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- UP YOUR ALLEY
- by
- Joe Garrett
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- Never let it be said that LOADSTAR
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- has turned away from the great social
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- issues of the day. Even computer
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- magazines must be aware of injustice
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- and take steps to correct the
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- inequities that they find.
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- Imaginative lot that we are, we
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- have even found a few problems no one
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- ever knew about before.
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- Take the yuppie bowling crisis--
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- LOADSTAR was first to recognize that
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- yuppies don't bowl. How can they
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- live with such a vital part of their
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- humanity unfulfilled? No wonder
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- they are such easy marks for foreign
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- car salesmen and tofu peddlers--
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- it is a classic case of transference.
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- LOADSTAR has found that all yuppie
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- behavior patterns, from wearing
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- Reeboks to thinking Garison Keillor
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- is funny, stem from their inability
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- to feel comfortable with bowling.
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- After reading everything from
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- Freud's CIVILZATION AND ITS
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- DISCONTENTS to the latest articles on
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- endocrinology, LOADSTAR has
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- discovered that this antipathy has a
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- physiological basis-- yuppies are
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- inevitably allergic to polyester and
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- domestic beer.
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- Since LOADSTAR realizes the
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- ramifications of a society that does
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- not bowl (after all, Gary Hart was
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- almost elected president by all those
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- non-bowlers) we commissioned our own
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- Joe Garrett to find a cure. He
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- succeeded admirably with UP YOUR
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- ALLEY.
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- Now yuppies can sit at home and be
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- comfortable in their natural fiber
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- clothing and relax to some old
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- Jackson Browne while they enjoy a
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- quiet, sanitary, and above all,
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- genteel game of bowling.
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- While UP YOUR ALLEY may lack some
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- of the bowling alley ambiance
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- necessary for a complete cure, it is
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- a great stride forward for yuppie's
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- eventual rehabilitation.
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- For the rest of us who don't
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- necessarily think that "turkey" means
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- a great low-cal meat, UP YOUR ALLEY
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- is one of the most realistic
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- computerized bowling games around-- a
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- game that lets us choose our marks
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- and have some control over the ball's
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- curve while it is in flight. UP YOUR
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- ALLEY also, unlike lesser bowling
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- games, keeps track of scores frame by
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- frame.
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- PLAYING UP YOUR ALLEY
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- While running UP YOUR ALLEY, you
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- will see only one screen. At the top
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- of this screen is where the program
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- prompts you to input information.
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- Below this section is the bowling
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- lane itself, and at the bottom of the
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- screen is a scoring chart.
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- When you begin UP YOUR ALLEY, you
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- will be prompted to enter the number
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- of players (up to two) and their
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- names. You must press RETURN after
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- you type the information.
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- At the bottom of the screen, beside
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- the scoring chart, an arrow points to
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- the name of the person who is bowling
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- at that time.
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- To prepare for your throw, use your
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- cursor keys to line the green mark at
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- the left-hand margin of the lane
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- where you want the ball to strike the
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- pins.
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- When you are satisfied with that
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- mark, pressing RETURN will release
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- your ball. Notice that hitting the
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- SPACE BAR will curve the ball in
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- flight-- an especially nice feature
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- to have when you are going after
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- those nasty splits.
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- UP YOUR ALLEY keeps score frame by
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- frame as each player bowls. After
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- the tenth frame, you will be asked if
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- you wish to play again.
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- FILES REQUIRED:
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- UP YOUR ALLEY
- BALL
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