Amiga ISO Collection/AmigaDemoCD2.iso/ASCII/TEXTE/SEX/ADULTSHARE/A/ASS14760.TXT

Text File | 1994-03-26 | 34.8 KB | 658 lines

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    Whenever Matt saw her his heart raced.  And then she was always
gone, into the classroom, or the parking lot, as fast as she had appeared,
she was gone.  He had hung out at Mike's a lot, but she was never there.
    One night he went over to his house, to work on their biology
project.  It was due the next day, and they'd both been slacking off.
They had their notes, but still had to write the paper.  He was in a bad
mood, because Mike kept promising to work on his part, but he never did.
It was already eight o'clock.
    "We'll write it in my sister's room," said Mike, as they ran up the
stairs.
    And she was there, laying on the bed watching TV.  He tried to act
casual.  Dana was on the phone, but she waved to Mike to use her computer.
They pulled in another chair, and Matt sat down.
    "Hi Jen," Mike had groaned.
    "Hi Mikey," she'd said.  Mikey? he wondered.
    The minute Dana had gotten off the phone, it had rung again.
    "Hello?" Dana said.  She looked at Jen.  "Um, what if I say she's
not here?. . .  Well then, what if I say she is?"
    Jen raised her eyebrows at her friend.
    Dana raised hers back, covering up the receiver.  "It's Ryan,"
she explained.  "He said, 'Is my girlfriend there?' and I said, 'What if
she's not?' and he goes, 'Then I'll be happy.'"
    "He'll be happy?" asked Jen.
    "Yeah, and then I say, 'What if she is here,' and he says, 'Then
I'll be sad.'"
    "Oh really?" Jen snorted.  "Well I wouldn't want to make him sad!"
    "She doesn't want to make you sad," she said into the phone.  She
paused.  "Oh.  He says he'll be sad because he's really tired and he wants
to go to bed."
    "So go to bed," Jen said plainly.
    "Go to bed," relayed Dana.  "Oh. . .  Just a second."  She threw
Jen the cordless phone.
    "If you don't want to talk to me then don't," said Jen.  "So go to
bed!  I'm not standing in your way. . .  Yeah. . .  Oh. . .  Yeah, I know.
. .  Why are they there?. . .  I don't care, I was just asking. .  .  Hey,
I'll let you go if you're so tired. . .  Really?  Oooh, Ryan!  Bad!" she
teased.
    Matt was trying to listen in, but at the same time not be obvious,
i.e. keep telling Mike what to write next.
    She sat up.  "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?. . .  Sorry!.
. .  Yeah, yeah. . .  I just meant it's a Monday night.  I never said
that. . . "
    She clicked the phone off, and slammed it down on the bed.  Dana
took it, hanging it up.  They're fighting! thought Matt.
    "What?  Did he hang up on you?" she asked.
    "No.  I hung up on him.  Wait give me the phone."
    "Why?  Are you going to call him back?"
    "Yeah. . . "
    "No!  Don't!  Wait five minutes first."
    She sighed.
    "What was his problem?"
    She lay back down on the bed.  "He was being such a prick!  I was
like, 'Fine!  You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to!' And he's
like, 'Oh, I'm drunk,' And so I'm like, 'Ooh!  Bad,' and he gets all mad,
and says, 'Don't *you* lecture me about drinking!'"
    "What a dick!"
    "Yeah, and I'm like, 'Ryan, that's not what I meant.' I mean, he
never drinks on a weeknight.  Usually not even on a weekend, you know?  So
I said that, and he goes 'Oh.  Well, whatever.' So I hung up on him."
    "What's his problem?" asked Dana.
    "I don't know.  His asshole friends were over there, and you know
how he's different when they're there. . . "
    "Nah, it's probably because he's drunk.  He's nice to you Jen,"
interrupted Mike.
    "Well he's still being a dick."
    "Do you guys fight a lot?" asked Matt, curious.
    "No, hardly ever.  We've only fought like, four times!"
    "Have you guys been going out a long time?" he asked.
    "Three years," she told him.
    "Wow," he said.
    "Right.  I don't need this shit," she said.
    "Jen!  Come on, don't cry!" exclaimed Dana sympathetically.
    Matt looked over, she was rubbing her eyes, laying on the bed.
She sniffled.  Yup, she was starting to cry.  He couldn't believe it.  Her
boyfriend was such a jerk, he would always want to talk to her if he was
him.
