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Chapter 7@END_FILE_ID.DIZ


    What happened is that Dana and Jared, the other sophomore, went to
the movies and conveniently invited both Jen and Ryan.  At first when Jen,
who'd been moping over Danny for awhile, realized what was going on, she
was a little annoyed, not that she didn't like the Ryan guy or anything.
She just bristled at her best friend's attempt to set her up behind her
back.  After all, Dana knew how upset she was over Danny still.  But she
couldn't be rude and demand to go home.  Plus, it wasn't Ryan's fault they
had been set up.  She set out to ignore him so he would get the picture
that she wasn't interested.
    But while Jared was all over Dana next to them, Ryan just let her
watch the movie, and she was thankful.  He didn't even try to hold her
hand.  He was so funny and she was laughing the whole time at all his
little sarcastic comments about the movie, which was really stupid.  They
both hated licorice and Good N' Plenty candy.  But Danny kept creeping
into her mind, and she refused to acknowledge that she might like someone
else or that she might be on a date.  She wished she was at home.
    But when the movie was over, an extremely minor incident in the
car, which would blow Ryan away later when she mentioned it to him, made
her really look at him and admit to herself that she liked him a lot.
    While Jared was driving a van cut in front of them suddenly.
Jared slammed on his brakes.  Jen was in the back seat with Ryan, and
wearing her seat belt, but Ryan instantly threw his arm in front of her to
prevent her from going forward.  There wasn't an accident or anything, but
she was bowled over by his protective and thoughtful behavior.  This tiny
gesture opened her eyes to him.
    She thought about that night, and how much fun she'd had with him.
And how good it had felt when he'd just touched her, although briefly.
She hoped he liked her too, and didn't think she was cold or uninterested.
    When they stopped at her house to drop her off, the garage door
was open and her dad was fixing something in it.  Both of them had been
wondering what was going to happen, if he would walk her to her door and
maybe kiss her.  It wasn't an official date, so he could have just stayed
in the car and been safe.  But since her dad was there they didn't get the
chance.  So instead Ryan yanked her hair playfully when she climbed out of
the back seat, and she smiled at him as she said, "See ya later."

*****

    Ryan was encouraged enough to call her the next day, and the day
after that.  He asked her to his Homecoming and she said yes, Danny's
memory fading by the day.
    They went in a big group, first out to dinner, then to the dance
where Jen and Ryan danced the whole night.  Well, practically the whole
night.  The group they went with had rented a suite with several rooms
(the dance was at a hotel), and eventually they went up there.
    Ryan's mind was racing in the elevator, wondering if he was going
to lose his virginity that night.  He pictured them in a bedroom, making
out passionately and ripping each other's clothes off as they fell onto
the bed.  He wondered what he was supposed to do now.
    Jen was also wondering what would happen.  He hadn't kissed her
yet, and she really wanted him too.  Half the couples on the dance floor
had been making out during the slow songs.  She really liked him, and was
scared he didn't like her, at least, not as much as she liked him.
    They sat down on the couch in the living room of the suite,
looking around and saying hi to the few of other people there.  MTV was
on.  Ryan loosened his necktie and removed it.  It was so awkward.  He
wanted to fuck her right then, but was petrified of her punching him out
if he suggested they go into one of the rooms.  So they just made small
talk on the couch.
    One guy made eye contact with Ryan, and, nodding toward an empty
bedroom, said, "It's empty if you want it."
    Ryan glanced over at her, but she didn't look at him, not wanting
to do what she was sure he wanted to.  He'd probably had lots of girls
before, all the time, she thought.
    Ryan just shook his head at the guy, saying, "Maybe later."
    She felt relieved, but at the same time scared that he didn't like
her.  He hadn't tried anything at all.  She excused herself and went to
the bathroom, where she stared at her image in the mirror.
    She was 14 years old, but her body was decently behind.  She
hadn't yet gotten her period.  She was 4'10" tall, easily a foot shorter
than Ryan.  Her dark brown hair was piled on top of her head, and her blue
eyes made up impeccably.  She thought her face was her best feature.
    She didn't yet have any sort of body, her breasts were small, and
ugly, she thought.  Her chest looked okay in this dress, she'd reasoned at
the store.  She knew that if Ryan tried to feel her up he'd be
disappointed in her lack of body.  He probably weighed twice as much as
her too.  She was always thought of as "cute," because of her petite size.
Never "fine."  Feeling miserable, Jen returned to Ryan on the couch.
    "Hi," he said to her.  Her visit to the bathroom had sent his
adolescent mind spinning: was she putting in a birth control device?
Maybe she *wanted* him to hit on her.  He wanted to have sex with her, but
at the same time he'd rather just kiss her first.  Besides, he reasoned,
do I really want sex on a first date?  He didn't know if she was a virgin,
it's possible she wasn't.  He'd prefer it if she was, he wasn't sure he'd
know how to do it right anyway, but the odds were certainly greater of her
letting him do her if she'd done it before.  But he would be happy if she
just liked him back.
