You've probably heard the hype#about the new futuristic game show #starring John Leslie. In fact, when
you read this, you'll almost "certainly have seen it too. Tough,#though: I'm going to write about it
anyway.
PLOT: A scavenger ship called,$uninspiringly; Scavenger sends out a%shuttle called "Vulture" to a wrecked#ship called "Cyclops". On board are%five people and an android. One; John%Leslie, the commander. The other four%humans are the two teams. The android"is called "Android". Must be a bit!confusing when she's around other
androids...# The commander asks Android for an#update on Cyclops. Android replies;% "Cyclops: Length, 16km, 156 levels.%Condition: degenerating. Environment:
hostile. Multiple salvage units$available. Landing possible adjacent
to level 19 control room." To
scavengers; "Let us hope you survive."% The two teams must now take part in!a number of exercises to retrieve%valuable pieces of equipment from the$stricken ship, which is a relic from!a long ago fought space war. They%have a total of 51 minutes to salvage$what they can and return to Vulture.$Any team members who fail to make it!back in time will be left behind.#Here are descriptions of the games:!(it's not clear whether the games#will be the same each time or not.)
MELTDOWN: Two long nets are
suspended above a pool of toxic#waste. Along side the nets on wires%are a number of sensors which monitor"the fumes. The teams must retrieve
these and take them back to the safety of the gantry by climbing#along the nets. Four salvage points%are given per monitor retrieved. Five%points for the colour coded ones. The"teams have four minutes before the
fumes become dangerous.# Jane from the red team appears to!run out of energy just as she is "about to climb up onto the gantry.%She is unable to climb up the net and#falls down the the very last run of%rope making up the net. Android warns
that wastage of the red team is!possible and time is running out.!Roddy, her team mate (who you may$remember from Gladiators, because he#was on it.) tries to pull her up on!the net but fails to do so before#time expires. Android suggests John"assists and Jane is retrieved, but
their salvage doesn't count.
"CHEMICAL POOL: 100 ampules (I love!that word, don't you? I'll say it again; ampule) are in this pool,#right, and they have to hang upside%down from this gantry in order to get$at them. Simple. The blokes rake the$ampules out and the women lower test#tube racks for them to be put in. 1%salvage point per ampule. No cock ups
this time.
PULSAR: The teams goto the ships$solar power plant, the pulsar. From
here they must retrieve energy storage devices. There are eight
pulse globes and six fuel rods
between them. The pulsar solar#collection mechanism is turning and%the space the scavengers have is very
limited. Fuel rods can only be#removed while there is a gap in the#mechanism for it to be pulled into.
Very claustrophobic.# 5 salvage points per pulse globe,
10 salvage points per fuel rod.
%CRUSHER: The scavengers now enter the ships crusher. Android gives the!mission description as always and"reveals the pleasant news that the!special risks of this mission are
that "Crusher activated due to%scavenger interference". Great stuff.#They must retrieve fuel rods (Quite%what fuel rods are doing in the ships!crusher is never quite explained)#from the rubbish and escape without
being squished.# 10 points per fuel rod retrieved." Tracey is forced to retrieve Ian
but in the process drops her $scavenger bag into the crusher which#is, err, crushed. It contained four
fuel rods each worth 10 points.$Android docks them the fourty points#they lost as a punishment for being#so damn stupid, and rightly so. The
commander calls them "Stupid#scavengers". I bet that really hurt
their feelings.
"RUPTURE: Oh-err! Anyway, there are$these four water filtration units in"these tubes right, and you have to#repair a leak in a pipe in order to#force the water into the tubes, the$filtration units will then be pushed!up the tubes. It's not quite that#simple, though, because each of the#tubes has loads of hole in it which#must be plugged up with corks. Only
three filtration units can be
retrieved because of lack of
pressure. Because there are two$filters for each team, one team must#retrieve two and the other can only
get one.
Each is worth 25 points.
#WATER CHAMBER: A large room has lot%of water in it, and there are lots of$barrels of fuel floating on the top.%The teams must push the barrels under water to get them into a cooling#tower. For each two barrels cooled,$the teams may remove one temperature#control unit, each worth 10 points.
#FINAL ABYSS: An abyss, and it's the"last one, too. The teams must each#construct a swing with which to get#themselves and their salvage across%the water and over to the other side,$using nothing more than a washing up
liquid bottle, two toilet paper#tubes, a piece of garden cane and 5%square metres of sticky back plastic,#or they could use one they prepared!earlier. Oops, sorry, wrong show.
Sorry John. Seriously though, there's this%metal crane they have to construct to
get across and return safely to"Vulture. The commander and Android%are already there, looking on in smug$detachment at everybody getting wet.%As well as rescuing themselves, there!is also a large amount of useful!supplies that just happened to be%there, which they can also get across the abyss using the crane. Pulse!barrels are worth 20 points each,$fuel rods are worth 15 each and ammo
cases are worth 10. # The usual procedure is to get one%of the team over to the other side to
assist with pulling the salvage!across, then get the salvage bags"across (stick all the fuel rods in%there as well; they're the only thing#small enough). Finally, bung across$all the other equipment you can get,"preferably in order of point score"(since they are, for once, just as#easy to get hold of as each other).
When time is looking low, throw
yourself across and get to the%Vulture. In the last half minute, the!teams will come under attack from
laser fire from aliens.# If the salvage bags are lost, the#team will lose all their points. If%one or both members of a team fail to"rendezvous with the Vulture before%the 51 minute time limit expires they
will be left behind.
In this final game, the reds!dropped a pulse barrel that would$have given them the points needed to%draw with the yellows, but nevermind,
" This gameshow seems very good to me. It has a very cyberpunk feel"about it. The whole set reminds me$very much of a Quasar arena, and the%computer animation while in space and
stuff is very good.$ There are a few bad points though,"mainly that it's never really made#clear when the game ends. The first"game had a four minute time limit, but with the others it was a bit!unclear. It was usually holted by"Android saying things like "Gantry unstable, I must insist that you%retrieve your scavengers immediately,$Commander." during Chemical Pool or, "Pulsar radiation surge reaching
critical. Evacuate the area
immediately, Commander." during"pulsar. Also, they seem to make up$the rules somewhat as they go along.%Where is is mentioned that dropping a"scavenger bag causes penalties? If%the rules were clearer, then it would"be much more enjoyable. What's the point of giving them a fifty-one%minute overall time limit if she only
orders them to evacuate after a
certain amount of time anyway?$ It certainly has potential, but at!the moment it's not as good as it#could be. It tries to be a gameshow!and a sci-fi programme, but is a !little dodgy on the former. Still
pretty good, though.% I also have to make a comment about%the android (Played by Anna Galvin.):% She puts across her role as Android"very well. She seems to take great"pleasure in announcing the special#dangers and docking points. Her and%the commander don't seem to get along"very well (a minor sub plot to the
games), and she didn't even say$thankyou when he saved her life (I'd"have thought she'd have noticed an!alien with a big pointy thing two"inches behind her, but maybe not.) All she said was "An interesting$lesson in self defence, Commander."
None of the other people I've"talked to about it like it, but I think it has great potential. At%least none of the "Whiter than white"
opponents take steroids like in%Gladiators. Can't wait until it's on
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