Amiga ISO Collection/AmigaDemoCD2.iso/ASCII/TEXTE/SEX/ENGLISH/TripToRussia2.txt

Text File | 1992-09-02 | 13.0 KB | 241 lines

TRIP TO RUSSIA PART II
----------------------

This time I continue my old story. Here's some information for those guys
who haven't read the first part> In the first part we were in a copyparty near
Soviet Union's border and we decided to visit in Russia. We went there and
couple nasty things happened to us, but we came back alive.

Let's start this new story. So, we were at our copyparty. It was a nice party.
We were sitting in our private room and played some old game and drank beer.
Then we heard a phone ringing. Awcy went to answer it. It was Juxxis of Nikki
Corruptions of Clones calling.
- He said that he'll come to the party, Awcy said after finishing the call.
  He'll be here soon.
We waited and waited. We almost began to be desperate, but at last he came!
Juxxis said that he made a wrong turn once and went to a wrong direction.
(that's fucking normal for him)
- I've got a fuckin' great idea, Juxxis said after a little while.
- What? Awcy asked.
- Let's go to Russia!
(aaarrgghhh!!!)
- Yes, sure, said Awcy. Use shotgun. It's easier way to die!
- What? Juxxis asked.
- Well, we just were there and it wasn't very funny.
- Are you guys afraid of something? Juxxis asked.
- No! We're not! I shouted.
- We show you that we aren't scared! Let's go to that motherfucking dogshit
  place (usually called as Soviet Union...), said Rolex of Freedom Force and
Amiga Industries.
(shithead! Are we going back there again? No way man...)
But there was nothing to do. Again we were ready to go to our lovely (?)
neighbour land. This time we used a different way to go there. We went couple
kms with Juxxis car (a LADA ofcourse) and in the near of border we began to
walk (that was a hard job. Over 30 cms of snow on the ground. Just try it
by yourself). Soon everybody were dreaming of being in the front of a nice
little fireplace with fire in it and in your hand you'd have a cup of
Koskenkorva Vodka (with no Dole juice in it. Or what do you say Awcy?)
Enough of dreams. Back to reality! This is a good time to tell you who were
with us in this trip > Awcy, Brainie (that's me if you didn't know) and Juxxis
from the best Finnish group called Clones (pieni mainos ei haittaa), then there
were also Rolex and Raster from Freedom Worse (Oops, I mean Freedom Force and
Amiga Industries), Nefarious of ESA, Striper från Horizon and last and surely
least (?) Stingray from Exodus.
We walked and walked. I felt the sweat on my back. My shirt was wet.
We didn't talk much. Awcy was complaining of the meaning of the trip when we
suddenly came to a road.
- Hey this ain't in the map, said Nefarious.
- Let me see, Raster said. - Yes, gotta say that you're right! DAMN! This must
  be a new road. But where does it go?
- Let's continue walking on this road and find out where it goes, Juxxis said.
(surely not to Rome)
Everyone were much happier. It was much easier to walk in a road than in a
snowy forest.
- Boys be careful, Juxxis said. - There might be russian soldiers near.
  Stingray, watch out for the back and make sure that there ain't nobody coming.
We continued walking. It started to snow again and there was really cold.
We were freezing.
- We must be in Russia by now, said Striper. - There ain't a place colder than
  Russia and this is the coldest place I've ever been.
- There might be a colder place, Awcy said.
- Where, Striper asked.
- In your ass, Awcy grinned.
- C'mon boys! We should be near the border soon, Juxxis said.
Funny that we haven't seen anybody, I thought. Really strange...
Suddenly a bright light went on! We couldn't see anything for 10 seconds!
It took some time until our eyes get used to the light. Then we saw couple
cars and lots of men. In the side of cars were a sign > Sickle and hammer!
- Hey, what's this! We're still in Finland, Awcy shouted stunned.
- No youo're nut, said one man
It was really hard to understand what he said.
- Yuo're not in Finlandska yuo're in Soviet Union.
- What! We shouted all together.
- Hey, there must be somekind of mistake! Juxxis shouted. - Look at this map,
  man! We are here and Soviet's border is here, Juxxis said and pointed the map
to the man.
- Yuo man see thiss maap iss make i 1934!
- What! Juxxis shouted in furious. Hey this is Nefarious' map! Where did you
  get this?
- From the library, Nefarious said being embarrassed.
