NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #31/NN_1992_31.iso/spool/alt/flame/17297

Text File | 1992-12-22 | 1.9 KB | 54 lines

Newsgroups: alt.flame
Path: sparky!uunet!spool.mu.edu!uwm.edu!cs.utexas.edu!convex!news.utdallas.edu!corpgate!brtph560!nrtpa038!cadnews
From: Sparky
Subject: Pavlov's Dog = Michele
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Summary: Pavlov's Dog = Michele
Keywords: Drool, Bell, Wop
Sender: [e-mail] (netnews posting host)
Organization: None
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 15:13:32 GMT
Lines: 41

Michele, we here at amalgamated labs have been studying
your behavior of late, and you appear to have achieved
a state of predictability.

Of note, you will respond to any post directed at you
or about you, or even indirectly about spumoni, vermicelli,
calzone or any other dago dish ending in "i" or "e" (and don't
they all!).  In short, you are just like Pavlov's dog --
a simple stimulus causes a predictable response.

Your actions can be replicated by the following scenario:

Post by alt.flame reader mentioning macaroni.
Post by you bashing Britons.
Post by alt.flame reader regarding sex with various female
   members of your family.
Post by you bashing Britons, and defending your mother.
Post by alt.flame reader regarding your receiving of anal
  and giving of oral homosexual pleasure.
Post by you bashing Britons, and defending your mother, and
  your heterosexuality (or lesbianism).
Post by alt.flame reader concerning your mishandling of the
  English language and general lack of reading comprehension.
Post by you bashing Britons, and defending your mother, and
  your heterosexuality, and admitting your language ineptitude.
Post by you wondering where the women are.
Post by you.
Post by you.
Post by you.
[At this point, those of normal intelligence have dropped
the thread.]

And so, Michele, it is with little prestige and of no
surprise that we award you (drum-roll please) "THE
FLAMING DOG."

And I'm sure you'll continue to deserve the honor.

--Sparky