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- From: russw@cs.utexas.edu (Russ Williams)
- Newsgroups: alt.transgendered
- Subject: Receiving a hostile reaction to crossdressing
- Date: 27 Jan 1993 00:24:41 -0600
- Organization: Great Northern Hotel
- Lines: 73
- Message-ID: <1k59r9INNe98@im4u.cs.utexas.edu>
- NNTP-Posting-Host: im4u.cs.utexas.edu
-
-
- Well, the inevitable (I suppose) finally happened; I got a really
- hostile negative reaction while crossdressed.
-
- Saturday night I went out CDed for the 6th time. (If I keep this up,
- I'll soon pass the milestone of not remembering how many times I've
- done it!) I went to a rave with my girlfriend & a male friend of ours.
- We had a fine time dancing and hanging out until 2 or 2:30am, then
- decided to go hit a 24-hour restaurant that's pretty mellow and
- has a diverse alternative clientele. (Kerbey Lane on S. Lamar for you
- Austinites.) There was a crowd, we waited a while and finally got
- our table and ate, all with no problem. I was wearing a neat black
- off-the-shoulder cotton dress that looks vaguely vampire/witch (I
- originally bought it back in October and used it during Halloween
- week) with black hose and heels. The unusual part :-) is my beard;
- makes it immediately obvious I'm a guy in a dress. So we're leaving,
- paying at the cashier, when 2 skinheads notice me and start saying
- "that's a guy" "sick" etc. I didn't notice them at first -- I think
- the evening had gone so well that I was completely oblivious to the
- idea that people might have a negative reaction. My girlfriend
- noticed them first and asked "why are you all saying that stuff?" and
- one raised his fist and chanted "White Power!" Weird! One never
- knows what to do in situations like this... we decided to just leave
- and not get further entangled with the pair. As I walked past, the
- drunker of the two pointed in my face and said "You're a sick
- motherfucker!" then paused, obviously waiting for a reaction. I
- briefly pondered whether to reply in kind (which seemed
- unconstructive) or with a cleverer insult (which would have been lost
- on his alcohol-fuzzed brain) or what, and instead just casually
- remarked "You're a friendly dude..." He stared a moment then punched
- me in the arm, whereupon I said "Oh, that's real mature" and we left.
- It clearly bugged him that he wasn't going to get a fight, because a
- moment later he started to run out after us, but his friend grabbed
- him and pulled him back in.
-
- That was the end of the incident, but I've been thinking a lot about
- it ever since. Naturally, I think of all sorts of things I wish I'd
- been clever enough to say or do at the time. And for the first time
- it struck home that public crossdressing is actually dangerous; I
- mean, intellectually I know that a guy in a dress is more likely to
- be a target of hostility, but to actually experience it personally is
- something else. I have no doubt that if I'd met them alone on a dark
- street, instead of a crowded well-lit restaurant, they would have
- earnestly tried to beat me up. I'm angry that immature bigoted jerks
- like that think they can hassle and punch a complete stranger who's
- done them no harm. I'm also certain that the incident will not
- change my habits; to quit crossdressing would be to grant victory to
- those hateful idiots. I'm also uncertain what to do in future
- similar situations: there are conflicting priorities. In terms of
- personal safety, it is probably best to try to ignore such bigots and
- get out of the situation quickly. In terms of the greater social
- good, one could argue that it's best to calmly confront them as my
- girlfriend did, asking why they are bothered and demonstrating that
- just because one is nonstandard doesn't mean one is not a real
- human being. This of course increases one's chances of getting
- punched in the face, or worse.
-
- I'd be quite interested to hear about any similar incidents other
- folks have had, and thoughts on methods of dealing with the
- situation.
-
- (On a tangent, I should mention that of course not all skinheads
- are obnoxious bigots. Indeed, when I first saw this pair but before
- I realized what they were saying, it didn't occur to me that they
- would act that way, since we'd just spent hours dancing with a
- wide variety of friendly folks, many of whom looked similar to
- these guys.)
-
- (Oh, another tangent: by coincidence, the rave was at the Acropolis
- club which has a unisex bathroom; that provided some interesting
- pseudotransgenderish experience :-)
-
- Russ
-