    Dana leaned over the bed, hugging her.  "Come on, you know he
loves you.  Sometimes he's just in bad moods.  Aren't you ever in bad
moods too?  It doesn't mean you don't love him still."
    She nodded, swallowing her tears.  The phone rang.
    "Hello?" asked Dana.  She looked at Jen.
    "I'm not here.  He can be happy," she said sarcastically.
    "What if I say she's not here?" asked Dana.  "Oh yeah?. . .  Well
what if I say she is here?. . .  Well what if I say she's here but that
she. . .  Okay!  Okay!"
    She handed Jen the phone.  "He's all, 'Will you just give the
fucking phone to my girlfriend!"" she imitated.
    Jen snatched it up.  "Don't you speak to my friends that way!"
she screamed.  "No, *you* listen!. . .  Goddamn you, what the hell's your
problem. . .  No, it is not *me* . . .  Why are you being like this Ryan!"
she cried.
    Matt and Mike raised their eyebrows at each other.  "Should we
leave?" he whispered to Mike.  Mike shook his head.
    She continued yelling at him, starting to cry again.  Matt wanted
to comfort her.  "I never said anything bad about them!. . .  Unlike what
they say about me though, huh?. . .  No!. . .  It's different, Ryan, it's
different!" she sobbed, her face in her hands, her chin resting on her
knees as she sat back against the wall.  "Oh, oh.  Not because you don't
want me to be upset. . .  Oh, isn't that just fucking classic," she
snapped sarcastically.  "Listen to this you guys," she told them.  "Ryan
says, 'Don't cry Jen.  Don't cry in front of your friends; it makes me
look like the bad guy!' Well why do you think I'm crying!" she screamed
into the phone.
    Matt sat there watching her, as she cried and argued.  It isn't
fair, he thought.  Why does he get her when he treats her like this?
    She swallowed her sobs a bit, and got quiet, listening to him
talk.  "Uh huh. . .  Yes!. . .  But I'm just telling you Ryan, it's
different lately. . .  It is!. . .  I haven't seen you hardly at all since
school started. . .  I know that!. . .  But, you obviously have time for
*them*!  You didn't invite me. . .  Yeah, I'm sure they just came over and
forced the beer down your throat while you protested, saying, 'No!  I have
to study!'" she said sarcastically.  "See, now you're not even listening!.
. .  Bullshit!. . .  What?" she gasped.  "*What*?  What did you just say?"
she gasped, starting to cry again.  "I can't believe you just said that!
That was over two *fucking* years ago!  I can't believe this!" she sobbed.
"You never forgave me for that, did you!. . .  I never said I was!. . .
Yeah, right. . .  No you don't!.  . .  Oh yeah, well I'm sure getting
drunk will really contribute to excellency tomorrow during practice!. . .
Oh, yeah, well maybe they can suck your dick from now on since you love
them so much!"
    Matt widened his eyes, and Mike tried to keep from laughing.
    "Go Jen!" Mike laughed.
    "You tell me to fucking shut up one more time and we're through, ya
got it!. . .  Yes, you did!  You just said it!. . .  Oh, same damn thing!.
. .  I could too!. . .  I don't want to fight with you!  You started it!.
. .  Well what am I just supposed to ignore it?  That is not going to
help," she said.  "It's not.  You don't want to talk.  You don't call me
anymore.  We don't go out anymore. . .  Well, not like we used to!. . .  I
know that," she whispered.  "I know, but you don't tell me these things.
I'm not a part of your life. . .  I know. . .  Yeah, I know. . .  Why?!?
Because you're friends just came back in!  Is it embarrassing to fight
with your girlfriend in front of them!. . .  You're so different. . .
See, now you're not even talking to me!. . .  You're not, you're talking
to them!. . .  Oh, I see.  See, you can't bring yourself to apologize or
say you love me in front of them. . .  No, not in front of *them*!. . .
You can talk to them all you want," she said sweetly, hanging up on him.
    She wiped her eyes, still crying.
    "Come on, Jen," said Dana, wrapping her arms around her.  "It'll be
okay.  What did he say?"
    "He's just such a jerk," she cried.  "He's all, 'Oh, like you're
perfect!  At least I don't lie to you!'"
    "What?  When did you lie to him?"
    "Fucking remember *Brett*," she sobbed.  "Fucking two *years* ago!"
    "Oh my God, he brought that up?  I can't believe it!" exclaimed
Dana.
    "That's the only time I've *ever* lied to him.  This is supposed to
be the best year, senior year!  And look what's happened to us," she
whispered.
