NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #27/NN_1992_27.iso/spool/alt/magick/5914

Text File | 1992-11-22 | 3.1 KB | 57 lines

Newsgroups: alt.magick
Path: sparky!uunet!spool.mu.edu!umn.edu!news.cs.indiana.edu![e-mail]
From: "Amy Young Leith" <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: Spawning( was: Re: Many things - was women Vs men (ugh))
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Organization: Indiana University, Bloomington
References: <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]> <[e-mail]>
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 16:50:16 -0500
Lines: 46

In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Christopher Ward) writes:
>I have to add my remarks in with Collin's on this.  I don't think
>there is a single definitative reason for non-spawn policies (or
>pro-procreation for that matter).  My own experience has lead me
>to believe that having children is one of the most positive and
>rewarding part of my life.  I also work with foster kids and know
>that there are a lot of people for whom the parent-child relationship
>dance is a real nightmare for both.
[...]
>My years working with state foster care has certainly shown me that
>there are people out there who can't handle parenthood - but I've
>never run into a child who couldn't handle childhood with the right parent.
>So, from some of the self serving drivel I've seen people post here, I
>imagine that they might see parenthood as a weight on their precious
>time.  Certainly a selfish person would view a child as a parasite
>and perhaps eventually extend that view to almost everyone else.  I'd
>say that such a person is better off celibate, but I wouldn't recommend
>it as a lifestyle for everyone.

I think that children are wonderful.  However, personally, *I* don't
feel comfortable with the idea of having children that come from me.
Why?  Some of it is selfish, very selfish, but I figure not as cruely
selfish as having a child, then dumping them into childcare for 90% of
their first 18 years.  I don't think the world NEEDS my contribution
of another child.  If there were no unwanted/abused children, then I'd
think differently, but if I come to want a child one of these days, my
husband and I have decided that we'd rather adopt.  And I don't mean
pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for a "perfect" white newborn,
either, but any minor who needs a good, loving home.  Granted, that's
asking for one heck of a job, but I feel it's needed.  I saw way too
many kids in my junior high from group homes and foster homes who had
learned not even to unpack their things, because in a few weeks they'd
be shuffled to somewhere else.

Of course, after I've been thinking long and hard about this, and how
it might/would affect my life, I find that I might not even be able to
have children, period.  I can't help but wonder if somehow I *knew*
this and made decisions accordingly to save pain later on.

amy
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