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- BATTLEDROME WARRIORS COCKPIT CONTROL
-
- for use with Thrustmaster WCS MarkII
- OR Thrustmaster WCS MarkII and 4 button
- stick with a hat switch like CH Flightstick
-
- By Bill "Hercmaster Po" Wilson Phoenix, AZ Voice/Fax (602)953-1676
- Data (602)953-3661
-
-
- Well, ol' Hercmaster Po got pretty bored after wipin' all the Cybrids off the
- planet in the Metaltech Earthsiege campaign. Our boys at the Sierra\Dynamix
- NORACDEFEC8 (North American Cybrid Defense Center #8) came up with a little
- training and free time diversionary HERC combat sim for us so our boys can
- keep sharp while awaiting the arrival of the next Cybrid invasion wave from
- the inner planets. I ain't bored n'more now that we got BATTLEDROME, better
- than HBO reruns of TERMINATOR.
-
- IF YOU DON'T HAVE THIS SIM YOU'RE REALLY MISSIN' IT. TELL YER OTHER
- HERC PILOT FRIENDS TO GET IT TOO AND BLAST THEIR FREAKIN' PARTS OFF!
-
- Only thang that chaps my butt is that the tech boys had ta put these thangs
- together outa the leftover salvage and they had to build alot of 'em real fast
- so's they could satisfy the demand of all the HERC pilots that otherwise would
- hafta sit around and pick their crevice. Well, ya might say the technowhizzer
- boys skarooood around with the controls 'cause these new fightin' cans don't
- quite operate the same as the HERCS we kicked the Cybrids off the planet with.
- Gut says its just like techies ta fix sumpin' that ain't broke. So now we got
- mass confusion in the trainin' arena as everyone tries ta get used ta the
- controls or modify what they got ta work with. Mosta the boys are usin' that
- Thrustmaster WCS MarkII an' the Mark I FCS for controls but there's lotsa
- noise comin' from these pilots about which configuration is the best. Jes
- like fighter jocks ta carry on that way. Ya'd thank the way some of 'em talk
- they was fightin' over some girl. Man I tell ya, the nukes musta got the good
- ones 'cause I ain't seen any worth fightin' over in a long damn time,
- although that Stone gal I met on one campaing in the Earthsiege wars wudn't
- too bad lookin' for a stiffed lipped, stuck up, crap don't stink..nevermind..
- As I was sayin' there's lotsa confusion so I decided ta try an' sort this
- control mess out bafore someone else got their nose broke argyin' about
- which control configuration is the best. I guess someone will hafta prove it
- in the arena but until then there are several that seem ta get the job done.
- I jes wish the tech boys had built in a series of throttle steps that would
- work with the GAME 2 configuration for the WCS Mark II new chipset. The ideal
- throttle control would have been digital with a SINGLE STROKE keyboard
- character for 100% reverse, 75% reverse, 50% reverse, 25% reverse, zero
- throttle, 25% forward, 50% forward, 75% forward, 100% forward. Then you could
- pick Game 2 Throttle configuration, but nooooooo, anyway we do with what we
- have. Maybe they will come out with an option in an update or somethin' right?
- Hey, if we don't complain they'll think we like it, aye? Now the old MarkII
- chipset could be fooled into workin' the way ya want it to. But the new one
- has some kinda self testing algorithm that spots it like a birddog if ya try
- ta use the same character twice. The secret throttle code for the old chipset
- in the Mark II WCS for digital throttle usin' the game 2 statement is:
- THR 10 1 - - - - - 0 0 0 = = = = =
- Yea I know it ain't ten throttle steps but it works, I tried it. If it don't
- work fer you, well yer gonna get hurt then. I guess ya better play with it
- afore ya fight fer real, huh. Hey, check the character generation on yer DOS
- (Dumbly Organized System) screen and see what you get, if it does something
- other than the above characters then change the 10 to something else, and
- try again.
