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- All behavior leads somewhere. When you help ';
- @5 see the end of @3 behavior in the ';
- beginning you help @1 learn a lot about how ';
- things go right and how they go wrong. ';
- ';
- Knowing this, @5 is in a better position ';
- to know what self-control demands and how to ';
- exercise the self-control needed to make things ';
- go right. Behavior and self-discipline do not ';
- occur in a vacuum or as an internal event. ';
- Those around @5 can help encourage this ';
- controlled expression by the rewards they give ';
- @1 when the control is demonstrated. ';
- ';
- You can make this possible by helping @5 ':
- to recognize and to look for the signs of those ';
- rewards. ';
- ';
- Playing it safe does not help @3 acquire ';
- greater amounts of self-control. ';
- The key to this growth is for @5 to ';
- assume risks that are realistic. Often more ';
- can be learned from an unsuccessful venture than';
- from a successful one. Help @5 to ';
- realize that the only real failure is the fail- ';
- ure to learn from experience. You can do this by';
- making the shift from ends alone to the process.';
- ';
- Working with others is a good way to develop ';
- self-discipline. ';
- You can count on others to provide a constantly ';
- shifting set of circumstances. Working with ';
- others demands that control be developed to ';
- shift behavior when those around @1 shift ';
- their behavior. Putting @5 in a posi- ';
- tion to have to work with others in order to get';
- what they want encourages that control. ';
- ';
- We learn to control our actions in order to make';
- sure that things come out the way we want them. ';
- However, others may want us to do things ';
- differently in order for things to come out the ';
- way they want them to. To see this and to ';
- understand and develop the control necessary to ';
- please others, we must be able to adopt ';
- another's point of view. ';
- ';
- This can be encouraged by asking @5 ';
- how @3 thinks others feel about what @3 did. ';
- ';
- In many social situations there is behavior ';
- that is acceptable and behavior that is not ';
- acceptable. Learning what is expected and how ';
- to do it gives @5 access to the control ';
- necessary to do the acceptable thing when it is ';
- called for. ';
- The best way to show @1 this is through your ';
- example. Show @5 the acceptable behav- ';
- ior and when it is done to promote social self- ';
- control. ';
- Self-control is gained from dealing with ';
- others appropriately when they do not do the ';
- "right thing" or the thing we would like them ';
- to do. ';
- ';
- Learning to tolerate the misbehavior of others ';
- without it determining our own behavior is a ';
- valuable way to learn the distinction between ';
- ourselves and others, as well as to learn the ';
- self-control to behave independently of others. ';
- Mastery means that what we do is predictable ';
- and the outcome assured. ';
- ';
- This comes from knowing how to do something and ';
- having the chance elements eliminated or ';
- accounted for. ';
- ';
- Adults can help a child acquire mastery by ';
- telling or showing a child how to do something ';
- and by working to keep things on track. ';
- We can better control our behavior when we know ';
- clearly and explicitly what is expected of us at';
- any point in time. If we want to please, we ';
- have a reason to try to meet these expectations.';
- ';
- Clarity guides our actions and enables us to ';
- acquire the fine tuning necessary to keep things';
- on track. Uncertainty leads to anxiety and a ';
- loss of control and motivation. ';
- ';
- ';
- ';
- ';
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