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- @BEGIN_FILE_ID.DIZ
- Wild Nuns..#3:
- Sister Mary Comfort,
- (story, Fm, humor, sperm) 02/02
- @END_FILE_ID.DIZ
-
-
- Shortly after I stopped coming the Sister surfaced for air. She let me
- go and leaned back, panting hard. I sat down on the floor with my back against
- the door, my hands clamped onto the plaster image of a man in the rapture of
- pain and agony, nailed to a board. I looked up at her with my best innocent-
- little-angel look, holding the crucifix to my chest.
- "Thank you, Sister Mary, for a the lesson I shall not soon forget." I
- whispered hoarsely.
- "NO, thank YOU, Billy for being a rare and attentive student." She
- beamed a broad smile and held out her hands. I laid my palms in hers. "The
- most important part to remember is that you have spilled no seed!" The
- corners of her eyes crinkled up and she started snorting in an attempt to hold
- back a belly laugh.
- "Not a drop, Sister." I giggled and clamped my lips tightly. We both
- drew our foreheads together wracked with silent laughter.
- "And you have to promise to me never to think of making any without
- me helping you not to spill it! Okay? Promise me." She gave me a big, soft
- kiss on the lips.
- "I promise, I never want to be a sinner........"
- Tap-tap. A sharp rap from the left confessional cut our mirth short.
- "Hello, Father, are you there Father Ott?" A muffled female voice came
- drifting through the wall.
- The Sister placed a big left hand on my head and firmly pushed me down
- while her right index finger crossed her pursed lips in a sign to keep quiet.
- She flipped her gown over me and I was in total darkness huddled between two
- great legs, clutching Jesus with my pants down around my ankles.
-
-
- The Southern Cross
-
-
- It was a moist, heated little world below, my eyes became used to the
- blackness. I could just barely see my hand if I held it to my face. Some-
- times I heard parts of sentences filtered by the thick material; at other
- times we managed to communicate by other means. The Sister was counselling a
- penitent who was having trouble with her boyfriend. I strained to hear.
- "----with a Nun? Is that okay?" said a young woman in a forced whis-
- per.
- "Where have I heard that before? Of course it is! The Father is
- sick. I am filling in for him tonight. How have you sinned, praise Jesus!"
- Sister Mary Comfort got right to the point.
- I heard enough to piece together some of what was going on. It had
- something to do with my own problem, only she called his cock a 'penis,' like
- they do in the medical books. The Sister asked her a lot about this guy's
- cock and the answers were slow in coming. I was distracted by the Sister's
- legs. The fuzz on her thighs was soft and when I stroked them she spread her
- legs out to the walls. I felt her hands close to the sides of my head through
- the cloth, forcing me to nod up and down. I took that to mean 'yes.' She was
- trying to encourage me. Resuming the exploration in my steamy tent, I reached
- the tuft of soft hair where I knew all the best parts lie, and gently began
- to rub it up and down.
- "And your boyfriend, has he had sex...OH YES!..um with you yet?" the
- Sister resumed, after some input from below.
- "No he hasn't----are you okay, Sister?" the young woman whispered with
- obvious concern.
- "You must excuse me my emotional outbursts from time to time. We nuns
- have bouts of rapture with Jesus and this is perfectly normal." The Sister
- resumed her inquiry. "If he has not had sex with you yet, where does it all
- go? Has he wasted the blessing of the Lord?"
- "NO, no, he would never do that. He, um, well, he puts it in a jar in
- the freezer." Her voice became small and trailed off.
- "WHAT? He puts his seed in a JAR?" Sister Mary sounded perplexed.
- "What in heavens name FOR?"
- "Well, Sister, he says he can thaw it out and use it after we get
- married and then he wouldn't be sinning. Is that true? Does that square with
- God? I am confused when he says those--" The woman drifted off again. I was
- getting real interested in other things below. Her hair was moist and had an
- earthy smell. This was
- an exciting sign. The library books said this meant the females were becoming
- 'receptive,' meaning they were liking this. I was liking it too. I was getting
- pretty stiff again and I didn't need a book to tell me what that meant. There
- was supposed to be an opening under this hair called a vagina, so I parted it
- with my hands to either side and began rubbing there. It was very wet and
- slippery. Sister Mary grabbed my head again and moved it side to side slowly.
- I took that to mean that I was rubbing the wrong place, so I searched other
- areas until the no became yes, and finally, a very strong and eager yes. This
- was the spot. I gave it priority.
- "Oh, I don't know." The whispering woman was sort of embarrassed by
- the bulk of the details the Sister was trying to pull out of her. "Maybe a
- quart or so. Does it matter?'