-
- Ok, time ta cut to the chase. I have developed five configuration that seem
- ta work pretty good. The secret is ta pick one that works OK fer ya then ta
- practice with it 'til ya ain't gettin' yor lame butt kicked na'more. The
- configuration that will work best for you will depend on the control hardware
- that's in yer HERC and yer own personal preferences. See, in this one battle
- in the Earthsiege campaign we caught a buncha Cybrids nappin' near what used
- ta be the old Thrustmaster regional distribution center. Well this one Cybrid
- got hit in the reactor by a 'lectro-optical Missile while it was standin' next
- to the this one wall at the distribution center and it blew its metal butt
- clean through that wall so when the scavenger troops came ta get the salvage
- they found some prototypes for a foot control system they're callin' a RCS.
- Now the machine shop boys have been able to produce some o' these but they're
- in short supply so if the HERC you bought has one, consider yerself very
- fortunate, these will definitely give ya an edge. If ya don't have RCS foot
- pedals thats still OK, some uh the boys say they kin fight jes fine without
- 'em. The configuration supplied here that you choose may depend alot on
- whether or not you wanna use them foot thangs, though. Unless I tell ya
- differ'nt the configurations below are for the new chipset in the MarkII
- WCS.
-
- Configuration #1 which I call BD.ADV
-
- Digital HAT, Analog Throttle
- Preferences Menu Chose Joy2 for movement, Joy1 for Turret, Keyboard for
- throttle (even though you aren't gonna use it, right?)
- Calibrate Joy2 by pushing throttle fwd and rudders left then reverse that
- procedure.
-
- BUTTON EFFECT
-
- HAT Same on All Rocker Positions
-
- Hat UP Centers Turret and Gives ya FWD View (BSP F1)
-
- Hat DWN Status Display (s) (Am I missing a vital part?)
-
- Hat LEFT Probe Control HUD Configuration (TAB o p h d w)
- This one turns on a HUD which tell ya everything ya need to see
- ta control a probe. Press it again and it turns the fightin' HUD
- back on. For this ta work properly you need to have the followin'
- displays turned on in your HUD to start with in your normal fightin'
- mode:
-
- Target (t) Damage (d) Throttle/Heading (h) Weapons (w) Energy (e)
- View/Control Status (b)
-
- It is a good idea to have this HUD configuration on anyway, if you are
- not using it like this, you should be. Hey if something is in the way,
- drag it where you want it but at least be able ta see it when ya need it.
- As far as the probe displays go, ya don't need 'em 'til ya wanna drive
- yer probe, turn 'em off, Rog? Try this out it really works well!
-
- Hat RT. Max. Engines "Ya ain't Drivin' Miss Daisy here"
-
- BUTTONS ON THE MARK I or 4 BUTTON JOYSTICK (you may have to load it and test
- if you bought one of them other sticks by accident)
-
- TRIGGER Fire weapon chain
-
- UPPER BUTTON RKR UP--Shield 90% (Press ESC if ya need panty shields, lets
- keep the damn arena clean, OK?)
-
- UPPER BUTTON RKR MID--Shield 80% (If ya got better sheild than butt armor.
- Seriously this just trickles a little more
- E to the weapons and engines.)
-
- UPPER BUTTON RKR DN--Balance Energy (Hey, a little Zen never hurts.)
- MID BUTTON RKR UP--Engine 90% (Keeps a little E in reserve for the other sys)
- MID BUTTON RKR MID-Engine 80% (For those of ya that are used ta drivin'
- V6 and 4 cylinder imports. Wouldn't want it
- ta get away from ya now would we?)
-
- MID BUTTON RKR DN--Zero Throttle (Stop, don't move, freeze, a good button
- ta use prior ta kickin' it left or rt.
- in a circle dance ya know. Oh, if you're
- using analog throttle like yer s'pose ta,
- then center your stick first.)
-
- LOWER BTN RKR UP--Max. Weapons (Com'on baby, charge that plasma.)
-
- LOWER BTN RKR MID-Weapons 80% (Lets the sheilds have some E, I ain't
- askeered ta die just ain't done with livin'
- yet.)
-
- LOWER BTN RKR DN--Gamma Correction (No this don't tell off yer grandmother.
