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Text File | 1996-01-26 | 39.2 KB | 2,413 lines |
- Hi there. How's it hanging?
- Ah young man. Should you be in this vicinity?
- Yes Tate's ordered a security check
- I've lost the guided tour party
- I was not informed of such an exercise
- Well it was top secret. Tate's instructions
- That I can understand. Tate's a glorious leader. Strong. Dependable
- Yet with an intriguing boyish quality
- Tate? Boyish?
- Yeah I can see that
- Yes. But you probably can't see him the way I do
- With his svelte figure and roguish grin
- Well it takes all sorts
- You can! And I thought I was the only one
- When Tate smiles ahh the butterflies in my stomach
- Well I do get a sensation in my stomach. But the're not butterflies
- Then they must be angels singing his praises
- Well er..Hey is that the time?
- Guided tour party?
- Yeh to see the sights. Smell the smells
- Didn't you know?
- Smell? What could there be to smell
- Well your enchanting perfume for starters
- Oh I say you teaser you
- Well hey charm is my middle name
- Ah if only I were twenty years younger and you were two foot taller
- So could you let me through the door?
- If only I could my petal. But I have my orders
- Hey that's the way it goes
- No. I was not informed
- Isn't it always the same?
- Sadly I believe you are right
- Hey it happens all the time
- Could I get past?
- No. Now run along young man
- Yeah no problem
- Still standing on guard?
- I'm sorry young man but I'm under orders not to speak to anyone
-
-
-
- Hey you're a ger-ger-gorilla!
- Griller? What are you trying to say? I'm a frier and boiler too
- Sorry my mistake. So what's cooking?
- Jee! That's an old joke
- Of course the hat's a dead giveaway
- Tate said let them eat cake so that's what I'm baking
- How would you know shortstuff?
- You can do anything when you've got the right hat
- Cake? Is that it?
- Hey my height is in inverse proportion to my cool
- Aren't qualifications important?
- Sure cake's nutritional. We have it for breakfast, lunch
- dinner, supper and as a special treat on birthday's too
- That's all you can cook isn't it?
- Don't you get bored just cooking cake?
- Hasn't anyone ever complained?
- Yeah I lied during my interview
- Who can get bored cooking cake? I like cooking cake
- Currant cake..sponge cake..cream cake..steak cake..lovely
- Would you complain?
- Only from a distance by post
- Weren't you worried you'd be found out?
- So who's gonna sack me?
- Steak cake?
- Sure..Steak cake for non vegetarians
- You still wouldn't be safe. I'd send a punch by air mail
- Now scat kid. Cakes don't make themselves and I'm busy
- Yeah you're so cool I could bake cakes in you
- Hey how come everyone gives me abuse?
- You've just got one of those faces
- I've always got the job when I've worn the right hat
- I really think there could be other reasons
- Yeah it must be my sunny personality
- You're probably right
- Hmmm I don't think so
- That's just your opinion
- I'm always right. Everyone agrees with me
- Then it's time you were re-educated shortstuff
- Yeah but it's one that everyone shares
- Hey cookie it's me again!
- Yeah I could arrange it so you weren't me no longer
- Hey I get the message. See you round
-
-
-
- Hey Prof how you doing?
- Ah Bud you've caught me in the middle of an experiment
- An experiment?
- Have you found a way to escape?
- Sorry Prof I don't have time to chat
- Yes I have calculated the trajectory of the dust motes in the
- room and have come to a fascinating conclusion
- Will this help us escape?
- Yes..and?
- No. But it will solve the problem of cleaning behind wardrobes
- Hey that's great Prof. Catch you later
- Didn't you invent something to do that?
- Ja my perpetual motion cleaning machine, but once I set it
- running I could not catch it again
- That's the way it goes Prof
- No that was the way it went
- Catch you later Prof
- That the motion of the dust affects the flight of
- butterflies in the Amazon basin. Possibly
- That's great Prof
- What about escaping?
- Why would butterflies want to escape from the Amazon?
- No reason. I'll catch you later
- Ja it is good to have time to think
- So I'll leave you to it
- Nein. The room is escape proof apart from that conveniently
- sized air vent. Though I do have an idea
- Hey great Prof what is it?
- Using the wave/particle duality theory wherein a photon
- of light exists in two places at the same time, all we have to
- do is produce an indeterminate state whereby we exist on either
- side of this locked door. Then the us on the other side of the
- door make good their escape. Quite simple really
- That's great Prof. You work on it
- Have you found a way to escape?
- Nein. I have been reminiscing about the olden days
- Oh? Such as?
- Then I'll leave you to it
- Such as the time I took the theoretical particle research
- chair at Heidelberg university
- Hey that was prestigious!
