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- There has been considerable controversy in the past few months
- over the abusive use of taxpayers money. Studies conducted by
- the federal government such as the sexual tendencies of a snail,
- or the effect of rock and roll music on three month old babies,
- have come under fire from concerned citizen organizations.
- Finally, after seven years of study and a 5.8 billion dollar
- budget, the senate committee on human behavior has released a
- most valuable and comprehensive report: "The Psychological Study
- of Types of Men in Public Restrooms." here are the committee's
- findings.
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- 1. EXCITABLE: Shorts half twist around. Can't find hole, rips
- shorts.
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- 2. SOCIABLE: Joins friend in pee, if he has to or not.
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- 3. NOSEY: Looks into next urinal to see how other guy is fixed.
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- 4. CROSSEYED: Looks into urinal on left, pees into one at
- center.
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- 5. TIMID: Can't urinate if someone else is watching. Flushes
- urinal as if he did. Sneaks back later.
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- 6. INDIFFERENT: All urinals are being used. Pees in sink.
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- 7. CLEVER: No hands. Shows off by fixing tie, looks around and
- pees on floor.
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- 8. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down, and across urinal. Tries
- to hit fly.
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- 9. ABSENTMINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pees in pants.
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- 10. DISGUSTED: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
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- 11. SNEAK: Farts silently while leaking. Acts very innocent.
- Knows that other guy in next stall will be blamed.
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- 12. CHILDISH: Leaks directly into urinal bottom. Likes to see
- bubbles.
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- 13. PATIENT: Stands very close for a long time waiting. Reads
- newspaper with free hand.
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- 14. EFFICIENT: Waits till he has to take a crap, then does both.
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- 15. TOUGH: Bangs dong against urinal to dry it.
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- 16. FAT: Has to stand back to take a long blind shot at urinal.
- Misses and pees on shoe.
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- 17. STONED: Holds left thumb in right hand. Pees in pants.
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- 18. GAY: Waits till one urinal is left, then offers to share it.
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- 19. IMPATIENT: Always in a hurry. Pees down back of guy using
- urinal.
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- 20. WORRIED: Not sure where he has been lately, makes quick
- inspection.
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- 21. DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pees in
- pants.
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- 22. LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in, drowns.
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- 23. CONCEITED: Holds two inch dong like baseball bat.
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- 24. WITHDRAWN: Places feet in urinal, pees down leg.
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- 23. CONCEITED: Holds two inch dong like baseball bat.