- Jes like eatin' more carrots, though)
-
-
- WCS MARK II BUTTONS
-
- BTN #1 RKR UP--Fire Weapon #1
-
- RKR MD--Remove Weapon #1 from firing chain
-
- RKR DN--Pause (Hey, why didn't ya go b'fore we left?)
-
- BTN #2 RKR UP--Fire #2
-
- RKR MD--Remove #2
-
- RKR DN--Probe orientation display (don't mess with it, its here
- just ta be here if you wanta
- screw up your HUD settings.)
-
- BTN #3 RKR UP--Fire #3
-
- RKR MD--Remove #3
-
- RKR DN--Probe List (See Probe Orientation Comment Above!)
-
-
- BTN #4 RKR UP--Fire #4
-
- RKR MD--Remove #4
-
- RKR DN--Select Probe #1 (First Press) [if you bought a probe]
- Free Probe #1 (Second Press)
-
- BTN #5 RKR UP--Fire #5
-
- RKR MD-Remove #5
-
- RKR DN--Select Probe #2 (If you bought a #2)
- Free Probe #2 (Just like Probe #1)
-
- BTN #6 RKR UP--Fire #6
-
- RKR MD--Remove #6
-
- RKR DN--Select Probe #3 (If you bought a #3)
- Free Probe #3 (Just like Probe #1)
-
-
- Now for the useful part. I gotta good format here for the HERC pilot's
- kneeboard. This will put it all at yer fingertips, er..ah,...retinatips, huh?
- Anyway, produce a copy of this on yer Ulick Backard Desk Skwert fibrous
- matrix marking peripheral if ya have one, uuggghh. It may come in handy, it's
- like my daddy used ta always tell me "Shut th' hell...wait...ah..that was my
- other daddy, ah "its better to have it and not need it than to gather no moss"
- I don't know what that means but I'm sure it was important at the time. Hey,
- take what ya can use and leave the rest, Jack! Now, one more thing, the
- trickiest part of this program is the probe control. The procedure is as
- follows, pay attention!:
- 1)Press HAT LEFT to turn on probe HUD displays
- 2)RKR DN Press BTN 4,5 or 6 (for multiple probes) to select your probe
- 3)RKR DN Press BTN 4,5 or 6 a second time to FREE the probe to roam and
- control with your joystick. Press button twice more to ATTACH probe (twice
- because it toggles between select probe and ATT/FRE).
- 4)Control Probe with joystick and fire button. Unfortunately our designers
- require you to use button 2 on the joystick to go in reverse. This is not
- possible with the digital Thrustmaster FCS Stick. We need a different method,
- programmers! I have included some programs that require plugging the FCS
- into the Joy 1 port and the WCS into Joy 2 port which will give you this
- reverse option as well and HERC control options not available in the other
- configurations but you sure give up alot of command features available from
- my BD.ADV program for this very small convenience. How about it programmer
- guys? What say we fix this along with the throttle wish as stated above.
- There is one option that will work but requires work and a small rewriting
- of the BD.ADV file. I will describe this option later as it adds other
- enhancements.
- 5)Press HAT UP to return to HERC cockpit
- 6)Press HAT LEFT to restore original HUD displays
-
-
-
- Analog Throttle BD.ADV Digital HAT
-
-
- BTN RKR UP RKR MD RKR DN
-
- UB Shield 90% Sheild 80% Balance Energy
-
- MB Engine 90% Engine 80% Zero Throttle
-
- LB Max. Weapons Weapons 80% Gamma Correction
-
-
- #1 Fire Weapon 1 Remove Weapon 1 PAUSE
-
- #2 2 2 Probe Orient. Disp
-
- #3 3 3 Probe List
-
- #4 4 4 Probe #1 / ATT-FRE
-
- #5 5 5 Probe #2 / ATT-FRE
-
- #6 6 6 Probe #2 / ATT-FRE
-
- (draw a circle around the following representing the hat button)
-
- CTR TURRET
- FWD VIEW
-
-
-
- PROBE CTRL MAX
- DISPLAY ENGINE
-
-
-
- STATUS
- DISPLAY
-
- F12 Calibrate / Preferences
- Ctrl Q Exit to DOS, your wife's home! Quick type cd\windows.......
