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-
- The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes (235)
- -----------------------------------
-
- 1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
- A: Gifted!
-
- 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
- A: Alone.
-
- 3. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
- A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
-
- 4. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
- A: Artificial intelligence.
-
- 5. Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
- A: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
-
- 6. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
- A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
-
- 7. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
- A: She'd just dyed her hair.
-
- 8. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
- A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it
- blown around too much.
-
- 9. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
- A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
-
- 10. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
- A: You can park in the handicap zone.
-
- 11. Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
- A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.
-
- 12. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
- A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
-
- 13. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
- A: It takes too long to retrain them.
-
- 14. Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
- A: There's white-out on the screen.
-
- 15. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
- A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
-
- 16. Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
- A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they
- go down on you.
-
- 17. Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
- A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....
-
- 18. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
- A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
-
- 19. Q: How do you kill a blonde?
- A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
-
- 20. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
- A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
-
- 21. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
- A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into
- those little packages.
-
- 22. Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their
- head?
- A: All you can eat, under a buck.
-
- 23. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
- A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
-
- 24. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
- A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
-
- 25. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more
- attractive?
- A: Her ankles.
-
- 26. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
- A: Because red means stop.
-
- 27. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
- A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
-
- 28. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
- A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
-
- 29. Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
- A: They chip their teeth.
-
- 30. Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
- A: They make good ankle warmers.
-
- 31. Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
- A: Remove their underwear.
-
- 32. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
- A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
-
- 33. Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
- A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
-
- 34. Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
- A: "All the blondes have gone home!"
-
- 35. Q: What's a brunette's mating call ?
- A: Has that blonde gone yet?
-
- 36. Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
- A: "Next!"
-
- 37. Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax
- now in effect in Canada)
- A: Because they can spell it.
-
- 38. Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
- A: 69 plus G.S.T.
-
- 39. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
- A: Toes go in first.
-
- 40. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
- A: Tits go in front.
-
- 41. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
- A: An interpreter.
-
- 42. Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
- A: "Have another beer."
-
- 43. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning ?
- A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
-
- 44. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
- A1: Introduces themself.
- A2: Walks home.
-
- 45. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
- A: Fertilized.
-
- 46. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
- A: Unfertilized.
-
- 47. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
- A: Opens the car door.
-
- 48. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex ?
- A: Kick open the car door.
-
- 49. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
- A: More head room.
-
- 50. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
- A: More leg room.
-
- 51. Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
- A: Bucket seats.
-
- 52. Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
- A1: Thanks Guys.
- A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
- A3: Do you guys all play for the (..............)? insert team
- name here.
-
- 53. Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate
- before having sex?
- A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
-
- 54. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
- A: *Who cares?*
-
- 55. Q: Why do blonds have orgasms ?
- A: So they know when to stop having sex !
-
- 56. Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm????
- A1: She drops her nail-file!!!
- A2: Who cares?
- A3: She says 'Next'
- A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder
- A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes
- A6: I mean, who really cares?
- A7: The batteries have run out.
-
- 57. Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
- A: "Thanks for the refill!"
-
- 58. Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
- A: Because they don't know any better.
-
- 59. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
- A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
- A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
- A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
-
- 60. Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
- A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"
-
- 61. Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
- A1: They both have a black box.
- A2: Both have a cockpit.
-
- 62. Q: What is the difference between a blond and a 747?
- A: Not everyone has been in a 747
-
- 63. Q: What does a dumb blonde say when she gives birth?
- A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
-
- 64. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
- A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
-
- 65. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
- A: A wind tunnel.
-
- 66. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
- A: A dope ring.
-
- 67. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart
- blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10
- bill. Who picks it up?
- A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa
- Claus,
- the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
- A2: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought
- it was a gum wrapper.
-
- 68. Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
- A: To see what was on the other side.
-
- 69. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
- A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
-
- 70. Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
- A: So they know what day of the week it is.
-
- 71. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
- A: Because it kept falling out.
-
- 72. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?
- A: Wishful Thinking.
-
- 73. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
- A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
-
- 74. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who
- hits the ground first?
- A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
-
- 75. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
- A: Her IQ goes up!
-
- 76. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
- A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
-
- 77. Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
- A: Butter is difficult to spread.
-
- 78. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
- A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
- A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.
-
- 78b. Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
- A: chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
-
- 79. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
- A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
-
- 80. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
- A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
-
- 81. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
- A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
-
- 82. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
- A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
-
- 83. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
- A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it
- won't follow you around for a week.
-
- 84. Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common ?
- A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
-
- 85. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
- A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
-
- 86. Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
- A: They're both empty from the neck up.
-
- 87. Q: What do blonds and spagetthi have in common?
- A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
-
- 88. Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
- A: They both have black roots.
-
- 89. Q: What do you call a blond with a bag of sugar on her head ?
- A: Sweet Fuck All...
-
- 90. Q: Why did the deaf blond sit on a newspaper?
