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Text File  |  2002-08-23  |  2.7 KB  |  72 lines
  1.  
  2.                                                      
  3.                                  From the              
  4.                             JOKIN' AROUND DISK         
  5.                                     by                 
  6.                             LEEJAN ENTERPRISES         
  7.                         P.O. Box 66. Happy Valley.     
  8.                           South Australia. 5159.       
  9.                                                        
  10.                                                        
  11.  
  12. GUIDE TO EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL
  13.  
  14. QUALITY OF WORK:
  15.  
  16. Excellent:      Leaps tall buildings with a single bound
  17. Good:           Must take running start to leap over tall buildings
  18. Average:        Can leap only short building, or medium (no spires)
  19. Fair:           Crashes into buildings when attempting to leap them
  20. Poor:           Cannot recognize building at all; jumps under them
  21.  
  22. TIMELINESS:
  23.  
  24. Excellent:      Is faster than a speeding bullet
  25. Good:           Is as fast as a speeding bullet
  26. Average:        Not quite as fast as a speeding bullet
  27. Fair:           Would you believe a slow bullet?
  28. Poor:           Wounds self with bullets
  29.  
  30. INITIATIVE:
  31.  
  32. Excellent:      Stronger than a locomotive
  33. Good:           Stronger than a bull elephant
  34. Average:        Stronger than a bull
  35. Fair:           Shoots the bull
  36. Poor:           Smells like a bull
  37.  
  38. ADAPTABILITY:
  39.  
  40. Excellent:      Walks on water
  41. Good:           Walks on water in emergencies
  42. Average:        Washes with water
  43. Fair:           Drinks water
  44. Poor:           Passes water in emergencies
  45.  
  46. COMMUNICATION:
  47.  
  48. Excellent:      Talks with God
  49. Good:           Talks with angels
  50. Average:        Talks to self
  51. Fair:           Argues with self
  52. Poor:           Looses arguements with self
  53.  
  54. Now, a systems analyst:
  55.  
  56.  ...Brushes medium to large buildings aside with his toe...
  57.  ...Catches bullets in his teeth and eats them...
  58.  ...Plays catch with his dog with locomotives...
  59.  ...Freezes water with a glance...
  60.  ...Is God...
  61.  
  62.  
  63.                                                      
  64.                                  From the              
  65.                             JOKIN' AROUND DISK         
  66.                                     by                 
  67.                             LEEJAN ENTERPRISES         
  68.                         P.O. Box 66. Happy Valley.     
  69.                           South Australia. 5159.       
  70.                                                        
  71.                                                        
  72.