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- Path: sparky!uunet!dtix!darwin.sura.net!cs.ucf.edu!tarpit!ge-dab!newshost.atl.ge.com!newshost!sbate
- From: sbate@atl.ge.com (Stephen)
- Newsgroups: alt.angst
- Subject: Re: self-defense
- Message-ID: <SBATE.92Dec29122501@mary.atl.ge.com>
- Date: 29 Dec 92 17:25:01 GMT
- References: <85512@ut-emx.uucp>
- Reply-To: sbate@atl.ge.com
- Organization: ATL
- Lines: 83
- NNTP-Posting-Host: mary.atl.ge.com
- In-reply-to: llama@tramp.cc.utexas.edu's message of 17 Dec 92 18:31:52 GMT
-
- In article <85512@ut-emx.uucp> llama@tramp.cc.utexas.edu (sine nomine) writes:
- > bleah. i was going to ignore all this stuff, because it didn't sseem
- > necessary to reply, but something about people i've never even
- > corresponded with dissecting my character as if they know me
- > intimately... bleah.
-
- Sometimes other people know us better than we know ourselves. Maybe it's
- not true in this case. I'm just making an statement based on personal
- experience.
-
- > i really don't want to be argued about; it's annoying and
- > embarrassing.
- >
- > i hang out here 'cause i like it. it's an outlet for whatever i haappen
- > to be thinking at the time. sometimes the things i think are
- > interesting, sometimes they're overly melodramatic. a lot of times i
- > get cool email from people telling me i write well or that i've said
- > something they really needed to hear. that makes me feel good and
- > encourages me to dump more stuff out there.
-
- I have a friend who is a wine expert (he works for a distributor,
- teaches wine tasting classes, etcetera). He says the most interesting
- wines are the ones that cause a little controversy (some people like
- it, some people don't). Wines with this quality have a depth of
- "character" that causes them to become a topic of lively discussion.
- Other wines may be more "pleasurable" but also more boring and
- certainly less memorable.
-
- I think your writing has a similar "depth of character" that's makes it
- somewhat controversial and a great topic for conversation. In other words,
- it enriches the lives of all who read it (whether they like what
- you write or not). It makes them think...
-
- "Is this angst or what?"
- "Do I like this stuff?"
- "If not, why not?"
- "If so, what attracts me to it?"
- "What is she trying to say?"
- "What's her motivation?"
- "Does any of this apply to my life?"
-
- Granted, being at the center of controversy can be uncomfortable. It's
- certainly easier to only consider positive feedback. However, I feel
- (IMO) that you are doing yourself and us a disservice by attemping to
- "control" (i.e. filter) the responses to your writing.
-
- In one of your posts, you said something about angst being associated
- with our separation from an objective reality. You also pointed out
- that filtering of our consciousness makes it impossible to approach
- reality in a meaningful way. Maybe we can't get rid of all our filters
- (although mystics disagree), but some can definitely be eliminated
- through conscious action. I find your posts most interesting when I
- like them the least. They give me insight into the workings of my own
- internal filters. By eliminating these filters, I can potentially
- develop an objective relationship with reality, and, if not eliminate,
- at least manage my personal angst.
-
- > how i see myself: as someone who's survived a lot of things that might
- > have pulled other people under, as a person who has a bit more than
- > the average amount of insight and honesty, and who is able to express
- > her thoughts and feelings well. i think i'm a good writer, and i've
- > been told that others concur. should i hypocritically put on false
- > modesty and say my writing sucks? i'm not into game-playing anymore.
-
- As far as I know, no one has asked you to say your writing sucks. You've
- stated your opinion. Other people have stated their's. Obviously there
- is no law saying that your opinion has to the same as everyone else's.
- This is an example of a boundary that you have (or can have) control over.
-
- > sometimes i do get overly melodramatic and even verge on being
- > mystical about stuff. sometimes i probably post stuff that would be
- > better off unsaid. sometimes i say things that pretty much,
- > consciously or unconsciously, are asking people to tell me i'm okay
- > and should keep writing. sometimes i just want feedback, attention.
- >
- > so how does that make me any different from anyone else who writes to
- > the net?
-
- You're OK. Keep writing... thanks :-)
-
-
- --
- Stephen
-