- Ja but it only lasted until the lecturer's legs got tired and
- then I was made to bring it back
- I'll catch the rest later Prof
- Hey I'd love to hear more!
- It was at Heidelberg that I discovered a new particle with
- extraordinarily peculiar characteristics
- So what did you call it?
- It was called the Quirk and it had five possible states or
- flavours..Up..Down..Strawberry..Bob..And walrus
- You aren't just making this up?
- I'd love to stay but I've work to do
- Nein this is all entirely true. Though my discovery was disputed
- by Professor Handelbach who claimed that I had merely a dirty
- microscope and that the quirks were crumbs from a week old egg
- sandwich
- This is fascinating
- I've gotta go Prof. I'll catch you later
- Ja there is so much more. Did I ever tell about the..
- Hey Prof I've work to do. Gotta split
- Hey Prof I'm back!
- Ja this is indisputably true, even in a strict Einsteinian sense
- What does that mean?
- But I've got to go again
- Einstein postulated that everything is relative. You are back
- but only relative to a subjective point on the space time
- continuum
- Gee I never thought of that
- But was Einstein right?
- Ja but then you did invent the chocolate and anchovy pizza
- a work of genius I might add
- Hey thanks Prof
- Not at all. A fascinating combination of the major food
- groups. It was a truly inspired invention
- Have you thought of a way to escape?
- Hey Prof I'd better get going
- Ja but it involves manipulating dimensions four to seven
- in order to pass through the molecules of the door
- Can you do it?
- I think I'll look for another way
- Ja with three pounds of plutonium and access to a particle
- accelerator. Oh and a small egg whisk
- Ja about this. But not about the whoopee cushion
- Whoopee cushion?
- I think I'll hear this story later
- Ja. During the UnAmerican Activities hearings in 1952 he
- thought he would enliven proceedings by placing a whoopee
- cushion under Senator McCarthy's seat
- And did it help?
- Nein though it made me chuckle
- Well I've gotta run Prof. Catch you later
- Hey Prof I've been on Tate's submarine
- Ja? Very interesting. Then we must be near the sea. Or a very
- large pond
- So have you found a way to escape?
- Could we use the submarine to escape?
- Nein. Though I have discovered a new type of mould
- that could prove to be a cure for baldness
- Really? You mean it makes the hair grow back?
- Nein. You wear it on your head like a wig
- That's great Prof. I'll leave you to it
- Nein. It would be missed too easily. Unless..
- Unless what Prof?
- Well it was worth a try
- Unless we create a replica using pieces of string and a
- large washing up liquid bottle
- Great plan Prof. I'll get right on it
- I'm not really sure that would work
- Ja you are probably right. It would be difficult to find
- a washing up liquid bottle the size of a submarine
- Yeah right Prof. Catch you later
- Hey Prof I've done it! We can escape
- Excellent work Bud! That means we shall not need plan R
- Plan R Prof?
- Ja. Plan R whereby we escape through a space/time vortex
- created using everyday household appliances
- No Prof we just leave via the door
- But what about the guards?
- Distracted by a dancing dug
- Then lead on to freedom Bud
- Sure thing Prof!
- I've almost everything needed to escape
- Excellent work Bud. While I wait I shall use the time to
- think about a vexing problem
- Okay Prof I'll be back soon
- A problem Prof?
- Ja. It is about the space telescope. It must have difficulty
- refocusing on objects that are near from those that are not
- So..?
- So I propose a giant set of bifocal spectacles to be attached
- to the front of the telescope
- That's a great idea Prof. I'll be back later
- Excellent. Then I still have time to design the frames for the
- telescope. Do you think horn rimmed would be suitable?
- Sure thing Prof. I'll catch you later
- So let's get out of here
- First things first. Insert smart card. Here goes
- Well that was easy. To bad we couldn't withdraw any money
- Next is the voice recognition system
- Hey this is too easy Prof!
- Ja the security system does seem flawed. Perhaps I could design
- a new one
- Maybe later Prof. Next we have the nasal recognition system
- Watch this
- TaaDaa!
- Ja very impressive
- Let's go Prof. We still have to stop Dick Tate's evil plans
- Ja I agree. I presume this is the method of egress
- Mind your elbow Prof
- That is not my elbow Bud
- Oh?
- Nein. It is my favourite antique slide rule
- Fresh air! Freedom!
- It is indeed sweet Bud
- But wait Prof! Look at the park
- Mein Gott! Dick Tate has fulfilled his nefarious plan
- Then we've still got work to do!
- Let's go to the Hotel spendid Prof and plan what to do
- An excellent idea Bud
- What's happening! Where's the hotel?
- It would appear that this is Tate's new centre of operations
- Then we've got to get inside somehow professor
- I agree entirely Bud
-
-
-
- Wow it's a video arcade!