    "It's okay," said Dana.  "He loves you, he's just stressed with
school and college and football and everything."
    She nodded, still crying.  She lay back on the bed.  Matt and Mike
worked on the project for awhile, but he kept looking over at her.
    Awhile later the phone rang again.
    "Hello?" groaned Dana.  "Yeah, just a second."
    She held the phone out, and Jen shook her head.
    "She doesn't want to talk to you.  I don't blame her either. . .
Yeah, I know you do. . .  What?. . .  Then why do you. . .  Yeah, aright."
She held the phone out again.  Jen still shook her head.
    "I think he's sorry. . . " she told her.  Jen said nothing.  "No,
she won't!" she said into the phone.  "No, she's right here, she just
doesn't want to. . .  She won't take it. . .  Aright, I guess.  But if she
leaves she leaves," she told him.
    Jen still lay on the bed, facing the wall.  Dana pushed a button
on the phone base, putting it on speakerphone.
    "Jen. . . "  said a male voice.  "Come on, I'm sorry.  I am!"
    She didn't answer him.  Matt listened intently.
    "Jen, please.  I don't want to break up with you.  You know that I
love you," he said.
    "Yeah, I'm sure your friends aren't in the room," she sniffled.
    "What?  Aright, fine!  Hold on!"
    She cried, her face in her hands.  They could hear him as he
yelled for his friends to come in the room.
    "Okay, are you guys all here?" he asked.  He sounded drunk.  A
chorus of male voices sounded.  "Now my girlfriend.  Her name is Jen by
the way and she's very nice and very beautiful.  I love my girlfriend a
lot," he whispered.  Jen sobbed.  "And I'm sorry I was a jerk.  And I'm
saying this in front of my friends so they know too that I'm a jerk.  Jen,
I love you," he whispered.  "Please talk to me.  I'm too drunk to come see
you 'cause I can't drive 'cause I'm drunk.  And I can't find my car," he
whined.
    Jen sobbed, laughing too.
    "Your car's in your driveway!" someone at his house hooted.
    Crying, she got up and took the phone.
    "Ryan, you're drunk," she cried.  "I do, I do. . .  I know, that's
why it scares me when it seems were growing apart. . .  Yes, definitely. .
.  Yeah, I know. . .  They're leaving?. . .  Yeah, it's almost 9:30. . .
What?. . .  You're mumbling!. . .  Yes. . .  *Hello*?. . .  Ryan," she
said gently.  "I can't hear you if you put it on mute. . .  I hear the
clicks. . . "
    She put the phone on mute herself.  "He's putting me on mute so I
can't hear him crying. . .  I can hear the clicks!" she told her.
    "Ohhh!  He's crying?" asked Dana.
    "Ry, I love you too. . .  I know. . .  Sure, I'll make you
spaghetti," she told him, giggling as Dana laughed.
    Matt laughed too.  "Man, how much did he have to drink?" asked
Mike.
    "Yes I do," she said in the phone.  "Yeah, sure. . .  Yes, I'll
remember the sauce. . .  Ryan, you are *drunk*!  How much did you drink?.
. .  Twelve?!?" she exclaimed.  "He had twelve beers and a 40 in the last
two hours," she told them.
    "Damn!" said Mike.
    "No, I'm not mad at you for drinking!. . .  I know. . .  No, you
do.  Better than me anyway. . .  Well, you sorta drank too much. . .  No!
You are *not* driving!. . .  Yes, I do believe you. . .  Yeah but how do
you need me?. . .  Ryan, I think you're too drunk, honey. . .  No!  That's
not what I meant!. . .  Ry, no!  Take it off mute, please. .  . "  She
covered up the receiver.  "Now he's all upset because he thinks I think he
can't get it up!" she whispered.
    "Well, he's drunk!" exclaimed Mike.
    "Yeah, I know but he. . .  What?" she asked into the phone.  "You
had it on mute I didn't hear the whole thing. . .  No, I know. . .  No,
no.  It's okay.  Ry, are you sure though?. . .  You're just drunk. . .
You know your rule. . .  I know. . .  Yes, babe, I understand. . .  I'm
sure you'll be passed out by the time I get up there anyway.  Plus you
need your sleep!. . .  Where are your parents, anyway?. . .  Oh.  They
didn't care?. . .  Oh. . .Yes, I do. . .  Baby, I love you," she
whispered.  "I know you are. . .  Okay. . .  Yes. . .  Yes, I love you. .
