NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #31/NN_1992_31.iso/spool/rec/humor/36959

Text File | 1992-12-22 | 12.2 KB | 365 lines

Newsgroups: rec.humor
Path: sparky!uunet!timbuk.cray.com!hemlock.cray.com!jwg
From: [e-mail] (John Gregory)
Subject: Re: interesting christian-surname combinations
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Originator: jwg@willow42
Lines: 351
Sender: jwg@willow42 (John Gregory)
Nntp-Posting-Host: willow42
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
References: <cbaker.724462855@tasman> <[e-mail]>
Date: 22 Dec 92 12:36:37 CST


In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Guy Hyde) writes:
> Christopher Paul Baker ([e-mail]) wrote:
>
> : I am interested in collecting interesting christian name - surname
> : combinations,
> : eg:
> : Theresa Green
>
> : Does anyone have a list?
>
> When my brother and hsi wife were expecting their first child,
> they went through a book of 40,000 names for babies, looking
> for names to or not-to name a kid with our last name ( HYDE ).
>
> Here are a few that I remember ( kid is now 25 )
>
> Tanya Hyde
>
> Ophelia ...
> Raw ...
> Sidonia ...
> Phormalda ...
>
> Please add any that come to mind -- this is still one of
> our familie's favorite topics for laughs and memories at
> reunions, etc.

This is practically an FAQ.  Here is my current list of (mostly)
ficticious names, from a variety of sources.  I use it as part
of my `fortunes` file.  Additions would be welcome, though I have
to comment that I tend to avoid anything worse than PG rated humor
in these, and for obscure reasons I avoid any with middle initials.
Clearly there are some mighty good ones not on this list, that would
not be appropriate to my uses.