- Hey you're not a Tate employee!
- I'm Tate's personal pizza delivery agent
- Sure I am. The uniform just wouldn't fit
- Tate is an equal opportunities employer
- So where's your pizza?
- Now that I could believe. They don't do extra small
- Yeah but short spotty kids with bad haircuts..?
- I'm just going round taking the orders
- I've just delivered it
- In my pocket. It's a small pizza
- We can have pizza! It'll sure make a change from cake
- So why you hanging around? Beat it pizza boy
- It'll be a small fluffy pizza by now
- Hey I get the hint. See you guys
- So what'll it be? Regular? Anchovies? Spicy?
- Almond with lot's of icing and currants
- Are you sure about this?
- Sure with extra cream right?
- Sounds good I'll get right on to it
- That's the way cook always makes pizza
- Really? We can have extra cream!
- I'll have to get the recipe
- No problem. Extra cream freshly whipped
- I'll be back as quick as I can
- So it's just as well you don't wear a hat
- What is it about my height?
- I compute a 93% probability of sarcasm
- I wouldn't worry over such a small problem
- Only 93%? I must be slipping
- Gee you're a great comfort
- Hey go and bother someone else. I get bored with banality
- Just the way Tate likes them
- Our glorious leader has impeccable taste
- So I'll just be off delivering thanks for your time
- Hey don't look at me. It's in the charter
- I guess I'll just have to reread it sometime
- So what are you guys up to?
- What's that readout over there?
- So what's the spinning globe for?
- That's privileged information. Now get out of the
- way there's important work being done
- How's the work going?
- Sorry I'm too busy to talk right now
- Yeah I can tell
-
-
-
- So, you may have cheated a fate worse than death at the snout of my aardvark
- but I still have plans for you..Bud Tucker
- Excuse me, but do I know you?
- I am your worst nightmare..
- No..
- My worst nightmare is standing buck naked in a field full of frisky antelopes.
- I was speaking metaphysically
- Actually, you were speaking metaphorically
- If you were speaking metaphysically, you would be using telepathy
- Enough! You would do well not to anger me, fool!
- For I am Lord Richard Tate, Ruler of the Universe!
- Sorry, should I be impressed?
- Quiet, Bud! He's obviously insane!
- Me, insane! Hahahahahahahahaha. But enough. Now I have a captive audience..
- Now I have a captive audience, I will tell you of my plans
- What is it with him Prof? Bullied at school or a bed wetter?
- I was born to rule this planet
- Ever since I was a child, I knew I was to fufil a great destiny
- All of my life has been in preparation for this day!
- The lonliness, the unrequited love, the amusingly shaped nose..
- Ah, yes, I can see it all now
- I said I'm not interested, buddy
- So you can imagine my glee when I read the Professor's article
- on cloning in "Crazy Scientist Weekly." Here was the answer!
- You mean you've used my Duotronic Replicator
- to create thousands of clones of yourself
- who as we speak, are ready to overthrow every major world power?
- No. But thank you for providing me with a back-up plan
- Nice work, Prof
- Sorry, Bud
- Where was I?..cloning..here was the answer..ah yes
- I read the Professor's article about cloning with great interest
- With one fateful phonecall I learned that you machine was complete
- Pausing only to concoct an audacious plan
- We made haste to your laboratory to steal your machine
- How unfortunate you where home, Professor
- Yes, well that's where I usually am when I'm not out
- My scientists have adjusted the Duotronic Replicator, improved it!
- Now, I can clone living beings!
- But that's impossible! The brain is simply too complex to copy effectively!
- Precisely! All clones created are automatons
- Devoid of all reasoning and intelligence
- A clean slate upon which I can write a new personality!
- A personality with an in-built love of their Creator, Dick Tate!
- Excuse me, Dicky, but is this going anywhere?
- I mean, I've got things I could be doing. You know, like flossing my teeth...
- Mock all you will, Bud Tucker
- ..clipping my toe-nails..
- Silence!
- ..trimming my nostril hair..
- Silence! You must listen to me! I am important!
- I AM A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON! PEOPLE VALUE MY OPINION! PEOPLE LIKE ME!
- PEOPLE LAUGH WITH ME, NOT AT ME!
- Calm down, boss.
- Yes..Sorry..So, you see, Bud Tucker, all of your efforts have been wasted!
- The world will be mine! And all those cats!
- Their suffering will become legendary! Come Norris, Destiny awaits! Hahahahahaha!
- Jeez! Talk about megalomania! Okay Prof, we've got to escape
- Ja, Bud. But how?
- I agree his mind is tormented Bud, I feel sorry for him
-
-
-
- Any ideas how we can escape?