.  No, I'm not!. . .  Aright, goodnight. . . "
    She hung up the phone, groaning in frustration.  "He's like, 'I'm
about to pass out.  I'm drunk.  My posters are weird!  You're mad at me
still.  I love you.  I'm drunk!'" she mimicked.
    Dana and Mike laughed, and Matt smiled.  He felt miserable,
though.  She would never be his.  He should just get over her, he thought.
He was wasting his time.  But I love her, he thought.

*****

    About two weeks later Mike's parents went up to the city for their
anniversary, spending the night in a hotel.  Mike invited Matt, and this
other guy from their football team, Darin, to spend the night.  They rode
their bikes around town, eating at McDonald's and hitting on girls.
Finally they returned to his house, and with nothing else to do, settled
on a game of Life.  Matt felt a bit childish, but his sister and Jen
weren't there anyway.
    He asked about her.  "So, what did your sister do tonight?"
    "Huh?  Dana?  Oh, she went out."
    "Oh, yeah, with who?" he asked casually.
    "I don't know.  Probably Jen and Ryan and whoever.  Why?"
    "Oh, I was just wondering."
    "You like his sister!" teased Darin.
    "No I don't.  Shut up!"
    "No, he likes Jen!" laughed Mike.  "He wants her ass bad."
    "Shut up," he muttered.  "I do not."
    "Yuh huh!  You always ask about her."
    He ignored him, instead getting into the game.  He kicked himself
for asking about her so much; he hoped if he stopped for awhile Mike
wouldn't think he liked her.  He didn't know about Mike; he might tell
her.  He considered himself good friends with her, although Matt didn't
know how much truth there was to that.
    Awhile later they heard car doors slamming in the driveway.  The
side door opened and Jen walked in.  Matt gulped, taking a sip of his
soda.  She was dressed up, wearing a short plaid skirt and black
stockings.  From the look in her eyes he guessed she was either really
tired, really drunk, or both.
    "What are you playing?" she mumbled.  "Oh, Life!  I love this
game!"
    She sat down next to Matt.  She picked up Darin's little blue car
off the game board, and made it drive off the board in front of her.
"Vroom vroom!" she laughed, steering the little car off the table and onto
Matt's lap.
    "Hey!" he exclaimed.
    She ignored him, saying again, "Vroom vroom!"  She took the little
car, dragging it up his thigh and his chest while he shrank away from her,
blushing.  "Vroooooooooom," she said, now moving it up his shoulder and
his neck, giving him goose bumps from the cold plastic on his bare skin.
    Mike and Darin were laughing at her, the former saying, "Uh, Jen?
I think you're too drunk to drive!"
    She looked at him, tossing the piece onto the board.  "I'm not
drunk," she slurred.  She looked over at Matt.  "You know, you have really
pretty eyes," she told him.
    Matt blushed.  "Thanks."
    "Ooooo, Matt," teased Darin.
    Shut up!!! Matt thought.  But she didn't notice.
    "Ryan's pissed at me 'cause I'm drunk," she whined, putting her
head on the table.  She didn't move, and Matt wondered if she was passed
out.
    The door opened again, and Dana and three other people came in.
She still didn't move as Dana and the two of the guys went down the hall.
    The third guy looked at her, tickling her scalp with his hands.
She still didn't move.  Is that Ryan? wondered Matt.
    "So, I hear you're mad at her for being drunk," said Mike.  It *is*
him, thought Matt.
    He'd never seen him before, and he was impressed, although he
never would admit having checked out another guy.  He was tall, and
strong, with brown hair which needed a haircut.  Matt knew he was great
looking; he was exactly the kind of guy that every girl would check out
and compliment.
    Ryan rolled his eyes.  "No, I'm not.  Did she say that?"
    "Yeah."
    "Nah.  She's just drunk.  She keeps asking me if I'm mad.  Right,
hon?" he asked her.
    "You are too mad!" she answered, sitting up.  "Even if you don't
know or admit it."
    "Well if you keep saying that I will get mad," he laughed.
    "See!  You are too mad," she repeated, whining.  "I have to go to
the bathroom.  Because I'm drunk," she added, giving Ryan a pointed look
as she went down the hall.
    The other two guys came back in the kitchen.  They sat down at the
kitchen table with the freshman.  Matt felt like a baby, playing a board
game on a Friday night.
    "Let's play poker," said one of them.
    "Yeah.  Go get cards," Ryan said to Mike, sitting down as well.
