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- Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU
- Path: sparky!uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!wupost!psuvax1!psuvm!auvm!MHWPA.ATT.COM!KTW
- Original-From: Ken Wolman <mhwpa!ktw>
- X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11]
- Message-ID: <WORDS-L%92122416495474@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU>
- Newsgroups: bit.listserv.words-l
- Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 16:50:00 EST
- Sender: English Language Discussion Group <WORDS-L@uga.cc.uga.edu>
- From: ktw@MHWPA.ATT.COM
- Subject: Re: Deep beliefs
- In-Reply-To: <no.id>; from "Judith E. Schrier" at Dec 24, 92 3:40 pm
- Lines: 39
-
- > There are good-natured catcalls, and there are mean-spirited
- > catcalls, and the good-natured ones (generally) come from
- > good-natured people, and the mean-spirited ones from mean-
- > spirited people; the targets are *much* less relevant. The
- > nasty ones (as a rule) involve "dirty words", outright
- > insults, nasty suggestions, or even physical harassment.
- >
- > An unattractive woman is as likely as an attractive one to
- > be the target of mean-spirited harassment.
-
- The point is in the latter comment, and it goes back to a variation of
- something we all learned from our parents: Don't talk to strangers.
- Admittedly, if we didn't talk to strangers of the opposite sex once in
- awhile, the human race would have died out long ago; but I think
- there's a discernible separation between or among flattering comments,
- passes, and outright nasty comments. Passes stand directly in the
- middle. They can be highly flattering if the signals are there that
- the attentions might be welcomed; or they can be impersonal and
- demonstrate a hostility toward the person of the opposite sex, rather
- than any profound attraction.
-
- Every woman I have ever known who has had occasion to walk anywhere in
- the garment district of New York City, irrespective of age or what she
- might have looked like, has told me that to do so is to be barraged by
- guys--usually the men who unload trucks or push dress racks--making
- appalling lip-and-tongue-smacking noises that make them sound like a
- school of guppies in heat. Often, the sounds are accompanied by
- oh-so-subtle body-language such as pointing at one's crotch. _None_
- of the women who told me about this sort of crap ever suggested that
- the attentions of these men were even mildly flattering. How Not To
- Get A Date With An Angel....
-
- Okay, in this case, you might say this a class or even racial thing,
- and that I'm being a racist because the perpetrators of this sort of
- "flattery" are primarily Hispanic men. But their targets can also be
- Hispanic women as well as women of any other race. The fact remains
- that the comments are blanket, random, crude, and therefore unwelcome.
-
- Ken
-