- Oh shit. This map is ancient, Juxxis cursed.
- And we are in a deep shit. In deeeeep shit, Awcy said.
- Yuo men come to kar und than we goe to oor headquarter
We stepped inside the car. Soldiers checked us and took off our belongings,
but Awcy managed to hide a little knife into his boots. We sat in the car and
looked out from the window. There wasn't anything to look at, just forest.
What are they gonna do to us, I wondered.
They took us to the nearest KGB's HQ. They took us into a small room.
There was only a little writingtable and a chair. We had to stand (but I'd do
anything to get out from that country). We waited for a little while until a
man came in. He looked really angry. The examination began.
- Names, said man with good English.
We lied to him and said wrong names! Gladly we left our wallets to the party
place. There were all our identification papers (ID cards and things like that).
After asking everybody's names he asked our ages. We didn't lie them ...
Atleast not very much. Rolex and Juxxis said that they were 17. We thought that
we had better chances if everybody were under 18) Then he asked why we were
there. We told him that we were lost (almost true!).
- It's a lie, the man shouted. - You're spies! USA has sent you!
(hah! The biggest joke that I've ever heard...)
- You're gonna go to a prison camp, the man shouted again.
- What! Hey you! You motherfucking dickface! We have our rights, Juxxis shouted.
- We have rights to call our consulate, Awcy said.
- You have no rights here, the man said and laughed. - You're gonna be in the
  camp for the rest of your lives!
- Die in shit you Stalin fucker, I shouted
That was a last point for him.
- Out! He shouted. - Out!
He shouted something in Russian and couple soldiers came in and knocked us out
(bang, bang)  ...  Later I woke up. I had a terrible headache. I looked around
trying to remember what happened. And then I remembered!
- Shit, I cursed.
I was in a little cell. There was dark and awfully wet. I waited a while until
my eyes get used to the darkness. After a while I began to search for my mates.
I found all of them. Slowly everybody began to wake up. There came moans and
cursings from everybody. We didn't have a light. We were in a deep shit,
literally. Atleast something was smelling like shit.
- Hey I found matches, Juxxis said and lighted one.
- And I have a knife, Awcy said and took the knife out from his boot.
Match's light was small, but it showed what kind of place we were in.
I saw a  giant cockroaches running on the floor.
- Hey, there seems to be somekind of hole in the floor where the water goes,
  Rolex said and pointed to one corner.
We looked inside the hole, but unfortunately there was bars, so nobody could
get through it.
- This must be a very old building, Raster said.
- So what? Rolex asked.
- Maybe here has been wet a long time, Raster said. - The cement might split
  quite easily. In a movie called "Alcatraz" they digged their way out that
  way.
- That sounds good, Awcy said. - We can use this knife for digging.
- Very good idea, Juxxis said. - So, start digging.
- Oh shit, why me, Awcy cursed.
- Because it was your wonderful idea, Striper smiled to him.
After an hour or two we had dug enough to rip the bars off.
After ripping the bars off I looked down from the hole. I couldn't see a thing,
because there wasn't any light.
- There must be lots of rats down there, so beware, Juxxis said.
- Ok, you may go first, I said to him and gave him a way.
Juxxis dropped himself to the sewer. I went after Juxxis and then Awcy, Striper,
Rolex, Raster, Nefarious and last one was Stingray. He put the bars back to
cover the hole so that nobody could realise where we had disappeared.
There was three ways to go. The tunnel was about 3 metres high and 2 metres
wide. Gladly it was an old building, because if it'd be a newer there wouldn't
be so big sewers.
We didn't know the right direction where to go and we just chose one tunnel
and began to walk in it. It was hard to walk, because there was so much
shit on the floor. And it smelled awful. After a little while we saw something
glittering in the darkeness.
- What's that, I asked from Juxxis who was walking front of me.
- I don't know, but they seem to be moving.
- Eh, Juxxis, said Awcy with confused voice. - Something is snatching my
boots.
- There's more of those red lights.
- They're not lights, I said to them when I realised what they are. - They're
