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- @BEGIN_FILE_ID.DIZ
- sex story.....@END_FILE_ID.DIZ
-
-
- Whenever Matt saw her his heart raced. And then she was always
- gone, into the classroom, or the parking lot, as fast as she had appeared,
- she was gone. He had hung out at Mike's a lot, but she was never there.
- One night he went over to his house, to work on their biology
- project. It was due the next day, and they'd both been slacking off.
- They had their notes, but still had to write the paper. He was in a bad
- mood, because Mike kept promising to work on his part, but he never did.
- It was already eight o'clock.
- "We'll write it in my sister's room," said Mike, as they ran up the
- stairs.
- And she was there, laying on the bed watching TV. He tried to act
- casual. Dana was on the phone, but she waved to Mike to use her computer.
- They pulled in another chair, and Matt sat down.
- "Hi Jen," Mike had groaned.
- "Hi Mikey," she'd said. Mikey? he wondered.
- The minute Dana had gotten off the phone, it had rung again.
- "Hello?" Dana said. She looked at Jen. "Um, what if I say she's
- not here?. . . Well then, what if I say she is?"
- Jen raised her eyebrows at her friend.
- Dana raised hers back, covering up the receiver. "It's Ryan,"
- she explained. "He said, 'Is my girlfriend there?' and I said, 'What if
- she's not?' and he goes, 'Then I'll be happy.'"
- "He'll be happy?" asked Jen.
- "Yeah, and then I say, 'What if she is here,' and he says, 'Then
- I'll be sad.'"
- "Oh really?" Jen snorted. "Well I wouldn't want to make him sad!"
- "She doesn't want to make you sad," she said into the phone. She
- paused. "Oh. He says he'll be sad because he's really tired and he wants
- to go to bed."
- "So go to bed," Jen said plainly.
- "Go to bed," relayed Dana. "Oh. . . Just a second." She threw
- Jen the cordless phone.
- "If you don't want to talk to me then don't," said Jen. "So go to
- bed! I'm not standing in your way. . . Yeah. . . Oh. . . Yeah, I know.
- . . Why are they there?. . . I don't care, I was just asking. . . Hey,
- I'll let you go if you're so tired. . . Really? Oooh, Ryan! Bad!" she
- teased.
- Matt was trying to listen in, but at the same time not be obvious,
- i.e. keep telling Mike what to write next.
- She sat up. "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?. . . Sorry!.
- . . Yeah, yeah. . . I just meant it's a Monday night. I never said
- that. . . "
- She clicked the phone off, and slammed it down on the bed. Dana
- took it, hanging it up. They're fighting! thought Matt.
- "What? Did he hang up on you?" she asked.
- "No. I hung up on him. Wait give me the phone."
- "Why? Are you going to call him back?"
- "Yeah. . . "
- "No! Don't! Wait five minutes first."
- She sighed.
- "What was his problem?"
- She lay back down on the bed. "He was being such a prick! I was
- like, 'Fine! You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to!' And he's
- like, 'Oh, I'm drunk,' And so I'm like, 'Ooh! Bad,' and he gets all mad,
- and says, 'Don't *you* lecture me about drinking!'"
- "What a dick!"
- "Yeah, and I'm like, 'Ryan, that's not what I meant.' I mean, he
- never drinks on a weeknight. Usually not even on a weekend, you know? So
- I said that, and he goes 'Oh. Well, whatever.' So I hung up on him."
- "What's his problem?" asked Dana.
- "I don't know. His asshole friends were over there, and you know
- how he's different when they're there. . . "
- "Nah, it's probably because he's drunk. He's nice to you Jen,"
- interrupted Mike.
- "Well he's still being a dick."
- "Do you guys fight a lot?" asked Matt, curious.
- "No, hardly ever. We've only fought like, four times!"
- "Have you guys been going out a long time?" he asked.
- "Three years," she told him.
- "Wow," he said.
- "Right. I don't need this shit," she said.
- "Jen! Come on, don't cry!" exclaimed Dana sympathetically.
- Matt looked over, she was rubbing her eyes, laying on the bed.
- She sniffled. Yup, she was starting to cry. He couldn't believe it. Her
- boyfriend was such a jerk, he would always want to talk to her if he was
- him.
- Dana leaned over the bed, hugging her. "Come on, you know he
- loves you. Sometimes he's just in bad moods. Aren't you ever in bad
- moods too? It doesn't mean you don't love him still."