- A: So she could lip read.
-
- 91. Q: How do you drown a blond?
- A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
-
- 92. Q: How do you drown a blonde?
- A: Don't tell her to swallow.
-
- 93. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool ?
- A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
-
- 94. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs?
- A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
-
- 95. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip
- cookies?
- A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
- A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
-
- 96. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
- A: Proofreading.
-
- 97. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
- A: For throwing out the W's.
-
- 98. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
- A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
-
- 99. Q: What did the blonde's mum say to her before the blonde's date.
- A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
-
- 100. Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
- A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..
- I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
-
- 101. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every
- month?
- A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
-
- 102. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
- A: She threw it off a cliff.
-
- 103. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her
- jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
- A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
-
- 104. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
- A: "Nice tits!"
-
- 105. Q: How does a blonde high-5?
- A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
-
- 106. Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
- A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
-
- 107. Q: Why do blondes have legs?
- A: So they don't get stuck to the ground.
-
- 108. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn
- around and come home?
- A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was
- a television.
-
- 109. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
- A: The Blonde!
- A2: The other guys waiting their turn.
-
- 110. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling
- idiots?
- A: Flattered.
-
- 111. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
- A: They always forget the 11 in 9-1-1.
-
- 112. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been
- picked up by 'the fuzz'?
- A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'
-
- 113. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
- A: Frosted Flakes.
-
- 114. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
- A: Frosted Flakes.
-
- 115. Q: How does a blonde interpret 8.9?
- A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
-
- 116. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of
- Cheerios?
- A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
-
- 117. Q: Why do blonds have two more brain cells than a cow ?
- A: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
-
- 118. Q: Why don't blonds breast feed?
- A: Because they always burn their niples.
-
- 119. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
- A: To cover up the valve stem.
-
- 120. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
- A: Spot.
-
- 121. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
- A: A Space Invader.
-
- 122. Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
- A: Air Supply.
-
- 123. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
- A: The back of her head.
-
- 124. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's
- A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!
-
- 125. Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
- A: Tell them a joke on Friday night !
-
- 126. Q: Why did God create blondes?
- A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
-
- 126a Q: Why did God create brunettes?
- A: Neither could the blondes.
-
- 127. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
- A: Branch Manager.
-
- 128. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
- A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
-
- 129. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ?
- A: A blond electrician
-
- 130. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
- A1: So brunets can remember them.
- A2: Because blonds are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
-
- 131. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde ????
- A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!
-
- 132. Q: What do you call a smart blond?
- A: A labrador.
- A2: An indicator of a really bad hangover.
-
- 134. Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
- A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
-
- 135. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
- A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.
-
- 136. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?
- A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
-
- 137. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
- A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
-
- 138. Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
- A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
-
- 139. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate
- chip cookies?
- A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
-
- 140. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see
- where the sun went ? It finally dawned on here.
-
-
- 141. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw
- a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute,
- she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
-
- On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said
- "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had
- cleaned 43 restrooms.
-
- 142. How about the suicide blonde,
- she dyed by her own hand.
-
- 143. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The
- brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The
- blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
-
-
- 144. A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the
- wrong way on a one-way street.
- Cop: Do you know where you were going?
- Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the
- people were leaving.
-
-
- 145. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
- "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
- "Driver's licence? What's that?..."
- "It's a little card with your picture on it."
- "Oh, duh! Here it is..."
- "May I have your car insurance?"
- "What's that?..."
- "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the
- car."
- "Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
- The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the
- blonde exclaims:"Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"
-
-
- 146. Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron", then we
- could do without the ironing lady.
- Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to Fuck me properly we
- could do without the gardener.
-
-
- 147. A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
- Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
- Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
- Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
- Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
-
-
- 148. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of
- them decides to call 911:
- Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing
- a light bulb.
- Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
- Blonde: Yes.
- Operator: The power in the house in on?
- Blonde: Of course.
- Operator: And the switch is on?
- Blonde: Yes, yes.
- Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
- Blonde: No, it's working fine.
- Operator: Then what's the problem?
- Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and
- we all fell and hurt ourselves.
-
-
- 149. What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
- He wanted to know who the other man was...
-
-
- 150. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead,
- and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and
- estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to
- swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She
- swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she
- drowned.
- The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made
- it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and
- starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more
- endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got
- tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
- So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think
- I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15
- miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but
- she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
-
- 151. This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when
- the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull
- you finger out, I'll sink?"
-
- 152. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down
- and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks
- and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No.
- Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguig, and one
- half hour later they were both killed by a train.
-
- 153. The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what
- was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her. Her
- mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds
- and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can fuck and suck with the
- best of them. But he says I can't cook"
-
- 154. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
- A: The Panama Canal is a Busy Ditch.
-
- 155. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
- A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
-
- 156. A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they
- just don't remember who with.
-
- 157. Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
- A: She fell out of the tree.
