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- Newsgroups: alt.transgendered
- Path: sparky!uunet!europa.asd.contel.com!darwin.sura.net!jvnc.net!nuscc!ipacs
- From: ipacs@solomon.technet.sg (IPACS PTE LTD)
- Subject: Troubled
- Message-ID: <1992Nov16.042100.24824@nuscc.nus.sg>
- Sender: usenet@nuscc.nus.sg
- Organization: National University of Singapore
- X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
- Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 04:21:00 GMT
- Lines: 126
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- Hello All,
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- I am really troubled by a tough decision to make. To stay as I am now or to
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- undergo another corrective surgery.
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- All this happened 2 months ago when a series of coincidences and mistakes
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- lead to my present problem. I was scheduled for an elective operation for
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- the ligation of varicocele in my left testis. I was admitted and the blood
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- test etc was carried out. It so happened that another patient was going for
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- a sex ressignment surgery was next to me. It was interesting talking to him
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- as I learnt quite a lot of the way a transexual feel. Then I was given this
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- wrist tag with my name on it (I didn't check as I assume it should be
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- right). In actual fact there was a mix up, one thing that could have
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- contributed to it was that I looked quite alike the patient next to me. That
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- evening the anaesthetist came to make his rounds and assures me that the
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- operation will be really fast - I opted for General Anaesthesia because I
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- didn't want to know the operation is going on and I would like to sleep
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- through it.
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- That night they gave me a valium to calm my nerves. The next morning I
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- wasn't really fully awake when they wheeled me into the operation theatre.
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- At the operation theatre. I remembered hearing some confusion and the nurse
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- call a name and tapped my shoulder, it didn't sound like my name but I was
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- too tired and just answered "uh" and went back to sleep. The next thing I
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- know I was given this injection and I was really knocked out, I could feel
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- them putting a tube into my throat.
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-
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- The next thing I knew I was in the recovery room and the anesthetist woke me
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- up, calling some name. I didn't really answer then I just opened my eyes
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- and nodded, then went back to sleep again. That afternoon, I woke up and
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- felt some pain in my groin area and asked for some pain killers. I didn't
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- know anything was wrong yet. I asked the nurse who gave me the tablets what
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- time it was - she told me it was 12 noon and that the operation took about
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- 2 hours, I was quite surprised that it took so long as they told me ligation
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- of varicocele would only take half an hour or less. I noticed that something
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- was wrong when I looked around and found that the patients around me were
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- all ladies. I asked the nurse who told me the after such operation - (she
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- didn't tell me exactly what the operation was) - the patient will be
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- transferred to the ladies ward. After some questioning, she mentioned the
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- name on my wrist tag - I took a look and was shocked - that's not my name. I
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- thought about it and everything became clear - that was the name of the TS
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- next to me. You could imagine what went on in my head - initially I was
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- really furious and demanded to see to surgeon. When the surgeon came some
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- time later, he explained for the mistake - the other patient also had a
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- small varicocele on the same side which was ligated. By then my temper had
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- died down and I accepted that what was done had been done, the surgeon told
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- me about several options - another surgery to reconstruct the penis and
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- testis but it would not be the same and I would be infertile, remain as
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- such, or take estrogen and get a breast implant. He also added that it would
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- be easier to lead a more normal female life (sexually) than a reconstruction
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- to lead a life as a male.
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-
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- Now I am really confused as I didn't really mind being a male and never
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- thought of becoming a female until now. A stent is placed in my artificial
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- vagina to keep it patent and I was told that I won't need it if I chose to
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- become a male. I am not taking any estrogen, but still my voice is changing
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- slightly and I noticed loss in facial hair.
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-
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- So am I a neuter now? I often ask myself which do I prefer to stay as I am
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- and remove the vaginal stent, and not take estrogen or testosterone, or to
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- take some action.
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- Confused...
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