NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #31/NN_1992_31.iso/spool/alt/non/sequitur/878

Internet Message Format | 1992-12-31 | 1.5 KB

Xref: sparky alt.non.sequitur:878 talk.bizarre:43238
Newsgroups: alt.non.sequitur,talk.bizarre
Path: sparky!uunet!usc!wupost!csus.edu!netcom.com!gooley
From: [e-mail] (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: toxicity hymnal burrows into hobbledehoy, a most delightful thing
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Followup-To: alt.fan.gooley
Organization: Cunning Disguises, Ltd.
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 16:09:18 GMT
Lines: 19

    Liquid butterflies infest my refrigerator.  They flutter out and
drip to the kitchen floor whenever I reach in to get a beer or an extra
woman.  I've tried mink oil, toluene, magic spells, yak cheese, caraway
seeds, grilled plethoras, and the Oxford English Dictionary, but the smell
won't leave.  It hangs about, guzzling my Madeira, sitting on my footstool
with its feet on my armchair, and inviting such rowdy friends as the
Mohorovicic discontinuity, masochistic bottom quarks, the Society for
Industrial and Applied Masturbation, a small blob of reddish mud, my
superego, Lawrence Eagleburger (available in limited markets because most
types of eagles are still considered endangered), and Catalan.
    I decided to take a vacation.  Several of my colleagues had a few
weeks of vacation coming, so I stole a total of two months from them,
piled into my car despite pain from my piles, and drove off on a whirlwind
tour of the U. S.  I'm proud of my car: mighty three-cylinder engine,
vomit-colored paint, 0-100 kph in 15.9 seconds, inflatable woman permanently
installed in the front seat,

Mark., out of ideas.
[e-mail]