- She nodded, swallowing her tears. The phone rang.
- "Hello?" asked Dana. She looked at Jen.
- "I'm not here. He can be happy," she said sarcastically.
- "What if I say she's not here?" asked Dana. "Oh yeah?. . . Well
- what if I say she is here?. . . Well what if I say she's here but that
- she. . . Okay! Okay!"
- She handed Jen the phone. "He's all, 'Will you just give the
- fucking phone to my girlfriend!"" she imitated.
- Jen snatched it up. "Don't you speak to my friends that way!"
- she screamed. "No, *you* listen!. . . Goddamn you, what the hell's your
- problem. . . No, it is not *me* . . . Why are you being like this Ryan!"
- she cried.
- Matt and Mike raised their eyebrows at each other. "Should we
- leave?" he whispered to Mike. Mike shook his head.
- She continued yelling at him, starting to cry again. Matt wanted
- to comfort her. "I never said anything bad about them!. . . Unlike what
- they say about me though, huh?. . . No!. . . It's different, Ryan, it's
- different!" she sobbed, her face in her hands, her chin resting on her
- knees as she sat back against the wall. "Oh, oh. Not because you don't
- want me to be upset. . . Oh, isn't that just fucking classic," she
- snapped sarcastically. "Listen to this you guys," she told them. "Ryan
- says, 'Don't cry Jen. Don't cry in front of your friends; it makes me
- look like the bad guy!' Well why do you think I'm crying!" she screamed
- into the phone.
- Matt sat there watching her, as she cried and argued. It isn't
- fair, he thought. Why does he get her when he treats her like this?
- She swallowed her sobs a bit, and got quiet, listening to him
- talk. "Uh huh. . . Yes!. . . But I'm just telling you Ryan, it's
- different lately. . . It is!. . . I haven't seen you hardly at all since
- school started. . . I know that!. . . But, you obviously have time for
- *them*! You didn't invite me. . . Yeah, I'm sure they just came over and
- forced the beer down your throat while you protested, saying, 'No! I have
- to study!'" she said sarcastically. "See, now you're not even listening!.
- . . Bullshit!. . . What?" she gasped. "*What*? What did you just say?"
- she gasped, starting to cry again. "I can't believe you just said that!
- That was over two *fucking* years ago! I can't believe this!" she sobbed.
- "You never forgave me for that, did you!. . . I never said I was!. . .
- Yeah, right. . . No you don't!. . . Oh yeah, well I'm sure getting
- drunk will really contribute to excellency tomorrow during practice!. . .
- Oh, yeah, well maybe they can suck your dick from now on since you love
- them so much!"
- Matt widened his eyes, and Mike tried to keep from laughing.
- "Go Jen!" Mike laughed.
- "You tell me to fucking shut up one more time and we're through, ya
- got it!. . . Yes, you did! You just said it!. . . Oh, same damn thing!.
- . . I could too!. . . I don't want to fight with you! You started it!.
- . . Well what am I just supposed to ignore it? That is not going to
- help," she said. "It's not. You don't want to talk. You don't call me
- anymore. We don't go out anymore. . . Well, not like we used to!. . . I
- know that," she whispered. "I know, but you don't tell me these things.
- I'm not a part of your life. . . I know. . . Yeah, I know. . . Why?!?
- Because you're friends just came back in! Is it embarrassing to fight
- with your girlfriend in front of them!. . . You're so different. . .
- See, now you're not even talking to me!. . . You're not, you're talking
- to them!. . . Oh, I see. See, you can't bring yourself to apologize or
- say you love me in front of them. . . No, not in front of *them*!. . .
- You can talk to them all you want," she said sweetly, hanging up on him.
- She wiped her eyes, still crying.
- "Come on, Jen," said Dana, wrapping her arms around her. "It'll be
- okay. What did he say?"
- "He's just such a jerk," she cried. "He's all, 'Oh, like you're
- perfect! At least I don't lie to you!'"
- "What? When did you lie to him?"
- "Fucking remember *Brett*," she sobbed. "Fucking two *years* ago!"
- "Oh my God, he brought that up? I can't believe it!" exclaimed
- Dana.
- "That's the only time I've *ever* lied to him. This is supposed to
- be the best year, senior year! And look what's happened to us," she
- whispered.
- "It's okay," said Dana. "He loves you, he's just stressed with
- school and college and football and everything."