- View Control Status b
- Weapons Display w
- HUD on/off u
- Reset HUD Ctrl u
- Target info t
- Next Probe n
- Damage/Sheild d
- Surrender ESC
- Throttle/Heading h
- Cal. Joystick Ctrl j (use at yer own risk)
-
-
-
-
- The text of the .ADV file is shown here:
-
- GAME 0 30
- BTN UB /U x X /M x /D z
- BTN MB /U c C /M c /D 0
- BTN LB /U v V V /M v /D F8
- BTN HU BSP F1
- BTN HR c C C
- BTN HD s
- BTN HL TAB o p h d w
- BTN 1 /U 1 /M ALT 1 /D F12
- BTN 2 /U 2 /M ALT 2 /D o
- BTN 3 /U 3 /M ALT 3 /D p
- BTN 4 /U 4 /M ALT 4 /D /T F2 /T a
- BTN 5 /U 5 /M ALT 5 /D /T F3 /T a
- BTN 6 /U 6 /M ALT 6 /D /T F4 /T a
-
-
- ENHANCEMENT OF THE THRUSTMASTER WCS/FCS COMBINATION
-
- One of the only inconveniences (irritations) in using this combination is
- that for digital programming of the FCS buttons, you have to run it into the
- WCS which destroys the analog capability of the buttons (trigger not with-
- standing). The hat can still function in analog with a switch, but not the
- UB, MB and Lower Button. You may restore this function by plugging the FCS
- (of CH Flightstick) into the Joy 1 Port and the WCS into the Joy 2 Port as
- previously mentioned. However, you then lose the multifunction digital
- capability of all the buttons. Since the FCS makes a great control for DOOM
- and other similar programs, you have to change configurations by powering
- down your box and then reattaching the joysticks. This is a pain in the oil
- pan. If there was a way to restore analog function to the buttons it would be
- welcomed. Well, welcome home you childhood toy breakers, here is a chance to
- revisit those golden days. Open up your WCS and take a look, you can attach
- three jumper wires with switches in the middle to pass analog flow to the
- gamecard. Where? Ah, did we discuss my fee yet? Oh, well they said I can't
- sell anything here so I'll tell ya fer free. If you loosen the circuit board
- from it's housing (3 screws, now are you interested?) and turn it over to see
- the bottom you will see where you can solder some wire connections to many
- different locations, including the 15 pins comprising the joystick port. Don't
- start soldering yet, I know it's fun but remember how much you paid for this
- HERC Controller.$) OK, I said wait...put that solder iron down now! You only
- need to make 6 solder connections on the board, we are only making fancy
- jumpers. Ya gotta know what those are. Turn the board back over and look for
- connections labelled J26, J27, and J28. Now turn the circuit board to the
- flip side and look at the pins for the joystick connector on the circuit
- board. The pins are numbered as shown below:
-
- Joystick Connection
- --------------------------------------------------------- EDGE OF BOARD
- #9 . . . . . . . #15 |
- |
- #1 . . . . . . . . #8 |
-
- As seen from underneath the board
- Underneath=the side NOT showing when you J26
- take the base off the MARKII and look
- inside. J28 J27
-
- The connections are as follows:
-
- Upper Button PIN 7 to J26
- Middle Button PIN 10 to J27
- Lower Button PIN 14 to J28
-
- Solder a small gauge, single filament wire to PIN 7 then to J26 and another
- wire to PIN 10 and J27 then another wire to PIN 14 and J28. Then run your
- MARKII tmsa program while you have the MarkII open and the keyboard and FCS
- hooked up and press each button on the FCS to test for analog stream presence.
- If you have done this correctly then the trigger display will change from a
- 0 to a 1 and each other button will also work this way as they are pressed.