    "Okay," said Mike, who went to his room.
    Ryan caught Matt looking at him.  "What's up?" he asked him.
    "Nuthin'," said Matt, looking away.
    "What are your guys' names?" he asked.
    "I'm Darin."
    "Matt," he said.
    "You guys freshmen?" Ryan asked.
    "Yeah," said Matt.
    He nodded.  "That's cool.  You guys play poker?" he asked.
    "Yeah, sure!" said Darin.
    "Sure," Matt said, although he hadn't.  "But I haven't in a while."
    "Oh, well, we're not playing for money," Ryan told him.
    "Oh.  Okay," said Matt.
    Mike returned with the cards and chips, and all six guys settled
into a game.  The other two guys were Corey and Alan.  Dana came in and
pulled up another chair, leaning her head on Alan's shoulder.
    "Where's Jen?" asked Ryan.
    "In my room, I think.  I don't know what she's doing."
    "Ah," he answered, raising Mike.
    Jen returned in a few minutes, her heels off.
    "What's up?" asked Ryan, his eyes on his cards.
    Slinking over to him, she straddled his lap, her head on his
shoulder.  Ryan continued playing, while she muttered a few things to him.
He shook his head, twice.
    Matt watched as she began covering him with soft kisses, her
tongue on his neck, and ear.  The other guys kept an eye on her too, Matt
noticed, while they continued the game.  She kept murmuring things in his
ear, and kissing him on the mouth, fully.  Ryan pretty much ignored her,
except to close his eyes when she kissed him.  Matt was at a perfect angle
to see both their tongues touching as they kissed.  She held his face in
her hands while she kept kissing him.
    "Harper," prompted Corey.  "Your turn!"
    Ryan took his mouth away, leaning forward to take his turn.  She
was pressed backward into the table, turning her head around to see
everyone.  Her eyes met Matt's briefly, as they did the other guys'.  Her
eyes were glassy.  She must be really drunk, thought Matt.
    She murmured again in Ryan's ear, and this time Matt heard what
she said, "Let's do it, come on, now."  Ryan shook his head again, saying,
"No!"
    Ryan won that game, laughing loudly at the others' misfortune.
While Alan shuffled, Jen leaned back onto the table, her legs straight out
behind Ryan's arms.  She stretched her arms out, groaning.  Ryan ignored
her still.  She reached back and pulled the clip out of her hair.  Raising
one leg over his shoulder, she sat back up, shaking her hair down.  Matt
widened his eyes at his view, as her skirt fell back up her legs,
revealing the top of her black stocking and several inches of thigh, and
finally the edge of her black underwear.
    "Is this turning you on?" she asked Ryan.
    "It's turning me on," said Alan, laughing.  Matt agreed silently,
squeezing his legs together.
    "Uh, am I hard?" Ryan asked sarcastically.
    The other guys laughed, and she responded by grinding her hips
into him, bucking against him while she laughed.
    "Knock it off," he snapped.
    "Ryan!" she whined.  "Come on, please?"
    The freshman guys couldn't believe their ears.  Here was a girl, a
real girl, begging to be fucked.  And more than that, the guy was turning
her down.
    "I said no!"
    She pouted, taking her leg off his shoulder.  "You're mad at me,"
she whispered, leaning on his shoulder.
    "I am not!" he insisted.  "I don't care if you're drunk but right
now I'm trying to play a simple game of poker.  Got it?  I think you need
to go to bed anyway," he added.
    "I'm not tired!" she whined.
    "Yes, you are," he told her.  "How many people here think Jen needs
to go to bed?" he asked loudly.
    "Raise your hand if you're sure!" giggled Jen.
    Dana, Mike, Alan, and Corey agreed with Ryan enthusiastically.
Matt didn't want her to go to bed though.
    "But I'm lonely," she whined.  "And it's scary in there."
    "Jen, I'll be right out here," Ryan told her gently.  "If any
robbers or rapists come in, just scream and I'll come in and protect you,
okay babe?"
    "But," she insisted.  "It's dark.  What if I can't see anything and
I think it's you and I let him?" she pouted.
    "Well," said Ryan.  "As soon as he takes out his little tiny dick
you'll know it's not me for sure, now won't you?" he grinned.
    Everyone laughed, including Jen.
    "But you promise you won't leave?" she asked him sadly.
    "Promise," he told her, giving her a kiss.
    "Okay," she said.  "But you have to put me to bed," she insisted.
    "Aright, after I win this hand."