- Ja. We have three options
- Okay. What are they?
- Option 1..We could use psychokinetic power to vibrate the ropes
- on a sub atomic level, thus causing a small but powerful nuclear explosion
- destroying the ropes, and everything in a three mile radius!
- Erm..Maybe we should try option 2
- Okay, how do we do that?
- Firstly, we must wait for our DNA to mutate,
- lifting us to the next stage of human evolution
- thus granting us extraordinary psychic abilities
- It's a good plan, Prof, but we don't have that much time
- What were the other options?
- Option 2..I could pretend to be ill
- You call the guard, then when he comes to check up on me
- you slug him over the head, thus rendering him unconscious!
- Okay! Let's go for it!
- Oog, Ag! I am ill! Help me! Please direct me to the hospital!
- Uarghghghg! Eurg!
- Okay Prof, I think you can stop the act. He's not coming
- Eurgh! I believe that saurkraut was past it's sell-by date..Ag! Oh hmm..
- Well it seemed like a good idea!
- Nice try, Prof, but I think we should think about option 3
- I don't think it'll work, Prof
- Huh! They said my electric haddock attractor would never work!
- But Prof, it didn't!
- Well, that's a matter of opinion..
- Look, Tate's getting away! Now, what was your third idea?
- Oh, it's crazy! It'll never work!
- Yeah, you're probably right
- What? You doubt my ability?
- Sorry, Prof, but we're in deep trouble here. We need a solution fast
- Well, we could always use my laser watch..
- Your..Laser watch?
- Ja! My laser watch!
- You see Bud, it's a portable, highly powerful nuclear powered laser cannon
- I could use the beam to sever our bonds
- Oh go on, Prof
- Okay. We hide
- We..hide?
- Ja! Then, when the guard comes in, he sees we're not here
- and in the confusion, we slip away!
- Uh..No thanks, Prof. I kinda like the way my face is
- Haaah..Then I'm all out of ideas. Unless...!
- Yes?
- We use my laser watch!
- Ah...I'm not sure, Prof
- What is it? Do you doubt my marksmanship?
- Well..No..But..
- Okay! Stand back! Oh..Okay, brace yourself!
- Power to Turbines!
- Increase laser output to 20%!
- Inertial Shock Dampeners on-line!
- Increase laser output to 40%!
- Check medical insurance!
- Initiate Power Transfer!
- Increase laser output to 100%!
- Fire!
- Uh, Prof..?
- Free! Good work, Prof!
- Ja. Thank you
- That's a great invention
- Ja. We have much to thank the Taiwan Laser Watch Company for
- Now, let's stop Tate!
- Okay, let's do it!
- Sorry Prof, but even Tate's goons aren't that stupid
- Haaah..Well, we could always use my laser watch..
- Your..Laser watch?
- Ja! My laser watch! You see, Bud, it's a portable, highly powerful nuclear
- powered laser cannon. I could use the beam to sever our bonds
- Okay! Let's do it!
- Right! Okay! You go hide behind the lion, I'll hide behind the shelves!
- Uh..
- Oh
- Hey! Look prof, maybe we can get out via this air vent!
- Sorry Bud, I'm scared of air vents
- You're scared of air vents?
- Ja. Ever since I was a small child
- Sorry, Bud, it's a job that you alone can do
- See if you can find a way out then come back for me. Here, take my watch
- Why would I want that?
- So you will know when it's dinner time
- That's your problem, always thinking about food
- Yes, but if you press this button here, you can create a huge magnetic field
- Hasn't all the laser charge been used?
- Why would I want to create a magnetic field?
- I don't know. I just thought it might come in handy
- Okay. Thanks prof. Tell me something..
- Sure, what?
- Is there anything this watch doesn't do?
- Ja, it doesn't tell the time
- It stopped at five past twelve fifteen years ago
- Thanks prof!
- Good luck Bud
- I don't find that a problem. Now hurry, Bud, times's running out
- Looks like I'll have to go it alone
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- Hey! Lola's matches from Big Al's bar
- This should help me find my way around
- It's a bar of Sud-U-Like soap. My favourite!
- Ouch! They're not as safe as they look
- They're alright if you pull them quickly
- The Gidyun book of fish. There's one in every hotel room
- It's the Daily Yak
- The tastiest sticky bun I've ever seen
- Just an average iron bucket
- I should catch something with this
-
- Mmmmm! Made with 100% something or other
- Billy G's Sounds of the Seventies! Cool!
- A genuine Barryville dollar piece
- I'd hate to imagine what these were used for
- Lobsters really live in these things?
- I think it's smiling at me
- Hey! Aren't branches fractal objects or something?
- It's twice as long as half it's length
- Fashion disaster alert!
