NetNews Usenet Archive 1993 #3/NN_1993_3.iso/spool/misc/kids/33392

Text File | 1993-01-25 | 2.7 KB | 54 lines

Newsgroups: misc.kids
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From: [e-mail] (Andy Lowry)
Subject: Re: SAFE SEX or SAFER SEX?
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In-Reply-To: [e-mail]'s message of Mon, 25 Jan 1993 17:21:02 GMT
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 20:15:17 GMT
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
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In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Kathy Wilk) writes:
 ...
 >   If you talk about sex with a condom, use the correct term - SAFER
 > sex.  If condoms are AIDs-proof (and I don't mean 99.1%), please
 > clarify this matter for me.
 >   You can use the term 'SAFER sex' when talking about approving of your
 > teens having sex and be more realistic about what you are approving, I would
 > think.

Given that the term "safe sex" is now pretty much entrenched, you
probably won't be successful if you mount a campaign to get society at
large to switch to your more accurate term.  So I'd suggest that a
more realistic and worthwhile approach is to make sure that your
children understand that when people say "safe sex" they're not
talking about something that's 100% safe.  Using the term "safer sex"
in your own discussions would make sense only if you made sure your
kids understand that there's this other term that they'll hear, and
that it means the same thing.  Otherwise you'll just compound the risk
for your kids, since logic would suggest that two different terms
would naturally refer to two different things.

Even better would be to teach your kids that almost without exception,
the word "safe" is used in a relative manner, since hardly anything is
ever 100% safe.  So, e.g., if somebody tells them it's safe to walk on
the ice, they should interpret it to mean that the chances of falling
through are very slight, in the estimation of the speaker.

The important thing here, of course, is to make sure that your
children understand the potential consequences of sexual activity, and
practices that minimize the risk of incurring those consequences.
Also, they need to feel empowered to implement those practices should
they choose to have sex (e.g. they should know where they can obtain
condoms).  If you only teach the risks and assume that your child will
choose abstinence based on that teaching, in all likelihood you'll be
wrong, and your child may well be unprepared to approach the
experience in a responsible manner.
--
Andy Lowry, [e-mail], [phone]
IBM Research, P.O. Box 704, Yorktown Heights, NY  10598