- "A QUART? You have a QUART of frozen semen in your refrigerator? Sweet
- Mother Mary ! A whole---ahh---(gulp), a whole frozen----AH--AHH--(ahem). Ex-
- cuse me, dear, I--OH!---OHHH!" It was very exciting to have the Sister in my
- hands like this. She was very responsive. Her feet were climbing the doorsills
- as she slid down on the vinyl seat to expose more of herself to my attentions.
- I tried not to touch myself but I couldn't help it. I just had to! I was going
- to come again and I felt it rising from below. I kept rubbing us both. Soon I
- would have a problem.
- "Rapture again?" came the small voice addressing Sister Mary Comfort.
- "Perhaps I should go?"
- "No! You must tell me more about this saving of sEEEEED!----OH!--Oh-OH
- DEAR GOD!--OHHH! "The Sister was having a problem concentrating on the
- confession. Her knees were knocking on the walls and she had slid down on her
- back. I had to cease, not because she might attract unwanted attention, but
- because I had just come. I had a pool of semen in my hand I couldn't spill.
- The Sister made me promise I wouldn't. There was nothing else to do; I sucked
- it up! Maybe Sister Mary liked the stuff, but I could not swallow it for
- anything. It was like snot or eggwhites, really creepy. The door of the
- confessional slammed as the poor lady left her strange rapturous nun in
- a state of suspension.
- I was about to throw up when I felt those large hands clasp my head
- again. This time she wasn't doing any shaking 'yes' or 'no's. My head got
- pulled right into it; directly into the SPOT! Immediately I was blessed with
- inspiration. I didn't need to spill my seed at all, I would give it to Sister
- Mary Comfort right here, between these sets of lips. I was very proud. Some-
- times, when I had a great big hocker, like when I have a cold or something, I
- would curl up my tongue with real skill so it was all in one glop, and let
- that stuff fly. Well that's what I did. My tongue went way up in there with
- all those seeds. It felt good to the Sister too so I kept it up for quite a
- while. Each time my tongue shot in she screamed something about the Lord.
- Maybe she got possessed or something. Sister Mary was sounding like a holy
- roller; like a bunch of them!
- After a couple of minutes of this she seemed to go wild. The thumping
- and bucking got scary and the screaming was busting my eardrums. Finally I was
- able to stop because she went limp. I thought she died but then I realized she
- had only fainted. Sometimes the Sisters faint. That's how rapture
- works. I think. Anyway, I crawled out from under and put my pants back on.
- I smoothed her gown and made her look neat. She had a peaceful look on her
- face with that big, wide smile. I know she would be glad I kept my promises.
- No one was in the church when I left so I washed my face in the
- Baptismal. It was late. In a few hours I would be back here for Sunday mass.
- My parents were good Catholics, they always dropped off my sister and me in
- time for the service.
-
-
-
- Denouement
-
-
-
- Jenny was tearing through the house like a jackrabbit and I was right
- on her tail. Our goal was the toilet, and I prayed the lid was up. When you
- gotta barf all bets are off. I was trying to grab her jeans so I could get to
- hug the bowl first but she was too fast. Her head was deep down in there pas-
- sing breakfast in big yawns. I couldn't pull her off. I puked in the sink.
- The sight of scrambled eggs, sausages and orange juice was enough to make me
- start coughing up bits of last night's liver and onions. Jenny was dry but
- she still kept retching. I wanted to give her a whirly for beating me to it,
- but I'm not a mean kid and, after all, it was all my fault. Now I had to
- clean up the mess in the sink. Why my fault? It is a sort of complicated
- story. Breakfast wasn't really bad or anything; it was just GROSS! I'll start
- back at a point after I had confessed to Sister Mary Comfort.
- The Sister and I were pretty close for the rest of the school year.
- Although I wanted to confess to her a lot, Father Ott was back on the job. I
- couldn't make up sins to confess, and anyway she was real sharp on that deal.
- She did make sure I wasn't spilling any seed, though. Every three or four days
- she would ask me to come back after school. We were worried that if I got too
- backed up I might sin again and Father Ott would have to deal with me.
- My folks weren't rich enough to have two kids in parochial school so
- it was my time to switch to public school. I was going to go to Junior high
- and leave all the nuns and crucifixes and praying and those sort of things.
- In Junior High you don't have uniforms or discipline or catechism. You Do have
- sports and libraries with NEW books in them and, best of all, pretty Protes-
- tant girls. It was sad to leave my old friends and school, but Sister Mary
- Comfort offered to tutor me personally for a couple of hours each day all
- summer. She said I was very smart and she wanted to see me get a good start.
