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@BEGIN_FILE_ID.DIZ Chapter 32@END_FILE_ID.DIZ Matt finally talked to Mike. Mike was being such a prick to him, acting like he did rape her or something. Matt got mad. His friend's whole attitude seemed to be that he wasn't good enough for Jen. Fuck Mike, he thought angrily. Matt was still angry otherwise. It had changed him of course, the whole thing. Maybe it had been a learning experience. Well, obviously it had been a learning experience, he thought. He felt liked he'd matured, aged several years in the period of a few weeks. It gave him more confidence. But at the same time he had lost faith in people, in girls especially. He hadn't ever called her. He hoped it would send the message that he didn't need her. He resented her in a way. She was so full of it, he thought. He hurt inside still, especially when he thought about how she'd told him they could be friends. They never talked though. They barely acknowledged each other. She wasn't *mean* to him, and she said hi when she saw him, but it didn't seem like she was really making an effort to be his friend. She probably just said we can be friends to get me out of her face, he thought bitterly. She'll be leaving soon, he thought. She was graduating in a few months. Then maybe she'd move far away to go to school. He hoped the knowledge that she would be gone soon would force him to forget about her, but it wasn't happening. She was different too, he noticed. She had a different look about her, no longer sweet looking, laughing and smiling all the time. There was just a darker look in her eyes, if you could call it that. Maybe she resented him, he wondered. He wondered if it hadn't been for him, maybe she would have gotten back together with Ryan. I don't care anyway, he told himself. He always looked forward to practice though. There was still almost two months left of the season, he reasoned. That was practically the only time he ever saw her anyway. They talked some, he admitted. But only about superficial things. Not like they were friends. I don't like her anymore anyway, he thought. He decided he liked Lauren, a girl in his English class. He sat next to her, and he thought she flirted with him. Ha, he thought triumphantly one day, when he was walking out of class with Lauren, laughing about something. Jen walked by, and looked at them. He ignored her, hoping she'd think he never cared about her in the first place, and that maybe he had been using her for sex. He hoped she was dwelling on it, hurting inside as much as he did. His high spirits came crashing down one day during practice. The whole team was waiting for the coach to come. Some people were playing Frisbee, others sitting in small groups on the grass. He noticed a couple of guys, stoners, he thought. They were just standing there, looking towards the team. He didn't think much about them. But then they walked by, slowly, as though they were leaving. One guy hung back, stopping to watch the Frisbee game as though it were interesting. He glanced over at them, sitting in the bleachers. His friend continued on, pausing several yards ahead, to wait for his friend. Matt noticed a girl, Carrie, poking Jen. Carrie was a junior, and she and Jen hung out sometimes during practice. He could hear what they were saying. "Go see him," Carrie was insisting. "He wants to talk to you!" Jen was hesitant. "No, maybe he's not here to see me. He might be here for something else. . . " "Oh, like what? To watch the Frisbee game? Come on, go see him!" Jen still hung back. "Well. . . " "If you don't I'm going to call him over here and tell him you want to talk to him. What's his name, Kasey?" "No, don't! Come on. I'll go over there in a minute. He could come see me. . . " Carrie looked over at the guy, dragging his shoe in the dirt, standing by himself. He glanced over at them and looked away. Matt felt sick; they like each other! he realized. She's gonna go out with him! "Oh, Jen! He's shy!" said Carrie. Jen said nothing. "Oh, Jen! *You're* shy!" Carrie exclaimed. "Are you shy Jen?" Jen blushed. "No! It's just that, I don't know." "See, you went out with that other guy for so long that you forgot what to do, huh?" "I don't know. . . " Jen trailed. "Maybe. . . " "Just go talk to him. I can tell he wants to see you. If you don't I'll call him over here!" she threatened. "Fine, okay," sighed Jen. She paused, then stood up. Matt watched as she tried to casually walk over to the guy. The guy, Kasey? Matt wondered, smiled at her, reaching out to hold her hand briefly. They stood close together, talking and smiling at each other. Matt wondered if they were going to kiss, they were leaning in so close. He looked away, but couldn't keep his eyes off her, and them. He felt like a fool, thinking how stupid he was to think she would be hurting by his ignoring her. Fool, he thought to himself. Finally, they parted, him holding her hand again as he slowly walked away. He didn't turn around to see her, still standing there. He rejoined his friend and they left. Jen watched him walk away, then turned and, blushing Matt noticed, walked back towards Carrie and the rest of the group. "See! What'd he say? Did he ask you out?" Carrie demanded. "No!" Jen smiled. "But he did come here to see me. . . " "Duh!" "He didn't have my phone number," Jen continued. "He lost it. But he knew I went here and did track." "So, is he gonna call you?" Jen nodded. "Are you gonna go out with him?" She shrugged. "Jen!" exclaimed Carrie. "He's so cute! He totally likes you too, I can tell. Why don't you want to go out with him?" She