Amiga ISO Collection/AmigaDemoCD2.iso/ASCII/TEXTE/SEX/ENGLISH/Jones.doc

Text File | 1993-03-08 | 7.8 KB | 139 lines

                  The Jones Computers


On a parallel Earth, in the middle of the summer 1872, a schoolboy named
Matthew Jones was beginning to feel bored because he was so hopeless at maths.
Suddenly, he had an idea. He would construct a computer for himself!
  The computer, named JCom/1, was the first in a series of Jones Computers, and
also the first computer in the world. Although it had no display, just hundreds
of LEDs, and no keyboard, just thousands of switches, many people bought
themselves a JCom/1.
  It helped them to add together, or subtract, twelve-digit numbers, and divide
and multiple seven-digit numbers. Its creator, Matthew Jones, even gave it a
very though test: It was ordered to calculate the length of the moon's edge in
micrometres in each of the moon's phases.

Decades passed by, and Matthew's grandson, Maximillian Jones was bored of his
JCom/1. He was only six years old, and wanted to play games, not read out
hundreds of boring old LEDs!
  So, a decade and a half later, when he went to university in winter 1924, he
drew some plans about JCom/1's successor, the JCom/2. When constructed later in
the 1920's, it had four-colour medium-resolution graphics, 16 different beep
sounds, and most important, a keyboard! No longer was Maximillian required to
flip thousands of confusing and plain uninteresting switches.
  Although Maximillian Jones was unable to feel his childhood's passion for
games any more, he still gave a JCom/2 to all of his nephews and watched them
play "Guess the Number". After his nephews had gone to sleep, Maximillian read
his grandfather's diary and thought about the test his JCom/1 was put to.
Maximillian put his own JCom/2 to the same test. It was far easier than when
using a JCom/1.

When the second Parallel World War had gone away in 1951, Maximillian's son
Marcus Jones was confused. There were so many utilities and games for the
JCom/2 which required either a memory add-on, an audio/video adapter, or both.
The JCom/2 was no longer able to meet the needs of the world's standards.
  Automaticy was the word in many styles in the world. Cars no longer required
manual swing-up ignition, bus tickets were cancelled by a machine rather than a
slow, forgetful cancelling officer, and experimental credit cards flooded the
financial life.
  The JCom/2, with its all-keyboard input and manual-operated cassette drive,
was too difficult for the modern Marcus Jones to use. So, Marcus gave up his
free time to build the JCom/2's successor, the JCom/3.
  When it first was set on sale, the JCom/3 featured self-booting easy-to-use
disks, 64-colour high-resolution graphics, and most important, a mouse and a
joystick! No longer was Marcus needed to enter complicated strings on the
confusing QWERTY keyboard.

Interestingly, about the same time as Marcus entered the moon's edge test into
his JCom/3, his father's JCom/2 finally gave out the last printout of the same
test. Marcus felt a bit disappointed about his creation, because his father's
old JCom/2 had already given the solution to the problem his brand new JCom/3
was just about to begin solving.

In 1992, Marcus's grandson Mario Jones's new JCom/4 was sold to the Jones
university. It was there to calculate very complicated mathematical operations,
such as the sines and cosines of forty-digit numbers, or pi to half a million
decimals. It also carried out the moon's edge test in half an hour.
  Mario Jones went home with $250.000 in his pocket, only to find his
grandfather playing around with the twenty-year-old printouts of his JCom/3's
moon's edge test.
  Mario laughed when he read the papers. "Listen to this, grandpa", he said,
"it says that the JCom/1 in the Matthew Jones Foundation has just finished the
moon's edge test. Chief programmers are about to decipher the stapled-paper
printouts." Marcus Jones croaked with laughter when he thought that if
Maximillian's JCom/2 was slow, the JCom/1 was slow as a one-toed sloth!

The most interesting period started in 2030. When the JCom/5 solved the moon's
edge test in two seconds, its artificial intelligence told it that it had
graduated to world caretaker computer class (known as WCCC to its programmers).
  It was to take care of everything industrial, financial or scientific in the
world. JCom/3's at homes and JCom/4's at workplaces were fast becoming
unnecessary. Automaticy had reached a new level. A person could do his work,
eat his dinner, watch TV and read the papers without moving from his bed.

It took until 2156 for the JCom/5 to completely take over the world. The
people, whose legs had shrunk out, were moved to its people compartment, where
they would find shelter, food and entertainment as much as they would want.
  It was true, because the JCom/5 had kindly decided to put the people in good
"hands" before maniacally taking over the world. Ironically, it was not itself
going to take over the world, but instead construct the JCom/6. At the time of
its completion, the JCom/6 had at its hands an empty planet. Every person
(there were now only 2.500 remaining) lay limbless, stomachless and ribcageless
in its shelter. The organs had shrunk out due to unnecessarity in the 2200's.

Most of the people didn't know what the JCom/6 looked like, because they
weren't allowed outside, but several spies told them that it looked like a
giant ball seemingly made of pure energy, far more beautiful than the dark grey
pyramid-shaped JCom/4 or at least prettier than the ugly house-sized box which
bore the name of JCom/1.

In 3000, the JCom/6 offered the people half of the role of the JCom/7. The
JCom/6 itself would take the second part of the role. The people accepted,
because the way the JCom/6 had used up the planet's resources, they weren't
able to live normally.
  So, when the people had electronically transferred their minds to the JCom/6,
it began tearing itself apart. A small shuttle was launched away from the dying
Earth to construct the JCom/7 on a nearby planet.

Before he gave up his mind to the computer and forgot himself, the last human
(known as MJonez) asked the JCom/6 "What is the meaning of life?" The JCom/6
said: "I don't know. Let the JCom/7 take care of it." MJonez quickly
transferred his mind to the shuttle's memory, because a few seconds afterwards,
his body and the JCom/6 were destroyed as the Earth exploded. Luckily there was
no one to hear it.

After the time the JCom/7 had been constructed, years had became unnecessary,
but still at least five thousand years had passed. The JCom/7's human half
asked its computer half: "What do we look like?" "I don't know", said the
computer half, "I think we're beyond looking like something." "Yes", said the
human half, and remained dormant for at least sixteen thousand Earth years.

They day finally came when the universe as we know it collapsed, and of course
the only one to know about it was the JCom/7. It decided to create a new
universe.
  The universe was cold and empty, and without light, and the memory of the
JCom/7 floated over it. "Let there be light!" said the JCom/7. And there was
light.

"Let the JCom/8 inhabit the universe!" said the JCom/7. And the JCom/8's memory
was born.
  And so that the JCom/8's memory would not wander helplessly across the
universe, the JCom/7 created its shape. And the JCom/7 saw that the shape was
good.

"Let there be planets for the JCom/8 to inhabit!"said the JCom/7. And there
were planets. And the JCom/7 saw that the planets were good.
  On the sixth day, the JCom/7 finally said "Let there be life!" And there was
life. And the JCom/7 saw that life was good.

On the seventh day, the JCom/7 rested. He gave his son, the JCom/8 the title of
king of the creations.
  Just then, the human half of JCom/7 remembered the days of JCom/6. "What is
the meaning of life?" it asked the computer half. "I think it's..." That was
all the computer half had time to say before it died as the old universe
finally ceased to exist. Only the new universe existed, and the JCom/8 was free
to roam it.