#1. Shove it up your rectal passage.%2. Play it very loud at 2 am to annoy your brother/sister/wife/parents
etc."3. Copy it off your brother (if he
has it)"4. Bring it to school with you and have it ceremoniously dipped in
Hydrochloric acid.
5. Take it back to the shop and#demand a refund because it is crap.
6. Use it as a bookmark.
7. Give it to your!girlfriend/boyfriend/worst enemy.#8. Bury it six feet below ground in
the local park.$9. Sell it to a poor deaf boy in the
street. 10. Send it to me. (at 535A Yarm#Road, Eaglescliffe, Cleveland TS16
9BH)
10 things Jaz X has had a sexual
relationship with
1. A sheep called Geraldine#2. Vanessa Paradis (That is why the
Editor is so jealous) 3. Bolton Wanderers FC. (all 11)#4. The third tree on the right near"the school running track (several times)#5. A black and white Tabby cat whos
name (I think) is Fluffles
6. 1/4 lb of Dolly mixture.%7. The blond haired extra in Home and
Away who is always in the diner. 8. My Grandads golfing umbrella. 9. The telephone reciever at the
local pub.
10. 6 king size tubs of extra
blubbery Vaseline.
%4 Embarrasing situations to be caught
in...
!1. When the Biology teacher finds$you, your friend, and two people of the opposite sex giggling and#laughing behind a bush on a school
field trip.$2. When yo realise, in the middle of
the lesson after P.E. that you # have forgotton to put your pants
back on after P.E.$3. When tou phone up your Girlfriend
and say "Darling I know we've " been having a rough time lately#but I really want to make it up to
you." and her father says
"Thankyou, but she's out at the
moment."#4. When your mother comes in, early"in the morning to wake you up, and$ she finds you asleep on the floor beside your bed with no clothes on, and somebody elses Pyjama trousers / boxer shorts wrapped
around your head.
"6 things that are on my bed at the
moment.
$1. My pillows. (And the pillow cases on them.)%2. This piece of paper. (Although you
will probably read this on a
computer screen.)#3. A plate, which had my supper on.
4. A folder full of paper and
drawings. (etc)"5. My pencil case. (Well, a kitkat
pencil tin.) 6. The Junior Pears Encyclopedia
1982.
%6 things not on my bed at the moment.
1. A bowl of washing up water.
2. The Hungatian football Team.
3. Claudia Schieffer (Naked) -
unfortunately.
4. Jaz X's pet sheep Geraldine.%5. A gold medal for Lacrosse from the
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