    "Hi," she answered.
    "Did you have fun tonight?" he asked, thinking, please say yes, and
mean it too.
    She smiled at him.  "Yes," she said.  She had.
    "Did I tell you you look beautiful?" he asked.
    "About ten times," she blushed.
    "Good, just checking."
    "I've gotten a lot of compliments on my corsage," she told him.
"It's so pretty."
    "Yeah?  Thanks.  I was hoping you'd like it," he grinned at her.
"So, what are you doing next weekend?"  He was stepping out onto a ledge
here, he wasn't sure if she'd respond the way he hoped.
    She paused.  "Well, next Saturday is our Homecoming."
    "Oh, are you going?"
    "Well, that depends. . . "  She wasn't trying to be coy.
    "On what?"
    "On whether or not you'd like to go with me," she said quickly, her
heart pounding in her ears.
    He smiled.  "I'd love to go with you."
    She smiled back, and they looked deep into each other's eyes.  He
leaned in a millimeter, saying quietly, his face covered with
anticipation,
    "Can- can I kiss you?"
    She nodded, still staring into his eyes.
    He leaned forward and, eyes closed, she felt his lips brush up
against hers.  He lightly pushed against her lips, and she did the same.
He pulled away slowly, with a quiet kissing sound.  She studied his face.
God he's gorgeous, she thought.
    He leaned in again, and kissed her again.  He didn't pull away
this time but just leaned in to let his forehead touch hers, their eyes
still closed.  She felt his warm breath on her lips, and kissed him back,
her hands finding his strong shoulders.  She let her mouth open the
slightest bit, and he did the same.  The tip of his tongue barely touched
hers, and his hands gently cupped her face.  His body tingled, especially
where her hands rested on his shoulders.  He pushed his tongue a little
further into her mouth, hoping she'd take it.  It met her own, and, she
did the same to him.
    They spent the better half of an hour in the corner of that couch,
just kissing passionately.  Her hands stayed on his shoulder, and his
hands never went below hers.
    He got to walk her to the door that night, his heart swelling with
the adoration he already felt for her.  He kissed her again on her
doorstep, and she couldn't believe how lucky she was that this guy, who
was so great, actually seemed to like her.  She gave him a huge hug as he
said he guessed he had to go.
    They both went to sleep dreaming about the other, him of course,
with a tired hand that had relieved the erection she'd given him.

Chapter 8

    Her Homecoming was similar to his, they'd gone out to dinner and
then danced together the whole night.  This time they were one of the
couples on the floor who kissed like there was no tomorrow.  That night
there was no room waiting upstairs for them, the principal had seen to
that.  Both were secretly relieved, for different reasons.
    He was convinced she wasn't a virgin, just because of how mature
she acted and how good-looking she was.  He had this nagging theory that
had formed from his brief knowledge of her last boyfriend: She had slept
with him right away, then he'd just ignored her, not wanting her around
anymore.  Ryan hoped that wasn't the case.
    They talked to each other every night on the phone.  He always
made her laugh, he was so funny.  But he could get serious too, and told
her how he felt about his parents and his relationship with them, and what
he wanted to do after high school.  He was the most sensitive guy she'd
ever known, certainly a contrast to her last boyfriend.
    He wished they went to the same school, or at least lived close
enough where he could bike over to see her.  As it was it took fifteen
minutes by car to her house from his.  But whenever he went out with his
friends she went too, and he longed for his license so he could take her
out on his own, just the two of them, without having to wait for a ride.
    His parents loved her, and she liked going over there and didn't
seem to mind putting up with them.  His parents were pretty cool about
stuff, but he wasn't about to attempt to lock them out of his room with
her in there.
    A month into their relationship they'd only French-kissed.  They
hadn't had many opportunities to do more.
    One Friday night they were alone on a couch at a friend's house,
the parents gone and Ryan's friend busy in his room with his own girl.
While they were kissing, he slowly slid his hand up to her breast and
cupped it.
    Jen immediately pushed him away from her.  Ryan was hurt and
horrified, not knowing what to do, or how to react to her rejection of
him.
    She felt like a complete fool, she shouldn't have reacted that
way.  She was just so insecure about her body, and she'd panicked.  She
was scared he'd think she was a baby if he saw her.  She felt like such a
bitch.  He'd turned away from her on the couch, hurt.
    She touched his shoulder, "Ryan?"
    He didn't answer.
    "I'm sorry," she said.  "I didn't mean it, Ryan. . .  I shouldn't
have done that.  I'm sorry. . . "
    He turned to face her, not looking her in the eyes.  "What- why'd
you do that?" he asked her, the hurt evident in his voice.
