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- Newsgroups: soc.bi
- Path: sparky!uunet!microsoft!hexnut!jenk
- From: jenk@microsoft.com (Jen Kilmer)
- Subject: Re: treating men as sex toys
- Message-ID: <1992Dec30.063433.23345@microsoft.com>
- Date: 30 Dec 92 06:34:33 GMT
- Organization: Microsoft Corporation
- References: <MUFFY.92Dec24114049@remarque.berkeley.edu> <1992Dec26.052957.4713@news.acns.nwu.edu>
- Lines: 41
-
- In article <1992Dec26.052957.4713@news.acns.nwu.edu> Albert-Lunde@nwu.edu (Albert Lunde) writes:
- >In article <MUFFY.92Dec24114049@remarque.berkeley.edu>
- > muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu (Muffy Barkocy) writes:
- >>[some men seem to like sex w/ men for "just sex", but if emotions
- >>are in play, they want a woman]
- >>
- >>For me, this is not true at all; the emotional interactions seem to be
- >>pretty identical....I wouldn't feel bisexual if I was just
- >>using men for sex...they'd just be a rather elaborate sort of dildo, and
- >>I don't think I would be bisexual if I was only having relationships (of
- >>any sort) with women and just had a large collection of dildos...*grin*.
- >[...]
- >
- >Well, it sounds like your experience is not inconsistent with the idea
- >that women are socialized to place more importance on emotions and
- >relationships. It sounds like you would not pursue relationships
- >without a relational component, so *for you* the experences of both
- >sexes tend to have more in common.
- >
- >A man, say, who was not adverse to cheap meaningless sex ;) might find
- >that men and women responded differently to the idea.
-
- I find this rather interesting in light of recent discussions with
- a [male fundamentalist christian] friend about the role of sex in
- human relationships. His view is that sex is only part of a whole
- marriage, that marriage makes one being out of two people, and that
- sex can't be successfully separated from the rest of the whole
- relationship. For him, separating sex from the love & commitment
- of marriage is not what God planned and he personally finds it
- ... um ... revolting.
-
- I, on the other hand, have maintained that sex can be just a physical
- act, and that it's not necessarily better or worse than sex as part
- of another relationship - and of course relationships vary as well -
- what I've maintained is that it's different, and each kind of
- relationship/encounter is likely better or worse for a particular
- individual based on what the particular individual needs/wants.
-
- Anyway....
-
- -jen
-