-
- 158. Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw
- a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver
- blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like
- that that give us a bad name!" To this the other blonde replied "I
- know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."
-
- 159. Then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan
- "Billions Served - just today"
-
- 160. Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
- A: They're doing research on black holes.
-
- 161. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
- A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the
- bosses' faces.
-
- 161. Q:What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
- A:You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.
-
- 162.Q:Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
- A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
-
- 163. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
- A1: Blow in her ear.
- A2: Buy her another beer.
-
- 164. Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac,
- and a blonde?
- A: The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?"
- The nympho says "Are you done already?"
- The blonde says "Beige...I think I'll paint the
- ceiling beige."
-
- 165. Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
- A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
-
- 166. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
- A: Perri-air
-
- 167. Q: What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a
- blonde track team?
- A: The pygmies are Cunning Runts.
-
- 168. Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
- A: Last years hide and go seek winner.
-
- 169 Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
- A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was
- still stuck.
-
- 170. Q: Why did the blond take her typewriter to the doctor ??
- A: She thought it was pregnant becaus missed a period.
-
- 171. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
- A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
-
- 172. Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
- A: The Air Pump!
-
- 173. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
- A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
-
- 174. Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
- A: Because she got an F in sex.
-
- 175. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
- A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
- 176. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road.
- R: I don't know.
- A: neither did she.
-
- 177. Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the
- air?
- A: She missed.
-
- 180. Over the weekend I(can't remember name - on newsgrazer) heard a
- blonde telling this joke:
- *
- *Blonde Asks: What do you call a blonde in between two
- brunettes?
- *Blonde Answers: An interprolater!
- *
- *We were laughing so hard we thought we were going to die. The
- funny
- *part was that she thought we were laughing at her joke.
-
- 181. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
- A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to
- do...
-
- 182 Q: Why do blondes use tapons with extra long strings?
- A: So the crabs can go bunji jumping.
-
- 183. Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
- A: Peroxide.
-
- 184. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg.
- A: nothing - they've never met.
-
- 185. Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
- A: She can't say "No".
-
- 186 Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Peurto
- Rican?
- A: Retardo.
-
- 187 Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher
- learning?
- A: A visitor.
-
- 188 Q: Why did the blonde wear Condoms on her ears?
- A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
-
- 189 Q: Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Supermarket
- Trolley.
- A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
-
- 190 Q. Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
- A. They can't keep their calves together!
-
- 191. Q: What was the blond psychic's greatest achievment?
- A: An IN-body experience!
-
- 192. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
- A: After a dye job.
-
- 193. Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
- A: Humpme Dumpme.
-
- 194. Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
- A: There's white-out on the screen.
- Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
- A: There's writing on the white-out.
-
- 195. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
- A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
-
- 196. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
- A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression
- in her forehead!
-
- 197. Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading
- her
- nametag) ?
- A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
-
- 198. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
- A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
-
- 199. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
- A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
-
- 200. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
- A: They can't find the zipper.
-
- 210. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini
- skirts?
- A: Cause their balls show!
-
- 202. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
- A: More leg room.
-
- 203. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
- A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
-
- 203. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
- A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
-
- 204. Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
- A: To turn the blinker off.
-
- 205. Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
- A: An Air Bag.
-
- 206. Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a
- blonde
- drives a car?
- A: Cause she blows the horn!!!!!
-
- 207. Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
- A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
-
- 208. Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
- A: Bucket seats.
-
- 209. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
- A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn.
-
- 210. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
- A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.
-
- 211. Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
- A: Data transfer.
-
- 212. Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
- A1: They both have a black box.
- A2: Both have a cockpit.
-
- 213. Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
- A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
-
- 214. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
- A: Tell her she's pregnant.
-
- 215. Q: What will she ask you?
- A: "Is it mine?"
-
- 216. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?
- A: Wishful Thinking.
-
- 217 Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
- A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
-
- 218. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
- A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
-
- 219. Q: What's the difference between a blond having her period and
- a terrorist?
- A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
-
- 220. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
- A: The shopping trolley has a mind of its own!
-
- 221. Q: What is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
- A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
-
- 222. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
- A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a
- blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
-
- 223. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
- A: She kept having affairs with men!
-
- 224. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
- A: She drowns it.
-
- 225. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
- A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
-
- 226. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
- A: A mental block.
-
- 227. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
- A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.
-
- 228. Q: Why did they call the blond twinkie?
- A: She liked to be filled with cream.
-
- 229. Q: Why do blondes have periods?
- A: They deserve them
-
- 230. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
- A: By the ears.
-
- 231. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her
- thoughts?
- A: Change.
-
- 232. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
- A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the
- floor!
-
- 233. Q: Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
- A: Because you don't have to marry them for sex!
-
- 234. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of
- their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
-
- Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
-
- Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting
- to rain and the top is down!
-
-
- 235. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the
- bartender:
- Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
- Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
- Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
- Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
- Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
- Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
- Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
- Bartender: "What's a 15?"
- Blonde: "7 and 7"
-