    "I didn't mean it.  I'm so sorry. . . " she repeated.  He turned
away again, then looked back at her.
    "I- I'm sorry. . . " he mumbled.  He couldn't think of anything
else to say.
    "No, it's my fault.  Honest.  I- I just, I don't know. . . "
    He didn't say anything, waiting for her to finish.
    "I mean, I don't have a very good body you know," she mumbled, her
eyes filling with tears.  She'd hoped this moment wouldn't come.  "I'm
really flat.  I don't want you to be disappointed."
    He was astonished.  He'd thought he was a jerk and she just didn't
like him, but to hear this took him aback since he really couldn't care
less.
    "What?" he asked.  "Jen, I think you have a beautiful body.  Don't
worry about it, honest."
    "No I don't," she said, the tears spilling over.
    "Yes you *do*.  And I don't want you disagreeing with me either,
got it?  'Cause then you're insulting something I like, you know?  And I
don't like that."
    "I guess. . . " she sniffled, not sounding at all convinced.
    He got her some Kleenex and wiped her cheeks off.  He held her in
his arms and comforted her.
    "I'm sort of inexperienced," she blurted out.  "I guess you can
tell that.  I guess you're going to have to have some patience, you know?
'Cause I don't think- 'cause I guess I'd rather take things slow, like
this.  I can understand if you don't want that, but I'm sorry."
    "You- you've never done it before?" he asked, relieved.
    "No," she said.  "I'm a virgin.  Have you done it a lot?" she
ventured.
    He considered lying, but only briefly.  "No.  Actually, I'm- I'm
one too," he stumbled.
    "Really?" she asked, sounding amazed.
    "Yeah!  Why do you sound so surprised?  What, did you think I'm
some sort of major mack or something?" he asked.
    "Well, I don't know.  I just sort of assumed you have.  I mean,
you're so good-looking. . . "
    "Really?  You think so?"
    "Yes!"
    "Oh, thanks.  Thanks a lot.  But obviously, looks don't matter
much, because you've never done it either."
    "Oh, Ryan, you're so sweet. . . " she said, flattered.
    He leaned in and kissed her.  Kissing him back, she took his hand
and placed it over one of her breasts.
    He kept it there, enjoying the feel of her under his palm.  He
pulled her to him, his mind racing with emotions for her.  Something
occurred to him, and he pulled away from her.
    "I just thought about it," he said.
    "What?" she asked.
    "I never asked you out. . . " he said.  He took her small hand in
his large one.  He studied her face.  "Jen, will you be my girlfriend?"
he asked.
    Her face lit up.  "Oh, yes," she said.  "You know I will.  I'd
love to be."

Chapter 9

    Ryan had never felt about anyone the way he felt about Jen.  His
friends were always bugging him whether he'd "hit it" yet or not, but he
wasn't about to pressure her into it.  He loved being with her, she was so
cute and funny and sensitive.  They had this tremendous vibe together, he
knew what she was feeling, whether she was nervous, or anxious, happy or
scared.  He felt this overwhelming desire to protect her at all costs.  He
knew he was falling in love with her.
    One night they were alone in one of his friend's bedrooms,
kissing.  He was kissing her neck and her ear, which he'd discovered she
adored.  Her hands were on his chest, massaging it.  He felt she was
handling them awkwardly, like she didn't know what to do.  Still kissing
her, he gently took her hand and placed it lower, wondering what she'd do,
but sensing she wouldn't get mad.
    He was right; she rubbed him through his jeans, her hand feeling
his stiffness for the first time.  Ryan gasped in her ear from her touch,
and she grasped him and he nearly came right then.  He wanted to touch her
down there too, make her gasp in pleasure as well.  He didn't know how
she'd react to that, so instead slid his hands up under her shirt, which
she'd let him do before.  His friend bursting in on them prevented them
from going any further; she snatched her hand away and he did the same
while his friend explained his parents were home.
    That Christmas vacation he invited her up to his cabin for skiing
with his family.  His parents, especially his mom, adored her.  His mom,
Karen, had had three sons before she miscarried a girl.  They hadn't been
able to have any more children after that, though they tried.
    Ryan's little brothers, Robby and Will, thought she was great too,
and the five of them spent one winter night all playing hide-and-seek and
other games in the cabin together.  Ryan slept in the loft above his
parents room with his little brothers, and Jen was placed in the room next
to his parents.  They'd be able to hear him if he tried to sneak into her
room, he realized.
    The night before they left they were kissing on her bed, the door
open.  She got up and went to the adjoining bathroom.  She was in there
for a minute before he heard her scream.
    Ryan flew to the door, but it was locked.
    "What's the matter?" he asked.  "Jen, are you okay?"
    There was no answer, and he asked again, knocking on the door.
    "I'm okay," her muffled voice told him.  "Ryan, can you get your
mother please?"
