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- Newsgroups: alt.pagan
- Path: sparky!uunet!cs.utexas.edu!natinst.com!radian!markbr
- From: markbr%radian@natinst.com (markbr)
- Subject: Re: a little mindless bitching
- Sender: usenet@radian.uucp (Usenet login for mail routing)
- Message-ID: <1992Dec31.185800.3712@radian.uucp>
- Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 18:58:00 GMT
- References: <2B42511B.1946@news.service.uci.edu>
- Nntp-Posting-Host: zippy.radian.com
- Organization: n.o.y.b
- Lines: 65
-
- In article <2B42511B.1946@news.service.uci.edu> cortese@skid.ps.uci.edu (Janis Maria Cortese) writes:
- >Or a little mindless steam-venting, whichever you prefer.
-
- Welllll, you can sleep on a steam vent... (B-^}
- <munch>
- >5) I must have heard "nigger" and "faggot" more times out there in two
- >weeks than I have the whole year previous out here. Not that the west
- >coast is some paragon of racial tolerance; it sure as hell ain't that.
- >But, Jesus, that is crazy!
- >
- >I will NEVER LIVE BACK THERE. FUCKING NEVER. I've only just begun
- >telling myself that if people get on my nerves, I am under no obligation
- >to hang around them. My ex-boyfriend was one of those; I hung around
- >him because I felt like I should, and I had no right to disapprove of
- >him.
- >
- >I do now. I can't stand most people around where I used to live back
- >east, and I will never again take up residence there. I have no idea
-
- Aw, c'mon, Janice. The whole East coast ain't *all* that way ; not even
- all of Philly is that way - of course, I always saw
- South Philly as that way (I used to worry about visiting my sister,
- who used to live down there, with my long hair in the late 60's/early
- 70's). Which is why I never even considered living down there.
-
- >what is going to happen when I get married, and that friend expects to
- >be the maid of honor at my wedding and she doesn't get chosen. Not only
- >do I not know if I'm going to HAVE a maid of honor, if I pick one, it's
- >going to be Sally, my massively flaming-liberal amiga-hermana, as we
- >call each other.
- >
- We had our common-law ceremony at Worldcon in 88; we'd written our own
- words, and my wife's son had a part in it. just the three of us, and
- no tossed salad, er, bouquet. (Later that year, we went down to the
- county courthouse; down here in Texas, they have this weird "Certificate
- of Informal Marriage" - you go to the courthouse, say you want one,
- show id, & pay your $25.)
-
- >Ah, well. I don't want to make it seem like I hated my whole time
- >there. It's always nice to see family, especially my uncle and cousins,
- >and I guess friends are okay, even though were I to meet them today, I
- >wouldn't be friends with them. Would that my family could come out
- >HERE!
- >
- Your *real* family is not the family that chance stuck you with, but
- the folks *you* CHOOSE. Sounds like *you've* appointed Sally your
- "official sister". We've appointed one friend our boy's "official
- uncle", and a couple of women his official aunts. These are the
- people we care for, who mean something to us, for who & what they
- are. The biggest group of my "real family" is from fandom. When
- my mom dies late this spring, it wasn't any "trad. family" who helped
- (hell, *every-bloody-thing* waited for me to get to Philly); it was
- my chosen-family who helped me get there (and a few days later, get
- my wife & kid there); it was both of my ex's who helped me get stuff
- together & run stuff, and friends who helped it all work. *That's*
- my family.
-
- >Blessings,
- >Janis
- >
- and to you.
-
- mark
-
-
-