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- Subj: smurf sex
- ~~~~~~~~~~~
- It's time to tell the truth about Smurfs.
-
- You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and
- ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and
- good and bad times.
-
- "But," people ask, "do Smurfs have..... you know,...... *sex*?"
-
- The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES!
-
- And why shouldn't they? They're people, too.
-
- What *most* people don't know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the
- reason is because Smurfs only have sex once a year.
-
- Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you'd be blue, too.
-
- Once a year, in the Smurf village, flags and banners fly happily
- in the breeze, proclaiming that the day of the annual Smuckfest
- has arrived. Birds sing and the Sun comes out to watch, despite
- the weatherSmurf's direst predictions.
-
- I guess good ol' Mr. Sun is a voyeur.
-
- In the middle of town, Papa Smurf gives a brief speech explaining
- the origin of the Smuckfest; how Dr. C. Everett Koop came to the
- village and warned all the Smurfs about AIDS. Papa Smurf knew that no one
- made condoms small enough for a Smurf (even though everyone knows
- that all male Smurfs are uniformly well-hung, for their size), so he
- decreed that all Smurfs would only smuck one day a year.
-
- "Smucking one day a year will help us identify any diseases we may
- transmit to one another, and keep them from spreading to the animals
- in the forest," declaimed Papa Smurf. "Besides, it will give
- Smurfette a chance to rest."
-
- Yes! Smurfette must rest. For, as everyone knows, Smurfette is the
- only female Smurf in the village, and after a full day of having
- vigorous, rabid sex with two hundred cunt-crazed little blue men,
- she needs a break.
-
- So, on the appointed day, Papa Smurf bids everyone throw their
- inhibitions to the wind and immerse themselves in debauchery.
- And, as is his privilege, Papa Smurf throws out the first throe.
-
- At his signal, Smurfette unties the skintight blue band she must
- use to suppress her natural bustiness, and her astounding tits
- spring forth into the daylight. The Sun gleams lecherously on
- the smooth, blue flesh, nipples crinkling in the light of day from
- her soon-to-be-unbridled lust.
-
- Then Smurfette shimmies out of her skirt and stands before the
- crowd, naked as the day she was born, save the spike-heeled white boots
- she has donned just for the occasion. Her long, blonde hair cascades
- down her back and lasciviously outlines her buttocks, clinging like
- a dirty old man's gaze to each curve and dimple.
-
- Her cunt winks lewdly from behind the golden shield of pubic glory,
- already glistening in mad anticipation of each and every raging
- rod it would receive that day. And receive them gladly it would,
- for hers is the indefatigable furburger, and she hungered for the
- sauce blended in the heat of passion.
-
- Smurfette turns to Papa Smurf and lifts her stupendous breasts
- with their turgid nipples to his lips. He takes each one, in
- turn, into his mouth, where his tongue dances the Fabulous Fandango
- around the areolae, as Smurfette moans like a cat in heat.
-
- Then, when poor Smurfette can take no more, Papa Smurf drops to
- his bony little knees and sprinkles his magic deSmurfilating
- dust on Smurfette's engorged cunt lips. Presto! The lovely
- blonde braiding material falls from her, leaving her shaved smooth
- as a hard-boiled egg.
-
- "Oh, Papa Smurf!" she cries. "Encore!! Encore!!", as she writhes
- in anticipation of the Fabulous Furless Fandango danced 'round her
- pulsating pussy.
-
- Papa Smurf does not disappoint the damsel in distress; he slides
- his hands under her tight little blue ass and parts her moistness
- with his thumbs. As the hot, funky juices begin to run down his
- arms, he plunges tongue-first and tonsil-deep into her wiggling
- womanhood. Smurfette gasps as the talented tongue begins to do
- its magic, and her cunt clutches at it like a baby bird after a
- worm.
-
- Cradling his head to her crotch, Smurfette's hips begin to slowly
- grind and twitch, for Papa Smurf's tongue has unerringly found her
- S-spot, and Smurfette begins the slow, hot, agonizing rise to
- ecstasy. "Oh, make me smurf, baby, make me smurf!", she pants,
- each stroke of his tongue causing her to throb and clutch.
-
- As Smurfette's moans and cries rise in pitch higher and higher,
- the crowd gazes in amazement at the mighty mound of meat struggling
- to escape from Papa Smurf's pants. This, then, is the legendary
- Trouser Titan, bulging forth in a determined attempt to split
- the barrier.
-
- Just when Smurfette is certain that she will die from sheer
- sensory overload, Papa Smurf flings off his Levis and frees
- the Magnificent Heat-Seeking Moisture Missle from its cradle.
- Maddened with blind lust, Smurfette hurls Papa Smurf to the
- platform and leaps shrieking into the air, landing unerringly
- on his Titanic Totem.
-
- Suddenly filled, Smurfette's cunt explodes in a monster orgasm,
- the force of which propels her screaming into the air again and
- again, each time plummeting her onto the Potent Purple Pecker and
- triggering another climax.
-
- Before Smurfette can achieve orbit, Papa Smurf grab her legs and
- pulls her to the ground. Swiftly, he stands, pulling her to her
- knees. Gasping in awe, Smurfette gets a head-on view of his
- hard-on, glistening in the light like a war staff.
-
- The sight of this shining stud is too much for Smurfette, who
- immediately grabs both of Papa smurf's bulging balls in her hands
- and pulls him to her waiting mouth. With preternatural skill and
- primeval hunger, Smurfette devours the monster cock, licking and
- sucking like a starving child with an ice cream cone.
-
- His ass knotting like a sailor's anchor rope, Papa Smurf pounds
- into Smurfette's mouth with furious strokes. As he reaches his
- blazing climax, he forces Smurfette to take all thirteen and 7/8ths
- inches of blue tube steak and fires round after pulsing round
- of blue goo down her ravenous throat.
-
- "Hurray!!", shouts the crowd. "Now it's OUR turn!!"
-
- Suddenly the town square erupts with scenes of azure carnality,
- as 200 tiny blue asses appear in the sunlight. 200 raging
- cocks swarm toward Smurfette's waiting and ever-willing cunt,
- ready to make her scream for mercy as they scream for more. 400
- bouncing balls follow each other toward the nearest available
- orifice, making Smurfette wish there were more of her.
-
- Those lucky enough to find access to Smurfette's fabulous form
- begin their crazed humping, as others find their schlongs being
- stroked as fast as she can grab. Those whose time will come later
- are coming now, as their friends clutch lustily at their forbidden
- fruits, flinging frothy fuck-foam far and wide.
-
- Up the ass! Down the throat! Backhand, forehand, underhand, in
- the armpit or behind the knee, the Smurfs erupt in a display of
- orgasmic prowess to shame the most devoted student of the Kama
- Sutra. Soon the street become hazardous to navigate (and navigate
- one must), as the square gets deeper and deeper in the collective
- come.
-
- Hour after hour, the orgy rampages on.
-
- Gradually, as night falls, the screams of orgasmic ecstasy turn
- to the moans and sighs of deep contentment, with the occasional
- whimper from an over-enthusiastic sodomite. Soon all is quiet,
- as Smurf helps Smurf back to Home and Preparation H. Tubes of
- Chap-Stick are quickly distributed to soothe aching lips, and
- aloe gel is applied (as are lips, if it is too stimulating) to
- the citizen's members to ease the burning.
-
- As the exhausted (and completely sated) Smurfs lie in sexual
- stupor, gentle rains come (not them, too!) to wash away all traces
- of the fleshfest that was.
-
- And you wondered why Smurfs are always in such a good mood...
-
- (THE END)