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- Xref: sparky alt.feminism:7509 soc.women:22963
- Path: sparky!uunet!utcsri!utgpu!attcan!telly!problem!intacc!zerobeat
- From: zerobeat@intacc.uucp (Ferenc Szabo)
- Newsgroups: alt.feminism,soc.women
- Subject: Re: Male Men Bashers
- Message-ID: <1993Jan20.012450.17072@intacc.uucp>
- Date: 20 Jan 93 01:24:50 GMT
- References: <1993Jan15.171843.3065@wam.umd.edu> <1993Jan15.182148.7154@wam.umd.edu> <1993Jan17.014306.7372@adobe.com>
- Organization: Inter/Access' Matrix BBS
- Lines: 33
-
- >
- Janice Kendall says:
- >I am a woman and I wanted a "nice, sensitive guy". I've dated self-centered
- >jerks and as I matured and came to care more about my own "quality of life"
- >(yep - it's, arghhh, SELF-ESTEEM!), I quit seeing the self-centered jerks
- >as better-than-me-and-therefore-desirable, and saw them as self-centered
- >jerks not worth wasting my time on.
- >
-
- Janice, I wish every woman would think as you do. Unfortunately, in the
- sphere of people I happen to run across, the stereotype of the woman with
- the self centered abusive/mysoginst asshole is prevalent enough make me
- depressed sometimes. I even know of woman who stick with their *physically*
- abusive partners through thick and thin. These men typically have something
- about them (i dunno....nice car? money? idunno) that I suppose makes them
- desirable (good bodies? good cooking? idunno). Virtually all of these men
- that I might talk to in private refer to women as 'them bitches' or other
- derogatory terms. THey *know* that they have this 'charm' or whatever it is
- to "get the babes".
-
- About 4 years ago I think I almost became brainwashed into thinking that
- YES, perhaps if I was a jerk like these other guys then women would pay
- attention to me. But then instructional wisdom reasoned out that I might
- not want to be close to a woman who would be attracted to an abusive SOB
- anyway.
-
- What I am trying to say is that it is not totally unfounded for many men
- to perceive that women DON'T like 'nice guys'.
-
- 363 months on this planet and still optimistic that there are many more
- women like Janice out there.............
-
- ferenc
-