Amiga ISO Collection/AmigaDemoCD2.iso/ASCII/TEXTE/SEX/ENGLISH/RightPlaceWrongTime.txt

Text File | 1992-09-02 | 7.3 KB | 132 lines

RIGHT PLACE, WRONG TIME
-----------------------


    It was June. A sunny afternoon. Everything was cool, but action was
supposed to start at the evening. We were supposed to go to a copy party in
Aaland isles. It was a Åland Crackers' party and we were invited to there.
And of course we decided to go there. (Reason: boozing was allowed!) It's a
long way to Aaland isles. (Because Aaland isles are in the middle of
Gulf of Bothnia. First you must go to Turku or Helsinki where those big
ships (car ferries) leave. In our case we were supposed to go to Turku,
because it's nearer. The ship was supposed to leave at 21.00. At six o'clock we
were ready to go. There were: me (Brainie), Awcy, Ooze and Particle of
Clones and Jukkis of Nikki Corruptions. Jukkis was supposed to be our driver,
but surprise, surprise, Awcy drank couple of beers and Jukkis wanted one too.
Well, after one came two, and you know the rest of the story: When I came to
Awcy's place Jukkis and Awcy were quite drunk. Awcy had homemade beer and
they had drunk five of them. They were singing something strange (it was
supposed to be Depeche Mode's "People are people", but it sounded like Sex
Pistols' version of it...) I was surprised. What are we gonna do now, I asked
from myself. I got an idea, if I'm drunk too I can't drive! I didn't want to
drive to Turku. So, I went to shop to buy couple beers (I was not gonna
drank Awcy's homemade beer, because it tastes like pee and affects like 100%
pure alcohol... Next day you think that it would be better to be dead than in
hangover...)
    I went to shop and bought me couple beers (couple and couple:
10 is a nice round number or what...) I was away about an hour. (I did some
NICE things with the shopkeeper (18 years old blonde...), but that's a
another story... But I must say this: that shop had really good service!!!).
I went back to Awcy's place, opened first bottle of beer and drank it down.
It felt good. When I was in the toilet I heard Ooze and Particle coming.
Awcy and Jukkis were doing something in the attic (sorry guys nothing to do
with sex... they got an idea of playing icehockey and because Awcy had a
table-icehockey game on the attic, they went to find it. They were quite drunk,
you know... It sounded like they were playing real icehockey there!)
"What the fuck?" asked Ooze when he was coming inside.
"What's happening here?" Particle asked. "What's that noise?"
"Hey guys, I'm in the toilet", I shouted to them.
"What's happening in here?" Ooze asked. "What's that noise?"
"It's just Awcy and Jukkis playing icehockey", I replied to him.
"Are they mad?" Particle asked desperately.
"No they're just drunk", I said.
"Drunk!" they both shouted.
"Well, yes and so am I."
"Just great. I should have guessed this", shouted Particle. "And now I have to
drive?" Ooze asked in despair.
"Yes, you or Particle", I answered.
"Oh shit, this ain't fun!" Ooze sighed.
    After a little while, after shouting to Awcy and Jukkis to come down,
we were ready to leave. We packed our car (Jukkis' new Pontiac Firebird...
Just kidding! It was an old Volkswagen pickup which Jukkis had bought a little
time ago. It was brown. It was supposed to be white, but there was more rust
than paint in it, so it looked like brown). We packed one Amiga and one PC in
the back and all the other stuff we needed.
After packing our stuff we started our trip to Turku. Ooze was driving
(he didn't want to, but we didn't care...) and we we're partying.
We were in the back of the car and we had couple bottles of beer left. And of
course we drank them. Ooze and Particle were in the front (Particle didn't want
to drink. Well, not yet...). After half an hour we came to Turku and there
were no beer left. A little while later (Ooze drived to wrong direction
first...) we came to the harbor. We went to get our tickets. It was a fast
job. Ooze and Particle went to get them, and we (I, Awcy and Jukkis) went to
the toilet (beer makes your bladder to explode...). After getting the tickets
we went back to the car. We drove (I mean Ooze drove) inside the ship. We locked
the car and went to find something to do. We didn't have a cabin, because it's
not a long way to the Aaland isles. We were supposed to be there in the middle
of the night.
    We came front of a bar.
"Hey that's not open!" Awcy cursed.
"There's written that it will be opened at 21.00", Particle said pointing
to a sign.
"What the hell are we gonna do for 1,5 hours?" I asked from them. "I'm thirty
as hell."
"I know a solution to our problem", Jukkis said to us.
"What is it?" Ooze asked.
"Let's go to sauna. You can buy beer from there!"
"Alright! That's a great idea!" Awcy said to him happily.
We almost ran to the sauna. We rented swimming suits and went into sauna.
After a little while we ordered drinks. We bathed and drank. After an hour we
stopped and went to the disco.
    Time was about 22.30 when we came to the disco. Place was full of
people and the most important thing was that there were lots of girls. So, we
started our hunting. After couple of hours we got pissed off, because no luck
in getting chicks. We went to our car. We we're supposed to be in Maarianhamina
after half an hour. We waited and waited and at last we were there. Ooze drove
the car out.(he was still sober...) We drove couple of kilometers to the party
place (or what supposed to be the partyplace...).
    It was a school. There seemed not to be any action. We stopped the car
and went out. We walked toward the doors and tried to open them. Locked.
"What's going on?" Jukkis asked.
"Is this the right place?" I asked.
"Yes, yes. The address is right", Ooze said.
"Let's call to Frigor of Aaland Crackers", Particle said.
"Yes, let's do that", Jukkis said.
We went to find a telephone. After a little while we found one.
"Does anybody have coins?" Awcy asked.
"Here you are", Particle said and gave him couple coins.
Awcy phoned to Frigor. We waited outside of the telephone box.
After a little while Awcy came out.
"OK, here is the story", Awcy said and continued: "The party is on next month!"
"What?!" We all shouted.
"Yes, the party is on next month. It's in July, not June!!!"
"Oh fuck", Ooze damned.
"Who the fuck is guilty for this?" I asked from them.
"Let me think", Particle said. "If I remember right, it was Jukkis who told us
when the party takes place!"
"Yes, you're right", Awcy said. "Jukkis, you're in deep trouble!"
"Who, me?" Jukkis said and smiled.
"Yes, you", I said.
"Well, you know that I'm not too good in English. How should I know the
difference between June and July?"
"You don't know the difference between your head and your arse!" Awcy said.
"OK, OK, I'm guilty", Jukkis said and continued: "But I have a solution to this
problem."
"What's that?" Ooze asked.
"Let's go to England. There should be a party next week", Jukkis said.
"Next week?" Particle shouted. "That's a quite long time to be in England.
What are we gonna do there?" I asked.
"You know. We'll party like hell!" Jukkis said happily.
"I'll go!" Awcy said smiling.
"I'll go too" I said.
"Well, I'll come too. Who else is able to drive and take care of you", Ooze
said.
"Well, I must come too. I'm not going home by myself", Particle said.
"Ok, it's a deal. Let's go to England!!!" Jukkis said.
So we left the dull Maarianhamina and started our trip to England.
But that's a different story...

Brainie of Clones 22.01.1994.

(Continues in "DREAM OF THE HAMMER")