NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #27/NN_1992_27.iso/spool/alt/peeves/17510

Text File | 1992-11-22 | 5.2 KB | 116 lines

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Path: sparky!uunet!caen!nic.umass.edu!titan.ucc.umass.edu!jennyg
From: [e-mail] (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Mis-used of turn signals & other stuff
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Sender: [e-mail] (USENET News System)
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
References: <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]>
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 09:28:01 GMT
Lines: 104

In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (CatWoman ) writes:

>
>ObPeeve: Driver's Ed in high-school, conducted in a
>manner that is SURE to turn out timid and/or bad
>drivers - if you've never driven before, and are
>not confident in yourself ANYway, having the usual
>high-school lack of consideration thrown at you is
>SURE to cause problems.
>

Peeve:  Learning to drive.

Now I don't know nothing about no driver's ed classes.  See, I'm
from New York City, and so had no reason to get behind the wheel
of a car until I decided to move to Massachusetts, where a subway
ain't nothing but a sandwich.

Up to this point I had a native New Yorker's view of
transportation:  You stand still & wait.  Eventually a door or a
pair of doors appears in front of you.  At this point you push,
shove and elbow everyone around you until you are on the other
side of the door (If the door is attached to a limousine which
you have hired, you can generally skip the fight & just go
through the door).  You stand or sit amongst a crowd of people
who smell and talk to themselves and are much closer to you than
you would like.  Eventually you push, shove & elbow yourself to
the other side of that same door, and VOILA! you are where you
wanted to be.

But with my acceptance to grad school, it became apparent that I
would soon be in a part of the world where if you want to go
somewhere you actually HAVE TO TRANSPORT YOURSELF.  Therefore, I
had to learn to drive at the tender age of 27.

MajorPeeve:  New York Drivers.  Iowa Dan can rant all he likes
about the lack of driving etiquette in Mass, but compared to New
Yorkers..... My very first driving lesson, my first time behind
the wheel, occurred at about 6:00 PM on a Friday in midtown
Manhattan.

At this point, my prospective in-laws offered to let me stay at
their place in Albany for a week & they'd give me driving
lessons.  Well, specifically, Greg's dad would give me driving
lessons.

ExtremelyMajorPeeve:  Having your prospective father-in-law teach
you to drive.  This is especially peevesome if said prospective
father-in-law is clinically depressed & has been on Prozac for
some time.  It is even more peevesome when said father-in-law is
trying to convince himself that the depression is *not*
biologically based & so decides to experimentally give up the
Prozac for a month, and has been off the stuff for a week at the
time of the first driving lesson.

!Peeve:  Mike was back on Prozac in time to be functional for the
wedding.

BigCarLittlePersonPeeve:  Mike drives a Saab Turbo 9000. It's a
beautiful car.  However, I'm  not used to taking up that much
room.   It took me about a week before I could figure out where
the corners of the care were relative to the sides of the road
and the other cars on the road.

Now Mike LOVES his car.  I'd venture to say he expends more time
and energy on that car than on his sun.  It's an expensive car.
And expensive to repair.  A fact of which I was constantly
reminded.

So picture me, driving along, not knowing exactly *what* space
I'm occupying.  I flounder a bit in my lane and instead of saying
"You're too close to the curb," Mike says "If you hit the
curb, it will cost $800 to have the front end realigned."

Anyway, after a week of driving around & parallel parking, it's
time for me to take my driver's test.  At this point, I've never
been on the highway, but dad thinks it's time that I do.  So I
take I-90 to the DMV in downtown Albany.  At 9:00 in the morning.
The whole trip, Mike is pointing out blind spots and such on the
road & telling me about all the accidents he's seen.

"See the way there's bushes all along the left side of that road.
You can't see anything when you're turning.  I saw some kid in a
86 Corolla, probably just got his license, take that turn too
fast, head-on into a '65 Dart.  Ruined a perfectly beautiful car.
I think the kid died, too.  A real shame about that Dart."

So I get to the DMV and decide to park in the lot & walk around a
bit to let my heart rate return to normal.  I pull into a spot
that is in front of an electrical pole.  There's plenty of room
between me and the pole (I think).  Mike turns to me and says,
"You might want to think about how you're going to get out of
that spot.  I parked like that once, and I backed right into the
pole.  Cost nearly a thousand dollars to get the Volvo repaired."

!Peeve:  I passed the test.  And ever since, I have refused to
drive the car if Mike in it, near it or even in the same state.

Jenny "Call me a cab, thanks" Gutbezahl
--
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[e-mail] is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more