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- the Bytebrother's
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- by Jimmy Pearson
-
-
- REVISION 4
- ╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
- ║ the PARANOID SCAN SYSTEM ║
- ║ Virus Checker and POLITICAL statement ║
- ╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
- FAST LOGIC OUTLAWS
- Wichita Ks.
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-
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- this program is released FREE with no charge or
- registration fee.
-
-
- PARAscan now includes the dynamic new MobyViro
- enhancement, the PARAscan Strength Monitor System
- and NEW REAL TIME RINGSIDE display!
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- PARASCAN.DOC
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- PARASCAN * The Paranoid Scan System *
- by the Bytebrothers
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-
-
- It's three o'clock in the morning. And holy hell breaks loose.
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- Computer users moan as their heads mutate into the shape of
- hogs. Livestock in adjoining fields begin speaking as their
- heads form into human heads with the gift of speech.
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- Computer chips begin moving, and climb out of their sockets
- and crawl out floppy drive doors murdering computer users in
- their sleep.
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- Three dimensional images of Christ are burned into the
- phosphors of CRT screens across the world.
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- Elderly female corpses climb from their graves in darkened
- graveyards and walk the streets, looking for fresh
- motherboards to wreak their frenzy upon.
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- H-Bombs go off over digital metropolises of Japanese chips,
- who in turn lauch bitstream air strikes at America's Pacific
- UART and DMA controllers.
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- T.V. Evangelists drop dead on top of executable files of Telix
- and Qmodem.
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- Millions of computer users wonder why their prompts turn into
- swastikas and their .com files keep dissappearing..
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- PARANOID..!! you say..???
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- how can you be sure..???
-
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- the Bytebrother's PARAscan incorporates the new PARANOID
- SCANNING SYSTEM which is designed to destroy the new wave
- viruses coming as the children of Baud approach the digital
- Armegeddon in the comic book of life we call "Bedtime for
- Cthulu".. So you say, "Why do *I* need another virus
- checker.??" The answer is because you don't want to wake up
- some morning, look into your mirror, and see the face of a 340
- pound hog.! You don't want a digital Dick Nixon erasing 18
- minute segments of your floppy disk collection.! You don't
- want a murderous virus murdering your .com files and burying
- them under your power supply in their pajamas..!! (* sob *)
-
- Install PARAscan on your system and run it, it will give you a
- running report of the cosmic battle and the monsters that it
- encounters. Run it in your autoexec.bat file each morning to
- start the day out right with no spawn of Satan lurking in your
- disk clusters.
-
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- This program does absolutely nothing, except attempt to make
- a political statement about digital yellow journalism and
- the paranoia of ignorance. It's dedicated to every engineer
- who sacrifices valuable tools because of managers who believe
- that every public program is a syphlitic sore, and that bbs
- systems are digital gay bars. It's also dedicated to the
- literally millions of computer hours burned up in the quest.
-
- This program is free, which is another major difference
- between it and many other virus checkers. It is dedicated to
- reason and common sense.
-
- If I have the same chance this year of getting a tire blowout
- on the freeway, that I do getting a computer virus on my
- system. Why do I find it unacceptable to spend five minutes of
- my time every day feeling all my tires before I go to work.??
-
-
- Jimmy Pearson
- & the Bytebrothers
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-