NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #31/NN_1992_31.iso/spool/alt/quotatio/455

Text File | 1992-12-30 | 5.6 KB | 175 lines

Newsgroups: alt.quotations
Path: sparky!uunet!spool.mu.edu!umn.edu!news
From: [e-mail] (Rao Akella)
Subject: Re: Murphy's Laws and other laws
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
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Organization: Colon Cancer Control Study, University of Minnesota, Minneapolis
References: <kencham.725224236@centi> <[e-mail]> <kencham.725682787@atto>
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 21:04:41 GMT
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In article <kencham.725682787@atto>, [e-mail] (Deepak Kenchammana-Hosekote) writes:
>
> Here goes _Murphy's Laws on Combat_...
> [20 laws included at the end of this article]

Here goes 42 more...

21. Friendly fire isn't.

22. If the platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

23. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down,
    never stay awake when you can sleep.

24. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with
    a map and a compass.

25. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

26. A grenade with a seven second fuse will always burn down
    in four seconds.

27. Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just regrouping for a
    counter-attack.

28. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air-strike.

29. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.

30. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when
    the General is watching.

31. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

32. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.

33. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.

34. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss.  Whenever you
    are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.

35. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away
    to be repaired.

36. Field experience is something you don't get until just after
    you need it.

37. Interchangeable parts aren't.

38. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

39. There is no such thing as military 'intelligence'.

40. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
    in boot camp.

41. The one item you need is always in short supply.

42. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.

43. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the
    weapon's operator.

44. Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.

45. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down,
    the most important ones are always illegible.

46. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.

47. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what
    they want, but they know for certain what they DON'T want.

48. To steal information from a person is called plagarism.  To steal
    information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.

49. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.

50. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that
    billet is filled by someone else.

51. When you have sufficient supplies and ammo, the emeny takes 2 weeks to
    attack.  When you are low on supplies and ammo, the enemy decides to
    attack that night.

52. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the
    Congressional Medal Of Honor.

53. A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were you smart enough to think
    of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

54. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an
    unsecure channel.

55. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and
    grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always
    lands at your feet.

56. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.

57. Never tell the platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

58. The seriousness of a wound received in a fire-fight is inversely
    proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

59. Walking point = sniper bait.

60. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where got tired of marching
    that day.

61. If only one solution can be found for a field problem,
    then it is usually a stupid solution.

62. Murphy was a grunt.


> 1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
>
> 2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
>
> 3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
>
> 4. There is always a way.
>
> 5. The easy way is always mined.
>
> 6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
>
> 7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
>
> 8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
>    a. when you're ready for them.
>    b. when you're not ready for them.
>
> 9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
>
> 10. If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.
>
> 11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
>
> 12. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
>
> 13. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
>
> 14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
>
> 15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
>
> 16. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able
>     to get out.
>
> 17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
>
> 18. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
>
> 19. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
>
> 20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.