- She nodded, still crying. She lay back on the bed. Matt and Mike
- worked on the project for awhile, but he kept looking over at her.
- Awhile later the phone rang again.
- "Hello?" groaned Dana. "Yeah, just a second."
- She held the phone out, and Jen shook her head.
- "She doesn't want to talk to you. I don't blame her either. . .
- Yeah, I know you do. . . What?. . . Then why do you. . . Yeah, aright."
- She held the phone out again. Jen still shook her head.
- "I think he's sorry. . . " she told her. Jen said nothing. "No,
- she won't!" she said into the phone. "No, she's right here, she just
- doesn't want to. . . She won't take it. . . Aright, I guess. But if she
- leaves she leaves," she told him.
- Jen still lay on the bed, facing the wall. Dana pushed a button
- on the phone base, putting it on speakerphone.
- "Jen. . . " said a male voice. "Come on, I'm sorry. I am!"
- She didn't answer him. Matt listened intently.
- "Jen, please. I don't want to break up with you. You know that I
- love you," he said.
- "Yeah, I'm sure your friends aren't in the room," she sniffled.
- "What? Aright, fine! Hold on!"
- She cried, her face in her hands. They could hear him as he
- yelled for his friends to come in the room.
- "Okay, are you guys all here?" he asked. He sounded drunk. A
- chorus of male voices sounded. "Now my girlfriend. Her name is Jen by
- the way and she's very nice and very beautiful. I love my girlfriend a
- lot," he whispered. Jen sobbed. "And I'm sorry I was a jerk. And I'm
- saying this in front of my friends so they know too that I'm a jerk. Jen,
- I love you," he whispered. "Please talk to me. I'm too drunk to come see
- you 'cause I can't drive 'cause I'm drunk. And I can't find my car," he
- whined.
- Jen sobbed, laughing too.
- "Your car's in your driveway!" someone at his house hooted.
- Crying, she got up and took the phone.
- "Ryan, you're drunk," she cried. "I do, I do. . . I know, that's
- why it scares me when it seems were growing apart. . . Yes, definitely. .
- . Yeah, I know. . . They're leaving?. . . Yeah, it's almost 9:30. . .
- What?. . . You're mumbling!. . . Yes. . . *Hello*?. . . Ryan," she
- said gently. "I can't hear you if you put it on mute. . . I hear the
- clicks. . . "
- She put the phone on mute herself. "He's putting me on mute so I
- can't hear him crying. . . I can hear the clicks!" she told her.
- "Ohhh! He's crying?" asked Dana.
- "Ry, I love you too. . . I know. . . Sure, I'll make you
- spaghetti," she told him, giggling as Dana laughed.
- Matt laughed too. "Man, how much did he have to drink?" asked
- Mike.
- "Yes I do," she said in the phone. "Yeah, sure. . . Yes, I'll
- remember the sauce. . . Ryan, you are *drunk*! How much did you drink?.
- . . Twelve?!?" she exclaimed. "He had twelve beers and a 40 in the last
- two hours," she told them.
- "Damn!" said Mike.
- "No, I'm not mad at you for drinking!. . . I know. . . No, you
- do. Better than me anyway. . . Well, you sorta drank too much. . . No!
- You are *not* driving!. . . Yes, I do believe you. . . Yeah but how do
- you need me?. . . Ryan, I think you're too drunk, honey. . . No! That's
- not what I meant!. . . Ry, no! Take it off mute, please. . . " She
- covered up the receiver. "Now he's all upset because he thinks I think he
- can't get it up!" she whispered.
- "Well, he's drunk!" exclaimed Mike.
- "Yeah, I know but he. . . What?" she asked into the phone. "You
- had it on mute I didn't hear the whole thing. . . No, I know. . . No,
- no. It's okay. Ry, are you sure though?. . . You're just drunk. . .
- You know your rule. . . I know. . . Yes, babe, I understand. . . I'm
- sure you'll be passed out by the time I get up there anyway. Plus you
- need your sleep!. . . Where are your parents, anyway?. . . Oh. They
- didn't care?. . . Oh. . .Yes, I do. . . Baby, I love you," she
- whispered. "I know you are. . . Okay. . . Yes. . . Yes, I love you. .
- . No, I'm not!. . . Aright, goodnight. . . "
- She hung up the phone, groaning in frustration. "He's like, 'I'm
- about to pass out. I'm drunk. My posters are weird! You're mad at me
- still. I love you. I'm drunk!'" she mimicked.
