NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #27/NN_1992_27.iso/spool/soc/motss/47712

Text File | 1992-11-15 | 3.6 KB | 65 lines

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From: [e-mail] (LAURA LINSON ATWOOD)
Subject: Re: Homsexuals rasing children(question)
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Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 02:33:49 GMT
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I don't know whether or not the "role model" issue was implicit in your last
question (i.e. "Do children suffer as a result of having two parents of the
same sex instead of having role models of both sexes?").  Throughout history,
many children (not "children"-- why the quotation marks?) have been raised in
single-sex homes (single parents, parent(s) and/or relatives [mother and
grandmother, for example], and MANY MANY other combinations of blood/non-blood
relatives, neighbors, friends, etc.) and their emotional health has depended
primarily, IMHO, on the QUALITY of the care, not the gender of the caretakers.
I don't see why the "role model" issue would be relevant especially to
homosexual same-sex caretakers.  Also, the mere existence of a role model is
not so important as the existence of a POSITIVE role model: emotional, sexual,
or physical abuse by ANY parent can damage the child's later relationships.
Children have role models BESIDES their parents, too, including close
opposite-sex family (no quotation marks!) friends, relatives (who hopefully
accept the couple's relationship), neighbors, parents of friends,
acquaintances, local/national/world figures, characters in books and movies,
etc.  People may disagree on the necessity of living with at least one adult
of each sex; I do not think it is important, especially in comparison with so
many other factors.

I think that discussions of this topic tend to be overwhelmingly negative/
defensive, and that there might be some positive aspects to consider.
"Mainstream" (whatever you consider that to be-- people live in and are
influenced by different environments) society's judgments and opinions do not
work in every way for every individual.  (I find it difficult to disagree with
this statement.)  I think it can be extremely healthy for a child to grow up
in a family that functions well (which is not to discount lbg families' fair
share of problems) AND differs from society's model; the experience can give
the child great appreciation for diversity and free him/her to be able to look
outside society's "model(s) for a fulfilling life" in many areas.  I think
that people who put so much thought and care into deciding how they want to
live and love, and do so successfully, make excellent role models.

I don't know whether I've directly addressed aspects of your questions, but
these are some thoughts I've had.  There are many excellent books which focus
on long-term same-sex couples (with chapters about children), a few books
specifically about their children, and periodicals with articles on these and
other topics.  It might be very interesting and informative to look around in
bookstores and libraries.  I'd suggest reading a variety of sources and reading
VERY critically: older material, especially, often draws conclusions based on
minimal evidence and questionable social and psychoanalytic theories.  (Of
course, the same thing might be said twenty years from now.  :-} )

I respect that you are conscientiously examining and questioning your views on
this subject (and, it seems likely to me, others).  Best wishes!

Laura A.