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- Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.prose
- Path: sparky!uunet!spool.mu.edu!yale.edu!newsserver.jvnc.net!phage!boutell
- From: boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell)
- Subject: NYC
- Message-ID: <C16MHK.4x3@phage.cshl.org>
- Sender: news@phage.cshl.org
- Organization: Cold Spring Harbor Labs
- Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 02:20:07 GMT
- Lines: 90
-
-
- NYC
- ---
-
- Someone asked whether you get hit by more raindrops when running,
- or when walking. I assume their goal was to get out of the rain.
- Mine is somewhat different, but the answer to the question is
- still relevant. It all depends on the character of the rain.
-
- When it's raining wet slattery carbon and the taste is uniformly
- bitter I'm all for running, not because I'll get less wet (I haven't
- done the physics, but I suspect I'll get hit by more rain) but
- because I want to get inside, out of the rain, as quickly as possible.
- Misery is misery, be it mild or intense. Standing in the rain
- with your tongue out pretending it's pleasant, sort of, will
- only get you wet, and fools no one. The best approach to an oncoming
- thunderhead is to struggle through it. You get out on the other side faster,
- with a better story to tell.
-
- I am ready and willing to live somewhere. Moving for the sake of moving
- has become an excuse and not a pleasure,
- and I am now coming to the admission that I should not
- be jealous of birds. They see everything from a great height, but
- the message arrives in a miniscule brain, a brain with little capacity
- for the interconnection of detail. There are evolutionary explanations
- for this. My explanation is that birds see too much too quickly
- for any of it to matter.
-
- But I can't live here. This morning, the radio in my boss's car:
- "The Inaugurbzzzitttitttittitsang a song forbzzzztttzzzz." Trying to
- listen to the voice of the rest of us, tuning it in on a crystal
- set in the Galapagos Islands. Rare, obselete birds, protected by natural
- obstacles: the sea. The air. New York City, the great singularity
- through which all things entering Long Island must be filtered.
- All things leaving Long Island do so through that filter also.
- The waste of the island cannot be a source of concern because
- it vanishes through the portal and is not seen again.
- A signal cannot penetrate it, not unchanged. And so I cannot
- live here, because it would be a mistake to say that the grass
- is always greener. It would be a mistake to say that it is
- green at all.
-
- I want to live in the telephone switchboard. I want to live in the
- center of the network. I want to stand in a roomful of bright children.
- I want to see the consequences of their actions and my actions
- as plain as the stroke of a paintbrush.
-
- In cities everything is obvious, and everything that happens
- is the consequence of a human action.
- There is no rain, only the results of what we have purchased,
- by our wealth or lack of it, our effort or lack of it. The meat can be
- shipped in, the garbage can be shipped out, but the garbage still
- piles up in the streets. Its existence can be ignored, but only
- by conscious, daily choice. It cannot be removed by walking
- slowly or running quickly, because it will still be there when we
- come back outside. The weather does not change until we change it.
-
- And the meat piles up in the streets also. The unwanted and
- unacknowledged, the homeless and wretched, are not in faraway
- places being supported by faraway money checked off on an annual
- basis. The unwanted are on the streets, and they cannot or will not
- leave, and they must eventually be acknowledged. Their existence
- can be ignored, but only by conscious, daily choice. They cannot
- be removed by walking slowly past, head to the side or down,
- quarter in outstretched palm, or by running, jumping over their feet
- on the stoop, quickly closing the door. They are still there when
- we come back outside; they cannot or will not blow away or disperse
- along a fault line with another passing front. There is a
- human temperature inversion hanging over cities, that keeps
- the weather steady, keeps the people (and the garbage) where they are.
- Whatever divinity disperses storms elsewhere has said, "you
- were cocky enough to build this place; let's see if you can
- keep it in order. Expect no help from me."
-
- It is just such a place that calls me, calls me because however
- difficult its existence may be, it exists at its own expense,
- on its own terms, and if I am able to live there, if the
- firm can break even in the heart and in the pocket, then
- anything is possible, any place capable of redemption, any person
- capable of the divine.
-
-
- -T
-
- Uncas Walk
-
- --
- Tom Boutell, boutell@cshl.org
-
- Clausthaler is the best non - alcoholic beer in the known universe.
-