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- From: barrett@cs.umass.edu (Daniel Barrett)
- Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.graphics
- Subject: Liar, liar, pants on fire (was Re: GVP EGS-28/24 memory?)
- Date: 19 Oct 1993 17:47:13 GMT
- Keywords: graphic violence
-
- [In friendly discussion about the various Amiga 24-bit graphic cards
- (Picasso, GVP Spectrum, Piccolo, etc.)...]
-
- >>In the message * Re: GVP EGS-28/24 memory? * Dietmar wrote:
- >>> Nice guess, but again Mr. Schmiedehausen is wrong...
-
- >In article <DPHJt*QX0@forge.franken.de>, Barnard@forge.franken.de (Henning Schmiedehausen) writes:
- >> Dietmar: Liar. You know, I know. Ask Uli.
-
- In article <2a0sttINNg0u@iraun1.ira.uka.de> s_heidri@iraul1.ira.uka.de (Dietmar Heidrich) writes:
- >Henning: Lies much more than I do.
-
- Oh YEAH?? Well, your MOTHER tells SEVEN MILLION LIES every day, and
- Henning has TUNA FISH BREATH. Personally, I think what this newsgroup needs
- is MORE LIES. So here are a few...
-
- All of the EGS boards render their graphics first to Fast RAM, then
- to Chip RAM, then to VRAM, then to 16-bit RAM, and finally etch them
- DIRECTLY onto the Denise chip using a nuclear cattle prod. From there, the
- graphics get digitized and are shipped via a 128-bit bus to the Amiga
- blitter, where they get transmitted directly out of the external floppy drive
- port. Thanks to ingenious "pass thru" technology, they then get routed back
- into the audio outputs, travel along the SCSI cable, and finally reach the
- monitor, where they are rendered UPSIDE DOWN. However, the human brain
- automatically inverts the image, so we don't notice.
-
- But just in case you think the Picasso is superior... it actually
- does the SAME THING, except it uses DRAM instead of VRAM.
-
- Confused about which graphics board to buy? Then buy ALL of them
- for the ULTIMATE in compatibility and power. Did you know that if you run
- cables between the Retina, Picasso, Spectrum, and Piccolo, daisy-chaining
- them all the way to your monitor, then you get 96-bit graphics at four times
- the speed? Yes, really!!! I'm not kidding!! And you can hook up the whole
- mess to a Video Toaster, running in parallel with Opalvision, and cause a
- massive, 16-million color explosion guaranteed to wipe out a major
- population center!
-
- Zorro III, contrary to popular belief, is actually SLOWER than Zorro
- II, due to the overhead of the extra "I". Dave Haynie is currently hard at
- work on "Zorro One-Half" which will be faster still, capable of transmitting
- data at the mind-bending speed of eighteen TRILLION seconds per byte.
-
- I think I'll start my own graphics board company so I can join in
- this interesting and objective discussion. I think I'll call the company
- Graphic Violence, and its first board will be called "The Testosterone
- Enhancer." Simply plug the board into your Amiga, and all your graphic
- objects instantly grow huge muscles. Workbench icons become so strong and
- tough that it takes 8 or 9 clicks to run programs.
-
- I will post more of this important news if it becomes necessary.
- You have been warned.
-
- Dan
-
- //////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
- | Dan Barrett -- Dept of Computer Science, Lederle Graduate Research Center |
- | University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA 01003 -- barrett@cs.umass.edu |
- \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////////////////////
- ---
- Copyright 1993 by Daniel J. Barrett. All rights reserved.
- This article may be freely distributed as long as it is distributed in its
- entirety. It may not be included in any publication without the written
- permission of the author. So nyaaah.
-