- Dana and Mike laughed, and Matt smiled. He felt miserable,
- though. She would never be his. He should just get over her, he thought.
- He was wasting his time. But I love her, he thought.
-
- *****
-
- About two weeks later Mike's parents went up to the city for their
- anniversary, spending the night in a hotel. Mike invited Matt, and this
- other guy from their football team, Darin, to spend the night. They rode
- their bikes around town, eating at McDonald's and hitting on girls.
- Finally they returned to his house, and with nothing else to do, settled
- on a game of Life. Matt felt a bit childish, but his sister and Jen
- weren't there anyway.
- He asked about her. "So, what did your sister do tonight?"
- "Huh? Dana? Oh, she went out."
- "Oh, yeah, with who?" he asked casually.
- "I don't know. Probably Jen and Ryan and whoever. Why?"
- "Oh, I was just wondering."
- "You like his sister!" teased Darin.
- "No I don't. Shut up!"
- "No, he likes Jen!" laughed Mike. "He wants her ass bad."
- "Shut up," he muttered. "I do not."
- "Yuh huh! You always ask about her."
- He ignored him, instead getting into the game. He kicked himself
- for asking about her so much; he hoped if he stopped for awhile Mike
- wouldn't think he liked her. He didn't know about Mike; he might tell
- her. He considered himself good friends with her, although Matt didn't
- know how much truth there was to that.
- Awhile later they heard car doors slamming in the driveway. The
- side door opened and Jen walked in. Matt gulped, taking a sip of his
- soda. She was dressed up, wearing a short plaid skirt and black
- stockings. From the look in her eyes he guessed she was either really
- tired, really drunk, or both.
- "What are you playing?" she mumbled. "Oh, Life! I love this
- game!"
- She sat down next to Matt. She picked up Darin's little blue car
- off the game board, and made it drive off the board in front of her.
- "Vroom vroom!" she laughed, steering the little car off the table and onto
- Matt's lap.
- "Hey!" he exclaimed.
- She ignored him, saying again, "Vroom vroom!" She took the little
- car, dragging it up his thigh and his chest while he shrank away from her,
- blushing. "Vroooooooooom," she said, now moving it up his shoulder and
- his neck, giving him goose bumps from the cold plastic on his bare skin.
- Mike and Darin were laughing at her, the former saying, "Uh, Jen?
- I think you're too drunk to drive!"
- She looked at him, tossing the piece onto the board. "I'm not
- drunk," she slurred. She looked over at Matt. "You know, you have really
- pretty eyes," she told him.
- Matt blushed. "Thanks."
- "Ooooo, Matt," teased Darin.
- Shut up!!! Matt thought. But she didn't notice.
- "Ryan's pissed at me 'cause I'm drunk," she whined, putting her
- head on the table. She didn't move, and Matt wondered if she was passed
- out.
- The door opened again, and Dana and three other people came in.
- She still didn't move as Dana and the two of the guys went down the hall.
- The third guy looked at her, tickling her scalp with his hands.
- She still didn't move. Is that Ryan? wondered Matt.
- "So, I hear you're mad at her for being drunk," said Mike. It *is*
- him, thought Matt.
- He'd never seen him before, and he was impressed, although he
- never would admit having checked out another guy. He was tall, and
- strong, with brown hair which needed a haircut. Matt knew he was great
- looking; he was exactly the kind of guy that every girl would check out
- and compliment.
- Ryan rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not. Did she say that?"
- "Yeah."
- "Nah. She's just drunk. She keeps asking me if I'm mad. Right,
- hon?" he asked her.
- "You are too mad!" she answered, sitting up. "Even if you don't
- know or admit it."
- "Well if you keep saying that I will get mad," he laughed.
- "See! You are too mad," she repeated, whining. "I have to go to
- the bathroom. Because I'm drunk," she added, giving Ryan a pointed look
- as she went down the hall.
- The other two guys came back in the kitchen. They sat down at the
- kitchen table with the freshman. Matt felt like a baby, playing a board
- game on a Friday night.
- "Let's play poker," said one of them.
- "Yeah. Go get cards," Ryan said to Mike, sitting down as well.
- "Okay," said Mike, who went to his room.
- Ryan caught Matt looking at him. "What's up?" he asked him.
- "Nuthin'," said Matt, looking away.
- "What are your guys' names?" he asked.