- Well it's an improvement I suppose
- Boudicea's skates. You can see where the wheel spikes went
- A commemoration of Olaf Particle and his wrestling prawns
- This is great for executive stress relief
- A teabag that is completely water proof. Neat!
- You could use this to see in the dark
- It's a good likeness but not of me
- Not bad huh? 10 out 10 for inventiveness
- The tropical chainsaw fish. A very rare species
- Just an average iron bucket..With water in
- This should get me places
- I'll treasure this for ever and ever
- This is not your ordinary everyday digital watch
- I guess it's some kind of electronic key
- This smells of rum. No wonder that guy was asleep
- It's empty now. Oh well
- You know this reminds me of my old headmaster
- Bertrand Tepid "Gargles Beethoven's greatest hits". Cool
- It has state of the art buttons and things but no battery
- Well the tape doesn't appear to be turning..
- It's working but there's still something missing
- Testing. One. Two. Hey it works!
- I wonder if someone actually has a nose like this?
- Here's the key to a cupboard. It's a cupboard key
- This is a safe key. But safe from what?
- I've never seen a Dug dance. This should be good
- Wow a pink thing! This'll replace my blue thing
- I can only think of a few uses for one of these
- Well it's a certainly a lot smaller
- It's power to the people
- It's tuned to the weather station
- Without batteries? It won't work
- It's a space hopper with a deflated ego
- We could go places with this
- The hula girl pizza company. The're my rivals!
- One of these rang me once. It was a crank call
- Pink chewing gum? Who left this here?
- I hope I never meet the owner of this
- Hey! This is almost as sharp as me
- A can of my least favourite beverage
- Hmm now what could we use this for?
- I'd like to see the chopper fly without this
- A washer handcrafted in solid steel
- The cuckoo seems to have fled the nest
- Shhh you shouldn't disturb nesting birds
- A fanless fan? Very useful
- Hey how ingenious!
- Who makes these things?
- Now what could I use these for?
- Glue that'll stick anything, can I get the top off?
- A scared chicken isn't that an oxymoron or something?
- These were gloves at first sight
- Nail. Nine inches. What else do you need to know?
- The greatest roller skate ever made. Honest
- I really don't think it would suit
- There's a head shaped dent in it
- These look familiar
- I've always wondered why they call it pool
- A stick of white chalk. This reminds me of school
- Big. Red. Full of Air. Just like an old teacher of mine
- You know what they say about cuckoos? No me neither
- You ever wondered about the size of my pockets?
- I don't think Ms. Cluck is going to miss this
- What's with all this unstylish clothing?
- A clothes peg? Well it could prove useful
- Don't fish ever use deodorant?
- And people wear these as trousers?
- Don't they usually flock together?
- Don't eat it! I don't want to go to that dentist
- Hey! Now I'm a real yuppy
- I wonder what's happening in the world?
- It's a complimentary book of matches
-
-
- A medicine cabinet of curiosities
- Hey! A tea-chest of drawers!
- I don't think it's been washed in months
- Yuk! It has more rings than Saturn
- *R
- I wouldn't want to sleep in that
- It seems happy, but you can never tell with elephants
- An original copy of some guy's painting
- I'm sure something moved in there
- She's probably been here for years
- An ancient ceremonial crown of kings long gone
- *E
- There's some tempting wares on display
- I wouldn't risk going in there
- *M
- It looks dark and foreboding down there
- I think we're being watched
- I'd like to see the cake that was in there
- Even swag bags have to be washed sometime
- It leads back to the hotel room
- They've been thrown away for a good reason
- I guess this is where the flour is kept
- A guy could get paranoid about this
- Cake? Soap? Well why not?
- They look so happy together
- It's a pity that there's no sticky buns in there
- It looks like it's in full working order
- Apparently it's a delicacy
- There's bread a baking in there
- This was fresh from the oven last week
- I guess this is where the baker pounds his dough
- Hey! this baker uses a lot of flour
- Do you think I could get out this way?
- *E
- *E
- It's a way out of here
- *E
- *E
- A seedy rundown bar with peanuts
- I guess you get all sorts in here
- Staff only. Perhaps we should get a job here
- What? After we spent so long getting in?
- I can't think what those cakes are doing here
- A reminder of the Birdman of Alcafraz
- The conditions in here aren't very sanitary
- It's a superfly for a superfly guy
- The mysterious rainbow trout
- It's not a barrel of laughs but a barrel of worms
- *E
- Wow! A five speed quadraphonic SupaBlasta
- Black leather. Wicked!
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- I'm not going back in there
- There doesn't seem to be a queue
- I wouldn't want his job
- *E
- It's covered in the dentist's tools
- *E
- *E
- They suck your soul out, and you have to wait four minutes
- A sponge for a counter? Cool!