    "You know I'm just kiddin'," she told him in his ear.  Ryan smiled
at her, giving her a kiss.
    Matt felt that same sickening pain in his stomach, the jealousy
and hurt eating away at him as he watched her with Ryan, knowing she would
never even consider him.  I'm just some stupid freshman, he thought, who
plays board games on a Friday night.
    After Ryan did win that hand, she dragged him out of the kitchen
and down the hall.
    "I guess he's out," said Darin with a grin.
    "Nah, he'll be out in a minute.  He doesn't fuck her when she's
drunk," said Corey.
    "Yeah, not when she's drunk," said Dana.
    "Why not?" asked Darin.
    Corey shrugged.  "I don't know, ask him."
    "I think it's because one time she like freaked out, and she didn't
know what was going on and who the hell he was.  I think she was high
though too.  But anyway he was pissed," said Dana.
    "I'd do her when she was drunk," said Darin.  Matt agreed silently.
    "I know, huh?" said Alan.  "He's got some control, man!  I'd hit
that anytime!"
    Dana sat up, rolling her eyes.  She crossed her legs.  Was she
going out with Alan? wondered Matt.
    Alan redealed, and they waited for Ryan to come back.  Dana walked
out of the kitchen, without saying anything.
    Ryan passed her as he walked in.  "Man, what's up?" he asked.
    Alan shrugged.  "I don't know."
    "Does she want to get back together?  She was all over you
tonight."
    "I don't know.  She's drunk I guess.  I don't really care," he
added.  "I'm sort of still getting together with Michelle."
    Ryan nodded, checking out his cards.
    "You hit that?" asked Corey.
    "Who, Michelle?  Nah, not yet," answered Alan.
    God, they all screw each other, thought Matt.  He wondered if Mike
minded when they talked about his sister.  Did he care if she had sex?
    "We almost did," continued Alan.  "I went muff diving," he added
with a grin.
    The other seniors laughed, and Darin groaned, "Echh!"
    They looked over at him.  "What, you ever done it?" challenged
Corey.
    Darin had to admit he hadn't.  "But that's nasty," he added.  "I'm
not going to ever do it."
    "Uh, you will if you want to get your dick sucked," laughed Alan.
"Besides, it's not nasty, huh?"
    "The way I see it," said Ryan, "is that you worship it
figuratively, so you might as well get on your knees and worship it
literally!  Besides, there ain't nuthin' better. . .  Well, besides
fucking or getting your dick sucked," he added.
    Alan agreed, nodding.
    "If I die with my head with my head up in that, I'll die a happy
man!" Ryan laughed.
    "It's great," agreed Corey.  "You just gotta get in there, and eat,
and eat. . . " he added, demonstrating with an open mouth and extended
tongue.
    Ryan and Alan laughed.  Matt laughed too, wanting to seem cool
anyway.
    "What's your favorite position?" he asked them.
    Alan shrugged.  "I don't know.  Doggy's pretty good."
    "They're all good," said Corey.  "Yeah, doggy's hot."
    "I love to be ridden *like a horse*," said Ryan.
    The others agreed enthusiastically.  "That's nice," said Alan.
"Just lay back, and get ridden."
    Matt tried to picture Jen on top.  Was that her favorite position
too?  Did she like to be eaten out a lot?  He would do it for her.  He
doubted she was nasty.
    "Man, you've got some control," Alan told Ryan.
    "Huh?" he grinned.
    "The girl's like, on your lap, begging you, and you say no!  What's
up?" asked Darin.
    "Nah," he told them.  "She didn't want it really.  She just wanted
to be alone together I think."
    Matt wondered about that.  Why didn't Ryan go spend time with her
instead of playing poker with his friends?
    "She gets like that sometimes," he continued.  "But then she passes
out.  And that's not too cool."  They knew what he meant.
    They played cards until almost two.  Matt thought Ryan was really
cool.  They talked about football, and Ryan seemed to like him.  Maybe he
would mention to Jen he thought Matt was cool?  They talked about sex of
course, the younger three not being able to speak from experience.  But
the older trio didn't make any virgin jokes, to their relief.  They felt
cool to be hanging out with them on a Friday night.
    Ryan got a few beers from the car, and he drank a bit.
    "You staying here, Harper?" asked Alan.
    "Yeah, probably.  That okay with you?" he asked Mike.
    Mike nodded.  "Sure.  You can sleep on the sofa bed in the living
room."
