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- Newsgroups: alt.dads-rights
- Path: sparky!uunet!noc.near.net!mars.caps.maine.edu!bates!orlith!abacus.bates.edu!mperron
- From: mperron@abacus.bates.edu (Michael Perron)
- Subject: Re: Mother in-laws and Wives
- Organization: Bates College, Lewiston, Maine
- Date: Sun, 27 Dec 1992 08:37:58 GMT
- Message-ID: <1992Dec27.083758.6323@orlith.bates.edu>
- Sender: news@orlith.bates.edu (News Administrator)
- Nntp-Posting-Host: abacus.bates.edu
- Lines: 58
-
-
- I wrote in the past about the phenomenon of the subjects above
- fighting all the time and how prevalent the problem seemed to be.
- I did not go into the reasons they are fighting because I don't want to
- fight, period. Thanks to some readers I was able to cure the problems I
- had with some of their advise. Much of my solution also came from my own
- deep thoughts awareness and observations of others, especially those with
- the same problem. The following lines describe my perceptions and
- reasoning for the marital bliss that can arise when people in these type
- of rolls collide.
-
- In marriage or in any other relationship, two people have come
- together, to love each other and do for each other. Problems do exist
- between certain individuals but those should not interfere with the couple
- themselves. Whether it be mother, brother, or sister in-law, your partner
- cares deeply for these people who make up theier family. In my case my wife
- and mother were always arguing. Well I am not married to my mother so I
- have to deal with my wife, (My Partner). If this partner ..............
- truly cares for you they will do for you if not they won't. What it comes
- down to is the two of you the soc.couple, not the inlaw who is giving them
- the problem warranted or not. You require the love and support of your
- family whence you came from. If you do not then fine, in my case as in most
- I needed that support.
-
- I know there are inlaw problems galore and I for one am fed up
- with them. That is why I did not address "what are they fighting about?"
- I'm sorry, thanks for asking but I now know it isn't important. Due to
- these two fighting my kids hardly knew my side of the family and this dad
- admits being jealous angry, hurt etc etc...
-
- I believe that if your partner cares about you things can and will
- improve. I believe that if they hate, can't stand, or won't tolerate any
- one of your family members (in my case my wife couldn't stand my mother)
- than thats a lie. The one they cant stand is YOU! their partner. For
- if they cared about you they would do for you. They would do their best to
- make you, happy no one else. Therefore I realized in my case its not
- my mother the (Mother in Law) she can't stand it's me. I presented my case
- and vowed to end the relationship. To any of you out there with these inlaw
- problems I suggest that you consider yourself the enemy not Grandma or
- Grandpa, Uncle Eddy or aunt Suzie. If they care about you, you shouldn't
- be blue.
-
- My christmas was spent with both of our families, and everything
- went fine for us, but its a big family. Throughout the holidays I heard
- the echos of my problem ringing through my ears. Not just family but
- friends neighbors and co-workers as well. Thank you all for your input
- towards reaching my perspective and new awareness. I hope this might help
- others with INLAWS!
-
- There are some good psych people out there I knew it!
-
- Merry Xmas
- Mike Perron
- ***SIG**???
-
- mperron@abcus.bates.edu
-
-
-