shrugged again. "I don't know, I didn't say that. I don't know. . . " she repeated. "What's your problem? Don't you want a boyfriend?" "I don't know. . . Like you said, I mean, I just broke up with someone after three years. I mean, I want a boyfriend, but I don't know. You think I should go out with Kasey?" she asked shyly. "Yes!" Carrie answered firmly. "Why don't you go out with Matt?" asked Terry suddenly, who'd been a witness to the whole thing as Matt had. Both girls turned around, looking at Matt and Terry sitting behind them. "What?" Jen asked. "You should go out with Matt," said Terry. "Why don't you?" She looked at him. "Well, me and Matt are just friends. We already talked about it," she told him. "Well, you don't act like your friends with him," he pointed out. "Why don't you ever talk to him?" Matt muttered his usual "shut up,' which was, like usual, ignored. But his temper suddenly flashed before Terry or Jen could say anything else. "Why don't you FUCK OFF?" he said angrily to Terry, but while staring Jen right in the eyes. Her eyes widened, and she stared at him. He realized his mistake, and turned to Terry. "Just fuck off," he told him. "Will ya?" "God, Matt! Sorry!" he answered. "You'd better be," he told him, still angry. He'd had enough of his friends' shit. Jen was still looking him in the eye. She didn't look mad, but just looked at him. Then she smiled, and turned away. ***** The next day was an ordinary day, i.e. they didn't talk, just did their own thing. At the end of practice Matt was bringing in some stuff into the equipment room with a few other guys. It was a big heavy mat, for the high jumpers, and they were laughing and breathing hard as they finally got it to the door. Laughing, they dropped the pit onto the ground. Matt halted, seeing Jen in there with a guy. It was Ryan. Jen was in tears, practically. They stopped talking, looking over at the guys staring in at them. Jen's eyes met Matt's, then Ryan's did. He looked back at Jen. What could he say? She was still near tears, obviously upset. Ryan looked either angry or earnest. He asked the main thing on his mind. "You okay, Jen?" Ryan gave him a dirty look. "Yeah, she's okay! She's with me, aright?" Jen narrowed her eyes at Ryan, who was still glaring at Matt. Matt wasn't going to run away. Not this time. "Yeah, well then why's she upset?" he countered. He took a step toward Matt, but Jen jerked him back. "Leave him alone!" she snapped. "He never did anything to you! He never touched anything of *yours*!" she seethed. He stepped closer to her, staring her dead in the eye. He leaned in. "I made you mine two years ago," he whispered fiercely, loud enough that Matt could hear. "You will *always* be mine." Ryan stepped back, and she stood there, frozen. He stared at her some more, then turned and walked out, giving Matt a disgusted look. Matt wanted to hit him, but he was already walking away. Instead he looked over at Jen, still standing there, shaking. He walked toward her, touching her lightly on her shoulder. "You okay?" he repeated. She jumped from his touch. "What? Yeah, I'm fine," she told him, looking around. "Yeah?" he asked her. "What, is he still trying to get you to come back to him?" he asked, curious, and wanting to comfort her, maybe help her. She nodded tearfully. "I hate him," she whispered. "I hate him Matt. . . " The tears began to fall. He awkwardly put his arm around her, and she went to him, needing to be held. He put both his arms around her, hugging her tight. He looked over at the other guys still staring in. He motioned for them to leave, feeling like she needed him, and he was being there for her. Isn't that what she wants? he asked himself. Someone to be there for her? "It's okay," he whispered. "Don't cry. . . " It was too much like that night, only a few weeks ago. It seemed an eternity longer than that to him though. She cried on his shoulder, and he shushed her, telling her it was aright, just trying to be there for her. But now there was no "danger" of sex. Or was there? he wondered. He'd still take her, if that's what she wanted. Maybe she was now realizing, in his arms, that he *was* what she needed? he wondered. Maybe she's thinking she really *does* like me like that, he hoped. She felt so good in his arms, against his chest, as he held her tightly. It was so right, *so* right he thought, as he fought his own tears back. They stood there for awhile, hugging each other until her crying stopped. She pulled away, wiping her eyes. He stared down at her. She smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry. . . " she began. "I'm sorry, I just needed a hug I guess. . . " He shook his head. "No, Jen, you apologize too much. I understand." She smiled again weakly. "I'm just- I don't know, it's so horrible right now. It's like I'm dead, and I just don't know it. . . " He nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean," he told her. Chapter 33 Matt sat on his parents bed, staring at the phone. He'd been planning on calling Jen. He kept telling himself he could call her. Now he was chickening out again. But it wasn't like she hated him, he told himself. They did have some sort of relationship. They had slept together, and still talked to each other. Okay, now, he thought. He picked up the phone and dialed her number. He knew it by heart. She picked up instantly. "Hello?" "Jen? Hi, it's Matt. . . You know, from track?" "Yeah, I know who you are," she sort of laughed. "What's up?" "Oh, nothing. What are you doing?" "Nothing. Talking on the phone actually. . . " "Oh yeah?" Did she mean to me? he