- "I'm Darin."
- "Matt," he said.
- "You guys freshmen?" Ryan asked.
- "Yeah," said Matt.
- He nodded. "That's cool. You guys play poker?" he asked.
- "Yeah, sure!" said Darin.
- "Sure," Matt said, although he hadn't. "But I haven't in a while."
- "Oh, well, we're not playing for money," Ryan told him.
- "Oh. Okay," said Matt.
- Mike returned with the cards and chips, and all six guys settled
- into a game. The other two guys were Corey and Alan. Dana came in and
- pulled up another chair, leaning her head on Alan's shoulder.
- "Where's Jen?" asked Ryan.
- "In my room, I think. I don't know what she's doing."
- "Ah," he answered, raising Mike.
- Jen returned in a few minutes, her heels off.
- "What's up?" asked Ryan, his eyes on his cards.
- Slinking over to him, she straddled his lap, her head on his
- shoulder. Ryan continued playing, while she muttered a few things to him.
- He shook his head, twice.
- Matt watched as she began covering him with soft kisses, her
- tongue on his neck, and ear. The other guys kept an eye on her too, Matt
- noticed, while they continued the game. She kept murmuring things in his
- ear, and kissing him on the mouth, fully. Ryan pretty much ignored her,
- except to close his eyes when she kissed him. Matt was at a perfect angle
- to see both their tongues touching as they kissed. She held his face in
- her hands while she kept kissing him.
- "Harper," prompted Corey. "Your turn!"
- Ryan took his mouth away, leaning forward to take his turn. She
- was pressed backward into the table, turning her head around to see
- everyone. Her eyes met Matt's briefly, as they did the other guys'. Her
- eyes were glassy. She must be really drunk, thought Matt.
- She murmured again in Ryan's ear, and this time Matt heard what
- she said, "Let's do it, come on, now." Ryan shook his head again, saying,
- "No!"
- Ryan won that game, laughing loudly at the others' misfortune.
- While Alan shuffled, Jen leaned back onto the table, her legs straight out
- behind Ryan's arms. She stretched her arms out, groaning. Ryan ignored
- her still. She reached back and pulled the clip out of her hair. Raising
- one leg over his shoulder, she sat back up, shaking her hair down. Matt
- widened his eyes at his view, as her skirt fell back up her legs,
- revealing the top of her black stocking and several inches of thigh, and
- finally the edge of her black underwear.
- "Is this turning you on?" she asked Ryan.
- "It's turning me on," said Alan, laughing. Matt agreed silently,
- squeezing his legs together.
- "Uh, am I hard?" Ryan asked sarcastically.
- The other guys laughed, and she responded by grinding her hips
- into him, bucking against him while she laughed.
- "Knock it off," he snapped.
- "Ryan!" she whined. "Come on, please?"
- The freshman guys couldn't believe their ears. Here was a girl, a
- real girl, begging to be fucked. And more than that, the guy was turning
- her down.
- "I said no!"
- She pouted, taking her leg off his shoulder. "You're mad at me,"
- she whispered, leaning on his shoulder.
- "I am not!" he insisted. "I don't care if you're drunk but right
- now I'm trying to play a simple game of poker. Got it? I think you need
- to go to bed anyway," he added.
- "I'm not tired!" she whined.
- "Yes, you are," he told her. "How many people here think Jen needs
- to go to bed?" he asked loudly.
- "Raise your hand if you're sure!" giggled Jen.
- Dana, Mike, Alan, and Corey agreed with Ryan enthusiastically.
- Matt didn't want her to go to bed though.
- "But I'm lonely," she whined. "And it's scary in there."
- "Jen, I'll be right out here," Ryan told her gently. "If any
- robbers or rapists come in, just scream and I'll come in and protect you,
- okay babe?"
- "But," she insisted. "It's dark. What if I can't see anything and
- I think it's you and I let him?" she pouted.
- "Well," said Ryan. "As soon as he takes out his little tiny dick
- you'll know it's not me for sure, now won't you?" he grinned.
- Everyone laughed, including Jen.
- "But you promise you won't leave?" she asked him sadly.
- "Promise," he told her, giving her a kiss.
- "Okay," she said. "But you have to put me to bed," she insisted.
- "Aright, after I win this hand."
- "You know I'm just kiddin'," she told him in his ear. Ryan smiled
- at her, giving her a kiss.
