NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #31/NN_1992_31.iso/spool/ba/general/5461

Text File | 1993-01-02 | 7.0 KB | 122 lines

Newsgroups: ba.general
Path: sparky!uunet!spool.mu.edu!umn.edu!csus.edu!netcom.com!ds
From: [e-mail] (David Schachter)
Subject: Re: Can I eat the olives from our tree?
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Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest)
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Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 23:28:35 GMT
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Good thing you waited until 1993-- the Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of
last year greatly simplified the procedure.  Here 'tis:

You must file California Dept. of Farming and Agriculture form 312-G/2,
"Application to Consume Self-produced Olives."  Be sure to get the 1993
version; some copies of the 1968 and 1989 versions are STILL floating around.
File the form, with the $35 processing fee, the $5 filing fee, and the $7
Wild Olive Genetic Diversity Preservation Fund surcharge and include a
certified copy of your financial responsibility insurance form (available
from your broker, usually for a nominal $10 or so.)

If you intend to use olives from more than twenty trees, you should also file
312-H and 312-H/2, "Surplus Olive Tree Personal Consumption Exemption Applic-
ation" and include an extra $323.  On 312-H, you list the number of trees and
their pedigrees.  On 312-H/2, you provide a acreage estimate, an assessor's
report, a copy of title from the county clerk's office, a parcel map, and
signed waivers from other olive growers in your county, attesting to their
knowledge of your plan to personally consume olives from more than twenty
trees.  (Yes, it's a pain.  It's a hangover from the marketing orders of the
Depression era.  Fortunately, few people have more than twenty trees for
personal use.)  Include an extra $5 filing fee and an additional $21 for the
WOGDP Fund.  (You can contribute more to the fund if you want-- there's a
checkoff box on 312-H.)

If your family has more than six people (where "family" is the extended
agricultural definition, including farm workers who live on the premises),
you must also file form 312-N and include an extra $5 filing fee and $3 per
person listed on 312-N.  Attach to 312-N proof of citizenship or legal
residency for each person listed.  Note: form 312-N is NOT needed to allow
farm animals and pets to consume personally-produced olives.  Pets are covered
under 312-G and farm animals are NOT allowed to consume personally-produced
olives.  (The latter isn't a significant problem; you can feed farm animals
with olives you grow as long as the olives are classified as commercial or
agricultural olives, on the appropriate forms.)

Processing 312-G/2 usually takes about 4-6 weeks, although recent budget
cuts have reduced the staff and the wait may therefore be longer.  When
the form has been successfully routed through the state bureaucracy, you'll
get a letter of legal mumbo jumbo, called a "Private Olive Disclaimer."
This essentially tells you that the state disclaims any responsibility
from acts you may commit and damages you may cause or incur as a result of
eating home-grown olives.  You have to countersign the letter and send
two copies back to the California Dept. of Insurance and one copy back to
the Dept. of F & A.

If you filed 312-H and 312-H/2, processing takes about 12 more weeks, while
the various attached bits of paperwork are checked and a random sample of
olive growers in your area are contacted to make sure they actually did
sign the waivers.  If you filed 312-N, processing takes about 4 additional
weeks, while the citizenship/proof of legal residency forms get checked.

When F&A confirms receipt by Dept. of Insurance, they will send you a
"Personal Consumption Stamp (Olive)," twenty "Personal Consumption Tree"
stickers (or more than twenty, if you filed 312-H and 312-H/2), and a
"Personal Consumption Grove" sign if you filed 312-H and 312-H/2.  You must
stamp >each< olive with the olive stamp if you intend to keep the olives
for more than ninety days after harvest.  Each tree must be stickered and
the grove must be posted if there are more than twenty trees.  You may NOT
mix personal and commercial trees in the same grove.  (However, a simple
fence is sufficient to separate groves and besides, the inspectors generally
don't care.)

I hope this information is of assistance to you.  Unfortunately, I'm out of
touch with the federal forms-- Contact the USDA local farm office for them.
I think the federal forms are in the 199635-199725 range but I might be wrong.
(I haven't eaten olives in six years.  The last time I tried to fill out the
paperwork, I got tendinitis and carpal tunnel syndrome.)

Safety tips:
   Olives are NOT toys.  Do not leave them around small children unattended.
   More than ten olives in a 24 hour period can cause serious illness or death.
   Some people are allergic to olives.  Before giving an olive to an "olive
      virgin," have a doctor do a simple skin test for sensitivity.
   Olives can be addictive.  If you or someone you love has an olive problem,
      contact your local Mental Health Dept. or a self-help group such as OA.
   Always wear appropriate clothing and breathing apparatus around olives.
   Do not consume olives in poorly-ventilated places.
   Wear gloves.
   Handle olives with appropriate care.
   Handle olives with appropriate instruments, properly sterilized.
      (Personally, I like Lovett Olive Forceps and Goldberg Olive Depitters
      but your taste may vary.  [Hah hah-- what a pun-- "your taste."])
   Keep the area CLEAN!  Olive oil is slick and can cause serious injuries.
   Make sure you have appropriate spill cleanup apparatus handy and are
      qualified in its use.
   Make sure fire personnel have been advised of your activities.  Many fire
      departments have "Olive Processing On Premises-- Fireman Keep Out"
      signs available for free or for a buck or two.
   Before you start working with olives, make sure you have a safe disposal
      method for pits, stems, and other detritus.  I believe the Hanford
      Nuclear Waste Depository accepts olive waste under a special test
      program and it's FREE!!!
   Do not allow olives to freeze nor to heat past 40oC (unless you have
      a bunker with reinforced concrete handy!)
   Do not subject olives or olive pits to sudden shocks or vibration.
   Do not move quickly in their presence.
   Do not taunt them, make fun of them, or speak loudly when near them.
   Don't talk about "extra virgin olive oil" where they can hear you.  They
      are Roman Catholic and frown on sacreligious speech.

Remember: Olives are NOT toys.  Do NOT eat them unless you are qualified and
have proper professional support.  Over 1200 people died last year from
abusing olives; don't become one of this year's crop.

                -- David "This article is 100% fact free"
                     Schachter
--
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 David Schachter                                [e-mail]
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