- When you are satisfied with the results, turn off the computer and clip each
- wire in turn soldering a small switch you can buy at a Radio Hut or other
- establishment. You can use a separate switch for each button. The most
- versitile arrangement I have found is to put one switch on the Upper Button
- and a Double Pole Switch on the other 2 buttons which allows you to turn on
- and off the analog stream for button one and leave the others digital. This
- in effect creates a standard joystick. This could be very useful for a variety
- of programs including Battledrome and the probe control discussed above. Best
- of all you don't have to change your joystick plug connections when trying to
- use the FCS as a standard FCS 4 button joystick, useful for a quick switch
- from sparks to blood (Battledrome to Doom). Remember, that even though you
- are using one switch on the other 2 buttons (MB and LB) it must be a double
- pole switch so the circuits stay separate. The potentially awesome (or
- troublesome) plus with this setup is that the buttons with the switch in the
- analog on position (contact with the jumper wires) now not only throw analog
- streams but return digital function as well!!!!....Whoa!!!....Swoooon!!!
- If you don't want digital characters then don't program those button lines
- in the MarkII .adv program. If you want to try both, that is going to take
- some experimentation with each sim that normally supports the FCS or CH
- Flightstick to get some really swoooft effects, but it appears to be very
- much "...a theoretical possibility, Captain." "Thank you Mr. Spock." Wow,
- digital and analog mixed, I still can't get over it. I have successfully
- accomplished this twice, so anyone with a soldering iron and some switches
- can do this, just use a steady hand and remember to heat the wire and
- connections not just the solder. Solder flux helps in tinning the wires prior
- to connection, hey do it right and don't get everthing too hot, it isn't
- necessary, and the solder joints don't need to be large, just adequate for
- a current to flow. Hey, Thrustmaster, how about including this as Standard
- Equipment? As I stated before, this works perfectly. No problems at all.
- None. I'm tellin' ya. Just do it! Oh, and mount the switch wherever you want
- to, just make sure you have long enough wires beforehand. You can dangle the
- darn switches in the air if you want, just so yer happy.
-
- One more thing, now rerun the tmsa program and check for operation of the
- switches as you did previously before closing the base of the MarkII. Now,
- is also a good time to check on the calibration of your analog throttle while
- the base is open and tmsa is running. Switch to analog HAT and digital
- throttle and check to see if the HAT value is 82, if not, then adjust the
- speed of your gamecard and try again. If you don't have a speed adjustable
- game card and you can't get a value very near 82, then YOU NEED A GAME CARD
- that is speed adjustable or any joystick will not operate to its full
- potential. My anal retentive personality requires a value of 82 and so does
- my joystick, 'cause I told it that it did. So once you have an 82 on the HAT
- then switch to analog throttle and digital HAT and check your throttle values,
- you should be at 10 on the lower end. If not, then loosen the nut inside
- yourself and lets party....uh, wait, first loosen the nut on the throttle
- potentiometer. Now while looking at the bottom (flat part) of the poteniometer
- rotate the potentiometer counterclockwise to lower the reading toward 10 or
- to clockwise to raise the reading toward 10. Once you find a 10, marry her,
- and tighten your nut while you're there.
-
- All done, well let's go on to other control configurations for Battledrome.
- YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MAKE THE ABOVE MODIFICATION FOR THESE TO WORK!
-
- The next configuration I call: BDDIGTHR.ADV
- In the sim preferences, select Keyboard=Movement, Joy 1=Turret, Keyboard=THR
- On the WCS: HAT Digital, THR Digital
-
- BDDIGTHR.ADV
-
-
- BTN RKR UP RKR MD RKR DN
-
- UB Shield 90% Sheild 80% Balance Energy
-
- MB Engine 90% Engine 80% Zero Throttle
-
- LB Max. Weapons Weapons 80% Gamma Correction
-
-
- #1 Fire Weapon 1 Remove Weapon 1 PAUSE
-
- #2 2 2 Target Display
-
- #3 3 3 Probe HUD Config.