- Matt felt that same sickening pain in his stomach, the jealousy
- and hurt eating away at him as he watched her with Ryan, knowing she would
- never even consider him. I'm just some stupid freshman, he thought, who
- plays board games on a Friday night.
- After Ryan did win that hand, she dragged him out of the kitchen
- and down the hall.
- "I guess he's out," said Darin with a grin.
- "Nah, he'll be out in a minute. He doesn't fuck her when she's
- drunk," said Corey.
- "Yeah, not when she's drunk," said Dana.
- "Why not?" asked Darin.
- Corey shrugged. "I don't know, ask him."
- "I think it's because one time she like freaked out, and she didn't
- know what was going on and who the hell he was. I think she was high
- though too. But anyway he was pissed," said Dana.
- "I'd do her when she was drunk," said Darin. Matt agreed silently.
- "I know, huh?" said Alan. "He's got some control, man! I'd hit
- that anytime!"
- Dana sat up, rolling her eyes. She crossed her legs. Was she
- going out with Alan? wondered Matt.
- Alan redealed, and they waited for Ryan to come back. Dana walked
- out of the kitchen, without saying anything.
- Ryan passed her as he walked in. "Man, what's up?" he asked.
- Alan shrugged. "I don't know."
- "Does she want to get back together? She was all over you
- tonight."
- "I don't know. She's drunk I guess. I don't really care," he
- added. "I'm sort of still getting together with Michelle."
- Ryan nodded, checking out his cards.
- "You hit that?" asked Corey.
- "Who, Michelle? Nah, not yet," answered Alan.
- God, they all screw each other, thought Matt. He wondered if Mike
- minded when they talked about his sister. Did he care if she had sex?
- "We almost did," continued Alan. "I went muff diving," he added
- with a grin.
- The other seniors laughed, and Darin groaned, "Echh!"
- They looked over at him. "What, you ever done it?" challenged
- Corey.
- Darin had to admit he hadn't. "But that's nasty," he added. "I'm
- not going to ever do it."
- "Uh, you will if you want to get your dick sucked," laughed Alan.
- "Besides, it's not nasty, huh?"
- "The way I see it," said Ryan, "is that you worship it
- figuratively, so you might as well get on your knees and worship it
- literally! Besides, there ain't nuthin' better. . . Well, besides
- fucking or getting your dick sucked," he added.
- Alan agreed, nodding.
- "If I die with my head with my head up in that, I'll die a happy
- man!" Ryan laughed.
- "It's great," agreed Corey. "You just gotta get in there, and eat,
- and eat. . . " he added, demonstrating with an open mouth and extended
- tongue.
- Ryan and Alan laughed. Matt laughed too, wanting to seem cool
- anyway.
- "What's your favorite position?" he asked them.
- Alan shrugged. "I don't know. Doggy's pretty good."
- "They're all good," said Corey. "Yeah, doggy's hot."
- "I love to be ridden *like a horse*," said Ryan.
- The others agreed enthusiastically. "That's nice," said Alan.
- "Just lay back, and get ridden."
- Matt tried to picture Jen on top. Was that her favorite position
- too? Did she like to be eaten out a lot? He would do it for her. He
- doubted she was nasty.
- "Man, you've got some control," Alan told Ryan.
- "Huh?" he grinned.
- "The girl's like, on your lap, begging you, and you say no! What's
- up?" asked Darin.
- "Nah," he told them. "She didn't want it really. She just wanted
- to be alone together I think."
- Matt wondered about that. Why didn't Ryan go spend time with her
- instead of playing poker with his friends?
- "She gets like that sometimes," he continued. "But then she passes
- out. And that's not too cool." They knew what he meant.
- They played cards until almost two. Matt thought Ryan was really
- cool. They talked about football, and Ryan seemed to like him. Maybe he
- would mention to Jen he thought Matt was cool? They talked about sex of
- course, the younger three not being able to speak from experience. But
- the older trio didn't make any virgin jokes, to their relief. They felt
- cool to be hanging out with them on a Friday night.
- Ryan got a few beers from the car, and he drank a bit.
- "You staying here, Harper?" asked Alan.
- "Yeah, probably. That okay with you?" he asked Mike.
- Mike nodded. "Sure. You can sleep on the sofa bed in the living
- room."
- Dana came out. "I'm going to bed now," she said, sounding
- annoyed. "And Jen's sort of on my bed. She's *out*."
- "Oh, yeah. I thought you were asleep too." said Ryan.