    Dana came out.  "I'm going to bed now," she said, sounding
annoyed.  "And Jen's sort of on my bed.  She's *out*."
    "Oh, yeah.  I thought you were asleep too." said Ryan.
    "No, I was on the phone."
    "Oh.  Yeah, well, aright," he told her.  "I'm out," he told the
guys, tossing his cards onto the table and standing up.
    "Yeah, I gotta get going," said Alan.
    "Yeah, see ya guys," said Corey to the three freshman at the table
as they left.
    Mike and Ryan went into the living room, opening the sofa bed.
Mike went and got sheets and a blanket while Matt hung around, wondering
when Jen was going to come out.
    Ryan brought her out, carrying her.  She was completely gone, her
head resting against his arm.  She was wearing some of Dana's shorts and a
T-shirt.  Did he undress her? wondered Matt.  He wondered what it might be
like to do that.
    He put her to bed, setting her gently down on the sheets, then
covering her up with the blanket.  He certainly cares for her a lot,
thought Matt, jealous.  Ryan kicked his shoes off, then pulled off his
T-shirt.  Matt noticed how muscular he was.  He climbed into bed next to
her, on top of the blankets.  Matt still stood in the kitchen doorway,
watching them, as Ryan smoothed her hair, then kissed her cheek.  His eyes
filled with tears, as he once again realized she would never be his.
    Ryan looked up.  "Hey, can you turn out the light?" he mumbled,
tired.
    Matt nodded, and he and Mike went upstairs.
    Matt and Darin slept on the floor in sleeping bags.  All three
were tired, and so they didn't really talk much, which was fine with Matt.
He'd never felt so depressed, or empty inside.  He couldn't fall asleep,
and soon he heard Mike's deep breathing.
    Darin whispered, "You guys awake?"  Matt ignored him, wishing he
was.
    He groaned inwardly as Darin quietly grabbed some Kleenex off of
Mike's desk.  Matt tried to shut out the sound of Darin's rapid breathing
and rustling in the sleeping bag as he jerked off.  God, can't he do it in
private? he thought, annoyed.  Soon he heard him gasp, and then his
breathing began to slow down as he too drifted to sleep.
    Matt lay in bed for awhile longer, pissed that he couldn't sleep.
She was sleeping herself, downstairs.  He got up, trying to be as quiet as
he could.  He sneaked downstairs in the quiet house, praying he didn't
walk into anything and wake everyone up.
    He went into the kitchen, flipping on the light casually as he got
a drink of water.  The running water was loud in the silence.  He casually
walked to the doorway that led into the living room.
    It was partially lit from the kitchen light, enough for Matt to
see the sleeping couple.  Jen was on her side, facing Matt, Ryan behind
her.  His arms were wrapped around her.  Matt stared at her, and him, for
awhile.  Then he went back upstairs, purposely not being very quiet.  He
didn't care if they woke up.
    He crawled back into his sleeping bag, biting his lip as the tears
began to fall.

Chapter 27

    Ryan lay in bed, his mouth sore where Jen had hit him.  He started
to cry, but couldn't get many tears out.  It was over, he'd blown it.
    He began to think of all the times they'd had together, trying to
remember what it felt like when she was still his.  He hadn't appreciated
that feeling enough when he'd had it, he knew.  But now it was too late.
Jen hated him.
    He thought back to one Sunday last fall, when they were watching
the football game, lying on his bed.  They'd been so stressed last fall,
with applying to college.  They'd fought a lot, about other things, but
mainly it was due to the stress.  Both were considering the possibility of
different schools.  They had different goals anyway.  He felt he was
losing her whenever she'd say how it wouldn't hurt their relationship too
much to be apart geographically.  It was so upsetting to him, he'd sort of
assumed she would go with him.  But of course he wanted her to be happy,
and she should go wherever she wanted.
    But that day they hadn't fought once.  They'd gone out the night
before, eating dinner and seeing a movie.  They came back late, sneaking
into his house so as not to wake anyone up.  It was so perfect, giggling
in bed and making love for hours while they tried to be quiet.  Then
Sunday morning his parents made a huge breakfast.  She was so much a part
of the family, he thought.  She's like a sister, but of course not to me.
She's my best friend.  Or she was, he thought painfully.
    Then they lay on his bed, just relaxing, watching the game.  He'd
thought about her, next to him, how much he loved her, and how scared he
was that he would lose her.
    "Marry me," he'd said suddenly.
    She looked at him.  "What?"
    "Marry me," he repeated.