-
- #4 4 4 Probe #1 / ATT-FRE
-
- #5 5 5 Probe #2 / ATT-FRE
-
- #6 6 6 Probe #2 / ATT-FRE
-
- (draw a circle around the following representing the hat button)
-
- STATUS
- DISPLAY
-
-
-
- HERC LEFT HERC RIGHT
- WHEN FWD WHEN FWD
-
-
-
- CTR TURRET
- FWD VIEW
-
-
- See the discussion section above for the description of key presses for
- BD.ADV and apply the names to this file. The file for download looks like
- this:
-
- GAME 1 30
- BTN UB /U x X /M x /D z
- BTN MB /U c C /M c /D 0
- BTN LB /U v V V /M v /D F8
- BTN HU s
- BTN HR ]
- BTN HD BSP F1
- BTN HL [
- BTN 1 /U 1 /M ALT 1 /D F12
- BTN 2 /U 2 /M ALT 2 /D t
- BTN 3 /U 3 /M ALT 3 /D TAB o p h d w
- BTN 4 /U 4 /M ALT 4 /D /T F2 /T a
- BTN 5 /U 5 /M ALT 5 /D /T F3 /T a
- BTN 6 /U 6 /M ALT 6 /D /T F4 /T a
- BTN MT - -
- THR 10 1 = - = y = y
-
-
- The next configuration I call: BDMARKI.ADV
- In the sim preferences select: Keyboard=Movement, Thustmaster FCS=Turret
- Keyboard=Throttle
- Set the WCS to Analog HAT and Digital THR
-
-
- BDMARKI.ADV
-
-
- BTN RKR UP RKR MD RKR DN
-
- UB Shield 90% Sheild 80% Balance Energy
-
- MB Engine 90% Engine 80% Zero Throttle
-
- LB Max. Weapons Weapons 80% Gamma Correction
-
-
- #1 Fire Weapon 1 Remove Weapon 1 Status Display
-
- #2 2 2 Target Display
-
- #3 3 3 Probe HUD Config.
-
- #4 4 4 Probe #1 / ATT-FRE
-
- #5 5 5 Probe #2 / ATT-FRE
-
- #6 6 6 Probe #2 / ATT-FRE
-
- See the discussion section above for the description of key presses for
- BD.ADV and apply the names to this file. The file for download looks like
- this:
-
- GAME 1 30
- BTN UB /U x X /M x /D z
- BTN MB /U c C /M c /D 0
- BTN LB /U v V V /M v /D F8
- BTN 1 /U 1 /M ALT 1 /D F12
- BTN 2 /U 2 /M ALT 2 /D t
- BTN 3 /U 3 /M ALT 3 /D TAB o p h d w
- BTN 4 /U 4 /M ALT 4 /D /T F2 /T a
- BTN 5 /U 5 /M ALT 5 /D /T F3 /T a
- BTN 6 /U 6 /M ALT 6 /D /T F4 /T a
- BTN MT - -
- THR 10 1 = - = y = y
-
-
- The next configuration I call: BDMK2SEP.ADV
- In the sim preferences select: Keyboard=Movement, Thrustmaster FCS=Turret
- Keyboard=Throttle
- Plug the FCS into Joystick Port 1 and the WCS into Joystick Port 2 (that's
- right separate them)
- Hat or Joystick controls HERC movement depending on pressing Upper Button
- on the FCS
- You must delete weapons from the firing chain by pressing Alt and the
- weapon # you wish to delete.
-
- RKR UP MD DN
-
- #1 Fire Weapon 1 Shield 90% Status Display
-
- #2 2 Engine 90% Target Display
-
- #3 3 Max. Weapons Probe HUD Config.
-
- #4 4 Equal Settings Probe #1 / ATT-FRE
-
- #5 5 Max. Engine Probe #2 / ATT-FRE
-
- #6 6 Max. Shield Probe #2 / ATT-FRE
-
-
- The download file looks like this:
-
- GAME 0 30
- BTN 1 /U 1 /M x X /D s
- BTN 2 /U 2 /M c C /D t
- BTN 3 /U 3 /M v V V /D TAB o p h d w
- BTN 4 /U 4 /M z /D /T F2 /T a
- BTN 5 /U 5 /M c C C /D /T F3 /T a
- BTN 6 /U 6 /M x X X /D /T F4 /T a
-
-
- The next configuration I call: BDCTLTHR.ADV
- This selection uses the alternate throttle commands the programmers
- "thoughtfully provided for MARKII WCS use."