    "My mom?  What do you want her for?"
    "Ryan, please can you just get your mom?" she asked, crying.
    He went after his mom, concerned, but feeling extremely left out.
The door was unlocked and his mom went in.  Ryan sat on the bedspread,
wondering.
    Jen sat on the toilet, crying.
    "What's the matter, honey?" Karen asked.
    She shook her head, then told her.  "I-I got my period," she
stumbled.  "I've never gotten it before."
    "Oh, honey!" Karen exclaimed, giving her a hug.
    "I don't know what to do," she cried.
    "Well, first of all, let me get you something," said Karen.  "I'll
be right back," she explained, leaving.
    When his mom walked out, Ryan jumped up.
    "What is it?" he demanded.  "What's the matter?"
    His mom just shook her head.
    "Can I go in?" he asked.
    "Better not," she answered.
    His mom returned in a second with her travel case, and went back
in the bathroom.  Ryan sat back down on the bed, having an idea what was
going on but perturbed at the same time.
    Karen pulled a few objects out of the case, explaining them and
how they were used. as well as the whole cycle.
    Jen didn't understand the tampons.  She wondered if they could go
up and get lost, besides, she added, "I don't think I can use them yet."
    "Well, sure, you can use them," said his mom.  "I prefer them over
the pads, they're not as messy and you can't feel them at all."
    "Well, no, I mean, they might hurt me.  I mean, I've never done it
you know," she said embarassedly.  Well, she thought, this is sort of a
personal moment anyway.
    "Oh," said his mom, flattered that Jen felt close enough with her
to share that.  "No, you can still use them, honey.  They're not that big,
they shouldn't hurt you although you may want to buy the teen size.  But
if you don't feel comfortable you might start out with the pads."
    "Oh."
    She took out an aspirin bottle.  "Do you have any cramps?"
    "No," she said.
    "Well, you'll probably get them sometime.  They're usually much
worse the first two days or so.  What you should do is take Advil, or
Midol, ibuprofen usually works best.  Take it every few hours as soon as
you feel any pain."
    "Does it hurt a lot?" she asked.
    "Well, it does," said his mom.  "Every woman is different so you
may not be too bad, but for me, it's horrible unless I take the pills."
    Jen looked sad.
    "But it's a good thing," assured his mom.  "When I first got mine,
I was so thrilled.  I told all my friends right away, and the ones that
hadn't started theirs were jealous."
    "Really?" asked Jen.
    "Oh, yes," remembered Karen.  "It was a big moment.  I was twelve,
I remember.  I thought I was so grown-up!" she laughed.
    "I'm fourteen. . . " said Jen.
    His mom smiled.  "I know," she said.  "But it's a great thing,
really it is.  It means you can now be a mother, your body is ready to
carry a child."
    Jen nodded, thinking.
    "Of course," his mom added.  "Your body may be ready, but that
doesn't mean the rest of you is if you know what I mean. . . " she told
her pointedly.
    "Oh, I know!" Jen laughed.  "Don't worry about that."
    "That's good," smiled Karen.
    Jen gave her a big hug, saying, "Thanks a lot, Mrs. Harper."
    "Oh no, call me Karen," she said.  "And you're welcome."
    "Thanks, Karen."
    "This was great," his mom said excitedly.  "You know I don't have
any daughters.  I never thought I'd be having this conversation.  If you
ever have any other questions, and your mom's not around or something, you
can always talk to me of course."
    "Thanks."
    "Well, I'd better leave you alone for awhile.  This is your day,
this is a big day for you.  I'll see you later!"
    "Thanks.  'Bye."
    Karen walked out, and Ryan was still sitting on the bed.
    "Well?" he asked.  "Tell me."
    "She can tell you herself, if she wants," said his mom, leaving.
    Ryan waited on the bed.  Finally he heard the toilet flush and the
door opened slowly.  She walked out slowly as well, her eyes red.
    He got up and went to her, putting his arms around her to comfort
her.
    "You okay?" he whispered.
    "Yeah," she said.  "I'm okay."
    "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
    She shrugged and laid down on the bed, hugging the pillow.  Ryan
sat next to her, rubbing her back.  He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
    "You want to tell me what happened?" he asked.
    "Oh, you don't want to hear about it. . . " she said.  "It's just
girl stuff."
    "Well, you're my girl so I'm interested.  You- you don't want to
tell me?"
    "Oh, well if you want to know.  I got my period."
    "You've never gotten it before?" he asked.
    "No, this is the first time.  I guess I'm just a late bloomer."
    "I'm sure you're fine.  Does it hurt?" he asked, curious.
    "No, but it might later.  I didn't know anything, you're mom
helped me a lot."
    "That's good.  So, you want to rest or something?  Do you want me
to leave?"
    "No."  She turned over and patted the bed next to her.  He laid
down next to her, and she rested her chin on his chest.