wondered. "Yeah. But I'm glad you called," she told him. "Oh, thanks. . . Who are you talking to?" he asked, curious. "Oh, just this guy. . . " His heart sank. "Oh." "I've been trying to get off with him for ever. Can you hold on?" "Sure." He heard the click as she went back to the other line, then a minute later she clicked back. He heard another click as the other line hung up. "So, what's up?" she asked him. "Oh, nothing much. . . " "Yeah, same here. I was doing my homework when the guy called." "Oh. Do you have to go?" he asked her, disappointed. "No, I don't have to go." "Oh, that's good." "Yeah. . . " Silence. He couldn't think of anything to say. His mind swam. "So who were you talking to before?" He cringed, now it sounded like he was jealous, or possessive, or nosy, or. . . "Oh, just this guy, Mitch. I don't know him that well. He's kind of annoying actually." "Really? Does he go to our school?" "Nah, he goes to school with Ryan. That's how I met him." "Oh, are they friends?" He asked even though he didn't want to talk about Ryan. "Kinda. Not really though. I don't know. Anyway since me and him broke up Mitch thinks he's my fucking best friend." Matt was surprised. Jen sounded really annoyed. "Really? What, does he call you all the time?" "Yeah. I mean, he's nice and all, but I don't want to go out with him, you know? And I guess maybe he thinks I do. I don't know, we talked a bunch, and I told him a lot of personal stuff. Maybe 'cause I needed someone to talk to. You ever do that?" "Yeah," he said, even though he hadn't really. "Well anyway he calls me too much and he like, gets all upset if I say I have to go. But oh well. So how are you?" "I'm good. The same." "That's good. God, it seemed like this year just started, huh? But there's only a couple of months left." "Yeah, I know. It's gone so fast." "I can't believe I'm almost graduating. High school will be over. It's so scary, it hasn't seemed like four years at all. Maybe one year. It goes too fast." "Yeah, I know! Where are you gonna go?" "Oh, I don't know yet. I haven't heard back from all the schools I've applied to. I don't know. . . " "Oh. . . " He couldn't think of anything else to say. "I'm glad you called, you know. . . " "Really?" he asked. "Yeah! You know, I'm really sorry about what happened. I wish we could have gotten to know each other in a different way." "No, it's not that bad. But I know what you mean." "Yeah, I just feel really bad. I feel guilty." "You shouldn't! I'm serious!" "Yeah?" "Yeah. But you regret it," he told her suddenly, admitting it to himself. "Well, I wouldn't say I regret it regret it. . . I mean, I wish it wasn't like that. I was drunk, and on the rebound, you know? So I wish that could have been different. . . " "Yeah, I know." "You regret it though?" "Regret it?" he asked in amazement. "It was the best fucking night of my life!" he told her, laughing. "Matt! Really?" she asked, flattered. "Uh, yeah." He added seriously, "But I guess I do regret the other stuff that came with it. . . " "Ryan. . . " "Well, yeah. And you. . . " he told her, his heart racing. "Me? What about me?" "Well, I mean, I don't know. Now it's awkward I guess. And it hurts, that you don't like me," he told her suddenly. "Matt . . . " she said. "I told you, I'm sorry. I am. I'm so sorry. . . " He didn't say anything, trying not to cry. "I am. I never meant to hurt you." "I know," he said. "I know that. Nah, don't worry about it, really. I'll be okay." "No, I mean it! I like you Matt, really." "Yeah?" "Yeah! It wouldn't have been so nice, it if weren't for you . . . " "Huh? What, you liked it?" he asked shyly. She laughed. "Yeah, you know I did. . . You know, you were a fantastic lover, Matt," she told him seriously. "Really?" he asked, delighted. "You thought so?" "Yeah, not that I've had so many or anything. But that's not what I meant I guess. I mean, because you cared about me I guess. . . " "I did. . . I do!" "Yeah, I mean, that's why it was so nice. If you hadn't wanted more, it would have hurt me a lot. 'Cause I don't go around having sex with every guy, you know? But that's why I feel bad, because I can't give you more. But I needed you to want more, for me. Isn't that selfish?" He was quiet, thinking. "I don't know, maybe." "Well I'm sorry. I hope you don't like, resent me or anything one day." "Oh, I won't! I could never resent you, Jen." "Really? Thanks." "No problem," he told her. He talked to her for awhile longer, half an hour maybe. Not about anything too serious. When they finally hung up he was so happy, relieved. He could safely say he was friends with her. He wanted to be there for her, like she needed. ***** Matt thought it was funny, how his moods were always changing. One minute he was so happy, then the next he was miserable. Like he went to bed so thrilled that night after he had talked to Jen on the phone, but the next night he was sad. He had tried to talk to her that day but she was different. She's embarrassed to be seen with me, he thought painfully. That must be it. He had sat with her as she and Carrie talked about Kasey and Mitch, and how Mitch called her all the time and Kasey never did. She thought Mitch was weird, and that Ryan had thought he did steroids. She wasn't really telling Matt any of this stuff, he was just sitting there, hoping to be a part of the conversation. But after awhile he felt like he was eavesdropping, and he got up and walked away without saying anything. He didn't think she even noticed. A few days later he was sitting after track, waiting for his mom to pick him up. His mom insisted on driving him ever since Ryan