- Well it is quicker by drain
- *E
- I think that's someone's home
- A monument to Bob Connor whoever he is
- It's an ordinary stand pipe made from zinc
- A sprinkler I think. Gardening's not my scene
- It's a pot plant. What more can I say
- *E
- *E
- It's seems to be set for lunch
- *E
- *M
- It's mans best inflatable friend
- I don't think I'll get in that way
- Do you know who invented the roller door? Me neither
- Fin's ain't what they used to be for this shark
- Extremely useful things. Probably
- It's a ladder down to a trawler
- *E
- *M
- They always hover when you read a newspaper
- *M
- *M
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- Woah Spooky or what?
- *E
- It's a way back to the antechamber
- Tate's a real egomaniac
- *E
- At least some things never change
- It's an Edison original
- Wooden. Square. It's either the counter or the shopkeeper
- *E
- It needs some serious dusting
- He's certainly seen better days
- *E
- *E
- Hey it's a brick counter. So what?
- Brimming with goods. It's a shame I don't like DIY
- They're special pun saws
- It seems to be missing something I wonder why?
- *E
- Just your average dentistry laser cannon
- It's a hole in a useless hose
- *E
- What great brushwork!
- I think I can see a train in the distance
- Now this is art that I can relate to
- Hey! It leads back to Seedy street. So what?
- Is this a way in?
- A window cleaner's platform. For window cleaners
- *E
- *E
- Go this way to get out of here
- It's a white knuckle ride to the ground floor
- An open skylight? Hmmm
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- *E
- You'd get square eyes watching this
- Just press for Channel One
- Press to watch Channel Two
- Button. Push. Channel Three. Okay?
- On and Off. Just like that
- *E
- *E
- I don't think it'll work
- Hmm. The cleaners need to pay a visit
- Hey. That guy's initials get everywhere
- I guess Tate must start them young
- *E
- It's an important monitor
- *E
- Woah! It's an altar to Tate's greatness
- He seems to be enjoying himself
- *E
- Spot the lie
- *E
- Well it's different to last time
- *E
- *M
- Hey great view!
- Exciting composition or what?
- Steps down into the depths of the earth
- I'd strongly advise going that way
- *E
- Hey what happened to his face?
- He should see an orthodontist
- I guess Tate's not an art lover
- Does bad clothing have a long half life?
- There just isn't the same variety is there?
- I guess the're not speaking to each other
- Woah what happened here?
- Gee and I thought it was run down before
- It's still staff only
- What you really want to go back to Seedy street?
- Hey! Who watches the watchtower?
- It's tacky. It's tasteless. I love it
- Tate's not a big Bob Connor fan
- I wonder if the're hardy perennials?
- Woah a major nuclear project right here in Barryville
- *M
- He's certainly seen better days
- *M
- It's not environmentally friendly is it?
- There's an idea for a sequel! Treasure Island Bud Tucker
- It's square. It's brown. It's a box
- Well it's different
- What composition! What style! A masterpiece
- Back to the overworld away from here
- It's a dark dank yet strangely mysterious tunnel
- *M
- *E
- It's lost weight since last time
- It's one of those plot device air vents
- *E
- I guess this is where they dump their junk
- It's left end of the tunnel
- It's the right end of the tunnel
- *E
- *E
- *E
- Hey this corridor continues further
- It's seems like quite a walk
- It's a mean lean green submarine
- *E
- It's a large red number three. Could be significant
- *E
- Walk this way back to the subway tunnel
- Ah how sweet I don't think
- The're just your average wooden bunk beds
- *E
- *E
- Hey! It's a genuine antique. Possibly
- It's back to the top of the corridor
- Woah! Cool plant
- This'll get your whites really white
- It's a cerebrally challenged waiter
- *E
- *E
- This must be the heart of Tate's operation
- *E
- Over the ocean blue back to the docks
- It's round. It's a hole. It must be a way in
- Don't these guys realise that green submarines suck?
- *E
- So this is where Tate gets his ideas
- It's round. It's a hole. It must be a way out
- *E
- *E
- Hey! I think something's trapped in there
- Woah! Computer games!
- *E
- It's all done with mirrors you know
- Just what is it with these tentacles?
- *E
- It's a Watt and Pritney 60cc submarine engine
- A button. Gee I wonder what would happen if I pressed it?
- Look it's a very unexciting cupboard. Okay?
- You can't tune a piano but you can tuna fish
- It leads back to the docks
- *E
- Doesn't anyone do cans of coke?
- It's one of those dark mysterious tunnels
- *E
- Hi-Tech. Plastic. It's some sort of security terminal
- *E
- *E
- Grey. Boring. Let's look at something exciting
- Hey! It's the captain's chair. Now where's the captain's log?
