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- The O.J. Trial, as told by The Cat in the Hat
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- I did not kill my lovely wife.
- I did not slash her with a knife.
- I did not bonk her in the head.
- I did not know that she was dead.
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- I stayed at home that fateful night.
- I took a cab, then took a flight.
- The bag I had was just for me.
- My bag! My bag! Leave it be!
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- When I came home I had a gash.
- My hand was gashed from broken glass.
- I cut my hand upon a glass.
- A broken glass did cause that gash.
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- My friend, he took me for a ride.
- All through L.A., from side to side.
- From North to South, we took a ride.
- But from the cops, I could not hide.
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- And now we've been here for a year.
- A year! A year! Just sitting here!
- The DNA, the hem and haw.
- The circus-hype the viewers saw.
- A year! A year! Just sitting here!
- And lawyers charge by the hour, I fear.
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- If I'm found "Guilty," I'll appeal.
- Appeal! Appeal! I will appeal!
- I'll wheedle and whine; I'll cut a deal!
- If it's "Not Guilty," so glad I'll feel.
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- And...
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- DID YOU DO THIS AWFUL CRIME?
- DID YOU DO IT ANYTIME?
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- I did not do this awful crime.
- I could not, would not, anytime.
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- DID YOU TAKE THIS PERSON'S LIFE?
- DID YOU DO IT WITH A KNIFE?
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- I did not do it with a knife.
- I did not, could not, kill my wife.
- I did not do this awful crime
- I could not, would not, anytime.
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- DID YOU LEAVE A POOL OF BLOOD?
- DID YOU DROP THIS BLOODY GLOVE?
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- I did not leave a pool of blood.
- I can not even wear that glove.
- I did not do it with a knife.
- I did not, could not, kill my wife.
- I did not do this awful crime
- I could not, would not, anytime.
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- SHAPIRO
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- END
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