had jumped him. There were several other people there, including Jen. They were hanging around, watching the baseball game. He went to go get his bag, which he had left by the track, and when he came back Jen was sitting where had been. So he sat next to her, and she continued talking to some other people. "Oh shit!" she suddenly gasped. "What?" demanded Carrie. "Fuck. It's Mitch over there," she told her. "With the gray sweatshirt. Fuck, he's gonna see me!" "He's probably here to see you," Carrie told her. "Didn't you tell him to get lost?" "Yes! I told him I didn't want to go out with him. He thinks I'm his girlfriend, I swear! He got kinda mad but then he was okay." Mitch was walking towards them. He was strong, Matt could tell, but not that tall. He was holding something in his hand. A rose, Matt noticed. Jen did too. She stood up when he came up to them. "Hi," he smiled at her. "Hi Mitch. . . " she said. "Um, what are you doing here?" "Oh, thanks," he teased. "Here, this is for you. . . " He held out the rose. She didn't take it. "What's that for?" she asked him. "For you! I'm sorry we fought." "We didn't fight," she told him. "Yeah we did!" "About what?" "You know!" "Mitch," she sighed. "I told you, I can't see you. . . " He looked mad. "What? Not even like this, see me?" "I told you, I'm not your girlfriend!" He paused. "Yeah, and?" "Well you shouldn't have brought me a flower. I'm sorry, but. . . " "Oh, what?" "I told you, we're not going out. I'm sorry if you think that, but we're not. Anyway I can't deal with a relation. . . " He interrupted her. "Man, Jen. Ryan really fucked you up, didn't he?" he demanded rudely. Her jaw dropped. Then she narrowed her eyes at him. "Go to hell, Mitch," she told him coldly. Jen started to turn around, away from him, when his arm flew out. His fist struck her in the mouth, hard. She cried out, the blow nearly knocking her over as she was spun around. She pressed her hand to her mouth. By that time Matt had already jumped up and hit Mitch in the face as hard as he could. Mitch was startled, almost as startled as Matt was. But he butted into Matt, knocking him back against the wall. Jen cried out, and one of the coaches, who had come running when he saw her get hit, jumped on them. He pulled them apart, and Mitch fought him off. Matt still tried to hit him, but soon there were too many adults separating them. A huge crowd had gathered. It had happened so fast. Someone got Jen some ice, and a campus aide called the police. Matt tried to talk to Jen, but she just shook her head, in shock. Mitch was desperately trying to apologize to her before they moved him into one of the athletic offices. She wouldn't talk to him, she wouldn't even look at him. She didn't cry, just sat there clutching the ice pack to her mouth. Brian, Ryan's friend, and Jen's, finally got her to talk. He had his arm around her, comforting her. Soon she began to look really mad. "I'm gonna kick his ass," Brian told her. "No!" she sighed. "Brian, he's not even worth it. Don't worry about it." "No way. No real man hits a woman, ever. The guy's dead." "I told you, don't bother yourself over him. I hate him, I'm sure he'll leave me alone after this, so don't worry about it. Maybe they'll make him get counseling or something." "Ryan's gonna kill him," he told her quietly. She looked over at him. "Brian, no! Okay?" "Jen, he's gonna find out about it. There's too many people here for the game. I bet he probably already knows!" "No, I don't want to deal with this fucking shit. Ryan has no business with this. This is none of his business. Tell him that, okay?" "Jen!" exclaimed Ryan. "Ryan's gonna freak! He still loves you, more than anything. There's no way he'd ever let someone hurt you and not do anything about it!" "I don't care! I don't want either of them in my life, got it? Besides, this is nothing compared to how much Ryan hurt me. " "But still. . . Aright, I'll tell him you want him to stay out of this, okay? But if he kills Mitch it's not my fault." "I know," she sighed. Two officers came to talk to Jen, filing the report. She didn't want to press charges, but Carrie and Brian insisted that she did. Matt's mom showed up then, surprised to see cops next to her son. Matt was thankful his mom didn't freak too much. "My lip's gonna get huge," she complained, to nobody in particular. "Nah, I wouldn't worry about it," Matt told her. "Well it's not like I have anyone to look pretty for anyway," she muttered. Matt didn't say anything. His mom was talking to one of the cops. She motioned for him, that it was time to leave. He stood up, slowly putting his backpack on. "Matt?" Jen asked. He looked at her. She gave him a small smile, then pulled him to her, giving him a hug. "Thanks. . . " she whispered. "No problem," he smiled at her. She gave him another tiny smile, then turned and said something to someone else. He didn't talk much in the car, and his mom was quiet too. They talked about what he wanted for dinner, but not Jen or his actions. His mom told his dad the whole story of course, while he took a shower. His dad gave him a hug later. "You shouldn't fight Matt," he told him. "But I'm proud of you. I would have done the same thing in your place." "Yeah?" he asked. "Yeah. And if this girl doesn't like you, then she's the one who's missing out." Matt shrugged. His dad gave him another hug. Chapter 34 Ryan thought about his options. He was furious, first of all. But he was slowly and painfully beginning to accept that Jen wasn't coming back to him. Part of him couldn't acknowledge that, and that's the part that wanted to kill