NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #31/NN_1992_31.iso/spool/misc/activism/progress/9556

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From: New Liberation News Service <[e-mail]>
Subject: NLNS: Feminists Integrate Men-Only Rape Talk
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/* Written  9:57 pm  Dec 20, 1992 by [e-mail] in igc:nlns.samples */
/* ---------- "NLNS PACKET 3.6 *** 12/11/92" ---------- */

Feminists Integrate Men-Only Rape Talk
Jenny Brown, The Gainesville Iguana

GAINESVILLE, FL (NLNS)--Nearly twenty years after feminists busted
into the men-only Blue Key Banquet, Campus National Organiziation for
Women members forced their way into a Dec. 10th rape talk which was to
allow only men. "Groups of priviledged people aren't going to meet alone
and figure out how to end their priviledge." concluded Campus NOW after
several women representing the group entered and asked questions during
the Rape Awareness Week forum that had been billed as "men only."
    Feminists' discomfort at the increasing emphasis on men-only rape
talks became alarmed when Campus NOW member Bill Stephenson
attended and taped a men-only rape program last year. After listening to the
tape, Campus NOW activists concluded that the forum was not only not
helping to stop rape, it was perpetuating sexist beliefs and behavior, and
they decided to integrate this year's program.
    In a particularly glaring example from the tape, forum leader and
University Police Department officer David Andrews stated,
"Approximately 50% of rapes reported are false. The girls [sic] are trying to
get back at someone, some girls are emotionally unstable, maybe her
parents can't afford to keep her in school, so she's looking for a way to get
back to the house... So [false reports] that's the reality, something you
always have to keep in mind [if a woman tells you she's been raped.] You
might want to sign a contract before you make love. [Male audience
laughs.} It's a part of human nature. Women see a way to get something
they want and they're going to use it."
    Campus NOW went to this year's forum with leaflets containing
rape statistics and a page on why they were there (see box), which
contained the quote above on the reverse side. When NOW arrived, two
women officials in the Division of Housing physically blocked them from
entering and engaging them in a long discussion. After about ten minutes,
NOW officers decided that the discussion was just a stalling tactic and they
pushed their way into the room. Seven women entered in all. In addition,
two male NOW members attended the function as part of the protest. (Later,
Assistant Housing Director Vicki Williams, one of the women who had
physically blocked the door, was quoted in the Alligator (the University of
Florida mainstream paper) as saying, "I didn't want the women they
coudn't come into the room.")
    NOW distributed leaflets to the all-male audience. The housing
officials followed them around taking the leaflets from the men, saying
"You don't have to keep that." One man said he was told three times that he
didn't have to keep the flyer.
    This year's program was again led by Andrews and by a female peer
educator from the Sexual Assault Recovery Service, who said it was the
first workshop she'd ever led. Her presence there was a concession to a
demand by NOW. They had called the University Police Department to ask
that a woman lead the workshop.
    Despite charges that NOW was violating the men's right to freedom
of association, it turned out that the women were the ones illegally being
blocked from entry, since under the Sunshine Law "stricktly speaking, it
had to be open to everyone that wanted to go" Paul Gates, a research
assistant at the Brecher Center for Freedom of Information was quoted as
saying in the *Alligator* two days later.

