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- Why couldn't the pony talk?
- Because he was a little horse.
- Why did the woman name both of her sons Ed?
- Because two Eds are better than one.
- Why didn't dinosaurs drive cars?
- There were too many Tyrannasaurus wrecks.
- Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
- Because the captain was standing on the deck.
- Did you hear about the man who stayed up all night to see the sun rise?
- It finally dawned on him.
- Why was the cat thrown out of school?
- Because he was a cheatah.
- What did the boy say after he learned how to count money?
- It all makes cents now!
- Why did the belt go to jail?
- Because it held up a pair of pants.
- What did the painter say to the wall?
- One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
- Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
- Because he saw the salad dressing.
- Why did they put a fence around the cemetery?
- People were dying to get in.
- Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
- He wanted to get to the second-hand shop.
- Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
- To win the nobell prize.