Today's person of special interest:
Abbott, Peter - Author of children's books
Absent, Marcus - Truant officer
Adrum, Titus - Souse
Adore, Matt - Bullfighter
Ago, Wade - High school football coach
Anyone, Dennis - Racquet club manager
Anything, Aldo - Italian terrorist hostage
Avore, Herb - Veterinarian
Awfulitch, Ivan - Russian dermatologist
Ayk, Tommy - Cook at local diner
Ayp, Harry - Bully at local beach
Backyet, Izzy - Delivery boy
Ball, Crystal - Fortune teller
Banks, Robin - World's richest woman
Bearer, Paul - Undertaker
Beck, Helen - World traveler
Bellum, Andy - Civil War expert
Bellum, Sarah - Brain surgeon
Birthday, Abbie - 100-year old woman
Blacksheep, Barbara - Kindergarten teacher
Blood, Drew - Fencing champion
Boddeed, Abel - Hired hand at the ranch
Bone, Nora - Dog catcher
Bote, Rhoda - Fishing guide
Boyle, Lance - Dermatologist's assistant
Branch, Olive - Peace negotiator
Brooke, Donny - Boxing manager
Buddyhome, Eddie - Burglar
Bugger, Dee - Programmer
Buggy, Orson - Sulky racer
Bull, Gordy - Assistant to Matt Adore
Bunkport, Kenny - Presidential aide
Burr, Tim - Lumberjack
Bush, Rose - Gardening expert
Buv, Bertha - Train conductor
Cadabra, Abby - Prestidigitator
Cake, Johnny - Morning cook at local cafe
Canusee, Jose - Singer at baseball games
Carr, Lisa - Rental agency clerk
Case, Justin - Boy Scout leader; always prepared
Cash, Oliver - Mugger
Cazam, Ali - Magician
Cheap, Hiram - Owner of sweat shop
Cillin, Penny - Pharmacist
Clear, Loudon - Ham radio operator
Cloth, Terry - Dries dishes at the local diner
Coe, Chris - Fry cook at the local diner
Cross, Chris - Owner of brassiere factory
Cue, Barbie - Outdoor chef
Cutt, Buzz - Barber
Daye, Avery - Newpaper carrier
Daye, Rudy - Guy who misplaced his winning lottery ticket
Dayhouse, Bill - Construction contractor
Deggs, Hammond - Short order cook
DeReddy, Everett - Fastest gun in the west
DerNess, Will - Dutch explorer
DeStinction, Marco - Winner of purple heart
DeStruction, Eva - Prophet of doom
DeTowel, Dawson - Boxing cornerman
Diamond, Hope - Heiress
Didd, Katie - Entomologist
Dinner, Buffy - Restauranteur
DiUrth, Enzo - Italian explorer
Diver, Cliff - Swimming instructor
Doitt, Kenny - Evel Knievel's protege
Downe, Neil - Pope's assistant
Downe, Sid - Heckler at comedy club
Drink, Spike - Frequent party thrower
Druff, Dan - Hairdresser
Dupp, Stan - Popular comedian
Dust, Angel - Pharmacist
Dwop, Wayne - Weather forecaster
Dwyer, Barb - Fencing business owner
Eecha, Lionel - Big game hunter
Egan, Mitch - Auto worker
Eggo, Sandy - World famous surfer
Ender, Bart - Whaddaya think his job is?
Enreel, Rod - Fisherman
Enrod, Curt - Interior decorator
Errup, Phil - Gas station attendant
Erginity, Irv - Gynecologist
Etunion, Sophie - Russian expert
Finnish, Matt - Photographer
Flay, Sue - Chef at french restaurant
Flower, May - Pilgrim settler
Fly, May - Entomologist
Ford, Stan - College president
Fort, Frank - Governor of Kentucky
Francisco, Sam - Heart surgeon
Frapples, Bob - Cub Scout Master
Frayed, Emma - President of Panphobiacs' Club
Free, Scott - Defendant who was found innocent on a technicality
Fright, Mike - Radio personality
Frudy, Judy - Bubblegum magnate
Fuel, Jeff - Airline mechanic
Function, Mel - Space shuttle astronaut
Funt, Ellie - Circus fat lady
Furst, Hugo - Cliff diver
Fusion, Ken - Maker of highway detour signs
Fyar, Forrest - Park ranger
Garious, Greg - Real friendly guy
Gation, Abner - Nonviolent protester
Gay, Ben - Weightlifting instructor
Genius, Homer - Opponent of racial integration
Gettup, Willie - Prize fighter
Gold, June - Trader at commodities futures market
Goodman, Anita - Secretary of Lonely Hearts Club
Goodness, Omar - Person whose house burned down
Graves, Doug - Cemetary groundskeeper
Grease, Axel - Auto mechanic
Green, Theresa - Landscapist
Gunn, Tommy - Prohibition-era gangster
Haste, Marion - Family counselor
Hayve, Bea - Prison warden
Hedden, Buster - Schoolyard bully
Heights, Alfredo - Phobia expert
Hinges, Rusty - Odd jobs repairman
Hitt, Kent - Shortstop on local baseball team
Ho, Heidi - Jazz singer
Home, Gwen - Layoff victim
Hopper, Claude - Shoe repairman
Humm, Carl - Auto mechanic
Hoe, Ida - Potato farmer
Hoelway, Randy - Winner of the Marathon
Hyde, Jacqueline - Woman with split personality
Hyde, Tanya - Leather worker
Ifornia, Cal - Gold prospector
Ination, Madge - Guide at Disney World
Ingleaves, Russell - Horticulturist
Ington, Lex - General in the Revolutionary War
Irons, Brandon - Leader of Old West cattle drive
Isiana, Lou - Mardi Gras participant
Itch, Jacques - Dermatologist
Itis, Arthur - Retired football player
Izmoor, Les - Leader of anti-growth movement
Jafeedme, Haywood - Street person
Jet, Bud - State treasurer
Jumpnalake, Olga - Olympic track star
Kaseltzer, Al - Pharmacist
Kateer, Amos - Annette Funicello's partner
Kerr, Joe - Nightclub comic
Kidd, Rich - Pirate's son
King, Ray - Groundskeeper
Kosis, Cy - Mental health specialist
Koykie, Albie - Friend of Bugs Bunny
Kuhh, Hannah - Prime Minister of Israel
Kupp, Stanley - Hockey player
Labor, Manuel - Odd jobs man
Larts, Marsha - Kung Fu expert
Lastic, Lucy - President of Fruit of the Loom
Layt, Stew - President of Procrastinators' Club
Leaking, Rufus - Construction contractor
Leave, Freida - Ex-hostage
Legg, Peg - Pirate's wife
Letter, Imelda - Postal worker
Living, Ernie - Clerk at unemployment office