- The Sister seemed to change as the summer wore on. She got nicer and
- more pretty. I noticed she no longer carried a ruler and wasn't sarcastic and
- mean anymore. She seemed to always be eating, though, mostly potato chips and
- Coke at first, but later, when we studied in the rectory, she would raid the
- refrigerator constantly. I would have to say that by the end of summer
- vacation she looked kind of round. We had a swell time with the studies. She
- was passionate about history and knew whole lots about kings and dictators
- and other systems of government. We took long walks down by the river and she
- would sometimes kiss me when we were alone. The Sister said kissing on the
- lips was okay because the Church didn't say anything about it. We kissed lots.
- Labor Day weekend my dad got a call from the church. He told me that
- Sister Mary Comfort wanted to see me in the rectory right away. It sounded
- serious so I ran all the way over. The Sister was sitting at the kitchen table
- sobbing. I sat down across from her. Her head was down as she quietly sniffled.
- When she looked at me, she seemed awfully sad. Her eyes were swollen and red.
- She reached over the table and I put my hands on hers.
- "Billy, I have to leave; I must go tomorrow and I will never return."
- I felt her hands tremble. I tried to say something but she waved me off. "I am
- going to Italy. My order is sending me away because I have been visited by a
- miracle. I have a condition they need to examine. Don't worry, I'm not sick.
- I just have to go away so I can serve the Lord in a special way. Please
- promise me that you will do your best in school and remember, always be a good
- man and help others. I know you like to tell stories, Billy, just don't tell
- them without warning people first. You could write them all down on paper and
- put them into a book. That would make me happy. It really would. Do you
- understand what I am saying, dear?"
- I was dumbstruck and crying too. I thought she would always be here
- in this little church. She always has! It was cruel to take her away from
- me. We were best friends. We were more than that! I was outraged. I stood and
- shook my fist.
- "Sister, they can't do this. Who are they to take you away forever
- just because of some medical condition? Can't you do something? This is hardly
- fair. They can't claim to be Christians and do this to us. I'm gonna find out
- what's going on and then I'll..."
- Sister Mary Comfort stood shakily and walked over to me. Her eyes
- were wet with tears. "Please, Billy, there are so many things you don't know
- about the Catholic Church. You must trust me, this is the best for everyone.
- You are very young and these feelings will pass. I am leaving now for a great
- adventure in a foreign country. Please hold me one last time?"
- I did. We sobbed and kissed and it was all very sad. Her cab arrived
- just as we parted. That was the last time I saw Sister Mary Comfort. I cried
- all the way home. I cried for days.
- The new school was very modern. It was called Clarence Kimball Junior
- High School. Schools were always named after dead guys. So many kids!
- Hunreds of them. The Sister was right. Pretty soon other things became more
- important. I had studies and clubs and sports but there was still one outstan-
- ding problem: no seed spilling. Since my little sister and I shared the same
- bedroom (actually, the attic) I posed the difficulty to her. I had hoped she
- would be sympathetic to my needs. Jenny slapped my face. She said I better
- keep that "snake" in my pants or she would rat on me about me beating off.
- What else could I do but put it in a can and freeze it? I kept it in an old
- tuna fish can way in the back under the frozen liver. Jenny knew about it
- and always threatened to tell Mom whenever something wasn't going her way.
- I had to keep my promise to Sister Mary Comfort in order for promises to
- have any meaning at all.
- After Christmas I was down at the Italian newsstand buying some gum
- when I noticed that all the papers had the same bold headline, "MIRACOLO".
- I read enough of the English language Vatican Observer to have the guy behind
- the stand give me a dirty look. It seems an American nun in a small town in
- Italy had a baby on Christmas eve. The article said the nun was a "certified
- virgin," whatever that meant. I guess she was a holy mother now just like the
- Virgin Mary. I thought to myself that this was just another Christmas miracle
- story like seeing Jesus in the tea leaves or something; but when I read that
- the nun's name was Sister Mary Comfort, I was speechless. My nun was now the
- holy virgin mother of a ten pound baby girl! One of the Italian papers had a
- picture if the "Miracle Madonna." Sure enough, there was the Sister in her
- hospital bed surrounded by priests and nuns and flowers, holding her little
- miracle. To tell the truth, the baby looked exactly like my ugly little sister
- when she was born. All babies look the same I think.
- I puzzled over these things all the way home. The Sister was given
- to some pretty weighty raptures when I knew her. She must have received God
- right there in our little church. I decided I had better start going to Mass
- again. Sister Mary Comfort was right, the Lord does work his will in many
- mysterious ways!
- I guess that's all there is to tell about that. Except about the big
- barfing incident. My dad complained that the eggs tasted kind of funny and
- my mother said she had been looking all over for her can of bacon drippings
- and that someone put it in the freezer. My sister looked at me with a
- combination of horror and disgust. I felt the metallic taste of bile rising
- in my throat. My sister put her hand to her mouth and gave a little burp. We
- looked at each other again and bolted for the john. Yeah, I know, after all
- that trouble I went and spilled my seed anyway.
- Time to confess again.
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