  rat's eyes.
- Rat's? Awcy asked.
- Yes, I replied.
- Oh guys, I think we should run now, Nefarious said.
- I think you're quite right, Awcy said. - There's more of them and they're
  climbing up my feet.
- Shit! I shouted. - Let's run!
We started to run like maniacs.
- They got rabies, Nefarious shouted in panic.
- They got rabies, Striper joined to his shout.
- No they don't, they're just hungry. Poor little things, Juxxis said. - Let's
  give Awcy to them.  Maybe that way we could run away.
- Heh, heh! Really funny, Awcy said being frustrated.
- What about saying that there's a big sausage behind us, Raster said.
Suddenly Juxxis stopped running. I run against him. Awcy run against me and next
one against Awcy and so on.
- Why did you stop, I asked from Juxxis.
- Well, Juxxis said. - Does anybody want out of here?
- Yes, of course, we said to him all together
- Ok, just look up, boys, he said.
We looked up and saw light there. There also went ladders to up.
We climbed up as fast as we could.
(world record in ladder climbing, I think)
We came to somekind of store. There was a black Lada with three magic letters
in it (is it DOC? No, it's KGB!). We looked everywhere, but didn't find
anything useful. We stepped inside the car. There were no keys. Juxxis
grabbed some wires under the steering wheel.
- If I'm remembering right, connect red and black wire together, I said to
Juxxis.
But there was a little problem. There were only red wires!!!
- Fucking commies, Juxxis cursed. - Do they have to put that fucking red
  everywhere! Well, I'll have to test all these wires.
He tested and at last he found the right ones. The engine started and we opened
the doors.
- Let's roll man, Awcy said.
Juxxis stepped the pedal to the bottom and the car almost flied out from the
building. We were still inside the prison camp. But we were going to get out.
Awcy found a pistol from the compartment. He gave it to Rolex. Alarm-bell began
to ring and bright lights went on. We saw soldiers coming out from the houses.
But we were too quick for them. Juxxis drove through the wooden gate (blast...)
After a little while we saw that somebody was chasing us.
- What's that sign over there? Juxxis asked.
We looked and everybody knew what it meant! Surely we knew.
- Drive off from the road! We shouted.
- Why? Asked Juxxis.
- This road is mined! We shouted to him.
- Oh... Juxxis said. - Ok, let's see what this Lada can do!
He drove off from the road. There must have been over 30 cm of snow there.
Snow flew everywhere.
- I really hope that only the road is mined, Juxxis said.
- I hope so too, said Rolex. - Well, gotta say that Lada is a fucking good car!
  You don't need roads!
We didn't saw the following car anymore.
- They're chicken, Striper said laughing.
- Eh, I think it's time to go back to the road again, said Rolex. - I think
  there ain't mines anymore.
- Ok, back to the road again, said Juxxis and steered the car back to the road.
Gladly we didn't explode. So, probably there wasn't any mines.
- Yeah, I'm a roadrunner honey, sang Juxxis (but not very well...)
- Hey there is the border! Rolex shouted.
-  Good old Finland here we come, Raster shouted.
- This time we have more style in our returning than last time, I laughed.
-  Hey! There's a man standing on the road, Juxxis said.
- Aahh, just fuck his ass! Awcy shouted.
- Ok, let's rock! Juxxis shouted.
Juxxis drove as fast as he could. The engine was roaring (probably he should
change the gear?)
- He is not gonna step away, Rolex said.
- Let's see who's the chicken, said Juxxis, - I'm not gonna turn!
We came closer and closer to the man. There was only 10 metres left until the
man jumped off the road!
- Hah haaa! Motherfucker! Juxxis shouted out from the window.
- We aren't safe yet. There is a roadblock, Awcy said.
There was a lorry blocking our way.
- We can't go round it. There's no space and there's too much snow, Juxxis
cursed. - Well, we must jump out and run to the border. Wait for my signal.
Juxxis drove near the lorry, turned the car around and stopped.
- NOW! He shouted.
Everybody jumped out and ran toward the border. We jumped over the barbed-wire
fence and Russian soldiers couldn't do anything, because we were in Finland.
- Hah haa! Piss off guys! We shouted.
Then we began to walk to the party place. A couple of hours later we came to
the party. We went to our room and opened a bottle of vodka and drank it.



Brainie/Clones HQ (1989)