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  1. Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
  2. Path: sparky!uunet!psinntp!newstand.syr.edu!rsholmes
  3. From: rsholmes@rodan.syr.EDU (Rich Holmes)
  4. Subject: Re: Favorite Artist Summary
  5. Message-ID: <RSHOLMES.92Dec23170213@rodan.syr.EDU>
  6. In-reply-to: lim@addvax.llnl.gov's message of 22 Dec 92 19:07:00 GMT
  7. Organization: Syracuse University
  8. References: <22DEC199211072668@addvax.llnl.gov>
  9. Date: Wed, 23 Dec 92 17:17:33 EST
  10. Lines: 88
  11.  
  12.  
  13. Hello, class. In today's Archaeology of Late 20th Century Unix
  14. lecture, we will be examining a sig typical of the period just prior
  15. to the Great Bandwidth Collapse of 1993. Here it is:
  16.  
  17. In article <22DEC199211072668@addvax.llnl.gov> lim@addvax.llnl.gov (Doug Lim) writes:
  18.  
  19. >| | | |     +----------------------------------------+
  20. >| | | |     |      Doug Lim - DougLim@llnl.gov       |
  21. >| | | |__   | Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory |
  22. >| | |___/   |        Computer Scientist - ASD        |
  23. >\ \____/    |    (510) 423-6019 FAX: (510)423-2419   |
  24. > \____/     +----------------------------------------+
  25.  
  26. A couple of features to note. One is the set of four items in the last
  27. line of the box:
  28.  
  29.     (510)         Probably indicating that this sig was purchased at a
  30.                   five & dime store.
  31.     423-6019      Unknown, perhaps a locker combination.
  32.     FAX:          A reference, probably, to Fascimile, a late-20th
  33.                   century deity who was evidently hard of hearing,
  34.                   hence the shouting.
  35.     (510)423-2419 Probably the access code for Mr Lim's incarnation of
  36.                   FAX:, placed here to invite other worshippers on the
  37.                   net to send /etc/termcap files and Rush FAQs as
  38.                   offerings.
  39.  
  40. Next, the line above -- what does ASD mean? Well, consulting a
  41. surviving edition of the jargon file from that period, we find that
  42. ASD stands for "Asinine SIG Department."
  43.  
  44. Any questions at this point? Yes? Right, I was just getting to that.
  45. The object on the left has tentatively been identified as a border
  46. fragment, i.e. all that remains of a border that once surrounded this
  47. sig. Here's a conjectural reconstruction:
  48.  
  49.          __________________________________________________
  50.         / ________________________________________________ \
  51.        / /  ____________________________________________  \ \
  52.        | | | +----------------------------------------+ | | |
  53.        | | | |      Doug Lim - DougLim@llnl.gov       | | | |
  54.        | | | | Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory | | | |
  55.        | | | |        Computer Scientist - ASD        | | | |
  56.        | | | |    (510) 423-6019 FAX: (510)423-2419   | | | |
  57.        | | | +----------------------------------------+ | | |
  58.        | | |____________________________________________| | |
  59.        \ \________________________________________________/ /
  60.         \__________________________________________________/
  61.  
  62. However, Prof. Dazlizcuz of Wanker Polytechnic Institute has objected
  63. that this fails to use the 80 columns which his research suggests was
  64. the minimum required width of a sig, and that in fact this example
  65. should have a *spiral* border:
  66.  
  67.           ______________________________________________________________
  68.          / ____________________________________________________________ \
  69.         / / __________________________________________________________ \ \
  70.        / / / ________________________________________________________ \ \ \
  71.       / / / / ______________________________________________________ \ \ \ \
  72.      / / / / / ____________________________________________________ \ \ \ \ \
  73.     / / / / / / __________________________________________________ \ \ \ \ \ \
  74.    / / / / / / / ________________________________________________ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
  75.   / / / / / / / /  ____________________________________________  \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
  76.   | | | | | | | | | +----------------------------------------+ | | | | | | | | |
  77.   | | | | | | | | | |      Doug Lim - DougLim@llnl.gov       | | | | | | | | | |
  78.   | | | | | | | | | | Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory | | | | | | | | | |
  79.   | | | | | | | | | |        Computer Scientist - ASD        | | | | | | | | | |
  80.   | | | | | | | | | |    (510) 423-6019 FAX: (510)423-2419   | | | | | | | | | |
  81.   | | | | | | | | | +----------------------------------------+ | | | | | | | | |
  82.   | | | | | | | | |__________________________________________________| | | | | |
  83.   \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \______________________________________________________/ / / / /
  84.    \ \ \ \ \ \ \________________________________________________________/ / / /
  85.     \ \ \ \ \ \__________________________________________________________/ / / /
  86.      \ \ \ \ \____________________________________________________________/ / /
  87.       \ \ \ \______________________________________________________________/ / /
  88.        \ \ \________________________________________________________________/ /
  89.         \ \__________________________________________________________________/ /
  90.          \____________________________________________________________________/
  91.  
  92. Magnificent, isn't it? Of course, that's how they used to build sigs
  93. all the time back then. Nowadays we couldn't afford it.
  94.  
  95. --
  96. */\/\/\/\/\*     !     *"I..." - N. Peart*   *    *      / *     O   INGSI!    *
  97. ?|        |?  O  ! O   ? "YourSigIsUgly" ?  *  *  ?     // ?  _ \  _   _/-_|\  ?
  98. *|        |*O    !O    *   - some frosh  *    *   * \\ //  * (_)/ (_) |      | ?
  99. ?|   O  O |?    O!    O? * *mcmxciibo* * ? WPI 77 ?  \X/   ?   PERTH-->*_-__/  ?
  100.