    "Do you think I'm dirty?" she asked him.
    "What?  No, I don't think you're dirty you silly!" he exclaimed, surprised.
    "Oh, well I didn't know.  I mean, I just didn't know."
    "Do you feel dirty?" he asked.
    She thought about it.  "Well, it's kinda gross.  I guess you
could say I feel icky."
    "Yeah, but like, now you can have babies.  You're a big girl
now," he said.
    "Yeah, I guess.  I guess we're gonna have to be careful from now
on. . . " she teased.
    "Oh, yeah!" he laughed, wishing that were the case.
    "Your mom's so great," said Jen.
    "Well, of course," Ryan said.  "She's related to me after all. .
. "
    Jen tickled him and he tickled her back until they were both
laughing hysterically.

Chapter 10

    Jen was even more innocent than Ryan had thought, but it just made
her more endearing to him.  He was getting frustrated, but he didn't let
on.  He didn't want to risk upsetting her or losing her if he pressured
her.
    But she was becoming more courageous, and he knew she liked their
make-out sessions.  She always felt him ever since that night, and one
night when they were alone in his bedroom, his parents gone, she reached
into his pants.  He groaned from the touch of her hand on his swollen
dick, and she rubbed it up and down.  Kissing him, she unzipped his pants
and pulled it out.  They both looked down at it, it was hard and
pulsating, lying flat against his stomach.  A little precum dribbled down
the sides, and she looked surprised.
    "You already did it?" she asked him shyly.
    "Oh, no," he said.  "That just happens before, you know.  Most guys
have it," he added, making sure she knew he was normal.
    She reached back down for it, picking up a drop of his precum off
and rubbing it between her fingertips, to his surprise.  Then she spread
the rest of it around the head and moved the skin up and down sensually.
She began kissing him again, still with a grip on his exposed cock.  She
licked his ears and kissed his neck.  She released it for a moment to
slide her hands up his shirt while he did the same to her.  He pulled his
shirt off and she pressed herself against his naked chest, kissing his
Adam's apple.
    His hands journeyed around her hips, reaching behind to hold her
ass.  She kept rubbing and rubbing, jacking his cock while she kissed his
chest, her mouth finding his sensitive nipples and her tongue flicking
against them.  Pretty soon he groaned loudly and she kissed his mouth,
then pulled away, excited.
    She rubbed faster and faster, and with a stronger grip and he
gasped.  His eyes rolled back while she watched, and in a choked voice he
whispered he was going to cum.  Fascinated, she watched as he arched his
back and his body stiffened.  He groaned again.  His eyes closed, she kept
jacking his throbbing cock, and grayish-white cream came spurting out of
the tip, onto his bare chest.  She hadn't known it would come out in
spurts like that, but instead had envisioned a steady stream.
    Ryan began to breathe deeper and her hand slowed.  A final gob of
cum oozed out onto her hand.  She reached up and touched one of the drops
on his chest, then an idea occurred to her and she massaged all of it into
his skin.  He leaned in and kissed her, grateful, and a little surprised
at her boldness.  She'd surprised him, she wasn't predictable, he was
finding out.
    "What does it feel like?" she asked.  Her lower body felt like it
was melting; the sight of Ryan having an orgasm made her more turned on
than she could ever remember being.
    "You've never cum before?" he asked.
    "No," she shook her head.  "At least, I don't think so. . . "
    He laughed.  "Believe me, you'd remember it if you had," he told
her.  "It's unbelievable.  It's like, the whole world explodes and you
just feel incredible."
    "Have your other girlfriends made you cum before?" she asked
boldly.
    "Well. . . " he began uncomfortably.  "They don't matter. . . "
    "Well, I just want to know," she said.  "What about Courtney?"  she
asked, referring to his last girlfriend that he'd told her about, at her
request of course.
    "Jen!  I told you, they don't matter!" he said, a bit
exasperatingly.
    "I know. . . " she said.  "But I'm just curious.  I mean, I want to
know about you," she explained.
    "Oh, I see."
    "I mean, have you cum a lot?"
    He laughed at her naivete.  "Gallons," he said.
    She looked a bit hurt, and he quickly tried to explain without
embarrassing himself too much.
    "Well, I haven't done it that much with girls.  I do it myself,"
he explained, not looking her in the eye.
    She looked relieved, but at the same time a look he'd never seen
before came across her face.
    "You mean, you masturbate?" she asked.
    "All guys masturbate," he stated matter-of-factly.  "If one ever
tells you he doesn't do it, then he's lying to you babe."
    "Wow!  How do you do it?" she asked, her eyes wide.
    "Ohhhhhhh!" he whined.  "I do *not* want to talk about this.  Can
we please talk about something else?"
    "But I want to talk about it," she said, rolling onto her stomach
and gazing at him.