Lott, Mona - Actress in X-rated movies
Love, Amanda - President of Lonely Hearts Club
Lowe, Sal - Victim of hepatitis epidemic
Lumbus, Cole - Governor of Ohio
Luya, Ollie - Member of church choir
Lydoun, Anita - Daycare provider
Linyard, Scott - Police detective
Livard, Lily - Saloon keeper in Old West
Maas, Pete - Landscaper
Mann, Candy - Sammy Davis's backup singer
Manoid, Hugh - Expert in robotics
Mastree, Chris - Lumberjack
Maykett, Willie - Buck Rogers's first sidekick
Meat, Stu - Butcher
Mee, Barton - World's clumsiest man
Mintz, Pepper - Candy store owner
Money, Alma - Victim of con artist
Money, Grant - Treasurer for National Science Foundation
Moneylast, Wilma - Retiree
Monk, Chip - Thelonius's brother, a nutty guy
Muhway, Adam - Ambulance driver
Nalift, Juan - Hitchhiker
Napolis, Anne - First female graduate of West Point
Nasium, Jim - Body building instructor
Needzit, Casey - Boy Scout leader; always prepared
Nett, Clara - Member of symphony orchestra
Newhouse, Ivana - Love 'em and leave 'em artist
Nicks, Hugh - Computer expert
Nightshade, Dudley - Horticulture expert
Noe, Ida - Game show hostess
Nutt, Hazel - Baker of world's best fruitcakes
O'Dontal, Perry - Dental surgeon
O'Furniture, Patty - Owner of garden shop
O'Pectate, Kay - Fry cook at diner
O'Plant, Al - Miracle healer
O'Plasty, Angie - Heart surgeon
O'Teen, Nick - Tobacco magnate
O'Wheat, Kareem - Dietician for basketball team
Oley, Ravi - Proprietor of Indian/Italian restaurant
On, Carrie - President of sorority chapter
Ono, Kim - Yoko's sister, runs geisha house
Onya, Liz - Proprietor of Italian restaurant
Onhome, Ron - Constable
Order, Lauren - Police chief
Owt, Luke - Man who crossed the path of a black cat
Ozo, Abe - Founder of a clown college
Palms, Reid - Fortuneteller
Pants, Marty - Joke writer
Panzee, Jim - Zookeeper
Pease, Warren - Novelist
Pee, Chris - Manager at Kentucky Fried Chicken
Perman, Sue - Trapeze acrobat
Period, Grace - Credit clerk
Perz, Pam - Nurse in maternity ward
Pipe, Dwayne - Plumber
Pladd, Glen - Men's tailor
Play, Wanda - Tennis instructor
Poe, Al - Pet store assistant
Pointment, Anna - Receptionist in a medical office
Pole, Tad - Biologist
Ports, Maury - TV anchorman
Potts, Clay - Manager of garden store
Power, Will - New director of drug abuse center
Punuval, Theophilus - Author of this list
Rainbows, Jason - President of Optimists Club
Raker, Leif - Groundskeeper
Redd, Soren - Dermatologist
Reply, Kurt - Person at complaints department
Rescue, Darin - Indiana Jones's sidekick
Rexia, Anna - Weight loss center manager
Rida, Flo - Tourist
Rigg, Jerry - Diana's brother, politician
Roast, Chuck - Butcher
Rochip, Mike - Electronics repairman
Ruin, Rhoda - Drug dealer
Sadness, Ophelia - Psychic
Scanties, Sawyer - Peeping Tom
Scope, Stefi - Registered nurse
Sember, Dee - Snowshoe vendor
Sharalike, Sharon - Kindergarten teacher
Shaving, Nick - Barber
Shaw, Rick - Travel agent
Shoelaces, Tyrone - Kindergarten teacher
Shortstop, Aaron - Baseball scorekeeper
Showers, April - Gardening expert
Shunary, Dick - Etymologist
Sladder, Jacob - Finger shadow expert
Slaw, Murphy - Unlucky television news anchor
Slift, Fay - Dermatologist
Socks, Susan - Clothing store clerk
Soloud, Danielle - Librarian
Someone, Sue - Lawyer
Soote, Serge - Tailor
Sota, Minnie - Refrigerator saleswoman
Sox, Bobbie - Cheerleader
Splicer, Gene - Research biologist
Sprout, Russell - Vegetable farmer
Square, Harold - Newspaper publisher
Steam, Hedda - Locomotive engineer
Stroika, Perry - Sovietologist
Stuck, Doris - Carpenter
Sunn, Jack - Governor of Mississippi
Syrup, Mabel - Vermont forester
System, Buddy - Boy Scout camp counselor
Tanium, Ty - Aerospace engineer
Tant, Millie - Political activist
Tard, Leah - Dance instructor
Tateers, Boris - Russian Lit professor
Tater, Dick - Czar of Idaho
Tatorial, Gus - Chef
Tee, Gil - Prisoner
Tent, Pat - Inventor
Ticket, Emile - Actor's agent
Timm, Vic - Drug addict
Temoni, Tess - Attorney
Tiquity, Ann - Archaeologist
Ting, Sam - Counterfeiter
Tire, Vlad - Glass recycling contractor
Tistic, Art - Founder of design school
Titian, Polly - Part time legislator/painter
Toad, Rex - Truck driver for local garage
Tolaugh, Olive - Ed Wynn's sister
Tomes, Dusty - Librarian
Tranny, Emmanuel - Auto mechanic
Trunks, Jim - Prize fighter
Tuckett, Nan - Runs a fishing boat
Tucky, Ken - Colonel
Tudicide, Eileen - Poster girl for Jerry's kids
Tumalu, Skip - Kindergarten teacher
Tupp, Mark - Newspaper editor
Twishes, Bess - Florist
Uh, George - Plantation owner
Umm, Barry - Nuclear medicine expert
Ving, Lee - Train conductor
Voo, Rhonda - Travel consultant
Voyant, Claire - Poker champion
Waggin, Chuck - Ranch hand
Wanna, Mary - Pharmacist
Warm, Luke - Plumber
Warnercracker, Polly - Pet store owner
Waye, Aldie - High school cheerleader
Wearer, Helmut - Infantryman
Wells, Earl - Texas wildcatter
Wilco, Roger - Air Force colonel
Witt, Ike - Unemployment counselor
Wonderland, Alison - Children's author
Wont, Betty - Willie Maykett's girlfriend
Wood, Holly - Young starlet
Word, Sadie - NASA launch coordinator
Work, Annette - Television executive
Yerskool, Trudy - Beach Boys' biggest fan
Yuary, Jan - Skiing instructor
Yupp, Buddy - World's friendliest guy
Zark, Noah - Ship builder
Zerr, Lou - Jockey who came in last
Zinn, Phyllis - Neighborhood gossip
Zona, Ari - Greek sand merchant
Zup, Hans - German bank robber