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- From: eddie@hermes.oit.unc.edu (Edward M. Averett)
- Subject: Re: Repost from ASAR
- Message-ID: <1993Jan22.024931.19524@samba.oit.unc.edu>
- Summary: Skeptics, Survivors, and Emotional Issues
- Sender: usenet@samba.oit.unc.edu
- Nntp-Posting-Host: hermes.oit.unc.edu
- Organization: University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
- References: <krikket.06og@meltdown.chi.il.us>
- Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 02:49:31 GMT
- Lines: 50
-
- I don't read ASAR and I don't plan to, cause I do agree with the point that
- these people need Someplace to be able to talk about their experiences.
-
- But as bad as these experiences may be, and I am familiar with them in depth,
- there is something that is becoming more and more of a problem, and which
- these Survivors and those who Help them should have more sympathy for, but
- don't. .and that is. .:
-
- Those who are accused of Emotional, Mental, or Physical abuse who are
- innocent. I have personally been accused of abuse of a female and have been
- witness to other incidents where other individuals have been accused of
- abuse. These incidents generally arise from an abused person overracting
- totally to what to a non-abused person would regard as an innocent situation,
- often frbecause of the neurotic or psychotic perspective/orientation of the
- survivor. However, it also happens as a kind of power-play on the part of
- the individual to obtain attention or to intimidate those around them to
- responding more "appropriately" to their situation.
-
- This has very negative effects, both specifically and in general. It harms
- the accused individual, friends and family, careers, and creates just that
- many more people who may then tend to discount or ignore the claims of
- other survivors.
-
- Which leads back to publicized, note publicized, accusations of abuse when
- there is no admissible evidence to support it. Society rightly comes down
- hard on accused individuals, unfortunately often too hard when subsequently
- not found guilty, and not hard enough for those who are. But society also
- needs to come down hard on those who make false accusations, and the Support
- community does not make this clear to those who it is supporting. In fact,
- it is my experience that the Support community retreats into its own shell
- just as the Survivors tend to do, viewing the outside world with a narrow
- perspective of fear and suspiciousness. Survivors need, as part of their
- therapy, the information that the world is not divided into Abusers and
- Survivors and Therapists, and that Any implication of a false accusation
- aired to the world at large is much much worse for the general state of
- the community at large.
-
- Innocent until Proven Guilty cannot be overemphasized. Bearing False Witness
- is one of the worst afflictions that can be imposed upon us, as it seeks to
- destroy that upon which we base the security of the group in general. If
- anyone can be destroyed by accusation, intimidated by threat of accusation
- without evidence, or castigated by subsections of society whenever someone
- drops a hat, then none of us, survivors or anyone, can be truly safe.
-
- Well, that should evoke some hostility. .sigh... Please keep name-calling
- flames to email, thanks. Responsible posts welcomed, this is a hard
- subject, with no easy answers.
-
- -Edward Averett
-
-