NetNews Usenet Archive 1993 #3/NN_1993_3.iso/spool/soc/bi/19089

Text File | 1993-01-25 | 2.8 KB | 58 lines

Newsgroups: soc.bi
Path: sparky!uunet!pipex!warwick!pavo.csi.cam.ac.uk!grebe.cl.cam.ac.uk!gdb15
From: [e-mail] (Guy Barry)
Subject: Re: Talking about sex (was Re: Party Face, Net Face)
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Sender: [e-mail] (USENET news)
Nntp-Posting-Host: grebe.cl.cam.ac.uk
Reply-To: [e-mail]
Organization: U of Cambridge Computer Lab, UK
References: <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]>
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 11:48:50 GMT
Lines: 44

In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] writes:
>In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] writes:
>
>>As for trying to tell people I'm a virgin (aaarrrrggghhh! the V-word!)
>>I sometimes get the impression that people would be happier hearing
>>that I'm Jack the Ripper.  I'm not asking them to do a conversion
>>job on me, just to accept the simple fact, but for some reason
>>people find it difficult to deal with.  And yet I didn't *choose*
>>to be a virgin, it just happens to be the default...
>
>   Perhaps there's a certain amount of discomfort because those
>people feel that they can't adequately describe their experiences
>to someone who hasn't been sexual?

Careful!  I said I was a virgin, not that I hadn't been sexual.  (Here
I go, fending off all the old misconceptions again... sigh...)

Obviouly people are going to get fairly blank looks from me if they
start trying to describe things I've no experience of, just as other
people sometimes give me blank looks when I talk about (say) radio
comedy.  But I don't go all uneasy if someone says to me "I've never
listened to radio comedy".  Why should other people be uneasy if
I tell them I've never had sex?

>I know that during the
>intervals when I was celibate, and, for that matter, before I
>started becoming an e-slut, I would get rather uncomfortable
>listening to people discuss their sexual experiences, et alii, and
>it might work in reverse.

Yes -- it's very easy to think they're trying to intimidate you,
or show they're better than you in some way.  I'd expect to feel
excluded if I latched onto a group of people who were discussing
their sexual experiences.  On the other hand, I wouldn't expect
to feel excluded in a one-to-one conversation with someone
who was sexually experienced, since I'd expect them to be able
to make allowances for the person they were talking to.
Unfortunately, it seems that many people can't.

--
Guy Barry, University of Cambridge | Phone: [phone]
Computer Laboratory                | Fax: [phone]
New Museums Site, Pembroke Street  | JANET: [e-mail]
Cambridge CB2 3QG, England, UK     | Internet: [e-mail]