"Comfortable"
    The main reason given for having a men-only group was so that
men would "feel comftorable asking frank questions about rape without fear
of retribution" in the words of police spokeswoman Angie Tipton. Former
organizer Daniel Klein said the forum's 'purpose was to provide a
comfortable atmosphere for men to discuss rape and ask questions about it.'
    Many feminists said that they thought it was wrong for men to feel
comfortable about rape. If men feel uncomfortable in a forum like that,
that's good, said one feminist who is a man.
    But people who attended both last year's forum, which had just
men, and this year's, stated that there was much more free-flowing
discussion this year. Even Andrews stated after the program that with or
without women it was "pretty much the same." He stated that at this age,
"they pretty much put into words what they're thinking."
    And one student reporter wasn't at all shy about how he felt about
rape. When a Campus NOW member wouldn't give him her name in an
interview after the program, he said to her "I hope you get raped," and left.
She later went to his reporting class, announced what he had said to her,
and asked if this was how reporters were supposed to act.
    With women present, however, the program organizers did not play
the audiotapes they had played last year. One had a woman talking about
being raped and another was a tape of a 911 telephone call by a woman as
her house was being broken into and as she was being attacked. Stephenson
described the latter as a "snuff tape." The organizers explained that they
were too graphic for women to hear. "We can get raped, but it's too graphic
for us to hear" one woman complained bitterly. Instead of hearing the tapes,
one of the NOW women testified about being raped in order to support a
point she was bringing up. Others talked about their own and friends
experiences trying to report rapes to law enforcement. Others cited statistics
wherein nearly half of men said that they would force a woman to do
something sexual if they didn't think they would be caught.
    The formal presentation was short and boring. The discussion
following it centered around what constituted rape and women raping men,
Stephenson said he thought that the main point of the questions about what
constituted rape was to figure out how to get away with it. NOW members
who attended were amazed that the facilitators allowed the audience to go on
and on in misconceptions and distortions. When it became clear that the
obvious answers would never be given (such as the legal definition of rape,
or why women don't report rape) NOW members raised their hands and
contributed their comments.
    Another theme, which consumed a large portion of the program,
was women raping men. When the woman moderator, Liz Kretzedemas,
pointed out that this was a vanishingly small portion of all rapes, she was
ignored and the audience continued to talk about it for several more minutes

Better Facilitators?
    In the face of the blatent inaccuracies on the part of Andrews and a
completely legalistic approach to why rape is bad, some people argued that
the problem was with the leaders of the workshops, not that they were men,
necessarily, but that they weren't well trained. But student government
spent a considerable amount of money getting the out-of-town male expert
to another forum last year, the one which was reported to have concluded
that men couldn't help it.
    And while a woman co-presenter is a step forward, the audience
members simply ignored what she had to say on more than one point.
    It is odd, too, that organizers will play tapes of women in the role of
victim, but will not admit women themselves, who might be angry or
manifest other signs of fighting back.
    At a time when budget constraints and the tendency of the university
to want to hide rape have severely curtailed victims services, it's shameful
that UF is spending money and energy on men-only programs of doubtful
effectiveness.

Resistances
    Many men and some women expressed disagreement with the
action. NOW was criticized for everything from violating a constitutional
right to freedom of assembly to just hating men.
    In consciousness-raising after the action, many women said that
they had changed their minds several times on the issue. Things that made
them think the action wasn't good were that they were concerned about
NOW's reputation--that it was a difficult action to explain and understand--
that it was very hard to stand up against criticism from male and female
friends--that there were certain legal rights that people had to meet together--
that maybe men all on their own would learn to stop raping. "We want to
think there's one good guy who will stand up," one woman stated. Reasons
to do the action were: Experiences with men in groups being worse than
individually--not wanting a group with priviledges talking about an issue of
vital importance to your life while exluding you--the tape of the previous
year's talk--the analogy of black people being exluded from a talk on
racism--that there aren't enough gus who are feministsb if it messes up
women will pay the price--it's better to organize the most effective thing.
    Stephenson said he used to defend all-male groups and that in his
case it had to do with men wanting to feel good about how great they are
and not wanting to believe that there are some issues men can't resolve on
their own.
    Most people who testified in the evaluations of the action agreed that
it was good that it had been done.


Changes
    Some people interpreted NOW's action as meaning that they
believed that men couldn't change. But an editorial signed by the 7-member
Campus NOW Board stated "Just as women must live with men's sexism
towards us every day, men who care about women in their lives are going
to have to bear it when we tell it like it is, not cringe and say they're scared
and that we're hurting their feelings... men who truly want to fight rape will
welcome us into their forums so we can tell our side and so we can confront
them on their oppresive attitudes and actions." While men could change, a
men-only forum was not the way to achieve that change.
    Women have been excluded from higher education, higher-paying
jobs, Florida Blue Key, the Florida legislature, and many other all-male
clubs which have been integrated only through organized and militant
feminist action. It is ironic that men-only clubs are coming back in the guise
of being "for the good of women."
    The Campus NOW Board editorial states: "Based on our experience
with men-only groups--fraternities, men's sports, groups of men screaming
at us from cars--men in such groups frequently and openly display sexist
attitudes and tend not to object, but rather reward one another for sexist
actions. Because of this, Campus NOW stands against men-only groups."

The Gainesville Iguana can be reached c/o CISPLA, PO Box 14712,
Gainesville, FL 32604.

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