NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #31/NN_1992_31.iso/spool/misc/kids/31024

Text File | 1992-12-22 | 2.9 KB | 58 lines

Newsgroups: misc.kids
Path: sparky!uunet!haven.umd.edu!darwin.sura.net!jvnc.net!yale.edu!qt.cs.utexas.edu!cs.utexas.edu!oakhill!amym
From: [e-mail] (Amy Moseley Rupp)
Subject: Re: "my wife and I are pregnant", revisited
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Organization: Motorola Inc., Austin Tx.
References: <[e-mail]> <31323@nntp_server.ems.cdc.com> <[e-mail]>
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 19:23:40 GMT
Lines: 47

In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Andrew Culhane) writes:
>picky about the English language, I guess.
>
>Claimer: Most of my friends, acquaintances, health care professionals, and
>downright strangers were much more determined to downplay my role in the
>pregnancy than my wife and I were.  I went with my wife to all of here
>pregnancy checkups, and I was always the only man in the office (except
>for one of the obstetricians).  The (female) receptionists, nurses, and
>doctors ignored me or talked around me to my wife.  The sole male partner
>of the practice was the only one who appeared to believe that the father-
>to-be might have reason to be included in the discussions.  At the hospital
>after my son was born, the nurses trained my wife in detail on changing
>diapers etc. and ignored me.

This is too bad!  We found an OB who included Ed in everything; her last
words to me at my last postpartum checkup were 'give my best to Ed.'
(He couldn't make that appointment.)
There were always other guys at the OB's.  (Although Ed did wimp out
of some appointments if they were very early in the afternoon or he
had a meeting at work.  Since I was the pregnant one, I had to go
whether or not they were early or inconvenient.)

In the hospital he was the first to change a diaper since I'd had
a Csection.  He had to get involved early since I couldn't.

>What does this have to do with anything?  Maybe nothing, maybe I'm just
>whining.  But just as surely as I'll never be pregnant, none of the women
>who find "we're pregnant" irritating will ever be treated in quite this
>manner.  Yes, I know, I'm comparing apples with watermelons.
>
>Also for what it's worth, my wife found this "ignore the father" behavior
>just as bizarre as I did.

And rightly so.  However, some women ARE left out of their own care by
their OBs.  That's why it pays to shop around for a good OB who will
include both partners, the pregnant one and the non-pregnant one.  ;-)

As I have posted before I disagree with the concept of 'pregnant
partners', but am not rabid about it.  Hey--a thought comes to my
tired-mom-of-an-infant mind:  if the dad gets sick while he is
pregnant, should he 'call the doctor if you are pregnant or nursing
before taking this drug?'  ;-)  ;-)  ;-)  That would be funny!
--
Amy Moseley Rupp            Mother to Elizabeth AnneMarie,
[e-mail]        born 11/4/92
[phone]