- "No, I was on the phone."
- "Oh. Yeah, well, aright," he told her. "I'm out," he told the
- guys, tossing his cards onto the table and standing up.
- "Yeah, I gotta get going," said Alan.
- "Yeah, see ya guys," said Corey to the three freshman at the table
- as they left.
- Mike and Ryan went into the living room, opening the sofa bed.
- Mike went and got sheets and a blanket while Matt hung around, wondering
- when Jen was going to come out.
- Ryan brought her out, carrying her. She was completely gone, her
- head resting against his arm. She was wearing some of Dana's shorts and a
- T-shirt. Did he undress her? wondered Matt. He wondered what it might be
- like to do that.
- He put her to bed, setting her gently down on the sheets, then
- covering her up with the blanket. He certainly cares for her a lot,
- thought Matt, jealous. Ryan kicked his shoes off, then pulled off his
- T-shirt. Matt noticed how muscular he was. He climbed into bed next to
- her, on top of the blankets. Matt still stood in the kitchen doorway,
- watching them, as Ryan smoothed her hair, then kissed her cheek. His eyes
- filled with tears, as he once again realized she would never be his.
- Ryan looked up. "Hey, can you turn out the light?" he mumbled,
- tired.
- Matt nodded, and he and Mike went upstairs.
- Matt and Darin slept on the floor in sleeping bags. All three
- were tired, and so they didn't really talk much, which was fine with Matt.
- He'd never felt so depressed, or empty inside. He couldn't fall asleep,
- and soon he heard Mike's deep breathing.
- Darin whispered, "You guys awake?" Matt ignored him, wishing he
- was.
- He groaned inwardly as Darin quietly grabbed some Kleenex off of
- Mike's desk. Matt tried to shut out the sound of Darin's rapid breathing
- and rustling in the sleeping bag as he jerked off. God, can't he do it in
- private? he thought, annoyed. Soon he heard him gasp, and then his
- breathing began to slow down as he too drifted to sleep.
- Matt lay in bed for awhile longer, pissed that he couldn't sleep.
- She was sleeping herself, downstairs. He got up, trying to be as quiet as
- he could. He sneaked downstairs in the quiet house, praying he didn't
- walk into anything and wake everyone up.
- He went into the kitchen, flipping on the light casually as he got
- a drink of water. The running water was loud in the silence. He casually
- walked to the doorway that led into the living room.
- It was partially lit from the kitchen light, enough for Matt to
- see the sleeping couple. Jen was on her side, facing Matt, Ryan behind
- her. His arms were wrapped around her. Matt stared at her, and him, for
- awhile. Then he went back upstairs, purposely not being very quiet. He
- didn't care if they woke up.
- He crawled back into his sleeping bag, biting his lip as the tears
- began to fall.
-
- Chapter 27
-
- Ryan lay in bed, his mouth sore where Jen had hit him. He started
- to cry, but couldn't get many tears out. It was over, he'd blown it.
- He began to think of all the times they'd had together, trying to
- remember what it felt like when she was still his. He hadn't appreciated
- that feeling enough when he'd had it, he knew. But now it was too late.
- Jen hated him.
- He thought back to one Sunday last fall, when they were watching
- the football game, lying on his bed. They'd been so stressed last fall,
- with applying to college. They'd fought a lot, about other things, but
- mainly it was due to the stress. Both were considering the possibility of
- different schools. They had different goals anyway. He felt he was
- losing her whenever she'd say how it wouldn't hurt their relationship too
- much to be apart geographically. It was so upsetting to him, he'd sort of
- assumed she would go with him. But of course he wanted her to be happy,
- and she should go wherever she wanted.
- But that day they hadn't fought once. They'd gone out the night
- before, eating dinner and seeing a movie. They came back late, sneaking
- into his house so as not to wake anyone up. It was so perfect, giggling
- in bed and making love for hours while they tried to be quiet. Then
- Sunday morning his parents made a huge breakfast. She was so much a part
- of the family, he thought. She's like a sister, but of course not to me.
- She's my best friend. Or she was, he thought painfully.
- Then they lay on his bed, just relaxing, watching the game. He'd
- thought about her, next to him, how much he loved her, and how scared he
- was that he would lose her.
- "Marry me," he'd said suddenly.
- She looked at him. "What?"
- "Marry me," he repeated.
