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- Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.
- An unbiased opinion is always absolutely valueless.
- Did you write the words, or the lyrics?
- Either one of us, by himself, is expendable. Both of us are not.
- Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
- First secure an independent income, then practice virtue.
- There's never a good time to score an own goal.
- Those who think they know it all, often upset those of us who do.
- You don't get once-in-a-lifetime offers like this every day.
- Bend the facts to fit the conclusion. It's easier that way.
- Computers run on faith, not electrons.
- Everyone has his day, and some days last longer than others.
- For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.
- Go on, be yourself! There isn't anyone better qualified.
- Have a nice day somewhere else.
- I'm famous. That's my job.
- If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
- In the long run, we are all dead.
- It works better if you plug it in.
- 42? -- 7 and a half million years and all you can come up with is 42?!
- Stupidity is NOT a handicap! Park elsewhere!
- There's 3 kinds of people - those who can count & those who can't
- If you wanna know the value of money, try to borrow some.
- Light at end of tunnel will be out until further notice.
- Incontinence Hotline... Can you hold, please?
- Anarchy is better than no government at all.
- If I save time, when do I get it back ?
- People who kill people give guns a bad name
- If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help
- If it ain't broke, let me have a shot at it...
- I can't be overdrawn! I still have cheques!
- The world is coming to an end. Please log off...
- If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out of it's nose?
- I don't GET headaches, I GIVE them!
- 3 dreaded words when making love: 'Honey, I'm home...'
- So I'm not schizo anymore. But where am I now that I need me?
- My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
- I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
- RELAX... It's only ones and zeros anyway.
- Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
- If idiots could fly, then this would be an airport
- Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
- Talk is cheap since supply exceeds demand
- Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an idiot.
- Got kleptomania? Take something for it!
- What makes Teflon stick to the pan?
- Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch?
- And Adam asked "What's a headache?"
- To Be Or ... damn! What was the question?
- I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.
- At the end of the game, the king and the pawn go into the same bag.
- Took an hour to bury the cat. Wouldn't stop moving!
- Looking for a helping hand? There's one on your arm.
- Research: noun - plural form of plagiarism.
- Yep, you bet! What was that you said?
- A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.
- Me, indecisive? I'm not so sure about that.
- Press to test. Release to detonate.
- Religion: myth-information.
- On what conclusions do you base your facts?
- A job is nice but it interferes with my life.
- Have you hugged an electric fence today?
- Funny, only sensible people agree with me.
- I'm a natural blonde, so please speak slowly.
- You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back!
- I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.
- Where there's a will, there's a lawsuit.
- A hundred thousand lemmings can't all be wrong.
- We got rid of our kids. The cats are allergic!
- We hired you to babysit. You cooked and ate them BOTH?
- Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark
- The nineteenth hole is always the best!
- Window Error:01F Reserved for future mistakes
- To get a loan you must prove you dont need one
- What were vices are now fashion.
- As Brains x Beauty tends to infinity, so availability tends to zero.
- Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law.
- Error 99 - CPU too tired to continue...
- Superior firepower is invaluable when negotiations stall.
- You can't fight City Hall. But you can burn it down.
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