- This is my least favorite configuration, but it is all a matter of preference
- as it does work well, you just don't have throttle control with the WCS
- throttle, instead you do it with button presses.
- Set up your sim preferences as in the BDMK2SEP.ADV configuration except
- choose MarkII WCS in the sim preferences under throttle section.
- Again separate the FCS and WCS as in the above example.
-
-
- BDCTLTHR.ADV
-
-
- RKR UP MD DN
-
- #1 Fire Weapon 1 FWD 100% Status Display
-
- #2 2 FWD 75% Target Display
-
- #3 3 FWD 25% Probe HUD Config.
-
- #4 4 REV 25% Probe #1 / ATT-FRE
-
- #5 5 REV 75% Probe #2 / ATT-FRE
-
- #6 6 REV 100% Probe #2 / ATT-FRE
-
-
-
- The download file looks like this:
-
- GAME 0 30
- BTN 1 /U 1 /M CTL 8 /D s
- BTN 2 /U 2 /M CTL 7 /D t
- BTN 3 /U 3 /M CTL 6 /D TAB o p h d w
- BTN 4 /U 4 /M CTL 4 /D /T F2 /T a
- BTN 5 /U 5 /M CTL 3 /D /T F3 /T a
- BTN 6 /U 6 /M CTL 2 /D /T F4 /T a
- _________________________________________________
-
- These configurations are not the only ones. You may wish to pick and choose
- some ideas from one and add to another or insert some of your own. I have
- all of these and they do work. The best advice I can give is to find one you
- like or that works well with your hardware and stick with it and practice.
- You can with all of these configurations. These are all designed to get the
- most from the hardware configuration you have and from this sim. Remember,
- when you use the configuration where the WCS and FCS are separated (plugged
- into different joystick ports) refer to the back of your Quick Reference Card
- for you Battledrome sim for FCS operation.
-
- TECHNICAL SUPPORT DEPARTMENT
- (like a 12-Step recovery 900 number for the unbalanced masses that fell on
- their keyboard during installation. "Yea hello, this is Dilbert Hamfist an'
- I jes bawt yor new game so's I could kill that thang on the box that looks
- like my ex-wife's lawyer an' I tried ta in'stall it an' it dint werk. Kin
- ya'll tell me whut is the matter wit' it. I caaant understand whut is wrong
- 'cause I got a 269 Triple X computer wit' a real hard drive and lots a mem'ry an
- I mean ta tell ya I got Mega RAMMED out the waazu so it shood wurk!" "We'll
- Mr. Hamfist did you try to install it with the computer plugged in and turned
- on? Oh, you did. Well did you insert disk #1 in the floppy drive first?"
- "What disk, thats another thang, I got this big ol box here an all's my
- computer has is one a them little skinny slits in it and a thang called a
- CD Drive I can't figger what it's fer but if I pull it out it makes a nice
- shelf to hold a piece of pizza fer me whilst I'm huntin fer the letters own
- my keybard." "Well obviously Mr. Hamfist your problem appears to be beyond
- the scope of our technical services department, but if you call Greg Taylor
- our BBS SYSOP he has experienced similar problems in the past and has
- successfully worked through most of them. Goodbye and thank you for reminding
- me that there are people just like you loose in the world, I think I'll
- stay home more."
-
- Now wasn't that a special lesson in courteous customer service?
-
- Call us and we can use our trusty rusty proctoscope to help you determine if
- your cranial vault is occluding your alimentary canal. Or we might say
- something like "The 200 inch refracting telescope at Mt. Palomar Observatory
- can detect the light of a candle at the distance to New York City. Now, even
- with the aid of that remarkable instrument I still could not see your
- problem."
-
- (602) 555-LKUP
- (Try it, hey ya got just as gooda chance of talkin to someone that can help
- as any other tech support number you called at random, ever wish you were
- the other customer...as in "Please hold our representatives are currently
- (making a hundred other customers hold while they finish-off that HERC)
- assissting other customers."
-
- Deep Thought: Clunk softly and don't shoot your plasma too soon.
-