    "Why?" he asked stubbornly.
    "Because it turns me on," she told him with a straight face.
    "Really?" he asked.  "Well, in that case. . . " he joked.
    "No, really.  I swear.  Where does it feel good?" she asked,
gripping his limp penis in her hand.
    "Well," said Ryan.  "Let me show you. . . "
    He placed his hand over hers, moving her index finger to just
below the head.  He placed her thumb over the head, and slowly began
moving her two fingers up and down.  His dick slowly lengthened, and he
began breathing heavily again.
    "Do you want me to play with your balls?" she asked.
    "Sure, you can play with my balls!"
    She reached down and gingerly touched the soft sack hanging
between his legs.  She took a hold of it, and rubbed the hard balls she
felt in it.
    "Be gentle," he warned.  "They're very sensitive you know."
    "I like them," she said seriously.
    Ryan laughed.  "Yeah, babe, I like them too.  That's why I said be
gentle!"
    She laughed too.  She rubbed the dent between them.  Her other
hand kept massaging his dick the way he showed her.  He groaned a little
bit.
    Ryan watched her, while she rubbed his dick up and down.  He
looked down, then back at her.
    "Do you- do you think I have a nice dick?" he asked, shyly.
    She looked up in surprise.  "Yeah!  It's cool."
    He laughed.  "I mean, do you think it's kinda. . . big maybe?"
    Now she laughed, then nodded seriously.  "It is.  It's very big.
It's very thick, too.  And long.  Have you ever measured it?" she asked,
still rubbing.
    "No," he blushed.
    "Liar!" she exclaimed.  "You have too!  I know it.  I know you
have.  How big was it?"
    He shrugged modestly, breathing hard.
    "You started this!  You tell me or I'll get a ruler and measure it
myself!"
    He grinned.  "It was like, *almost* seven inches long. . . "
    "Wow," she said, her eyes growing wide again.
    He grinned at her again, sitting up and kissing her deeply.
    Then he leaned over and got some Vaseline out of his night stand
drawer and handed it to her.
    "Use this," he blushed again.  "Otherwise it starts to hurt."
    She smiled, and applied the jelly to his hardon.  Slicked up, she
rubbed him faster and faster.
    "Oh God. . . " he moaned.  "Oh, oh baby that feels good.  Yeah,
keep going right there--ohhhhh!"
    Jen loved this, she loved giving Ryan pleasure.  He seemed to be
in another world.
    "Yeah, hold my nuts when I cum," he groaned.  She held the hot sack
in her other hand, feeling it pulsating in her grip.  Ryan thrust his hips
up at her and cried out that he was cumming.  His balls jerked and he shot
more sperm onto himself.
    He opened his eyes finally.  She rubbed the cum into his chest
again and he grunted.  He pulled her on top of him and they kissed.  He
wanted to say he loved her, because he did, but he was scared.  What if
she asked how many other people he'd said that too?  Or what if she
thought he was only saying it to her so she'd sleep with him?  So he just
held her to him.  He whispered in her ear instead, "I want you to cum now.
. . "
    She shook her head shyly, saying it was okay.
    "No, really!" he said earnestly.  "It's not fair. . .  Let me- let
me kiss you down there," he suggested softly.
    "Oh, no!" she exclaimed.  "No.  You don't have to."
    "But I want to," he insisted.
    "No.  I mean, I don't know about that."
    "Please?" he asked.
    "No, Ryan!  Okay?" she said, a little testily.
    "Okay!" he said, a bit hurt.  "I just wanted to make you feel good
too, that's all."
    "I know. . . " she said gratefully.  "And I love you for it. . .
But I just, I don't know.  Maybe you wouldn't like it.  And I don't feel
ready."
    "Okay," he said, his mind spinning that she'd said she loved him.
She didn't exactly say she loves me loves me, he thought, but still.  "But
I'll never know whether or not I like it unless I try it first of all.
But if you don't feel ready, then that's okay with me sweetheart."
    "Oh, Ryan. . . " she said, kissing him again.  "You're so sweet."
    Headlights shined through the curtains; his parents were home.  He
zipped up and put his shirt back on, she arranged her own.  They ran out
and sat on the couch, flipping on the TV while the garage door opened.
They giggled at what was on: C-Span.  He quickly changed it to MTV.
    His parents greeted them, and his dad offered to drive her home.
Ryan came with them, and tickled her in the back seat of his dad's
Mercedes on the way.  Ryan escorted her to her door and he even kissed her
in front of his dad, they didn't care who saw anymore.
    "Call you tomorrow?" he said.
    She nodded, kissing him again.  He forced himself to leave her,
desperately wishing he could take her to bed and stay with her.
    He waited for her to go inside and then regretfully climbed into
the front seat.
    "Now I don't feel like a limo driver," joked his dad, as he pulled
out of her driveway.  Ryan laughed.