- A portrait of the captain's mom
- This Tate guy likes his luxuries
- Ugly. Mean. It's a good likeness
- Why are they called French windows? Perhaps it's the accent
- *E
- *M
- It'll get us off the trawler
- It's an oxygen bottle
-
-
-
-
- Hey! How'd you describe a door
- A way out of this place
- Gee I can't think where this leads
- It's a doorway obviously
- It's a strange rectangular hole of some kind
- Door. Go through door. It's real easy
- I'd have to check the map
- What? After all the trouble it took getting inside
- I only wish it were that easy
- I'll have to find the exit first
- Let's get back to the mall first
- You really want to leave this place?
- Hey why not stay here and mellow out?
- I agree let's find the exit
- That'll be easy when we find the exit
- So you don't feel like staying here?
-
-
- It's the hotel rules
- No jelly juggling after midnight
- Trout tickling strictly forbidden
- No licking the walls between meals
- Camels must be kept on a leash
- Standing on one leg is strictly forbidden
- Rubbing lemon sorbet into the bedsheets is forbidden
- Turtles must only be turned clockwise on Saturday
- Cress must not be grown on the bath towels
- There is no calling the cleaner Arthur
- All legumes must be handed over at reception
-
-
- Hmm Let's see..What is it the professor wants?
- A wind machine
- A land sailboard. Strange
- One match
- An inflated bladder. Bizarre
- One example of domestic fowl
- A sharp point of some description
- One tray or similar
- A clockwork mechanism
- Gloves. Two
- One Bowling ball
- A tube
- Hula girl outfits (medium)
- One empty pizza box
- Well this shouldn't prove too difficult
-
-
- Look in the dictionary under "cool", and you'll find a picture of me
- Well, by the apron and the smell, I'd guess he was a baker
- I've seen some shady guys in my time, but this guy's the Duke of Dubious...
- What bold use of colour! What challenging concepts! The guy's a genius!
- Quick! Call the zoo! Tell them one of their gorillas has escaped!
- Wow, what a babe! I'm in love...
- A Bunny Boy? Well, I suppose this is the age of equality
- A regular beat cop. The kind that would beat you. Regularly
- This guy looks familiar...
- Proof that God didn't make man in his own image
- Obviously one of Barryville's friendlier residents
- He looks like a real salty sea dog. Smells like one too
- An intelligent, attentive guy... not!
- A real cool soul brother
- Woah, a serial killer!
- This guy's one of Barryville's more normal residents
- Gee, what a sweet old lady!
- This guy is the High Priest of Hobo. And he's got really bad body odour!
- Well, he looks the part...
- He looks like Vera, just a couple of steps further up the evolutionary scale
- There must be one great story in there...
- Well, he's in the right place...
- A high class street vendor. Remind me to count my teeth before I go
- Some sort of strange gigantic brain type thing
- Wormus Wriggilus I think
- As always, ice cool and every inch the hero
- Argh! Bigfoot in a dress!
- I guess she's never seen a dug dance...
- A mountain with legs!
- What is it with bad guys and stupid uniforms?
- Is it just me, or is that a 300 pound gorilla in a hat?
- Industrious kinda guy
- Imprisonment haven't affected the Prof. Still as craz- er..inspired as ever
-
-
- Hey, I know I look good, but this isn't really gonna get us anywhere, is it?
- Woah! This guy's got serious problems! And I don't mean his weight!
- He seems like a responsible citizen
- They seem to start shopping earlier every year...
- This guy was weird before Tate got to him!
- Has Royston been cloned? No! There's no way anyone could reproduce that smell!
- I thought he'd have retired by now
- The prof learnt all he knows from Einstein. Stanley Einstein from Bootle
- What is it with bad guys and stupid uniforms?
- Hmm...I've seen this guy somewhere before...
- Grunt won the "Sychophantic Gameshow Host" Award six times running!
- Hey, it's the King!
- Wow, a regal Egyptian babe!
- Nice dress, dude
- I don't see anything. Oh! You mean those inconspicuous store detectives!
- This guy proves Darwin's Theory...
- I suppose this guy only gets out at weekends...
- Somebody give this guy a job. He oozes talent! Well, I hope it's talent...
- Hey, what a sweet kid...
- Woah, that's one chick I wouldn't mess with!
- Seen one chicken waiting for dental treatment, you've seen 'em all
- Hey, I know 70's chic is cool, but being a 70 year old geek..?
-
-
- Sorry, I can't do that
- That's impossible
- I see reality has eluded you. Again
- Next!
- You want me to do what?
- Hey, that sounds surreal
- Try something else
- I'm calling the men in the white coats!
- Nurse!
