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- THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE BORED!
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- Downloaded from the Internet by Tony Kelly
- Author: unknown! But it's freely copiable stuff!
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- Wax the ceiling.
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- Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car.
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- Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really
- does land on all four feet.
- Repeat above until failure.
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- Rearrange political campaign signs.
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- Sharpen your teeth.
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- Play Houdini with one of your siblings.
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- Braid your dogs hair.
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- Clean and polish your belly button.
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- Water your dog...see if he grows.
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- Wash a tree.
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- Genuflect to Larwence Welk.
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- Knight yourself and some close friends.
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- Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending.
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- Flirt with an evergreen.
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- Scare Stephen King.
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- Give your cat a mohawk.
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- Purr.
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- Mow your carpet.
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- Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)
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- Whine.
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- Play Pat Boone records backwards.
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- Re-elect Richard Nixon.
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- Dress like your favorite Heavy Metal group...surprise your grandmother.
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- Listen to a painting.
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- Play with matches.
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- Buff your cat.
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- Raise professional racing ferrets.
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- Paint your home...day-glo orange.
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- Dial-a-Prayer and argue.
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- Read Homer in the original Greek.
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- Learn Greek.
- Change your mind.
- Change it back.
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- Watch the sun...see if it moves.
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- Mail Jerry Falwell a Hustler magazine.
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- Recite Roman poetry...to your toaster.
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- Paint your windows.
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- Smile.
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- Paint a smile.
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- Shoot at a fire hydrant.
- Apologize to it.
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- See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement.
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- Rotate your garden...daily.
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- Plant a shoe.
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- Sweat.
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- Give a Rorschach (Ink-blot) Test to your gerbil.
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- Take apart all your major kitchen appliances.
- Mix and match the parts.
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- Take your sofa for a walk.
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- Dial 999... breath heavily.
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- Go to a funeral...tell jokes.
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- Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets.
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- Starch your shoes.
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- Get a dog to chase your car.
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- Let him catch it.
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- Form a political party.
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- Throw a political party.
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- Climb a sidewalk.
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- Ride a loaf of bread.
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- Annoy yourself.
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- Get angry with yourself.
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- Stop speaking to yourself.
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- Kiss and make-up.
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- Stand on your head.
- Stand on someone else's head.
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- Read a Harlequine Romance Novel...but only if you're REALLY bored.
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- END
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