    "So, did you guys have fun?" his dad asked.
    "Yeah."
    "What did you do?" he asked.
    She jerked me off twice and I felt her up, thought Ryan
sarcastically. "Oh, nothing. . . " he said.
    "We really like Jen, your mom and I do," said his dad.  "I hope you
guys go out for a long time."
    "Yeah, so do I," said Ryan.
    "I think Will has a little crush on her," laughed his dad.
    "Why?" he asked, curious.
    "Oh, he always asks if she's gonna come over.  Haven't you noticed
that?"
    "Oh yeah, he does. . .  I didn't think about it!"
    "And he says we should get her to baby-sit him instead of Mrs.
Conway."
    "Well, too bad for Will," he laughed.  "He'd better keep his hands
off my woman if he knows what's good for him!"
    "You like her a lot, don't you?" his dad asked.
    "Yeah, I do," said Ryan seriously.
    "Do you love her, you think?" he asked.
    He paused.  "I think I do," he said slowly.  "I haven't told her
that yet though."
    "That's good.  I mean, if you only think you do.  Wait until you're
sure."
    "Yeah. . . "
    "Remember Ryan," said his dad seriously, looking at him for a
second before returning his eyes to the street.  "Women are a gift.  You
aren't owed one simply because you're a man, you have to earn her, you
know?  But not like she's a possession, not like that of course.  I mean
if you don't give her your all, she's gonna be gone.  You have to be there
for her, and work your ass off for her, and treat her like a queen.  Make
sure she's happy.  Don't think of her just as a sex object, something to
jerk off into."
    "Oh, I know.  I don't," said Ryan, a little taken aback by his
dad's frankness.
    "When you meet the right girl," he said.  "She'll be the best thing
in your life.  Remember that.  But if you blow it, you're gonna be lucky
if she gives you another chance.  The luckiest bastard on the planet if
she comes back to you after you've hurt her.  Remember that, Ryan."
    They both sat in silence, thinking about his words for the rest of
the ride.  Ryan thought about how much he loved Jen, and how much he
wanted her.  Every day he loved her more.  If she ever left him he
wouldn't know what to do.

Chapter 11

    Jen became much more adventurous that spring.  She had grown about
three inches since the summer, and gained weight in all the right places
as well.  Part of her desperately wanted to make love with Ryan, and she
held herself back every time they got together.  He commented on her body
all the time, how great it was, how horny it made him.  She hadn't told
him her desires yet.  She wasn't sure yet anyway, and she knew he'd
probably shove it in her before she could say another word.
    Plus, she had this nagging feeling that he didn't love her as much
as she loved him.  He'd never told her he loved her anyway.  Well, except
once when they were in his kitchen.  He'd spun around quickly for
something and knocked his mother's glass measuring cup off the counter.
Reacting quickly, Jen jumped forward and caught it before it hit the
floor.  He'd said, "Oh my God, I love you!" like ten times in a row.  Both
Dana and Jen agreed that didn't count as a true "I love you."
    Jen knew she loved him, but she was petrified of him saying
nothing after she told him so, or of him saying, "I don't know if I love
you."
    But she didn't want him to say it if he didn't mean it, or
immediately jump into bed with him as soon as he did.  She knew he'd
probably think she was easy if she did that.  Hell, she would be easy, she
thought.  His friends sometimes were jerks to her, saying, "Have you slept
with Ryan yet?  Why not?  Don't you like him?  Are you a prude or
something?"  He was never there when they said it, and she didn't want to
mention it to him for fear he'd say, "Well, aren't you?"
    She thought he sometimes had a longing look in his eyes when he
looked at her.  She hoped she wasn't frustrating him.  Whenever they
screwed around now he practically always came, so she knew he didn't have
"blue balls" or whatever.  He kept wanting to finger her or eat her out,
but she was scared she would smell or he would be grossed out.  She'd let
him rub her between her legs over her clothes; God, it felt good.
    Ryan was getting frustrated sexually, mainly because he felt
everyone else was doing it.  He knew Jen wanted to take things slow, but
his friends were on him all the time, saying shit like, "Maybe she's
gettin' it from some other guy," and "Maybe she's a dyke," or the worst,
"Maybe she just doesn't like you."  He didn't know why his sex life (or
lack of it) was of so much concern to them.  When he'd mentioned this
point to them, they'd been defensive, saying they only wanted to help.
    She was getting so beautiful, which she always was of course.  Her
chest was getting huge, and he'd graduated from being able to touch them
to being able to kiss them.  Sex ruled his every waking thought.  When was
she going to let him, how good would he be, what would it feel like, how
often would they do it?  Sometimes in class he would just think about her
body and how much he wanted to do her.  His friend Josh's girlfriend had
let him eat her out.  He'd said it was like heaven.  Ryan wanted to do
that too.  He wanted to go down on her but she wouldn't let him.  He
thought it was strange how she wasn't into getting pleasured.  She said
giving him pleasure gave her pleasure, but he was still annoyed.
