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- From: rhayden@oracle.com (Ronald Hayden)
- Subject: Re: Call/Fax/Write Fernandez
- In-Reply-To: smithw@col.hp.com's message of 24 Dec 92 21:26:34 GMT
- Message-ID: <RHAYDEN.92Dec29113324@hqsun2.oracle.com>
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- Organization: Oracle Corporation, Belmont, Ca.
- References: <RHAYDEN.92Dec24101559@hqsun2.oracle.com>
- <1hd9uaINN9p8@hp-col.col.hp.com>
- Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 19:33:24 GMT
- X-Disclaimer: This message was written by an unauthenticated user
- at Oracle Corporation. The opinions expressed are those
- of the user and not necessarily those of Oracle.
- Lines: 76
-
- In article <1hd9uaINN9p8@hp-col.col.hp.com> smithw@col.hp.com (Walter Smith) writes:
-
- rhayden@oracle.com (Ronald Hayden) writes:
- > I know my family. When I contacted them recently, my siblings tell me
- > that my mother was more excited than she had ever been -- she wanted
- > me home for christmas. Then she got a letter from me, making it clear
- > that sexuality is a part of my life, and is not going away.
-
- I've read this part over a few times, and don't know if I really
- understand the meaning. (sexuality is a part of my life).
-
- By this I mean that being gay is not "a phase", is not going away, and
- is not something that I will just pretend doesn't exist in order to
- keep from offending somebody.
-
- > It seems like some people want to have it both ways -- they want to
- > judge, yet not have the consequences that come with judging. In my
- > opinion, people who "think homosexuality is wrong but treat
- > homosexuals just the same" are avoiding something. They aren't
- > dealing with internal issues (about religion, about life). They just
- > want to whistle past the sexuality issue and have everything else
- > remain the same.
-
- Here's the S word again, and again I'm not sure I'm grasping all
- of its meaning here. What is the sexuality issue?
-
- Sexuality meaning the full range of sexuality. Whatever a person's
- sexuality (in other words, sexual orientation). Perhaps replacing my
- use of 'sexuality' with 'sexual orientation' would make for more
- accurate phrasing...
-
- > Parents who don't completely reject their
- > child sometimes come to this point, realizing that there is nothing
- > wrong with the child, they have to look at the rest of their beliefs.
- > And if they do so honestly, that often leads to changes in themselves.
- > Sometimes they leave their church (if the church is telling them
- > things about their child that they know are untrue),
-
- Which leads to the question, if tolerence isn't enough; if acceptance
- is what is desired, how is this to be accomplished with the bulk of
- western churches teaching that it is unacceptable? How can people
- who believe in their religion be convinced that it is OK, if their
- religion teaches it is not? ie; how will the desired goal of acceptance
- coexist with the churches, and the people in them? Will the churches
- have to change their teaching on homosexuality?
-
- This question doesn't mean much to me. Sure it would be nice if
- churches changed their teachings, but it's not required. Right now
- many churches preach against abortion, some against birth contol. Yet
- an overwhelming majority of people (including those who attend those
- churches) disagree and defy their church on these issues. My guess is
- that this means the churches will eventually change their doctrine, to
- keep from losing the people. (The Catholic church is losing young
- people at a very high rate right now...)
-
- But the phrasing of "will the churches *have* to" is kind of
- confusing.
-
- > I often recommend this book, and I'll do it again. It's called Beyond
- > Acceptance, and it's written by parents from P-FLAG (Parents and
- > Friends of Lesbians and Gays). It mostly consists of pieces of
- > interviews with parents as they go through the process of dealing with
- > their child's sexuality.
-
- Think a public library would have this one?
-
- Depends on the library, I suppose. But a good one would.
- --
-
- - Ronald Hayden
-
- ----------------------------------------------------------------
- | Documentation Manager, Oracle Toolkit Group |
- | Co-chair of Oracle Lambda, Oracle's Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual group |
- | Writer, magician, and various other things |
- ----------------------------------------------------------------
-