NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #31/NN_1992_31.iso/spool/rec/humor/36949

Text File | 1992-12-22 | 7.5 KB | 214 lines

Newsgroups: rec.humor
Path: sparky!uunet!paladin.american.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!torn!watserv2.uwaterloo.ca!mach1!brez8986
From: [e-mail] (James Brezina u)
Subject: Do it!
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Summary: Hilarious!
Organization: Wilfrid Laurier University
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 16:33:18 GMT
Lines: 202

THE COMPLETE DO IT LIST...

Accountants do it for profit.
Actors do it in the limelight.
Actors do it on camera.
Acupuncturists do it with a small prick.
Algebraists do it in groups.
Algorithmic analysts do it with a combinatorial explosion.
AM Disc Jockeys do it with Modulated Amplitude.
Anarchists do it revoltingly.
Anesthetists do it painlessly.
Arlo Guthrie does it on his Motorcycle.
Armadilloes do it avec l'amour (Fr., "despite their armour").
Astronomers do it all night long.
Astronomers do it in the dark.
AT&T does it in Long Lines.
Australians do it down under.
Auto mechanics do it under hoods, with oil and grease.
Bakers do it for the dough.
Ballet dancers do it on tip-toe.
Banana pickers do it in bunches.
Bankers do it for money, but there is a penalty for early
withdrawal. Bankers do it with interest.
Barbers do it with Bryll Cream.
Beethoven was the first to do it with a full orchestra.
Bicyclists do it with a cadence.
Bicyclists do it with chains.
Bookkeepers do it for the record.
Bowlers do it in the alley.
Bowlers do it with balls.
Bridge players do it with a partner.
Bridge players do it with finesse.
Bus drivers do it in transit.
Butchers do it in the raw.
Carpenters do it indoors.
Carpenters do it tongue-in-groove.
Catholics do it A LOT!
Chess players do it in their minds.
Cluster analysts do it in groups.
Cockroaches have done it for millions of years, without apparent
ill-effects. Collectors do it in sets.
Combinatorialists do it a countable number of times, sadly.
Combinatorialists do it discreetly.
Comedians do it for laughs.
Computer programmers do it logically.
Computer scientists do it by bit.
Conductors do it rhythmically.
Confectioners do it sweetly.
Construction workers do it higher.
Cows do it in leather.
Cryptographers do it secretly.
Dancers do it to music.
Dark horses do it come-from-behind.
Dentists do it painlessly (HA!)
Diamond cutters do it harder.
Divers do it deeper.
Doctors do it with patience.
Don't do it with a banker.  Most of them are tellers.
Donuts do it with cream or jelly.
Drummers do it to the beat.
Drummers do it with rhythm.
Economists do it with inflation.
Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.
Electrical Engineers do it with more frequency
Electricians do it in their shorts.
Engineers do it with a first order approximation.
Engineers do it with precision.
Entrepreneurs do it with creativity and originality
Executives do it in three piece suits.
FM Disc Jockeys do it with high fidelity.
Faith healers do it with whatever they can lay their hands on (?)
Farmers do it in the dirt.
First fiddles do it violently.
Fluid Mechanics do it smoothly.
Flyers do it on top, upside down, or rolling.
Fortran programmers do it with double precision.
Fortran programmers do it. Really!
Frank Sinatra does it his way.
Gardeners do it in their beds.
Gee, I wonder how Oral Roberts does it?
Geologists do it eruptively, with a glow, and always smoke
afterwards. Golfers do it with their putters.
Golfers have it down to a tee.
Graduates do it by degrees.
Group theorists do it either way.
Ham radio operators do it with higher frequency.
Hang-Gliders do it in the air.
Hardware buffs do it in nanoseconds.
Heinz does it with great relish.
Historians did it.
Joggers do it on the run.
Jugglers do it until they drop.
Jugglers do it with more balls.
Lawyers do it in front of the Judge and Jury.
Lawyers do it in their briefs.
Librarians do it by the book.
Librarians do it silently.
Lifeguards do it on the beach.
Linguists do it with their tongues.
Lions do it with pride.
Logicians do it consistently and completely.
Mathmaticians do it an uncountable number of times.
Milkmen do it in the morning.
Miners do it with a bang.
Ministers do it vicariously.
Monopoly players do it for hours.
Morticians do it gravely.
Mountain Climbers do it on the rocks.
Musicians do it with rhythm.
Nobel laureates do it in the bank.
Nurses do it with patience.
Operators mount anything and everything.
Orthodontists do it with braces.
Particle physicists do it energetically.
Patients do it feverishly.
Pheasants do it under glass.
Photographers do it in a flash.
Physicist do it a quantum at a time.
Physicists do it ultra-relativistically.
Physicists do it with high energy particles.
Pilots do it to get high.
Plumbers do it with snakes and helpers.
Podiatrists do it with feet.
Poker players do it with their own hand.
Politicians do it to make the headlines.
Polymer Chemists do it in chains.
Postmen do it at the front entrance.
Priests do it heavenly.
Prince Charles and Lady Di do it royally.
Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
Procrastinators do it when they get around to it.
Professors might forget to do it.
Programmers do it with bugs.
Programs do it in loops.
Psychiatrists do it like crazy.
Psychologists would like to do it with 95% confidence.
Quantum Mechanics do it with uncertainty.
Real estate brokers do it on the ground.
Receptionists do it in the vestibule.
Reporters do it for the sensation it causes.
Researchers do it with control.
Robots do it mechanically.
Roofers are always on the top.
Roosters do it coquettishly.
Rugby players do it with leather balls.
Sailors do it ad nauseam.
Schematologists do it haltingly.
Scientists do it experimentally.
Secretaries do it with no mistakes.
Sheep do it when led astray.
Shubert didn't finish it.
Skunks do it instinctively.
Skydivers go down faster.
Snakes do it in the grass.
Soccer players do it for kicks.
Soldiers do it standing erect.
Sopranos do it in unison.
Sparrows do it for a lark (hearsay).
Spies do it under cover.
Statisticians do it with a little deviance.
Statisticians probably do it.
Steel workers do it hotter.
Stock brokers do it on the margin.
Stragglers do it in the rear.
Superman does it faster than a speeding bullet.
Surfers do it standing up.
Surgeons do it incisively.
Swimmers do it in the water.
Swimmers do it with strokes.
Tchaikovsky did it pathetically.
Teachers do it with class.
Teddy Roosevelt did it softly, but with a big stick.
Tennis players do it in sets.
Tennis players do it with a racket.
The IRS does it to EVERYBODY.
The Mets did it in 69.
The folks at Smith-Barney do it "the old-fashioned way".
Topologists do it on rubber sheets.
Topologists do it openly.
Truants do it absently.
Typesetters do it between periods
Typists do it with their fingers.
Ushers do it in the dark.
Violinists do it with long strokes.
Wagner did it for hours.
Waiters and waitresses do it for tips.
Welders do it with hot rods.
Well diggers do it in a hole.
Yankees do it frugally.
Yellow Pages do it with Walking Fingers.
Zippermakers do it on the fly.

Hope ya like 'em...
--
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|                              |                                            |
|  Jim Brezina                 |               Gold's Law:                  |
|  Yr 1 HCCE                   |                                            |
|  Wilfrid Laurier University  |       If the shoe fits...It's ugly.        |
|  [e-mail]       |                                            |
|                              |                                            |
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