    But other than that, their relationship was great.  He'd gotten
his driving permit, and getting practice was always an excuse to see Jen.
They had such great times together.  They went and saw movies all the
time, and went out to eat with their friends.  He saw other guys looking
at her, and it made him angry, but proud at the same time.
    He had fantasies about her all the time, the usual fantasies, and
some where something bad was happening to her (he always felt a bit
guilty), but then he saves her.  Her house was on fire, she was being
mugged, or raped (he always managed to get to her before she was actually
raped) but he was the hero.  Of course he never told her these things;
she'd probably think he was a creep.  He was petrified too that she'd dump
him for someone else.
    In the winter she went to all of his soccer games that she could,
then in baseball season she was always there, in the bleachers, next to
his friends or his family.
    One Saturday after she'd gone to his baseball game, she came over
and ate dinner at his house, then they watched a movie with his family.
"It's good, clean fun," he kept saying in an adult voice, to make her
laugh.  Around midnight, his dad said he had better drive her home.  Ryan
of course volunteered to drive.
    Waiting for his dad to come out, they climbed in the car.  She sat
in the passenger seat at his urging, him saying that when he got his
license it'd be like this, and that he'd take her out, just the two of
them.  He pretended to drive, steering, moving the stick shift, and making
motor sounds.
    "Oh, no watch out for that cat!" he said, teasing her.  She loved
animals with a passion.  "Phew, missed it."  He continued with the
acceleration sounds.  "Oh, no!  It's a bunch of nuns!  Oops!  Ran over the
nuns!  Hope they didn't make a dent. . . "  She was laughing hysterically.
"Oh no!  It's a cop!  The pig's trying to pull me over.  Let's see if I
can lose him. . .  Let's see, I'm only going 125 miles an hour.  I'll turn
right and go into this alley. . .  Oops, I think I squished a bum.  Get
out of the way you stupid street vendors!  God, you'd think they own the
sidewalk. . . " he said, rolling his eyes exaggeratingly.  He made
screeching sounds, saying, "Good, I lost the copper.  Now we're home baby.
. . "
    He looked over at her, and she smiled at him.  He grinned at her.
    "Ryan, you crack me up!" she told him.
    His face turned serious, and he reached for her.  Pulling her to
him in the dark car, he kissed her gently.  He looked her in the eyes, his
heart racing.
    "Jen?"
    "Yeah Ry?" she asked.
    "I love you."
    She stared at him for a second, then her eyes filled with tears.
"Oh Ry!  I love you too.  So much.  I thought you'd never say it. . . "
    He held her to him, his heart bursting.  "I love you.  I've always
loved you, baby."
    His dad came out of the house then, and they smiled at each other.
They kissed quickly, and she got out and got into the back seat.
    His eyes kept meeting hers in the rear view mirror while he was
driving, and she smiled at him, trying to keep the tears of joy from
falling.
    He walked her to her door and they kissed.  She held his hand and
asked him if he'd come in and tuck her in goodnight.  He looked over at
his dad, raising five fingers up to symbolize "Five minutes?"  His dad
nodded and they went inside.
    The house was dark except for a few lights her parents had left on
for her.  They went in her room.  He wished he could stay, he told her
that.  She kissed him, then took out a large t-shirt to wear to bed.  She
got undressed in front of him, with the lights on, for the first time.  He
sat on her bed and stared at her, his dick throbbing in his pants while he
looked her over.  She was still short and light, but God, was she getting
built.  She pulled her hair out of the ponytail, and it fell over her
shoulders, cascading over her back and breasts.  He shook his head at her,
saying,
    "You're killing me."
    She only smiled and stood between his knees, leaning over to take
him in her arms.  She kissed him.  He looked over at the clock, he'd been
in there almost five minutes.  She smiled at him again, then pulled on the
t-shirt and climbed over him and into bed.  He had to rip himself from her
arms after he whispered how much he loved her.  She kissed him again,
whispering back that she loved him too.
    "Goodnight, my love," he said softly.
    "Goodnight, Ry,"
    He covered her up with her warm comforter.  He loved her so much
he thought he was going to explode.  It wasn't about sex.  He didn't care
if she wouldn't have sex with him for another ten years.  I could have sex
with any whore off the street, he thought.  He needed Jen, he loved Jen.
    He turned off her light and softly closed the door, then let
himself out quietly.
    Lying in bed, Jen hugged the teddy bear he'd given her for their
three-month anniversary.  She was too excited to sleep, she didn't fall to
sleep for a few hours.  She thought about how much she loved Ryan, and how
she wanted him to take her virginity, and how she wanted to marry him and
be with him forever.

continued. . .






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