Mitch. He'd fucking hit her! He couldn't believe it. The other half was telling him she wanted him out of her life. She had been right, he hadn't realized the extent of what he had done. That was why he just assumed she would forgive him. He replayed it over and over in his mind, trying to black out his words and replace them with the right ones. But he couldn't, he couldn't ever take them back. What Jen had said at Dana's party was just now sinking in, and Mitch hitting her made him realize for the first time the extent of what he had done. It made him feel worse, and hate himself more. He wondered if she still would rather go out with Mitch than Ryan. After all, she'd said that if he had hit her, it would have hurt her less. What could he do? She hates me, he thought. I did blow it. Maybe he could at least call her? Not like he was trying to get back with her. Just to say he'd heard what had happened, and he felt bad for her and he hoped she felt better. Like he would for any girl he knew. Would she hang up on me? he wondered. He knew she might. He was planning on doing it, but he was too nervous. It's too soon, he thought. I'll do it tomorrow. He was horrified when he first found out that she'd slept with the freshman. He'd cried for hours. Then he was angry, and he took it out physically on Matt. He hated him, of course, besides. But he knew he didn't rape her, even if he had to tell himself he did so he could hit him harder. He knew it was Jen's way of hurting him, even if she didn't realize that herself. It had worked, nothing could have been worse then her sleeping with another guy, not after what they'd been through. He hadn't ever imagined they could break up. He loved her more than anything, more every day, even though she hated him. His family tried to cheer him up. But they were mad at him too, especially his dad, even though they tried not to show it. His brothers didn't know why she'd left him, but his parents did. Josh had told his dad, big mouth. His dad was furious at Ryan, for his disgusting behavior. It just made Ryan feel worse, and his dad didn't say much to him. He only asked him if he would ever treat a girl that way again. Ryan said never. His dad said he'd figured he learned his lesson. Maybe he should just call her anyway. He stared at the phone, remembering when he could count on talking to her every night. If he hadn't called her by nine, she would always call him. I took her for granted, he thought. But he called her anyway. He hadn't ever taken her number off speed-dial on his phone. His heart pounded in his ears as it rang. "Hello?" "Uh, hi. . . " She paused. "Hi." "Um, it's Ryan. . . " "I know who it is." "Oh, well, how are you?" "Fine," she told him. "That's good. I-I heard about what happened, with that Mitch guy. . . I'm sorry." "Yeah. Well, don't worry about it." "I-I wasn't! I mean, I just wanted to see if you were okay. . . " "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Gonna have a fat lip, but that's about it." "Well, it could have been worse." "Yeah, you're right. He could have gone out with me for three years then told me to fuck off," she said sarcastically. He couldn't think of anything to say. He was about to say that he never said that, but he knew he had, without words. She was still so angry at him. "I'm sorry," he said, even though he knew it wouldn't help. "Yeah, so am I." The way she said it he knew she was sorry he'd done it, not sorry she hadn't forgiven him. Or maybe sorry she'd ever met him. "Well, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay. . . " "Yeah, I am." "Maybe I'll see you later?" "Ryan," she sighed. "Don't. We can't be friends, we can't! Don't you know that?" "Well, yeah, but. . . I don't know, maybe. . . " "No. There's just no way. It's just impossible." He paused. "Yeah, I guess you're right." "Yeah. . . You have some stuff over here by the way." "Oh yeah?" he asked, sadly. He knew he did, he'd practically lived at her house. Getting his stuff seemed so final. "Yeah. Some notebooks. And your black baseball hat, and some other clothes. I don't care when you pick them up," she said coldly. "Oh. Okay, I-I'll get them sometime soon. I promise." She didn't say anything. His last two words hung in the silence, "*I promise*. . . " He tried not to cry. "Bye," he muttered. She hung up. He slowly hung up himself. He lay back down on his bed, staring at his books. He opened them, feeling numb, but he couldn't study. What was he going to do now? He had friends, but he'd just lost the best one he'd ever had. It was like a part of him had been ripped out. He felt hollow inside. He reflected some more, something he'd been doing all the time lately. He tried to push the memories out of his mind, but he couldn't. A knock came on his door. "Come in," he sighed, picking up his book again. Will came in. "Hi," he said glumly. "What are you doing?" "Nothing. Just studying." His brother sat at his desk. "I need some advice about girls," he said. Ryan didn't say anything. His brothers came to him all the time for advice, but they had pretty much left him alone since Jen had left him. "Well since- are you busy?" "No. I'm probably not the best guy to ask though," he sighed. "What's the matter?" "Well, you know Andie? Well I don't think she likes me anymore. I mean this other guy, Travis, likes her too. And she talks to him in class all the time and they passed a note today. What should I do? I love her a lot." "Will, you don't know anything about love," Ryan said disgustedly. "You're only ten!" "Yes I do!" His face crumpled. Ryan felt bad. Will was as much of a mama's boy as