- You're totally insane, dude
- Uh-huh..
- It's a good thing I've enough brains for both of us
- Excuse me?
- Hey buddy, try this one: Use brain to think of sensible suggestion
-
-
- Open is a tricky concept
- Just as well I have the brains and you have the looks
- I can't see a handle
- I see no way to open it
- The lights are on but know ones at home
- All these pointless suggestions
- Do you play computer games often?
- Aw, gimme a break..
-
-
- Close what? There's nothing open
- Try something else
- May I suggest an alternative use of our time
- Are you feeling all right?
- Why don't you close your mouth?
- I can't close that
- Yeah, right
- Any more bright ideas?
- Er... No
- I guess they only let you out at weekends
- How could I do that?
- Any more suggestions like that and I'll have you committed
- That's a stupid idea
-
-
- No, I'll keep it for now
- I'll keep that
- I'm gonna save it for later
- I'm not giving that away
- I'm not giving away all of my goodies
- My need is greater than their's
- I'm gonna hold on to that
- Let's not be too generous
- No, I might have use of it later
- That's not a good idea, I should keep it
- That's too useful to give away
- I don't think I could live without it
- It's not Christmas, I'll keep it
- I'll hang on to it for now
- Try something else
- I don't think my gift would be appreciated
-
-
- I can't carry that around
- It's not my type
- What did you last servant die of?
- I can't pick that up
- Come off it
- Do you really think I need it to find the Professor?
- I really don't need it
- What would I need that for?
- No way! You want it, you get it
- Hey man, take my advice: stay off the drugs
- The Caffeine must be making you hyper active
- You've flipped
- I don't need it
- I'm not a kleptomaniac!
- I'd better not
- Pick that up? No way!
-
-
- That's going nowhere
- I can't move that!
- Where would you want me to put it?
- I don't want to, Okay?
- That would be pointless
- I'm a kid, not a removal man
- It's not in my job description
- I can't move that.
- It's fine where it is
- Get a life...
- I don't fancy touching it
- Move it where?
- It's not my place to rearrange things
- Moving that wouldn't solve our problems
- Would moving that really help us find the Professor?
-
-
-
- Hey it looks cleaner already
- That was quite a trip
- This should provoke a response
- Now what could we do with this?
- Woah! My life is complete
- Great! It's not exactly four star
- Now I enjoyed doing that
- Bizarre plot device huh!?
- I don't think he can hear
- Hey I'm in the guild!
- Let's go put this to use
- Hole in one!
- This'll go toward the deposit on a sports car
- I think I need shades!
- Hey this is quite a pad!
- Don't try this at home kids
- Neat job huh?
- Great lateral thinking huh?
- And I have to put this into my pocket?
- I don't think he even noticed
- Sshh..This'll be a surprise
- That was like taking candy from a baby
- The magnetic field was stronger than I thought
- Why did I get out of bed this morning?
- This should have some effect on the crew
- Hey an instant life preserver
- It looks like a key of some sort
- Hey this is embarrassing but I can't swim
- At least clockwork is environmentally friendly
- This will save me getting wet
- That water must have been ultra hot
- And for my next trick
- Well it wasn't dignified but I got the card
- We have power!
- Another top ten hit recorded
- Gee they seem hypnotised by the Dug's syncopated rhythm
- Hey I should be a cat burglar
- I guess it's the wrong key
- It's an outrageous fashion statement
- Well this shouldn't pose any problems
- Let's get the professor and get out of here
- Hey why not?
- It's as good a way as any
- Escape through the air vent? What a great plan
- Look are you really sure about this?
- Hey not while they're watching
- Gee Tate's very security minded
- Hey they have some use after all!
- This watch sure is useful. Pity it's stopped
- Let's go!
- Why don't they design bigger lifts
- Now it's as good as new
- I think we'll take the train next time
- Hey! It's jammed stuck
- It just won't open
- I'll be saving someone pain
- Hey! We're locked out
- This isn't going anywhere
- Hey! Comedy slapstick!
- Going down!
- There must be an easier way to save the world
- That was shocking!
- Woah! I ain't going no further dude! That muzak sucks
- If silence was golden I'd be rich!
- Now down to business!
- Hey! I don't want to wear something so unfashionable
- I'm only doing this because everyone else is wearing one
- Woah! I'm taking the coat off before going out there
- Let's see what happens now..
- It's locked. Typical criminal mastermind
- Hey it's almost as good as new
- Hey! Where'd the cuckoo go?
- Well that's the museum open again
- What strange behaviour
- What a couple of bozos
- Hey I think I got it dirty again
- Stand back! Clear the area!
- Woah! No way am I going down there!
- Well okay. Just don't tell anyone I did this
-
-
-
-