    She'd held her left hand out, moving her ring finger, his ring
always there.  "What's this?" she'd asked him gently.
    He'd rolled over, looking deep into her eyes.  "No, I mean, now.
Before college."
    "Ry!  We can't get married yet," she'd said.
    "Why not?" he'd asked her.
    "Because," she'd sighed.  "I don't want to yet."
    "But, then if we go to different schools, you'll still be mine. .
. "
    "Ryan!  No.  I will be yours anyway, got it?  It doesn't matter
where we go to school."
    He'd sighed.
    "Ryan," she'd said gently, hugging him.  "When we get married,
that's it.  We're never going to live apart after that.  Right?" she'd
asked him in a small voice.
    "I know.  But I'm just scared it'll be different, that you'll meet
someone else. . . "
    "Well, I'm scared you will too."
    He'd shook his head furiously.  "No, Jen!  I won't!  I promise."
    "I could never love anyone else.  Comprende?"
    He'd nodded.  They looked at the TV for a second, which was
showing one of the player's wives, with their small son.
    "What if you got pregnant?" he'd asked her suddenly.
    She'd paused.  "Then I'd want to get married now."
    "You wouldn't want to have an abortion?"
    "Ryan, no!  You know I don't believe in abortion!"
    "Yeah, me neither."
    "I could never kill a part of me," she'd told him quietly.  "And
especially, I could never kill your child, our child."
    "Oh, I know.  I was just asking.  God, Jen, if you got pregnant I'd
marry you so fast you wouldn't believe it!"
    She smiled at him.  "You'd better marry me, boy!"
    "I would," he promised.  "I *will*."
    Then Robby came in, without knocking again.  It was the third time
he'd walked in on them since they'd been watching the game.  He's trying
to catch us doing something, Ryan had told her.
    "What's the score now?" he'd asked, casually.
    "The same," Ryan had told him.  "If you're so interested in the
game, why don't you watch it?"
    Robby had paused.  "You mean, with you?"
    "No, not with us!  In the living room."
    "Ry!" Jen had laughed.  "You can watch it with us if you want
Robby," she told him.
    "No he can't.  We're talking," said Ryan.  "Close the door on your
way out," he told Robby.
    "Fine!" he said, sullenly.  "Wait, not!" he'd added over his
shoulder, leaving the door partially open.  He slammed his own, next door.
    "Whatta brat!"
    "Ry, you're so mean. . . "
    "I am not!  I swear, he's just in here to spy on us.  He's trying
to catch us doing something.  He's such a little pervert."
    She laughed.  It was true.
    Ryan started moaning, quietly, while Jen asked what he was doing.
He began groaning, saying, "Yes!  Oh God, yes!!!!" loudly.  Laughing, she
told him to stop.  He didn't, still moaning and groaning.  He got into it,
shouting out her name and screaming, "Yes!!!" over and over at the top of
his lungs.  He began bouncing on the bed, then jumping on it, knocking the
headboard repeatedly into the wall he and Robby shared.  She laughed so
hard she nearly cried, though thoroughly embarrassed.  His parents could
probably hear!
    And they did; soon his dad came into the room while Ryan was still
jumping on the bed, groaning and yelling her name.
    "*What* is going on?" asked JR, amused but annoyed as well.
    Jen, still laughing, hid her head under a pillow as Ryan fell down
on the bed, sitting next to her.
    "Oh, nothing," he'd said.
    "Well, keep it down.  And *don't* jump on the bed, will ya?  That's
something I'd have to tell Will not to do, aright?"
    "Sure, no problem," he'd said.
    His dad, shaking his head, closed the door.
    "Dork!" Jen had called him, laughing.
    "What?  I bet Robby got two, three good wanks outta that!" he'd
told her with a grin.
    "Oh, you're so bad," she'd teased.  "Were you that perverted?"
she'd asked.
    "Sure!"
    "I wanna know what you did," she'd teased.
    "Oh, I had the magazines.  And the fantasies.  And my right hand.
Sometimes my left when my right got cramped.  The usual."
    "I wanna see you do it," she'd whispered to him.
    "What?  Oh, not this again.  Later, huh?"
    "Okay," she'd sighed.  "I'm just teasing you. . . "
    "Nuh huh!  I know you like it," he told her with a naughty smile.
    She'd smiled back, blushing a bit.
    Laying on his bed, by himself, Ryan thought about that day, and
how much she hated him now.  He wanted to kill himself again.  He had for
awhile.

continued. . .






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