Ryan had been, "wearing his heart on his sleeve," as their dad said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just, I don't know. Well, who does she like?" He shrugged. "I don't know! Alex told her I still liked her but she said she didn't know who she liked. It's not fair. How can I get her to still go with me?" Ryan sighed, shaking his head. "You can't. I mean you just have to make it so she *wants* to go out with you." "How do I do that?" "Treat her nice. And just hope that she doesn't like anyone else better." Will paused. "Did Jen like someone else better?" he asked quietly. Ryan looked at him sharply. Will sat there at his desk, sitting on his hands, looking at him seriously. He looked just like Ryan, everybody said so. And he acted like him too. He looked up to him a lot, and emulated him. Ryan looked down at his hands. "No," he said. "Why'd she leave then? Did you treat her bad?" Ryan paused, then nodded. "Yeah, I treated her bad. Badly," he corrected. "What did you do?" "I don't want to talk about it. I'll tell you one day maybe. . . " "Are you sad?" he asked pensively. He shrugged sadly, but nodded. "Maybe she'll come back," Will said brightly. "Maybe if you say you're sorry?" "I already did," he sighed. "It's no use. She's not gonna come back." Will nodded, thinking. "See, that's what happens when you're a dick. So be nice!" "Oh, I will! I always try to be." "Good." Will stood up. "You wanna go play basketball?" he asked, trying to cheer him up. Ryan shook his head. "Nah, I can't. I have to study." Actually he just wanted to feel sorry for himself. "Okay," said Will. "I'll ask Robby. See you later!" he said brightly, leaving. Ryan lay back down, remembering how much Jen loved his brothers. He remembered one time a month or so back, Will had asked a girl, Andie, to the movies, and her parents were going to drive them. His whole family had teased him about "the date," and Jen was delighted. But she took one look at Will in Ryan's bathroom and refused to let him out of the house like that. He'd completely saturated his hair with gel and hair spray, and had "bathed himself in cologne" according to Jen. "No, no, no," she'd told him. "Get into the shower." "No!" he'd protested. "Why?" "Will! No! You canNOT go out looking like that." "Why not?" he asked, insulted. "Well, for one thing. . . " she began, touching his hair. "Your hair is completely petrified. It probably weighs eight pounds." "Well I just wanna look nice," he whined, looking crushed. "I know," she told him. "And you do. But you just look like you're trying too hard. . . " "Really?" "Yeah! You gotta look casual." "How do I do that?" "I'll help you," she smiled at him in the mirror. "First get in the shower and wash your hair two or three times and scrub all the cologne off. And use conditioner! Don't worry, you'll be ready in time." He hesitated. "Okay. . . " "Aright. Get in the shower," she told him, and began rifling through the drawers for hair supplies. "You have to leave!" Will wailed. "You can't look!" "Oh, sorry!" she told him, surprised. "But hurry up!" She left, and Ryan had been shaking his head at her while Will locked the door behind her. "I need some good hair stuff," she told him. "We can't let Will out of the house looking anything less than stunning." He kissed her. "Ask my mom. She probably has some stuff." She came back with an armful of supplies, a hair dryer, combs, and bottles of stuff to "stunnify" Will, as Ryan put it. He stood in the doorway, amused, and watched her go to work on Will, who was standing in front of the mirror clad in only pants. "See," she told him, "the key is, less is more, got it?" She combed a tiny amount of mousse into his wet hair. He frowned at his appearance in the mirror. "Don't worry!" she told him. "I promise you'll be ready in time!" Jen dried his hair with the screeching blow dryer, while Ryan caught her eye in the mirror, giving her a smile. Will began to smile at his reflection as his hair dried, shining in the light. She combed it, letting it part naturally. "Close your eyes," she instructed, spraying the tiniest mist of hair spray on. "There we go," she smiled at him. "What should I wear?" he asked, starting to leave. "No, you're not done in here yet," she told him. "Up!" she instructed. He giggled as she sprayed deodorant on his naked armpits. "Are your teeth brushed?" she asked. "No, not yet." "Brush your teeth. So, are you gonna kiss her?" "I don't know!" he responded, looking flustered. "Will! You gotta kiss her. If you don't she's gonna think you don't like her!" "But what if she doesn't want me to kiss her?" he whined. "I bet she does. I bet you that every girl in your class would love for you to kiss them," said Jen, wrapping her arms around Will as they both looked in the mirror. "Really? But I've never kissed a girl before. . . I don't know how!" "That's okay. It's easy. Ryan, comere. . . " Ryan stood in front of her, so Will could see. "Show Will how to kiss a girl," she ordered, smiling at him as they looked into each other's eyes. "Okay," he agreed, smiling back. "You should ask her first if you can, if you don't know," he told Will. "Then if she says yes," he said, still looking into Jen's eyes. "Then you look deep into her eyes, and lean in" he leaned in "and close your eyes" he closed his eyes "and touch her lips lightly with your lips," he murmured softly, kissing her gently. He pulled back. "Then you pull back. And maybe you kiss her again. . . " he added, leaning in and giving her another kiss. She smiled at him. "See! It's easy!" smiled Jen. Will looked