NetNews Usenet Archive 1993 #3/NN_1993_3.iso/spool/talk/bizarre/46477

Internet Message Format | 1993-01-25 | 7.0 KB

Path: sparky!uunet!news.larc.nasa.gov!grissom.larc.nasa.gov!kludge
From: [e-mail] (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Bob Party--- New Updated Announcement
Date: 26 Jan 1993 03:09:46 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Lines: 147
Distribution: world
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

This is the Bob Party Announcement, revision 3, to supersede all
previous revisions.  There have been alterations to a lot of things
including the directions, and the addition of hotel information.

An East Coast Bob party is taking place on Feb 13 at the home of Scott
Dorsey ([e-mail]).  It is co-sponsored by him and by
Gypsy and her Womdidgious Hooters ([e-mail]).  You, by virtue
of your reading this newsgroup, are invited.  The party is held at the
Institute of Boat Anchors in Williamsburg, VA.

Note: This is a cultured and urbane party.  The management reserves the right
to remove people who are not being cultured and urbane.  The definition of
cultured and urbane is left up to the management to interpret as they see
fit.  Note well that having violent sex in public places is viewed as cultured
and urbane, while stealing art objects is not.

Bring:

1. Food
2. Guitars (for those people who play guitars)
3. Instruments that are not guitars (for those people who play instruments
    that are not guitars).  Do provide warning ahead of time for large
    instruments (ie. Steinways).
4. Toys
5. Games
6. A Brain.  This is important.
7. Items to barbecue.  President Bongo and expert technicians from the Barbecue
   Liberation Front will be in attendence, so be sure to bring whomever, errr..
   whatever you wish barbecued.
8. A Merck index.  Mine got borrowed and I need a replacement.

Do not bring:

1. Smoking materials  (There is enough flammable material in the house to
    take out a small South American country.  If you have ever seen nitrate
    film go up, you'll know why smoking is restricted to the backyard).
2. Illegal substances (We'll be getting a cameo appearance from Officer
    Christie of the Williamsburg Sheriff's department some time in the
    evening, I would suspect).
3. Nuclear bombs (We've already got plenty)
4. Silly String
5. Some asshole we've never heard of who will get drunk, break things,
    make the women nervous, and want to discuss his personal problems
    with total strangers.
6. Copulating livestock
7. Recorded music.  An unusual selection will be provided.  One exception
   to this rule is that tapes of yourself will be allowed (DAT, 1/4", 1/2")
   in lieu of actual performance (see items 2 and 3 above).
8. Prince Charles.  He's in town but we'd appreciate keeping him out
   of the party proper.

The management will not be responsible for any damage to any articles you bring
or any injury inflicted upon your body.  You, however, are responsible for
anything the management wants you to be.  We won't really be able to provide
much crash space, but in February you can get a double-occupancy hotel room
around here for very little, and they won't care much if you put fifty people
in it.

This is a resort town, in an off-season.  Even though Prince Charles will
be in town for the 300th anniversary of the local college (something I had
not realized when scheduling the Bob), there are still a lot of empty hotel
rooms in town.  There are fifteen pages of hotels in the yellow pages, which
are even larger than the Massage entry in the Honolulu yellow pages.  I have
made a list of all of the open hotels within a quarter mile of my front door,
though there are several others that are closed for the winter.  They are
arranged in order of proximity:

Howard Johnson's        $29.00 single
[phone]

John Smith Motor Lodge        $27.95 (has 10% AAA or military discount)
[phone] or [phone]

Quality Inn Mt. Vernon        $38.00 (2 double beds), $49.00 (king)
[phone]

Best Western Westpark        $25.00 (2 double beds)
[phone]

Budget Host
(no telephone)

Carolynn Court            $25.00
[phone]

Fairway Inn            $25.00
(new management-- no phone yet)

It is strictly forbidden to dress up as the Pope and breakdance on the floor.
Anyone found so doing will be forced to use the Vax.  No FIDONET weenies.
BITNET cobbers from sites not running JNET will be allowed in.  Twelve year
old runaways who solicit anal sex from partygoers will be evicted.
Unplasticized PVC/PVA copolymers are acceptable, but not allowed for use
in food items.  Please RSVP if possible.

How to get there:

LAND
----

Williamsburg is located on Rt. 64 in Virginia, between Richmond and Norfolk.
You can get to it from Rt. 95 or 85 in Richmond if you are coming from the
Boston or Miami corridors.  Get onto 295 from 85 or 95, as 295 winds around
Richmond.  Then take the 64 (to Norfolk/Williamsburg, not to Charlottesville)
exit from 295.

From Rt. 64, take exit 234.  This is marked "Rt. 646-- Lightfoot" and as you
get off the exit ramp, you'll want to take a right onto rt. 646.  You'll go
about a mile through farmland.  Be sure to say hello to the cows.  Eventually
you'll come to a light where the road ends.  Don't turn at the KOA
campground like some other joker did.  Instead, turn left at this light onto
Rt. 60, otherwise called Richmond Road.  Go past some outlet malls, and
through four stoplights.  It'll be about a four-mile drive until you get to
the fifth light, with a Wendy's on the left hand side and the Virginia Ham
Store on the right (but it's difficult to see the ham store).  Take a right
here, and go into the Skipwith Farms subdivision.  You'll know it by the
huge white sign that you pass.  Now, make the first right onto Thomas Nelson
Lane.  The seventh house on the left will be 217 Thomas Nelson, with two
evergreens on either side of the driveway and a dipole antenna slung between
two trees about fifty feet above the house.  I may put a green light in
front of the house for easy location.  Talk-in on 28.620 MHz.

It's possible to take the train, too.  Amtrak does stop at Williamsburg on
the way to Norfolk.  I don't know bugger-all about the schedules, though.

SEA
---
Your best bet is to travel the inland waterway down to the Chesapeake Bay.
Take the James River inlet and dock at Jamestown Marina.  Call us and we'll
send out the wheelchair for you.  We will not accept patched calls from
lost mariners without adequate charts.

AIR
---

Flying commercial, the nearest airport is the Williamsburg-Newport News
airport, sometimes called the Hampton-Newport News airport (by USAir) and
the Patrick Henry airport (by everyone else).  You can get a shuttle from the
airport to the Williamsburg hotels.  Call us from a hotel and we'll send
out the wheelchair for you.

For small aircraft, the Williamsburg Airport is available, though there is
no tower or ability to handle IFR traffic.  Just check Unicom to see if there
is any traffic in the area and go ahead and land.  If the airport is locked,
just leave the plane on the grassy strip and leave a note on the front door
for Bob, telling him what plane you left and where.  He'll charge you for
storage upon departure.