NetNews Usenet Archive 1993 #3/NN_1993_3.iso/spool/soc/bi/19193

Internet Message Format | 1993-01-26 | 2.9 KB

Path: sparky!uunet!spool.mu.edu!agate!ames!sun-barr!male.EBay.Sun.COM!jethro.Corp.Sun.COM!jethro!zen
From: [e-mail] (d   [phone])
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: How to have a good cry?
Date: 26 Jan 93 01:04:35
Organization: savage hackers
Lines: 47
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
References: <[e-mail]>
NNTP-Posting-Host: death.corp.sun.com
In-reply-to: [e-mail]'s message of Mon, 25 Jan 1993 17:12:16 GMT


In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Guy Barry) writes:
> The trouble is, I've
> got rather out of practice at crying.  I can manage a few tears, but I
> can't remember the last time I sat down and had a really good sob.  So
> does anyone have any ideas about how to get the tears flowing?

  Now that's an interesting question...

> I was
> wondering if I should get hold of the song that was playing in the
> dream, for instance.  Do people find it easier to cry alone, or do
> they prefer a shoulder to cry on?

  The song might help... but if you're musically driven, then you might
even make a whole tape of songs that deal with your emotional problem
(lost love, death, whatever -- there are songs for just about anything),
and then either take a long drive alone with them playing, or maybe sit
at home, with a candle lighting the way, concentrating on the music and
feelings and the light... but if you can, you could try to get someone
who you might trust enough for you to let go around.  You should
probably warn them that you're emotionally distressed, if they didn't
know already...  and then see if you can tell them all about it.  Them
being physically supportive can help (hugging, stroking you, whatever)
let feelings go.  If the problem is dealing with someone in the past,
you might try to confront them with all the pain, if they are
alive/around, or if that's a possibility... if it isn't, then you can
either have an imaginary conversation with them (aided by music/mood/
setting again), or maybe even have some friend play the role of the
other person.  It's a bit rough trying to help you, not knowing you or
what happened, and seeing how you seem reluctant to talk about it.  If
it was an event, such a fire, accident with firearms, whatever, then
perhaps going back to the scene of the incident could help recreate the
mood and bring your briney salvation.

  This can be all fairly dangerous stuff to do alone... while crying
might be what you need, it might be something else that you'll require
to let go... I think that things can often be more healing if you can do
it with someone else to help guide/be with you... it seems to somehow
make it more real, if someone else is there to validate your feelings,
but it's a very individual thing.

  However, this is all pure amatuer psychology.  You might consider
asking a real counselor who knows what they are doing, rather than a
bunch of (even well-meaning) folks on the net.

 -- d