at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth. Jen sprayed a bit of Ryan's cologne on him, teaching him how to spray it into the air and step into it. "Now we gotta get you into some cool clothes. None of this baggy skater stuff. You wanna make a good impression on her parents, don't you?" she asked when he'd protested. He nodded, and she went into his room across the hall, inspecting his closet and drawers for the perfect outfit. "Wear these jeans," Ryan heard her tell him. "No, the black ones! . . . Yeah. Will! Why don't you ever wear this shirt? This is the raddest shirt!" she exclaimed. Ryan laughed in his room. "Yeah, your black shoes are good. They're not that scuffed, and plus they match. . . Okay, I'm leaving, I'm leaving!" Jen came back into Ryan's room, jumping on him on the bed. "I got kicked out again," she smiled. "He has to change and he doesn't want me to see his sexy body." He kissed her, deeply. "I like it when you take charge," he whispered to her. "How 'bout you fix me up later?" She kissed him back, murmuring that she would as long as he didn't make her leave when he got naked. "I promise," he laughed. They kissed gently. "Well?" Will demanded in the doorway. Jen whistled, and he blushed, grinning. "There we go! You're pretty hot there me boy! If you don't watch out Ry I just might leave you for Will!" she teased. "They're gonna be here pretty soon. What should I say to her?" he asked, looking worried. "When should I kiss her?" He sat on the bed. Jen sat up. "Aright. You gotta say she looks pretty, first of all. And you kiss her in the movie theater, 'cause that's probably the only time her parents won't be there." "But remember, ask her first if you can kiss her," Ryan reminded. "But don't attack her." He nodded, looking excited and worried. "Go get her a flower from the backyard," Ryan told him. "Ask Mom or Dad first. And make sure there's no thorns!" "And don't get dirty!" Jen reminded as Will ran out. "Your brother's so cute!" she told him. He nodded. "But you're cuter," she whispered, kissing him again. She lay on him and kissed him until the doorbell rang, when they jumped up to see Will and his "date." Will and the girl stood there staring at each other shyly as her dad talked to his parents. She was very pretty, a little blond with big brown eyes. "This is for you, Andie," Will told her, holding out a freshly cut rose. "Thank you," she blushed. "You look pretty. . . " he said. "Thank you," she repeated, blushing even more. Her dad smiled down at Will. "Ready to go?" he asked. "Thank you John," said Karen to her dad. "We'll see you later. . . Have fun guys!" "We will," Will called back as he walked his date to her parents van. He looked back over his shoulder, giving his family the "A-OK" sign, and winked. They laughed hysterically as the door closed. Jen and Ryan laughed all the way back to his bedroom. They locked the door behind them, and wrapped their arms around each other, kissing passionately. "Aright, aright," Jen breathed, dragging him into the bathroom. "Your turn. . . " "Yeah?" he grinned at her. "Will you clean me up and make me pretty?" "You already are pretty but yeah. . . " she told him, running the bath water. She poured bubble bath into the water. "Get out of those clothes young man! They simply won't do for tonight!" she teased. "Buttons are too hard for me," he said sadly. "Will you help me?" "Sure," she laughed. She unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it off and kissing his bare neck. His nipples stiffened in the draft and from her touch. Her fingers fumbled between them, unzipping his jeans and pulling them down past his hips. He kissed her again while she stripped him of all his clothes. "Yea!! I get bubbles!" he exclaimed in delight, stepping into the tub. He sighed in pleasure as he sank down into the hot water. Jen kneeled on the side of the tub, sliding her hands into the water and exploring his body. Her arms in past her elbows, she rubbed her hands all over him in the soapy water. Laughing, she pushed him under the water so his hair got wet. She rubbed the sweet smelling shampoo into his hair, creating a lather while he sighed. The hot water felt so good on his head while she sprayed the shampoo out with the shower nozzle. She suddenly pulled the nozzle down and sprayed the hot water over his crotch, the head of his hard cock sticking out above the surface of the water. He gasped in surprise and pleasure, then laughed with her. "Aright, conditioner. . . " she told him, massaging the slimy liquid into his hair. "It needs to sit for a few minutes," she told him. "Well, I'm sure there's other things we can do. . . " She continued to massage his body, his chest and shoulders. He rolled around onto his stomach. She rubbed his back, scrubbing it with the sponge, her hands kneading into his muscular body. Her hands slipped lower, and he closed his eyes. He'd gotten over his fear of being thought of as gay, and just admitted what felt good felt good, and that felt good. Her wet finger slipped inside him, leaving no part of him unclean. He groaned, his eyes still closed, as she pressed down and rubbed his prostate. "Fuck," he gasped. Had his dick been touched the slightest bit he would have cum immediately. Her finger slowly moved in and out of him, gently, not going in past the first knuckle. He groaned again, then turned over again, not wanting to cum yet. She rubbed the rest of him until her hands were wrinkled from the water. She washed all the conditioner out of his hair, and he stood up, his dick standing up with him. She wrapped a big towel around him, and he climbed out of the