- She'd held her left hand out, moving her ring finger, his ring
- always there. "What's this?" she'd asked him gently.
- He'd rolled over, looking deep into her eyes. "No, I mean, now.
- Before college."
- "Ry! We can't get married yet," she'd said.
- "Why not?" he'd asked her.
- "Because," she'd sighed. "I don't want to yet."
- "But, then if we go to different schools, you'll still be mine. .
- . "
- "Ryan! No. I will be yours anyway, got it? It doesn't matter
- where we go to school."
- He'd sighed.
- "Ryan," she'd said gently, hugging him. "When we get married,
- that's it. We're never going to live apart after that. Right?" she'd
- asked him in a small voice.
- "I know. But I'm just scared it'll be different, that you'll meet
- someone else. . . "
- "Well, I'm scared you will too."
- He'd shook his head furiously. "No, Jen! I won't! I promise."
- "I could never love anyone else. Comprende?"
- He'd nodded. They looked at the TV for a second, which was
- showing one of the player's wives, with their small son.
- "What if you got pregnant?" he'd asked her suddenly.
- She'd paused. "Then I'd want to get married now."
- "You wouldn't want to have an abortion?"
- "Ryan, no! You know I don't believe in abortion!"
- "Yeah, me neither."
- "I could never kill a part of me," she'd told him quietly. "And
- especially, I could never kill your child, our child."
- "Oh, I know. I was just asking. God, Jen, if you got pregnant I'd
- marry you so fast you wouldn't believe it!"
- She smiled at him. "You'd better marry me, boy!"
- "I would," he promised. "I *will*."
- Then Robby came in, without knocking again. It was the third time
- he'd walked in on them since they'd been watching the game. He's trying
- to catch us doing something, Ryan had told her.
- "What's the score now?" he'd asked, casually.
- "The same," Ryan had told him. "If you're so interested in the
- game, why don't you watch it?"
- Robby had paused. "You mean, with you?"
- "No, not with us! In the living room."
- "Ry!" Jen had laughed. "You can watch it with us if you want
- Robby," she told him.
- "No he can't. We're talking," said Ryan. "Close the door on your
- way out," he told Robby.
- "Fine!" he said, sullenly. "Wait, not!" he'd added over his
- shoulder, leaving the door partially open. He slammed his own, next door.
- "Whatta brat!"
- "Ry, you're so mean. . . "
- "I am not! I swear, he's just in here to spy on us. He's trying
- to catch us doing something. He's such a little pervert."
- She laughed. It was true.
- Ryan started moaning, quietly, while Jen asked what he was doing.
- He began groaning, saying, "Yes! Oh God, yes!!!!" loudly. Laughing, she
- told him to stop. He didn't, still moaning and groaning. He got into it,
- shouting out her name and screaming, "Yes!!!" over and over at the top of
- his lungs. He began bouncing on the bed, then jumping on it, knocking the
- headboard repeatedly into the wall he and Robby shared. She laughed so
- hard she nearly cried, though thoroughly embarrassed. His parents could
- probably hear!
- And they did; soon his dad came into the room while Ryan was still
- jumping on the bed, groaning and yelling her name.
- "*What* is going on?" asked JR, amused but annoyed as well.
- Jen, still laughing, hid her head under a pillow as Ryan fell down
- on the bed, sitting next to her.
- "Oh, nothing," he'd said.
- "Well, keep it down. And *don't* jump on the bed, will ya? That's
- something I'd have to tell Will not to do, aright?"
- "Sure, no problem," he'd said.
- His dad, shaking his head, closed the door.
- "Dork!" Jen had called him, laughing.
- "What? I bet Robby got two, three good wanks outta that!" he'd
- told her with a grin.
- "Oh, you're so bad," she'd teased. "Were you that perverted?"
- she'd asked.
- "Sure!"
- "I wanna know what you did," she'd teased.
- "Oh, I had the magazines. And the fantasies. And my right hand.
- Sometimes my left when my right got cramped. The usual."
- "I wanna see you do it," she'd whispered to him.
- "What? Oh, not this again. Later, huh?"
- "Okay," she'd sighed. "I'm just teasing you. . . "
- "Nuh huh! I know you like it," he told her with a naughty smile.
- She'd smiled back, blushing a bit.
- Laying on his bed, by himself, Ryan thought about that day, and
- how much she hated him now. He wanted to kill himself again. He had for
- awhile.
-
- continued. . .
-
-
-
-
-
-
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