tub. She dried him off as he shivered from the cold. She dried his hair with the towel, kissing him. She rubbed lotion into his skin, then baby powder. He tried to take her clothes off but she wouldn't let him. With the towel wrapped tightly around his waist, she dried his hair, so soft from the conditioner. Then she sat on the sink in front of him, and applied his shaving cream. She gently shaved him with the sharp razor, slowly dragging it up to strip the white cream away. He gazed down at her as she tried carefully not to cut his skin. She wiped off the excess foam with a warm rag, then patted him dry with aftershave. She smiled as she ran her hands down his smooth cheek. She rubbed her cheek to his, kissing his ear and neck. He picked her up off the sink, her legs wrapped around his hips. His towel fell to the floor as he brought her to his bed. He took her clothes off while she lay back. He lay on top of her, his hardness pressed against her skin. He kissed her and kissed her, his tongue probing lower and lower while she gasped. His teeth ever so gently went around her clit, then he began to suck. She pushed herself back against him, and he rolled onto his back. She straddled his face, her head back from the incredible pleasure. She gasped, then groaned loudly and cried out as she climaxed. She fell forward, still sitting on his face while he licked up her juices. His tongue still flickered against her clit, and she sat back up, then got up for a second while she turned around. He grabbed her hips and pushed her into him, groaning into her as she took him into her mouth. He kept licking her, drowning in pleasure as she sucked his dick, her fist tight around his shaft. His arms wrapped tightly around her ass as he buried his face into her pink folds. She let go of him temporarily, groaning and breathing and riding his face. Then she swallowed him again, sucking hard and massaging his balls at the same time. He knew she wanted him to cum when she did that. She took one of her fingers into her mouth alongside his cock, and rubbed it against the tip. He let out a cry, muffled from underneath her. Then she removed the wet finger, instead sliding it down his balls and inserting it into his ass. He let out a wail, his hips thrusting up as he started shooting into her mouth. She sucked it out of him, feeling him pulsate and contract rhythmically around her finger. She ground herself harder against him, whimpering as his tongue worked that much harder against her clit. She kept sucking him while her whole body shook from her orgasm. She lay on him, moaning softly and gasping while he kept licking her. Finally she rolled off him, onto her side. She turned back around, snuggling up to him while he kissed her. She smiled at him, with his messed up hair and glassy eyes. "I love ya," she told him. "I love you," he whispered back. "Wanna go take a bath?" She smiled. "Yeah!" They went into the bathroom, and he drew another bath. This time they both climbed into the soapy water. He lay against the side of the tub, and she leaned back on him. He closed his eyes, inhaling the sweet smell of her hair, which she had piled on top of her head. One finger traced her hard nipple slowly. "This is the best. . . " she breathed. "Hmm-mmm. . . " he agreed, his eyes still closed. "I mean, it's hard to think of anything being better. Just being here with you is the best, just relaxing, you know? It's so great. . . " "Yeah," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Your parents know when to leave us alone," she laughed, twisting around onto her stomach. "Good!" he smiled down at her. She kissed his hard stomach in front of her. She rested her cheek against his chest. They lay there together for a long while. He rubbed her back with the sponge, then sunk down lower into the water as he hardened again. He closed his eyes again, giving a little grunt of pleasure as she impaled herself on him. Slowly she moved above him, and he gripped the side of the tub. She lay down on him, moaning softly. Her hands slipped underneath his back in the tub. She hugged him tight, her cheek on his wet chest as she continued moving over him. He slid in and out of her and gasped, his head going back to rest against the cold porcelain. "Fuck," he gasped, as his cream spurted out into her. She lay on him, breathing hard. She kissed him again, and they lay in the tub together until the water started to get cold. Then they climbed out, tired. They lay on the bed, and he massaged her back and rubbed lotion into her skin for awhile, until Will came home. When they heard the car they pulled their clothes on, smiling at each other. "Think Will got laid?" joked Ryan. "I bet he did," she laughed. "Your brother's a mack." They went out, where Jen pounced on Will, hugging him while he blushed. Karen and JR laughed, but Will refused any questions. "He doesn't kiss and tell," teased Robby. "Shut up," he blushed. They dragged him into Ryan's room. "Come on Will," begged Jen. "We demand details!" "Did you kiss her?" asked Robby. Will nodded coolly. "Yup. I kissed her a whole bunch!" "Did you get "cancer" for her?" Robby teased. "Shut up," he muttered. "So, is it true love? Marriage? Three kids and a dog?" asked Jen. "She's my woman," Will smiled. All four of them laughed so hard they nearly fell off the bed. Ryan smiled now at the memory. But only briefly. continued. . . ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi. If you reply to this message, your message WILL be *automatically* anonymized and you are allocated an anon id. 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